Your Facebook friends philosophy

[milovany]

I received a friend request from my college-aged nephews ex-girlfriend who I met maybe four times the entire 1-2 years they were dating (ending about two years ago). We never spoke more than a handful of sentences to each other. She was nice and all, but I wasn't around much, was busy with my kids at family gatherings, etc.

 

So I'll probably ignore it. But it made me wonder -- what is YOUR practice in accepting or ignoring friend requests?

[JoyfulMama]

Do I WANT to keep in touch with them? Yes = friend. If not - nope!

Keepin it simple.

Now my MIL sent me a friend reqest... that one I had to think on for a long time... but I accepted her in the end.

[mohop]

Do I WANT to keep in touch with them? Yes = friend. If not - nope!

Keepin it simple.

Now my MIL sent me a friend reqest... that one I had to think on for a long time... but I accepted her in the end.

 

Ditto, except that I like my mil :)

 

I also ask myself if I want that person to keep up with me, see pictures of my kid, etc.

 

Sometimes I friend people and de-friend them later.

[Crimson Wife]

#1 is I have to know the person well IRL

#2 is that I have to like the person

#3 is that I don't "friend" people I know in a professional context (i.e. my DH's work colleagues or our family's pediatrician)

#4 is that I don't "friend" people who are relatives of my friends or friends of my relatives unless I would socialize with them independently of that relationship.

 

I'm way pickier about FB "friending" than most folks I know...

[Tam101]

I chose the second option. I've never actually ignored a request, but with the situation you have given I would ignore that. I don't send many requests out either. I've looked through my high school list and only chose a handful to send requests to. A few schoolmates have sent me requests that I have accepted, even though I wouldn't have sent one to them.

[Brigitte]

If I know the person or we are connected through other people, I will accept the person. In your situation, I am not sure what I would do. I would likely not do anything for a while.

[lionfamily1999]

I have a lot of old school friends as fb friends... and I have a long list of requests from either not so friendly school aquaintances or friends that look freaky iykwIm. So, I don't friend people I don't know, unless they come with a familial reference (I have some of my aunt and uncle's 'family friends' on mine), and if I knew them, but it looks like I don't want to 'know' them now, I just leave it as a request :p

[Heather in OK]

If you are not someone I would hang out with in real life, you don't need to know the information I share on FB.

[dragons in the flower bed]

I picked other because I don't friend back people I've never heard of, but will friend anyone I know, and a few people I know of because friends or family talk about them. And I consider using Facebook a lot like walking down a city street. I try to not post anything I wouldn't say out loud in public.

[Scarlett]

I friend anyone who asks. Oh wait, I did refuse to friend the cousin who slept with my husband. Other than that.....I wanted to see how many friends I could get. It is fun. I share nothing on FB I wouldn't share with anyone. If my XH can see it and use it against me in court I figure the friend of a friend is welcome to the info.

[Happy]

I have a simple and shallow philosophy....I only friend folks who make me happy. So I've ignored a few requests and hidden a few more.

[elise1mds]

I chose Other.

 

I accept pretty much all requests, BUT I have major privacy restrictions. I have a list of people I know in person but who I haven't talked to in a long time (high school classmates, distant relatives, etc.) and a list of people I have never met but who are in the same profession I am which is handy for networking if need be.

[mama2cntrykids]

I have to know the person. If it's a friend of a friend that I don't know, forget it! That being said, I have friended my dh's ex wife and my ex husbands ex girlfriend (whom he cheated on me with). So, I have to know them. I don't nessesarily have to LIKE them ;).

[Oak Knoll Mom]

I almost chose #2 Pick & choose -- ignore those I don't want to accept -- but still open to many friends. However, I would have to change it to ignore and block those I don't want to accept. I don't like getting multiple requests or hurting anyone's feelings.

[caitlinsmom]

I am of the close® friends and family camp. I hate getting requests from someone I knew 10 years ago and never talked to. I feel like its just a big popularity game to a lot of people. When I am sharing info about my life, kids, ect. I want it to go to people who matter to me.

 

I have a friend who adds every person under the sun and it just drives me nuts! Now she wont really post info or pictures because she has to many friends on there. I dont get it.

 

Anyway I guess you could call me a facebook snob. :D

[mbeaser]

I don't seek out people I don't know well/remember fondly (and I send relatively few friend requests), but I almost never turn down friend requests (except XH, which was just weird to get anyway...). But, as others have said, I don't post info I would mind having out in public. I even accepted my ex-MIL's request (although, I did have to think about that one for a while...and delete a single post that mentioned her before I did so). But, I've not got a huge friend list, either.

[BigMamaBird]

I accept friend requests from almost everyone. But I have no problem with unfriending people who make offensive posts or if you can tell they're just out to get the highest friend count they can and have no intention of ever talking with me. I hover around 150, any more than that and it's just too many to keep up with.

[Alenee]

I'm pretty picky. I wasn't at first. I got a lot of friend requests from school days but have since de-friended many of them and hidden quite a few as well. I also have pretty strict privacy set up because you just never know...

[creekmom]

I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so I accepted a lot of people I really didn't want to keep in touch with. Now I'm sorry I did. It ruined Facebook for me! I have a bunch of people posting things on my wall etc. that I don't want on there. I did end up blocking one guy bc he was just rude. If I had it do over, I'd only accept the people I really cared about!

[Scarlett]

I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so I accepted a lot of people I really didn't want to keep in touch with. Now I'm sorry I did. It ruined Facebook for me! I have a bunch of people posting things on my wall etc. that I don't want on there. I did end up blocking one guy bc he was just rude. If I had it do over, I'd only accept the people I really cared about!

 

Just remove them as friends. They probably won't even notice. Or change your privacy settings so only those you want can see what you post and you can see their posts.

Edited December 17, 2009 by Scarlett

[Remudamom]

I have refused people I knew in high school and friended people I've never even met from message boards. It all depends.

[LibraryLover]

I have very tight controls. I am not a more the merrier type.

[Nestof3]

I don't have that many, and I accept as many as ask and only disconnect if I find their posts offensive or such.

 

I guess for me, I never know what that person from high school is like now. I met up with an old college friend (a guy), and his wife is homeschooling now, so that's pretty cool.

[OnTheBrink]

I have refused people I knew in high school and friended people I've never even met from message boards. It all depends.

 

:iagree:

[amyable]

If I know the person IRL, I friend people who I was at least "friendly" with in high school, college, etc. I have a large number of facebook friends who I only know from message boards though. In that case I have to have "known" them for several years, to make sure they are on the up and up. I do message many people that ask to be friends, saying I can't friend them if I don't know them well. I blame it on my dh, lol.

[Jenny in Atl]

#2... But there have only been a couple I've ignored.

[Remudamom]

I friend anyone who asks. Oh wait, I did refuse to friend the cousin who slept with my husband.

 

Good for you Scahlett! I think that's a good rule to keep.

[Scarlett]

Good for you Scahlett! I think that's a good rule to keep.

 

Can you believe she asked? I suppose I should thank her though because my XH DID accept her and when I realized it I began investigating and well the rest is history.

 

FB cracks me up. I accept sooooo many people and it is a lot of fun to watch their lives--even I do not know them well---on line. I've had a few with language I can't tolerate and I've either blocked them or deleted them. Mostly I just scroll down and read it like I would my hometown paper. I'm 90 miles from my hometown and others of course have moved either further away, so FB is a great way to keep up with births and deaths and natural disastors. There was a deadly tornado in my hometown this year and when no ones phone was working FB still was so we were able to get a lot of news that way.

[Krista in LA]

I put number 1 - accept them all, but I think this has recently gotten me in trouble. My sister's xh (they've been divorced about 20 years) sent me a request that I accepted. I think my sis is mad at me about it, but as my dh pointed out, they have been divorced 20 years, he's the father of my nephew, and she is supposed to be an adult.

 

ETA She has other issues, otherwise I might be more concerned about whether it bothered her or not.

Edited December 17, 2009 by Krista in LA

[katemary63]

There are some people who request to be friended from me and I wonder, Why? Why do they want to be FB friends, because IRL, it just doesn't make sense. A nephew's ex-girlfriend is exactly what I'm talking about. It seems younger people what as many friends as possible. I just ignore them. Most people I accept.

[JoyfulMama]

Ditto, except that I like my mil :)

 

I also ask myself if I want that person to keep up with me, see pictures of my kid, etc.

 

Sometimes I friend people and de-friend them later.

 

I like my MIL, but I wasn't sure if I wanted her in on my peer world. I wouldn't invite my MIL out for a night out with my friends - and that is who is mostly on my FB.

[Scarlett]

I like my MIL, but I wasn't sure if I wanted her in on my peer world. I wouldn't invite my MIL out for a night out with my friends - and that is who is mostly on my FB.

 

With the new privacy settings you can set it where she doesn't see your comments or your friends comments...I think. I haven't checked it out myself, but that is what I read.

 

My mom is on my FB. And my brother. I certainly don't use FB like a night out with my girlfriends. It is much too public for that.

[Tess in the Burbs]

I often accept odd requests but if they say nothing in a month I dump them, lol

[JoyfulMama]

With the new privacy settings you can set it where she doesn't see your comments or your friends comments...I think. I haven't checked it out myself, but that is what I read.

 

My mom is on my FB. And my brother. I certainly don't use FB like a night out with my girlfriends. It is much too public for that.

 

I think you may have misinterpretted. A night out with my girlfriends is much different than a night out with friends. In a night out with friends, many topics may be discussed, and fun would be had, but not intimately as it would be with my girlfriends. If I wouldn't say it in public, I don't write it. Messaging, though - that's for my girlfriends and for anything more private.

 

And really, if I would friend her and then not allow her to see anything I would post, why would I want to have her as a friend?

[BikeBookBread]

When I was a Facebooker (I hate FB, but everyone here knows that), I accepted 99% of the requests, and felt horribly guilty about ignoring those few I ignored. I wish now that I had had a stricter close friends and family only policy...