GothicGyrl Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 a pathetic loser mom who can't seem to hold a job down? Yeah, after praising them to the heavens in the Horton thread, I lost my job last night. I lipped off to the little old lady who has been there for 10 years for pinching, pushing and poking me out of the way. (the total walking area of the counter is maybe just big enough for two people to slide through chest to chest (touching).. two people cannot walk through side by side. She would "excuse me" to everyone else, but push and jab a nail in my side to get me to move) So the owner(ted) tells me that he's got to let me go because he can't risk losing someone he's had for a long time (she told him she wasn't coming back to work as long as I was there because she didn't like me).. so anyone got a job for a loser mom like me? On the plus side, I'm checking out the tech college here and I can get a full ride scholarship for being "35, female, unable to hold a job down and dependant on others for living". How sad is that? ugh.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 I'm sorry you lost your job, Toni. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue G in PA Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Sounds like this spec. situation was already decided...out of your control. Don't beat yourself up over that! Are you serious about the tech college? It isn't pathetic/sad. Is it something you really WANT to do? What kind of jobs do you like? Do you NEED to have a job? Sorry to hammer at you w/ so many questions...just trying to get a handle on the situation, KWIM? I don't know about jobs outside the home. Have you tried (gulp!) retail? Perhaps a children's clothing store where you could get a discount on clothes? I'm sorry I don't have the answers. Just a little encouragement...don't beat yourself up. People like that "little old lady" just make me so mad. :glare: Hang in there... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom2legomaniacs Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 I'm sorry some grouchy grump of goof couldn't be nice to you. That's not fair! I hope you find something way better very soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GothicGyrl Posted March 16, 2008 Author Share Posted March 16, 2008 See the thing is, I am so not a people person (as if).. if some here think I am "mean" on a message board, do something stupid outside of one--the phrase "the customer is ALWAYS right" makes me puke. That said, I am really not as bad as I sound. I totally loved working there. The customers were cool as all get out, and for the most part, so were the people I worked with. I really did like working there despite the fact that we had over 350 cars last night (at an average of 4 people per car, yikes!). Yes, I am serious about tech school. Only one other job that I adored that I had before kids--nail technician. I was licensed at one time. But I fear with all the "oriental nail mills" (that's what they are called) popping up, it'll be hard to get a decent job, where I am taken seriously. I've won awards for my nail art! I don't want to be seen as just another one of "them". So, yeah--I'm going back to school--dunno if for teaching or Cosmetology. We are checking it out on Monday to see what they have to offer me. And two places I will never work in again--retail or fast food. I will die first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Lynx Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 When you say teaching ... what kind of teaching? I've got to say, if you're not a people person, you do NOT want to teach kids, at a public school. Not, not, not. Forget the kids - dealing with the parents and the administration will send you over the edge. If you've won awards for your nail art, can you take those awards to show to people in the more established nail places? Maybe someone with a good business established would love to hire someone who does fabulous nail art! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue G in PA Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 you are a very talented artist. I know you've been selling/trying to sell your art (probably having great success). In my neck of the woods, there is a tremendous market for face painters (I don't mean cheek art...I mean fantasty face and body art...there is a difference), hair art, nail art, henna tattoos, airbrush tatoos, etc. esp. among the pre-teen/teen set. You could get a few videos on face painting to learn how to paint on a different canvas and market yourself. Birthday parties, corporate events, retaurants, etc. eat that stuff up. Trust me...this is what I do for extra cash! Even if you're not a people person (and I think you are probably more of one than you think :)), you could be very successful. PM me if you want more info. on how to "break in" to the field...with your talent you could make tons! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whisperlily Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 I don't know what your educational background is, but honey, you've got STRENGTH. I know some perfect jobs for you. Social Services and Juvenile Probation Officer come to mind. They NEED people like you who will tell it like it is, and can see right through the pleas, whines and sob stories these people tell without losing sight of the goal yourself. Someone who can have "tough love" and still see that these people need help. (Another job that you might enjoy, but isn't necessarily well liked... is a collections officer. It'd give you the chance to be appreciated for a no-tolerance attitude, and the outlet might be therapeutic for you. :lol: ) My DH is a strong personality, and the Army is an excellent fit for him. No nonsense. But I don't think that's on your list of choices. ;) Sometimes it takes a while to find a good fit. I hope you find something soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracey in TX Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Sorry Toni. That reallys stinks :( How strange that it's post #911. TIme to call in the troops and get you better employment!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. Readsalot Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 She probably felt threatened (she could probably tell you are smarter than her) by you and used her longevity to get you fired. I am very sorry go had to deal with this though. It is so frustrating though. I tend to pop off at people, I call it expressing my opinions. This has gotten me in trouble more than once. I don't get along well with women generally. I think this goes back to deep seated issues with my mother (other time and place for that one) This makes me cherish my online friends all the more. I do better on line. I think you are a great lady and probably misunderstand often by those you meet face to face. I say this based on this post and others you have made in the past. Like I said we are in the same boat. Could you do work as a tutor? I find I am best with jobs where I work alone etc. I am considering tutoring as I have taught private music lessons in the past and it went well. You are very talented with your artwork. Could you teach a class at the library or give private art lesson? Please don't be too hard on yourself. We all know you very well and we think you are a gem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GothicGyrl Posted March 16, 2008 Author Share Posted March 16, 2008 Teaching-- math. Funnily enough, I can teach. But yes, DH and I talk about this alot, he puts up with so much crap that I keep telling him "I'd actually be the first teacher fired the day I start". ;) Sue--I've not sold a single thing. :( I've had "bites" but nothing beyond "ooo" and that's it. Sure, pm me what information you've got. I don't know how well that would work here, but I'll look in to it. Whisperlilly--you've got a lot of faith in me--those kinds of people do one of two things to me--make me cry or make me want to kick their arses. I am a huge sucker for a kid in pain (literal and otherwise). I know I could do it, but I'd honestly lose sight of it (and I'd try to fix the system while at it because I hate injustice)... I really am a conundrum in and of myself. I really want to stay home and do my art. But no one is biting. Of course, I probably need to make the page a bit more professional than what it is, but.... I don't know how else to get my work out there. Ahh, it's alright. I've bounced back from worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristyB in TN Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Ya' know, it is not a door slammed shut. You needed the push to go out and do something new. ;) Don't do the nail tech thing. There are way too many of them and I have read the fumes and particles in the air can be bad for you. I went to a party the other night and an aesthetician (I have no idea if I spelled that right or if that is even the correct word) did all kinds of neat stuff to our faces while we sat around and drank martinis. While I got a glycolic acid peel, she told me that she is having a blast doing this stuff. She works in a spa and does these parties to make extra money. She is going to do more classes and get her license so she can do more things like Botox and such. I paid $45 for a peel and microdermabrasion. Her materials don't cost that much so I know she made some money. There were a bunch of us there and everyone was writing her a check so it was successful. I have never been to a spa so it is obvious that she is hitting a market who would never be reached otherwise, kwim? Your personality would be good for stuff like that. You can have a party at my house! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GothicGyrl Posted March 16, 2008 Author Share Posted March 16, 2008 I am looking to see what's offered at the tech school in that general area of work. And I'm not worried about the fumes--it's a bit of a urban legend anyway since the products have come a LONG way since I first started. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 I went to a party the other night and an aesthetician (I have no idea if I spelled that right or if that is even the correct word) did all kinds of neat stuff to our faces while we sat around and drank martinis. I have a friend whose daughter did this. She went to school for a year or so...and opened her own shop and made a ton of money before closing it to be a SAHM. She even had enough socked away to live on for a year after baby came. Anyway, Toni, sorry you lost your job. Remember though that any job, career, whatever, has a certain amount of dealing with people. Sometimes I think you pride yourself on your 'in your face' no nonsense approach. So maybe take some time to reflect upon that and see how much you might need to change that for employment purposes. That doesn't mean you are 'selling yourself' out or anything. You can still be Toni. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 On the plus side, I'm checking out the tech college here and I can get a full ride scholarship for being "35, female, unable to hold a job down and dependant on others for living". How sad is that? ugh.... If one can get a scholarship for that, why am I making my kids learn to write timed five paragraph essays? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Hood Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Self employment. Could you hire yourself out as a math tutor? Contact the ps and make yourself known, with phone number. Leave a notice up at jr college if there is one near you. My neighobr is a math tutor and she is busy. When my ex left me, I put a notice up at a hospital with my ph # dangling off the bottom. I offered to clean houses for those busy nurses. I was about your age when I did that. I got so much work through referals and I didn't have a clue how to make a business out of it. But I not only learned how to run a business, I became proficient at cleaning. I became self supporting and got so much work that I could pick and choose who I wanted to clean for. I also had to hire someone because I couldn't do it all myself. And the best part, nobody was at home while I was I was there. I worked alone. I had keys to about 30 peoples homes and offices. My goal was to make them feel like all they had to do when they came home from work was to pick up a magazine and relax. I looked at toilets as dolllar signs. You can do what ever you want. Don't depend on someone else. House cleaning and tutoring both pay well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GothicGyrl Posted March 16, 2008 Author Share Posted March 16, 2008 If one can get a scholarship for that, why am I making my kids learn to write timed five paragraph essays? I'm not sure, but I guess they figure people like me are too stupid to get a "real job" so they offer these scholarships to help us out. And presumably, your "fiive timed paragraph" thing will teach your kids not to be as stupid as I've been. And the one thing I can't do is clean homes. I did that while I went to college for CSI and I was so disgusted at what I saw that dead bodies smelled like roses to me. I am not kidding. I have no beef cleaning toilets or anything like that, I am so not above doing so. It just grossed me out to a point where I was getting physically sick every day. I have thought about tutoring. I've got one lady who I do help, but she's sporadic at best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Atl Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Have you thought about starting homeschool art classes? There is a real need for classes like art, dance, music, drama, etc for hs'ers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 ((Toni)) I'm sorry, I know that you really liked that job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Toni, I'm sorry that you lost a job that you really enjoyed. You're not a loser, just keep plugging along. What's that saying? Anything that doesn't kill you just makes you stronger. Something like that. Keep on swimming, keep on swimming, keep on swimming, swimming, swimming. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GothicGyrl Posted March 16, 2008 Author Share Posted March 16, 2008 Have you thought about starting homeschool art classes? There is a real need for classes like art, dance, music, drama, etc for hs'ers. ( Iswear I am not pooing on all ideas given to me--I've seriously worn many hats in my lifetime).. I have thought of this. However, I have seen the damage one homeschool group did to one lady who was offering art classes at dirt cheap prices. She was an artist like me--very good, very liberal, a bit feministic, but she also did what's called stylistic nudes (no identifying features on the face, but a nude body with some other work around it--you'd have to try very hard to identfy something as male or female). Anyway, she started offering classes to our group and our illustrious leader found her website and started sending out "warnings" to everyone--she's a feminist, she does nudes, she could corrupt, etc... for halloween, she had done little bats on foam with the kids. The families there had fun, but the leader sent out an email proclaiming her 'evil' status because of this and families who never even stepped foot in her business (and thusly did not participate in the classes), got her kicked off the roster and she ended up losing her studio because she was counting on the income being brought in, to help with the rent. So I am a bit leery about offering ANYthing to homeschool groups outside of my bowling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Bear Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 I really want to stay home and do my art. But no one is biting. Hmmm. Perhaps this is the kick in the tuckus from the universe that will get you into galleries or so busy with orders that you can barely catch your breath? Have you seen The Artist's Way, Finding Your Own North Star, or The Joy Diet? I could describe myself in the quote I selected from you. But life is creeping in here -- too much in the way of legitimate needs from the littles. So I have a plan (rubbing hands together): I'm doing the reading and "groundwork" now so that in case I get near to being able to actually go for it, I'll have my head right there with me, my supplies lined up, a plan in place, and nothing can trip me up because I'm invincible!!! Not really, but it's what I can do right now. Well, read and create little opportunities to do art. Besides, Martha Beck, author of those last two is hilarious. And not in the way that makes you want to roll your eyes and smack her. You'd totally get her. Even if you take nothing else from those books, the laughter is priceless. Anyhoo, I feel ya, baby. Post if you read the books. I'd love to hear your opinion. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PariSarah Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Good hunting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 I need someone who can possibly hit the ground and bounce like a rubber ball. How are you with horses? There's rum at the end of the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GothicGyrl Posted March 16, 2008 Author Share Posted March 16, 2008 I need someone who can possibly hit the ground and bounce like a rubber ball. How are you with horses? There's rum at the end of the day. I'd hit the ground, but I know I wouldn't bounce..but with copius amounts of rum, the pain wouldn't exist :) And I love horses.. but I think you are too far away. I'd love to work stables. Mama Bear, I'll see what I can do about those books. I'm not to big on "you can do it!" type books.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mekanamom Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 I'm not sure, but I guess they figure people like me are too stupid to get a "real job" so they offer these scholarships to help us out. And presumably, your "fiive timed paragraph" thing will teach your kids not to be as stupid as I've been. I'm so sorry that little old lady lost you your job Toni! Don't be too hard on yourself... you are anything but stupid and you know it. ;) It's been my observation that highly intelligent people often get into trouble for calling things out as they are. I can't say I'm one of those people, but let me tell ya, I'm surrounded by them. Do take the scholarship. Can you take a few different classes in different fields to get a feel for what you'd like to do next? If nothing else comes of it, you could make more contacts for your art. I followed a link to your site a while back and you are talented!! You know that too. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needleroozer Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Hmmm. Perhaps this is the kick in the tuckus from the universe that will get you into galleries or so busy with orders that you can barely catch your breath? Toni, I have to say I agree with Mama Bear. I am basically in your situation. My dh is constantly traveling with this new job, but not making as much money as he was before. We could really use the extra income. In my location, I priced out what it would be like to work a $10 to $12. an hour job 20 to 30 hours a week, as compared to if I sold 2 to 3 pieces of art to total $500. to $1000. a month. Turns out I would have to work more like 45 to 50 hours a week at those low wages to make working out of the home worth it. It is much more cost effective to make and sell the art. My kids are older now, mostly working by themselves, and I have time to be in the studio. My inner stories are what's really working against me, though. I procrastinate, and tell myself all sorts of reasons why it won't work, and then I make myself feel guilty for not being a coffee barista and bringing in at least a little bit of money instead of spending money on art supplies and then not making anything. Sigh. I am my own worst enemy. I think you are very talented, and could indeed make some money at your art, but (for both of us) it is going to take hard work (right now it is marketing that we both need), and you may not make money at first- but I think the amount of money you COULD make, doing something that you LOVE could be very worth the effort. Ok, talking to you is like a kick in the butt for myself. I am really sabotaging myself by not working daily. Let's go for it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doran Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 I'll start by saying that I'm really sorry. It stinks when life doles out things that seem entirely unfair, and it's pretty easy to go to a place of feeling like a loser because of it. Believe me, I'm my own worst critic and can easily talk myself into believing that I'm not good at anything. Now that I've explained what I hope will show a basic understanding of where you are in all this, I'd like to offer an observation in hope that it will not be viewed as more criticism. From the outside looking in, it appears that you almost EXPECT this kind of thing to happen....and when it does, you simply go, "See, what did I tell you?" You fall easily into your victim role and assume that no amount of trying is going to change things. It reminds me of the junior high years when the boys would say, "You don't want to dance with me do you?" Ummm. Nah, you're right. I don't want to dance with you. I understand this is probably a result of being knocked down over and over. It's incredibly difficult to stay upbeat, to keep hoping and believing. But, it is my opinion that you must try to tell yourself a new story. Not the one that ends in the same old dead end, but the one that ends with Toni being successful, getting what she wants, having her dreams come true. The books Mama Bear suggested are self help books, and the authors do hope to help you come to the belief that you can "do it". I'm wondering why you're opposed to such books? Do you not want anyone to tell you you can do it because you're better at the story where Toni ends up the loser? Do you not want anyone to tell you to do anything because you have to come to those decisions all on your own? I'm not asking these questions to be harsh, I'm just trying to point out that these responses you have don't leave you much room for change. The thing about the "You can do it" books is that they set you (hopefully) on a path that diverges from the one that causes you to feel like a failure. They help you explore what it is that truly makes you tick and then, hopefully, inspire you to follow that path instead of the one that leaves you feeling like you do now. Toni, there is so much talent in you. I hope you know that. I hope your tendency to say "I don't care what you think." is real and not a mask to hide bigger insecurities or vulnerability. I've seen your work, Toni. I know you've got talent. If that's what makes you happy, then don't pursue something else just to get a job. Or get a job that still leaves you time and energy to follow your artistic pursuits. Stick to your dreams. And, don't let the old stories you tell yourself be your guidebook any longer. I'm probably stepping in a pile here, to offer this kind of advice. What you may really want, and maybe what you really need, is just unadulterated sympathy. Plus, I only know the Toni that I get to see here. So, if none of this resonates with you, then that's fair. I mean no ill. But, believe me when I'm saying I'm working on the same stuff right now. I'd like to see you succeed! ((((Toni)))) Doran Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen sn Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Honey, this is just the opportunity you needed for a new career! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Alright, I'm going out on a limb here. I don't generally love self-help books, either, not because I don't want help, but because of the way that they are written, generally speaking. (I know that's redundant, but I don't want to step on any toes!) I'm also not a people-person. I'm quiet enough that I can usually get by, but a very service-oriented job gets to me quick. Teaching is a little different, sure, but still not fun. And, yeah, if they could have fired a ps teacher, I think at least my supervisor would have liked to fired me. (Why? My TAKS scores were awesome, etc. I have no idea. I'm convinced it's a personality thing.) Ok, my point. I've studied giftedness in adults (a little) & have seen very similar life-outcomes to what you're talking about. It's a fine line between being wildly successful & practically homeless for this group of people because they don't jive well w/ societal norms, etc. I found a coffee table book a few yrs ago that was something like "Your child might be gifted if..." and I flipped through it while waiting for dh on his lunch break. I cried there in the store. I'd been in gt classes growing up, but no one had ever told me what that meant. Suddenly, so much was explained. And knowing what the problems/potential problems were helped. A lot. I actually finished college, something I never thought I'd do. (I thought I was too flaky!) Then I went on to do my MA, & I did it the normal way. In 2 yrs w/ good grades. I don't know if that kind of info would help, but different as we seem from our posts, in this one, I feel like I really know you. I've only ever found one book that talks about giftedness in adults, & I'm linking it for you, but it's not written for kids like the first one I read.(I have a short attention span, lol!) http://www.amazon.com/Gifted-Grownups-Blessings-Extraordinary-Potential/dp/0471295809/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1205699747&sr=8-2 Dh read this book w/ me when I got it from the library, & his initial reaction was quite dramatic, too. Actually, I had to take it away from him because it was almost paralyzing. But before that, he'd never believed that he was gifted. I think recognizing that helps. Ok, I've been interrupted by the dc like 4 times, so I'm not sure at this point that I've said anything coherent. I'll try to reread it & check back later. In the mean time, I'm really sorry you lost your job. I hope it leads to something better in the end! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beansprouts Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 you are a very talented artist. I know you've been selling/trying to sell your art (probably having great success). In my neck of the woods, there is a tremendous market for face painters (I don't mean cheek art...I mean fantasty face and body art...there is a difference), hair art, nail art, henna tattoos, airbrush tatoos, etc. Haven't read the rest of the thread yet and probably by now this is either redundant or irrelevant - but I think she has some good ideas. I was also wondering if you had considered tattoo art. (Yes, this CC homeschooling mama has a tattoo - shh! Don't tell my Baptist friends! My nonexistant denim jumper hides it most of the time anyways...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beansprouts Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 I'm not sure, but I guess they figure people like me are too stupid to get a "real job" so they offer these scholarships to help us out. And presumably, your "fiive timed paragraph" thing will teach your kids not to be as stupid as I've been. Toni, you are not stupid! Quite the opposite, in fact... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antonia Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Sorry about your job. Take that scholarship and d*mn the reason! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mekanamom Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Ok, my point. I've studied giftedness in adults (a little) & have seen very similar life-outcomes to what you're talking about. It's a fine line between being wildly successful & practically homeless for this group of people because they don't jive well w/ societal norms, etc. :iagree: Yes, that's just what I meant to say above. I've also seen this type situation occur frequently. (Not to me, personally. I'm a Watson surrounded by Sherlocks. It's always been that way.) I wish I had something more constructive to say. Give the book a try!! I'm so glad you mentioned it, Aubrey. I followed the link and can see it coming in handy around here, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GothicGyrl Posted March 16, 2008 Author Share Posted March 16, 2008 beanie--tattoo art is a tricky thing. Most tattooists do their own art or they do commissions(like all 5 of mine, all but one was hand drawn by me and they don't get to keep the originals), most tattoo art is canned though(from a national tattoo book). Doran I understand this is probably a result of being knocked down over and over. It's incredibly difficult to stay upbeat, to keep hoping and believing. But, it is my opinion that you must try to tell yourself a new story. Not the one that ends in the same old dead end, but the one that ends with Toni being successful, getting what she wants, having her dreams come true. I understand what you are saying so please don't think I'm arguing back with you, but it isn't so much a "victim" role as it is just a "I'm sick of doing what I'm told to do and getting it kicked back in my face". Yeah I am a little pissy over it and it is a "see, what'd I tell you" as well. But I really DO try not to let it happen. I take the blame for a lot of things in my work history--immaturity, lack of compassion, and a whole lot of "the customer is not always right" bit. I just do not believe this. But when I worked at WinnDixie, I busted my rump for them, even re-applied for the job position I wanted (the one I was training for) and got turned down because "they couldn't justify paying me" what I was worth (I had almost 4 months of managerial training at a cashiers salary because I was the only one who said "sure" when they needed the help. So when I was told I'd have to fight for the position permanently, I went in guns ablazing and was flat out told that my training worked against me). So it is a lot of "I'm so sick of this" bit. This time, however, was sudden and I mean "whoa when why how?" It just happened and it hit me. And I don't like self-help books for the same reason I don't like parenting books--it's a whole lot of "LOOK WHAT I DID!" and "you are a failure if it doesn't work". And I just don't need to hear that. I already know my weaknesses and what I stink at. I also know my strengths. And that's earned me a "don't hire" status as well. Every single self help book, resume book, headhunter, tells you to "play on your strengths". And when I go in telling them I CAN do a computer, try me (but much nicer), I've been thrown on the floor with zero training on their registers and I've picked it up each and every time, one time being faster and more efficient than some who had been there for a long time (Home Depot) and was told they couldn't hire me because there were some who had built animosity towards me because of my skills. They were jealous and I don't get the job? WHAT?? Do you know how depressing it is to hear that? This isn't ego talking, but I can seriously learn any computer based register system and regular register system inside of two hours. I've proven this when asked to prove it. And I don't get jobs because of it. So yeah, I am a bit pissy over it. Aubrey---I've never been tested or told I was gifted. I suspect I have a bit adult onset ADD, but I deal with that. ;) My only claim to "giftedness" was taking the ASVAB (military entrance exam) and being the only one out of 200 people to pass with a perfect score. But the military wouldn't take me because I was a single mom then and they wanted me to give up custody of my DD to my mom. So I can't even say if I am gifted. Just ornery and pig headed. ;) Anyway, off to clean my desk. I hope. It's a mess. **I just read the amazon reviews for that book Aubrey, and this is SO me: "and "independents," inner-directed, creative intellectuals who challenge authority." Yep, that's what I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Bay Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Are you also a sucker for incarcerated felons? If not, the corrections officer idea WhisperLilly suggested could work. But, on the other hand, the idea situation, outside of selling your art, would be to teach art classes if you could somehow advertise them to more liberal homeschoolers. Or you could design some course to sell and advertise through more liberal homeschool magazines. Okay, that last one would take start up capital. Are your girls doing any part time jobs? Could they do that and still do whatever else they have to do for learning, etc? Just a thought. Too bad you can't get a job as a debater. Someone to take the other side of things. As for the schooling, you're not stupid, but were you saying that those who give the scholarships assume so? Do you care if they do? Would you want it? Is there something you'd like to learn? You need a job where you don't have to live with the "the customer is always right" slogan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GothicGyrl Posted March 16, 2008 Author Share Posted March 16, 2008 You need a job where you don't have to live with the "the customer is always right" slogan. The Morgue. Dead people don't talk back ;) And believe me, I've inquired about it. Without a Mortuary Degree, apprenticeships don't happen anymore. My girls aren't old enough to work and even if they were, that money is theirs. And I've thought of the art curriculum as well, which is always in the back of my mind. Something for us secular schoolers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soph the vet Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Hey, Toni, sorry about your job. How about going to the tech college for Veterinary Tech? Anyone who can handle a pitbull probably can handle anything else that comes into the clinic.:001_unsure: There's something new every day, never a dull moment and the pay is decent, not as good as human nurses, but competitive with other technical jobs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GothicGyrl Posted March 16, 2008 Author Share Posted March 16, 2008 Hey, Toni, sorry about your job.How about going to the tech college for Veterinary Tech? Anyone who can handle a pitbull probably can handle anything else that comes into the clinic.:001_unsure: There's something new every day, never a dull moment and the pay is decent, not as good as human nurses, but competitive with other technical jobs. I've considered that, vet tech. But for some reason pus filled ears oozing nasty bloody yellow stuff squicks me out (my poor baxter lost his ear due to--well, I told you)... which is odd considering I can handle maggot filled, bloated and rotting corpses.. go figure.. :) I'm on the MTI site now check out what they have to offer to see what appeals to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca in GA Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Maybe this will encourage you: One of my brothers took a long, long time to find his way and nothing panned out for him. Navy, college, retail, fast food, retail again, job after job after job and nothing stuck. About three years ago when he was nearly 40, someone finally took a chance on him, without degrees or tons of experience, and hired him for computer tech work. He amazed everyone at the work he did and how fulfilled he became. He aced all his training classes and started advancing, earning raises about every six months. His co-workers thought the world of him -- I think it was because he worked like a dog but also because he finally had found a place where he could fit in. Those of us who loved him kept waiting for the other shoe to fall, but it never did. It NEVER did. I hope the same for you, that you find your place and blossom into what you were born to be. Good luck! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Bay Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 The Morgue. Dead people don't talk back ;) And believe me, I've inquired about it. Without a Mortuary Degree, apprenticeships don't happen anymore. My girls aren't old enough to work and even if they were, that money is theirs. And I've thought of the art curriculum as well, which is always in the back of my mind. Something for us secular schoolers. I would have considered that your girls' money would be theirs, but maybe they might start covering some of their personal needs. Just a thought, anyway. Actually, the art teaching and curricula is more what I was thinking, if you can find the right niche. There's a homeschool group around here for everyone, a loose one with no meetings. It's now a Yahoo group and anyone with a class or event can post it. Nadia on these boards was one of the founders before she up and moved to NH. There were a couple of women who started it, but they brought it up at a science class and took a list of names of people who would like to join, so it had a base right away. Anyway, I'm hard pressed to think of anything you'd LOVE to do that would pay right away, so wanted to throw out some ideas. I don't know if you'd want to do mortuary work, anyway, because of how tragically some people pass away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Bear Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 I'm not to big on "you can do it!" type books.. Chuckle. Consider these "high end" you can do it type books. :D:D:D My favorite part about Martha Beck is that you're just reading along, thinking, "Wow. That makes sense!" And blammo! She nails it with funny (even snarky) analogies, mostly drawn right from her life. I'd love to know what you're up to if you decide to go this route -- art blogging, stuff for sale, etc. It'll be vicarious tuckus kicking -- for my tuckus. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Aubrey---I've never been tested or told I was gifted. I suspect I have a bit adult onset ADD, but I deal with that. Dh thought the same thing. Finally, after reading the book, I insisted that he be tested. Not ADD. Actually, though, they say ADD does occur more frequently in the gifted for some reason. I suspect that it's just a case of the symptoms looking similar. Part of my point, Toni, is that in the midst of this kind of frustration, I have a tendency to pursue something out of frustration/anger or to prove that I can. It's very satisfying for a short time, but then I end up in the same situation. I guess I'm saying that the emotional response to the situation has to be treated separately from the practical side of the problem. Otherwise, the situation seems to perpetuate itself. Iow, I kept putting myself in the same kinds of situations & getting the same results. If possible, try to take some time to get yourself centered. Remember (or find) what's important to you. THEN figure out how to make $. As far as art goes, I wonder if there are alternatives you could pursue to fill in the gaps until you can sell something. I painted a sign for a local sandwich shop a few mos ago for about $500. Odd jobs, but a) less interaction w/ people & b) doing something closer to what you love. GL. ((Toni)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GothicGyrl Posted March 17, 2008 Author Share Posted March 17, 2008 If possible, try to take some time to get yourself centered. Remember (or find) what's important to you. THEN figure out how to make $. This is the problem--I haven't got the time to take. I've seriously got to be working at least two days a week. We aren't hurting or anything and we can certainly do it without me working, but I've got to do something, I cannot stay in this house all the time. I go visit the college tomorrow. Maybe I can get started now instead of waiting until I graduate oldest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Bay Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 This is the problem--I haven't got the time to take. I've seriously got to be working at least two days a week. We aren't hurting or anything and we can certainly do it without me working, but I've got to do something, I cannot stay in this house all the time. I go visit the college tomorrow. Maybe I can get started now instead of waiting until I graduate oldest. Yes, go to school! But see if you can't work on that curriculum or some art classes, too. I was thinking it was for financial reasons, but if you need to get out, just get out and do something new. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GothicGyrl Posted March 17, 2008 Author Share Posted March 17, 2008 It is for both financial and otherwise. I can convince DH that this cycle is not going to end until I get properlly schooled (hahah) and a decent job I LIKE and I WANT. By the time I finish, one will be graduated and one ready for high school, for which we've already decided she'd go to Daddy's school (already got her set up). And the fact that I can get this scholarship... that is what makes it sweeter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maria from IN Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Get thee to a personality career test, girl! Really. It will help you figure out what you'd like to do. There are free sites like http://similarminds.com/career.html and http://www.typefocus.com/ that can help, and there is the Kiersey Temperament Sorter that you would have to pay for, but they are generally pretty accurate and can give you some interesting ideas. Then you can go out and get that free ride, :auto: and milk it for all it's worth! :thumbup1: Maria, who went back to school at 34 and just found out she's going to graduate school--something she never thought she'd do--to become a licensed mental health counselor....which was something she really didn't think she'd have the patience to do.... ...who tends to ramble.:blush5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GothicGyrl Posted March 17, 2008 Author Share Posted March 17, 2008 From your first link: Extroversion |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90% Emotional Stability ||||||||||||||| 43% Orderliness ||||||||||||||| 46% Altruism ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Inquisitiveness |||||||||||||||||| 56% You are an Inspirer, possible professions include - conference planner, speech pathologist, HR development trainer, ombudsman, clergy, journalist, newscaster, career counselor, housing director, character actor, marketing consultant, musician/composer, artist, information-graphics designer, human resource manager, merchandise planner, advertising account manager, dietitian/nutritionist, speech pathologist, massage therapist, editor/art director. And I've narrowed it down to either a Massuesse or MedTech with emphasis on Phlebotomy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Huge, huge hugs!!!!!! This has not been your week. Please know that I am saying a prayer for you to find a job right now!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 I don't know what your educational background is, but honey, you've got STRENGTH. I know some perfect jobs for you. Social Services and Juvenile Probation Officer come to mind. They NEED people like you who will tell it like it is, and can see right through the pleas, whines and sob stories these people tell without losing sight of the goal yourself. Someone who can have "tough love" and still see that these people need help. (Another job that you might enjoy, but isn't necessarily well liked... is a collections officer. It'd give you the chance to be appreciated for a no-tolerance attitude, and the outlet might be therapeutic for you. :lol: ) My DH is a strong personality, and the Army is an excellent fit for him. No nonsense. But I don't think that's on your list of choices. ;) Sometimes it takes a while to find a good fit. I hope you find something soon. Good advice, Whisperlily Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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