Hikin' Mama Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 isn't it rude to be texting while someone else is talking to you? Do texts have to be answered immediately, or can you go back and read them later? I've had this happen to me several times (I'm talking about adults, not teens), both with people I know well, and with people with whom I'm making casual conversation. Tell me, is there any such thing as textiquette (text etiquette)? Am I being old fashioned in expecting people to give me the same attention I'm giving them when they talk? :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn in OH Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Well I don't text either, but I would find it incredibly rude if I were talking to someone and they were texting someone else. To me it's similar to a phone call, you wouldn't have a phone conversation with someone else while talking to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacie Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Very rude. And I've been known to stop mid-sentence and walk away. I text from time to time, but don't do it while in the presence of others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 YES--definitely really, really rude. The only exceptions are true emergencies or necessary parent-child stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kpupg Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 YES--definitely really, really rude. The only exceptions are true emergencies or necessary parent-child stuff. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Yes, I had a little party here last month--a bunch of ladies from church--& half of them were on their phones, texting, checking messages, or fixing settings, nearly half the time they were here. Like, there's a lag in the conversation, & people w/out phones try to start a new one. People w/ phones wait to be entertained. Between turns on a game? Phones. Next time, I think I'll dig around for my kids' play phones, & when it gets to be a problem, I'll pass those out to everybody who didn't bring their own "toy." ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbie Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Yes, I had a little party here last month--a bunch of ladies from church--& half of them were on their phones, texting, checking messages, or fixing settings, nearly half the time they were here. Like, there's a lag in the conversation, & people w/out phones try to start a new one. People w/ phones wait to be entertained. Between turns on a game? Phones. Next time, I think I'll dig around for my kids' play phones, & when it gets to be a problem, I'll pass those out to everybody who didn't bring their own "toy." ;) How rude, next time I would post a note on the door- NO TEXTING ALLOWED> My sis does this to me all the time. I dont see her for months, then we go out and she is texting her boyfriend she sees every day. I just dont like being around her anymore. Apparently, I am not a texter. I just think people should have special ring for emergency and that is it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NavyWifeandMommy Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I hate it when people text when I am talking to them. I have had it happen a few times and yes it's rude. I don't text and usually put my phone on vibrate while visiting Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Definitely at dinner and at parties I think it's a no-no. But if I'm just hanging out with someone and they send a few texts, it's not a big deal to me. If they did it the entire time we were together I'd probably point it out, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Very rude. And I've been known to stop mid-sentence and walk away. I text from time to time, but don't do it while in the presence of others. This!! This has become my new automatic personal policy! I love my iPhone. I will text and so forth. But no, not when doing something else. The only time I respond to my phone is: for dh (who knows I get highly annoyed if he texts me more than twice in a row - more than 2 texts = the need for a phone conversation) for my kids or if the timer/reminder I have on it goes off that's it. But I'm weird, I feel the same way about phone conversations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FourOaks Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 This has been driving me crazy lately also. Can people not understand how rude they are? How can a text or call take priority (excluding emergencies of course) over an actual face-to-face conversation??Aubrey, I am so sorry this happened to you and that those women were so very rude. It just makes me sad about what our society has come to now. It amazes me that otherwise well-mannered, seemingly intelligent adults cannot forsake their gadgets for a reasonable amount of time while supposedly enjoying the company of others and their hospitality. Just. plain. sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I think this is something people are grappling with all over. Texting in the presence of someone is like physically turning your back on them during a conversation. If I must text someone, I always excuse myself to the person I'm with and say something like, "I'm sorry, I need to let my daughter know where she can find the diapers." If it's not important enough to excuse myself, it's not important enough to respond. People, particularly teens, regard texting as an umbilical cord between them and their friends. Some can become quite agitated and annoyed when there isn't an immediate response. Not that it's excusable, but I think that's why people tend to treat texting differently than a phone call. Here's an essay regarding this very thing: When Texting is Wrong I was actually hunting another even better essay but I can't find it, so this one will have to do. Made me feel better that I'm not the only one. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PineFarmMom Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 isn't it rude to be texting while someone else is talking to you? Do texts have to be answered immediately' date=' or can you go back and read them later? I've had this happen to me several times (I'm talking about adults, not teens), both with people I know well, and with people with whom I'm making casual conversation. Tell me, is there any such thing as textiquette (text etiquette)? Am I being old fashioned in expecting people to give me the same attention I'm giving them when they talk? :confused:[/quote'] I do text, very occasionally, and will not ever respond while speaking to someone in person. Adult or teen, it is rude. Before dd got her phone, we were at the store talking to a friend of ours from church and his girlfriend. In our 5-min. conversation, his gf responded to probably 10 texts. I found it to be unbelievably rude and had the discussion with dd afterwards that that was not to ever be her habit. She saw it, thought it was rude, and agreed with me. We don't do the thing of riding in the car, conversing, and her texting during the conversation. Yes, it would be a rude thing towards us, but most importantly I want her to understand that it is incredibly rude to other people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle T Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I have had to ask him many, many times to not constantly text when we are at the dinner table, sitting together talking, or spending time together. He will read incoming texts while he is driving, which scares me to death. I guess I should be glad that so far, he hasn't texted while we are in bed! I send DH texts occasionally during the day, but I'm sitting at home on the couch while I do it. Not talking to someone else. That is very rude. Michelle T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Before dd got her phone, we were at the store talking to a friend of ours from church and his girlfriend. In our 5-min. conversation, his gf responded to probably 10 texts. I found it to be unbelievably rude and had the discussion with dd afterwards that that was not to ever be her habit. I agree with you that it's good to set these parameters with our kids. My college-age daughter knows that since I see her rarely, I hate sitting in the same room while she is furiously texting. She excuses herself if it's a one-text thing, goes to the other room if it isn't, or asks me if I mind first. Sometimes I'm reading a book or I'm on the computer and I don't care. My high-school aged daughter will text when I'm in the room but never, ever in the middle of a conversation with anyone inside or out of the family... :001_rolleyes: Pet Peeve Alert :001_rolleyes: ...and never at a restaurant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Whether it is rude or not depends on the culture you are in, but for the most part, yes it is rude unless prefaced with "sorry, I really have to get this." There are times when a text would take priority, like if you are waiting for someone to arrive and the text might be them asking for directions or something. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Since this is a problem, obviously....should we start some sort of movement to correct or inform folks? I'm in a tired, wired, and ornery mood today. Plus I just ate an entire Snickers bar. I'm in the mood to rumble. lol Should we start saying to our guests, drop your cell phones here? And provide a basket in the entry closet? Should we speak up when someone we are conversing with starts texting? "Oh, dear, you must have an emergency to deal with! How can I help?" Adding a dramatic tone to the voice, an eyebrow raise, and a hand to the throat would be appropriate, don't you think? My dogs are better trained some adults....at least, the dogs don't text when I talk to them. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I don't text, but I would assume it would be the same etiquette as phone calls. I only take calls when I'm with someone (this includes my cell phone and my home phone) if I'm expecting a call from my doctor or my husband. And I will warn the person ahead of time with an apology that I am expecting the call. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikin' Mama Posted December 10, 2009 Author Share Posted December 10, 2009 it's good to know that I'm not alone. I don't text, because it takes me too ding dang long. Just call me and tell me what you want to tell me, and I'll respond. :D And Aubrey, I'm so sorry about your party. Their loss! My oldest had some friends over for a birthday party a couple years ago, and he had the same thing happen. He was so upset! (He doesn't have a phone, so he doesn't text either.) It was a good lesson for him on being a gracious host, though. Thanks again for the replies! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Rude. Texting is fine, but not when you interrupt a person right in front of you to do it. Rude, rude, rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruthie Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 It is rude and I don't do it. I once had my graduate advisor text while he WAS talking to me during our first meeting!! But I often wonder, what is the point of teaching our children these manners, if no one will follow them anymore in the next generation, kwim? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coleroo Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I'm 26 and my husband is 25 and neither one of us can stand this behavior either. We think it's rude, period, to put your attention to a phone if you're in the company of another person with whom you're supposed to be conversing. All of my little cousins (young teens) do this and it drives me to no end!!! I'm always getting annoyed when they come over because the entire time their focus is on the phone. It makes me wanna tell them "What's the point of you even coming here???". It even drove me nuts when I was leaving teenhood (early 2000s) when cell phone texting was just becoming mainstream. I use to have friends that would stop in mid conversation with me (even if we were together one on one) to answer their cell phone and then carry on a chat with THAT person instead. I always find it very rude. Devoting your attention to the LIVE person you are with is #1 priority in all cases save an emergency. Text messages can be saved for later, read later, responded to later. And voicemail is there for a reason too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 YES, IT IS RUDE!!! Sheesh. Why do people do that??:glare::glare::glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 so let's make a universal response system! first text - ignore it. everyone gets 1 slip right? second - turn and walk away third - oh my that must be important - should we visit some other time? forth - leave. just leave. fifth - will there be a 5th? maybe? how about peering over their shoulder and saying "OH! I can't believe she said that! What's her number? I got something to tell her too!" or you can do what I have taken to doing with dh text them! repeatedly! quickly! without waiting for a response! I like to text: ding! ding! ding! ding! ding! ding! about that time I hear an annoyed, "WTH?! Quit dinging me woman!" to which I reply, "I'll quit dinging when you turn off and ignore your dinger and pay attention to me/the people in front of you dadnambit!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Oh and I have been known to hang up on people if I find out they are driving. At a long light or something is okay for a quick 2 second kind of thing, but if I think they are actually steering and pressing gas, I spit out that they can call when they aren't driving and I hang up. Even if it's my dh. Seriously. I do not ever want to hear the squeel of brakes and crushing glass of a loved one thank you very much.:auto: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 so let's make a universal response system! first text - ignore it. everyone gets 1 slip right? second - turn and walk away third - oh my that must be important - should we visit some other time? forth - leave. just leave. fifth - will there be a 5th? maybe? how about peering over their shoulder and saying "OH! I can't believe she said that! What's her number? I got something to tell her too!" or you can do what I have taken to doing with dh text them! repeatedly! quickly! without waiting for a response! I like to text: ding! ding! ding! ding! ding! ding! about that time I hear an annoyed, "WTH?! Quit dinging me woman!" to which I reply, "I'll quit dinging when you turn off and ignore your dinger and pay attention to me/the people in front of you dadnambit!" :lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizzyBee Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I can't stand this. There are 2 people where I work who are totally addicted to their phones. I am a manager, and they will answer their phones, read their texts, send texts, run down the hall to answer their phone, etc. during meetings with me!!! They are ages 32 and 40, so it's not because they're too young to know better. Can you tell it irks me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyful Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Yeah, I also think it is impolite to text while speaking with someone. The thing is that I've noticed something "broader" that's happened since "texting" has become so popular. Used to be, people at the local playground would chat with each other while they watch their kids. Now, most people just sit there on the benches texting,.... I find it unfortunate that it's cut down on such community interactions. Some may argue that people are still engaging in meaningful interactions, but more specifically with the people they know. But I don't know, I feel like we are missing out on something,.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luna Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Oh, this is such a pet peeve of mine, I can hardly contain my reaction. I am a dinosaur when it comes to cell phone use-I have a pre-paid phone I rarely use. It is for emergencies and for being reached when my children are not with me. I am also an introvert, so the thought of being accessible to everyone wherever I am makes me cringe. Cell phone use in general is out of control in our culture and texting seems to only have made it worse. I think people believe that because it is silent, it isn't rude. I told my daughter (13) who is eager to have the cell phone of her own, that it is the same as whispering to text in front of someone. She has been with friends who text in a car when one is in the front and others are in the back seat. Being the only one without a phone is difficult for her, and I feel her pain. But I refuse to get her a phone for use as a toy. Why can't these girls talk to one another? Shame on the parent driving for not insisting the phones be put away. Like I said, it is as though they were whispering to each other and not including her in the conversation. I also believe that texting lowers inhibitions, particularly of teens, allowing them to "say" something they wouldn't verbalize in a conversation, face to face or over a phone. I have actually seen a woman text at church during the service. I know she has teens at home, but I highly doubt there is an emergency nearly every service, especially when she is smiling as she texts back. It is RUDE, RUDE, RUDE! Thanks for letting me vent! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdeveson Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Text messages do not have to be answered immediately. They're happy to sit in your phone until you're ready to answer them. Of course it's rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I think this is a case where ettiquette has not kept up with technology. To teens, it's not rude. They all do it to each other. It's just a new "flow." I find it incredibly rude, but is it because I grew up in essentially a different culture? Are social interactions really in flux right now? Will what is normal to my grandkids be foreign to me? I wonder about these things. I think it's something that is in flux right now. Schools put their foot down about it. It's not acceptable in classes. If employers do, too, then some ettiquette that we might recognize as such might evolve. Who knows? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cindie2dds Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Text messages do not have to be answered immediately. They're happy to sit in your phone until you're ready to answer them. Of course it's rude. :iagree: Phones, texting, email was all created for *our* convenience so we didn't have to answer immediately, right? It's rude, plain and simple. I don't always answer my phone, although it drive my kids nuts. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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