unsinkable Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 would you answer "NO" because you didn't see the story, you read the story. Because my brain is going to bleeping explode. And what if you were asked to look up a name & number in the phone book...and you were told it is (for example) Giangreca on Oak St. And you found Giangreco on Oak St. Would you close the phone book and say it's not in there? Or would you tell your wife the number and that it's Giangreco, not Giangreca? :bigear: Because my brain hurts and I wonder how I can do this for the rest of my living days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen500 Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 would you answer "NO" because you didn't see the story, you read the story. Because my brain is going to bleeping explode. And what if you were asked to look up a name & number in the phone book...and you were told it is (for example) Giangreca on Oak St. And you found Giangreco on Oak St. Would you close the phone book and say it's not in there? Or would you tell your wife the number and that it's Giangreco, not Giangreca? :bigear: Because my brain hurts and I wonder how I can do this for the rest of my living days. Well, I wouldn't tell my wife anything, but only because I don't have one. I'd probably mention that discrepancy to my husband, though. And in order to read a story, you have to see the words, so you could argue that position, if you'd like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 Oh, hon. I'm in the same boat. If I had time I'd tell you about yesterday. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perry Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 would you answer "NO" because you didn't see the story, you read the story. Because my brain is going to bleeping explode. And what if you were asked to look up a name & number in the phone book...and you were told it is (for example) Giangreca on Oak St. And you found Giangreco on Oak St. Would you close the phone book and say it's not in there? Or would you tell your wife the number and that it's Giangreco, not Giangreca? :bigear: Because my brain hurts and I wonder how I can do this for the rest of my living days. How could you read the story if you didn't see it? Braille? Sounds like my daughter. Yesterday, after listening to her argue about the most ridiculous picky semantic trivia all afternoon, I looked at her and said "BLACK"! She looked at me quizzically and I told her I was waiting for her to say white. She knocked it off for awhile, at least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in the Kootenays Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 In our house, I attribute it to Aspergers - otherwise I'd have to take it personally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted December 13, 2009 Author Share Posted December 13, 2009 Well, I wouldn't tell my wife anything, but only because I don't have one. I'd probably mention that discrepancy to my husband, though. And in order to read a story, you have to see the words, so you could argue that position, if you'd like. Or you could grab the newspaper and rub it against your ear, under your nose and pretend to lick it, :tongue_smilie: all the while asking, what sense did you use to read the story??? :lol: Because it been like, 18 years of this... And I think he said something like, I thought you meant was the story on TV... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perry Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 Or you could grab the newspaper and rub it against your ear, under your nose and pretend to lick it, :tongue_smilie: all the while asking, what sense did you use to read the story??? :lol: Because it been like, 18 years of this... And I think he said something like, I thought you meant was the story on TV... So is he really being literal, or is he being argumentative? If he's doing it on purpose, I'd be really annoyed. If he doesn't get the nuances of language, I'd be much more tolerant. My dd just likes to argue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 So is he really being literal, or is he being argumentative? If he's doing it on purpose, I'd be really annoyed. If he doesn't get the nuances of language, I'd be much more tolerant. My dd just likes to argue. Right. This. And I have a ds9 who likes to argue too. 'I thought you meant....' 'I didn't know you meant.....' 'You didn't say that....' ARrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freerange Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 :grouphug: I get this from my DS all.the.time. 'Would you like a brew?' 'No thanks' then 5 minutes later... 'Muuuum, can I have a drink?' 'Why didn't you ask for one when I was making them?' 'I thought you were only offering hot drinks'!!!!! or the argument over whether the timer display should change to 59 minutes at the end of the first minute or the start... or the blank looks when I ask him to pass the butter when its notallowedtobecalledbutterdairyspread.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted December 13, 2009 Author Share Posted December 13, 2009 So is he really being literal, or is he being argumentative? If he's doing it on purpose, I'd be really annoyed. If he doesn't get the nuances of language, I'd be much more tolerant. My dd just likes to argue. He doesn't like to argue. I wonder if he pays attention? I mean, we talk about "news" daily. (That's kind of funny.) From the TV, newspaper & radio. To me, it doesn't/didn't matter where the story came from. And I would have thought he was the same way. We talk about the story, not the medium (media?) how we found out about the story. Maybe he was distracted and just said no b/c he wasn't paying attention... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted December 13, 2009 Author Share Posted December 13, 2009 :grouphug: I get this from my DS all.the.time. 'Would you like a brew?' 'No thanks' then 5 minutes later... 'Muuuum, can I have a drink?' 'Why didn't you ask for one when I was making them?' 'I thought you were only offering hot drinks'!!!!! or the argument over whether the timer display should change to 59 minutes at the end of the first minute or the start... or the blank looks when I ask him to pass the butter when its notallowedtobecalledbutterdairyspread.... DO NOT get me started on the butter/margarine thing. :tongue_smilie: "Get the butter." "All out." "We are not. It is a huge yellow container." "That's not butter." "Put it on the table so we can have dinner!!!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
springmama Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 I'm guilty of this type of thing sometimes and it's not because I'm trying to be difficult. When my husband asks me "do you know where I might find the keys" I say "yes" and then go about my business. It clearly doesn't register in my mind that he's not asking a simple yes or no question. He then has to remind me that he wanted to know where the keys are. Now, if he'd say "where are the keys?" I could tell him. I'm also clueless when he politely says "it would be great if you could pick up your clothes of the bathroom floor." I don't do it, because he's not actually asking me to. Then he gets frustrated and I'm clueless. I say something like "Well why didn't you just ask me?" I have no idea why I do these things and I am not trying to be difficult. I'm just weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted December 13, 2009 Author Share Posted December 13, 2009 Right. This. And I have a ds9 who likes to argue too. 'I thought you meant....' 'I didn't know you meant.....' 'You didn't say that....' ARrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhh. I call this the "Greg Brady" defense. Remember the Brady Bunch when Greg was told not to drive a certain car...but he took a different car & got in trouble anyway but tried to defend himself b/c he follow the letter of his parents' punishment, but not the spirit? How's that for a run-on sentence? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacie Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 DO NOT get me started on the butter/margarine thing. :tongue_smilie: "Get the butter." "All out." "We are not. It is a huge yellow container." "That's not butter." "Put it on the table so we can have dinner!!!!!" :lol: I wrote in large sharpie marker on the non-dairy margarine container "Sometimes referred to as butter...Get it?" It did work! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 In our house, I attribute it to Aspergers - otherwise I'd have to take it personally. I was thinking the same thing. My Aspergian brother had to learn to reinterpret everything less literally before responding. You still catch him sometimes saying, "Oh, but you don't care that it was spelled different. Yes, the number is..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perry Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 I'm guilty of this type of thing sometimes and it's not because I'm trying to be difficult. Me too. I HATE it when people drop hints about things, because I don't pick up on them. If you want me to do something, you have to be explicit, because otherwise it goes right past me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen500 Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 :lol: I wrote in large sharpie marker on the non-dairy margarine container "Sometimes referred to as butter...Get it?" It did work! Aaaach! Butter and margarine are not the same at all!!!!!!:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted December 13, 2009 Author Share Posted December 13, 2009 (edited) Aaaach! Butter and margarine are not the same at all!!!!!!:D You are right. It is different & I am guilty of using the 2 interchanably. But, in my defense, for nearly 18 years, we've used butter for cooking & baking and the yellow tub for the table at dinner (if needed). Except at Easter, when we have a butter lamb at the table. It is a butter-shaped lamb. Not lamb-flavored butter. Or butter made from lamb. :tongue_smilie: ETA:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butter_lamb Edited December 13, 2009 by unsinkable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brilliant Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 ...Except at Easter, when we have a butter lamb at the table. It is a butter-shaped lamb. Not lamb-flavored butter. Or butter made from lamb. :tongue_smilie: ETA:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butter_lamb Well, that is just adorable! I clicked on your link to Wikipedia and then followed a link to flickr pics of butter lambs. I especially like one wearing a Krispy Kreme cap (although I'm not sure of the connection between butter lambs and Krispy Kreme...) I may have to ask for a lamb mold for Christmas. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacie Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 Aaaach! Butter and margarine are not the same at all!!!!!!:D :001_rolleyes: Yes, I'm aware they are not the same. Teaching a two-year old to say the word "butter" is much easier than teaching "non-dairy vegetable spread" and having the very literal older children go with the flow required another step. We've always used real butter, until it was determined the two autistic boys did better without dairy. Changing names for something that seems to provide the same purpose seemed, well, insignificant at the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 (edited) Two words come to mind when I read several of these posts....."passive agressive". I'm just sayin'.....:D Edited December 13, 2009 by katemary63 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted December 13, 2009 Author Share Posted December 13, 2009 Well, that is just adorable! I clicked on your link to Wikipedia and then followed a link to flickr pics of butter lambs. I especially like one wearing a Krispy Kreme cap (although I'm not sure of the connection between butter lambs and Krispy Kreme...) I may have to ask for a lamb mold for Christmas. :001_smile: I think that krispy kreme hat is just for fun. Not traditional. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elise1mds Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 (edited) In our house, I attribute it to Aspergers - otherwise I'd have to take it personally. :iagree: :glare: Edited to add, after reading the passive-aggressive comment: www.passive-aggressivenotes.com. Some content is questionable, so be warned. Edited December 13, 2009 by elise1mds Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnitaMcC Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 In our house, I attribute it to Aspergers - otherwise I'd have to take it personally. LOL, same here. Dh got so tired of Ds's (Aspie) semantics and arguing over trivial things. So one day Dh said to Ds, "The sky is green". Ds argued it and argued it. Dh just kept saying it over and over. Frustrated Ds!!!! LOL. This went on for hours!!!!!!! Finally Ds gave up. And the next time Ds wanted to argue semantics.... Dh would say "The sky is green". Ds had a horrified look but not another peep was said-LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 Two words come to mind when I read several of these posts....."passive agressive". I'm just sayin'.....:D :iagree: DH often insists on things being worded just right. I've learned to word my requests just right to get the results I want. I have to use the phrase "would you" not "could you" or "can you" because he'll answer that yes, he can. Then I have to include "please" or he won't move. Finally, I have to give the time frame I want it done in. I've learned to word things specifically; and he's learned to not require the specifics so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeAndTheBoys Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 i was going to quote the same episode--we just had a Greg Brady moment in the car this morning. Can't remember the details, but DS1 "did a Greg", and dh laughed--and I said, "When I married Greg Brady, I shouldn't be surprised that we spawned another Greg Brady." Luckily my dh USUALLY admits he's messing around with me, but I do still get annoyed when I have to pull the answers out of him because I didn't say it EXACTLY right. Ugh, I feel your pain--- Betsy I call this the "Greg Brady" defense. Remember the Brady Bunch when Greg was told not to drive a certain car...but he took a different car & got in trouble anyway but tried to defend himself b/c he follow the letter of his parents' punishment, but not the spirit? How's that for a run-on sentence? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeAndTheBoys Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 (And yes, the Greg Brady syndrome in our house IS related to Aspie 1 and Aspie 2, but Greg Brady syndrome is something they are AWARE of and dh at least knows better and ought to try harder, and often is just messing with me now----) Betsy In our house, I attribute it to Aspergers - otherwise I'd have to take it personally. i was going to quote the same episode--we just had a Greg Brady moment in the car this morning. Can't remember the details, but DS1 "did a Greg", and dh laughed--and I said, "When I married Greg Brady, I shouldn't be surprised that we spawned another Greg Brady." Luckily my dh USUALLY admits he's messing around with me, but I do still get annoyed when I have to pull the answers out of him because I didn't say it EXACTLY right. Ugh, I feel your pain--- Betsy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amber in AUS Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 To the OP i feel for you! If it were me i think next time i would say "So did you hear, see, feel or taste that story about x today? Wasn't it interesting." It would just drive me nuts! I think men on the whole are alot more literal than women who are much better are multitasking and interpreting the differences in language given by children who might not explain themselves clearly or well. We are the ultimate problem solvers and as a result i think we sometimes expect a little too much from the rest of society, well i know i get my knickers in a knot often enough because my expectations are too high. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 Well, I usually have to SEE (as in "look at") the article before I can READ it, so no, that wouldn't bother me. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Mac Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 You are right. It is different & I am guilty of using the 2 interchanably. But, in my defense, for nearly 18 years, we've used butter for cooking & baking and the yellow tub for the table at dinner (if needed). Except at Easter, when we have a butter lamb at the table. It is a butter-shaped lamb. Not lamb-flavored butter. Or butter made from lamb. :tongue_smilie: ETA:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butter_lamb I'm glad I clicked through to the flickr photos because I couldn't understand what was so exciting about lamb in the shape of butter - wouldn't it just be an oblong hunk of lamb. In the spirit of the thread and being picky, it would be lamb-shaped butter :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted December 14, 2009 Author Share Posted December 14, 2009 I'm glad I clicked through to the flickr photos because I couldn't understand what was so exciting about lamb in the shape of butter - wouldn't it just be an oblong hunk of lamb. In the spirit of the thread and being picky, it would be lamb-shaped butter :lol: Yes, you are correct. I'm a dork. :lol: It is butter, in the shape of a lamb. With an alleluia sign. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted December 14, 2009 Author Share Posted December 14, 2009 Well, I usually have to SEE (as in "look at") the article before I can READ it, so no, that wouldn't bother me. :confused: I said did you see the story about...(it happened to be a 100 year old tavern that burned down, not that it matters.) He answered, "No." Some time later, he started talking about the tavern. I said I thought you hadn't seen the story. He said he hadn't seen it. He had read it in the paper. Since he said no, I thought he hadn't known about the story at all. But, as I have obviously proved time and again on this board, including this thread, I am not the best communicator myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted December 14, 2009 Share Posted December 14, 2009 I said did you see the story about...(it happened to be a 100 year old tavern that burned down, not that it matters.) He answered, "No." Some time later, he started talking about the tavern. I said I thought you hadn't seen the story. He said he hadn't seen it. He had read it in the paper. Since he said no, I thought he hadn't known about the story at all. But, as I have obviously proved time and again on this board, including this thread, I am not the best communicator myself. I am confused. Why didn't he say, "No, but I read it in the paper." I don't get it. If my husband did that, I would think he was being a butt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted December 14, 2009 Share Posted December 14, 2009 Yes, you are correct. I'm a dork. :lol: It is butter, in the shape of a lamb. With an alleluia sign. I'm so sorry, but I am compelled to ask about the butter lamb. Are you supposed to eat the butter lamb? Or is it just for decoration? It sort of seems like those candles in the shape of people or animals that are so cute, until you actually burn the candle...and then it's kind of a bummer. I think I'd have a hard time spreading that on my bread! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted December 14, 2009 Share Posted December 14, 2009 I said did you see the story about...(it happened to be a 100 year old tavern that burned down, not that it matters.) He answered, "No." Some time later, he started talking about the tavern. I said I thought you hadn't seen the story. He said he hadn't seen it. He had read it in the paper. Since he said no, I thought he hadn't known about the story at all. But, as I have obviously proved time and again on this board, including this thread, I am not the best communicator myself. No, I said it wrong. I meant that Yes, it would bother me if he was being that picky about semantics. I agree with Nakia, I would think he was being a butt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted December 14, 2009 Share Posted December 14, 2009 But, as I have obviously proved time and again on this board, including this thread, I am not the best communicator myself. Huh? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted December 14, 2009 Author Share Posted December 14, 2009 I'm so sorry, but I am compelled to ask about the butter lamb. Are you supposed to eat the butter lamb? Or is it just for decoration? It sort of seems like those candles in the shape of people or animals that are so cute, until you actually burn the candle...and then it's kind of a bummer. I think I'd have a hard time spreading that on my bread! Yes, you eat it. Yes, you have to pick a place to start, either the head or the, um, bum...:lol: Nice use of the word "bummer!" :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irene Lynn Posted December 14, 2009 Share Posted December 14, 2009 My father would have done that and he wouldn't have been arguing. I now believe he has Aspergers. It explains SOOO much. I wish we had known earlier (He is almost 80.) It would have helped our attitudes toward him and might have helped us explain things to him in a better way. My dd is pretty literal, too, and so am I to a certain extent, but not as bad as my father. I still have trouble not rolling my eyes at my dd sometimes. You should hear the PRECISE instructions I give her sometimes. She is very obedient, but does not see beyond what I am saying at times. I should clarify that. She is great at thinking beyond with abstact ideas, but give her a task that requires her body to move and she can't seem to think. This is NOT her being obstinate, she just short circuits with physical tasks. This is the same with puzzles or copying body positioning, etc. My father would have needed your question worded something like: Are you aware of the story about ...? or Have you read or heard anything about ...? Or could you look up Joe Smith on Oak St. or anything similar and let me know what you find? (Because no doubt it would say Joseph or just J. and he wouldn't have thought that was the same.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rookie Posted December 14, 2009 Share Posted December 14, 2009 with a raised baseball bat in hand. As encouragement. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted December 14, 2009 Share Posted December 14, 2009 with a raised baseball bat in hand. As encouragement. ;) OH! this. yes. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melhouse Posted December 14, 2009 Share Posted December 14, 2009 I am confused. Why didn't he say, "No, but I read it in the paper." I don't get it. If my husband did that, I would think he was being a butt. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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