Have people become ruder, more inconsiderate?

[gingersmom]

I have had a day where I have just been picked on by total strangers for no reason. It began at 7am at the pool!

 

Is it the economy that has people on edge? Have people just become meaner and I have been so busy homeschooling that I did not notice?

 

I really don't get it. There is a huge bullying issue in our elementary, middle and high school. I was surprised but after today I actually am not. I think some of the people who were so obviously rude to me today must be parents and are passing down their behavior to their children.

 

I think I need to move to a remote island.

[Sputterduck]

I would suggest the Aran Islands. I don't think they take outsiders though.

 

There is literally no crime. If you commit a crime they kick you off the island, so nobody does anything. Great system. :)

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

Don't make it Rhode Island. My daughter had never seen so many rude people in her life till she moved there. I don't get it. It looks like a gorgeous place to live, but many of her neighbors regularly cuss each other out and call the police on each other for plain old pettiness.

[Tree House Academy]

The POOL? Where do you live girl? It was a high of 52 here today....but I digress.

 

Maybe you should post what they did/said - I am HOPING adults were NOT rude to you and you just took it the wrong way. Here's hoping! :(

[Daisy]

I think it has gotten worse but I wouldn't put the blame on the economy.

 

I think we've just finally reached a point where lack of respect and rudeness is mainstream instead of deviant. After all when even a member of congress can scream out, "You lie," you know you have major problems with disrespect and rudeness in this society.

 

From celebrities to politicians, school children to teenagers, old folks to soccer moms, it is everywhere. It makes me sad and frustrated.

[Brigitte]

I lived in CT most of my life. I now live in NY. I was used to it, but really people in CT were far ruder than in NY. When I drive from NY through Mass, then through CT the difference of attitude on the road is palpable. People in CT are the worst on the road. They will tail you for the sake of tailing you. In NY at least they just pass you out. Mass is somewhere in between.

 

I am so glad to hear someone else say this. When we lived in CT we were amazed how people tailgated, even the old people tailgated. We would go to our place in RI and not have that problem. Sometimes you would be tailgated there and be shocked, but then look at the license plates and they were from CT!

 

Yesterday I was on the interstate in VA passing a tractor trailer at 75 mph and I was being tailgated. When I got to the right lane I watched that car pass me. Sure enough, and old man driving a car with CT license plates! :lol:

I called dh to tell him.

 

:auto:

[gingersmom]

The POOL? Where do you live girl? It was a high of 52 here today....but I digress.

 

Maybe you should post what they did/said - I am HOPING adults were NOT rude to you and you just took it the wrong way. Here's hoping! :(

 

Its an indoor pool.

 

Here is what happened-

 

There is an adult swim team (mostly women, 2 men in their 40's). They have scheduled swim practices mon, wed, fri. In between their is scheduled lap swimming, etc.

 

At 7am on Sunday is a lap swim. It gets individual swimmers swimming laps. The adult swim team decided to show at 7am and take up every lane of the pool.

 

I was in the pool before them so one of their members had to share a lane with me.

 

From 7-7:30 they gave me dirty looks (as if what was she doing there??). At 7:30 another person arrived and they insisted this women could not swim in a lane with them. What? She could only swim in my lane. The same with the next person that showed a minute later. Five minutes later 3 more swimmers showed.

 

They were actually arguing with this women that she could not get in the pool with them and were pointing at me. Luckily I am not the shy type so I told them what I thought of their stupid plan (plus pointing out its a public pool with lap swimming). Finally the life guard intervened.

 

They still were giving me dirty looks 30 minutes later. Whatever.

 

Then I go to Weight Watchers and am told I can't stay for the meeting. Don't ask!!! I did land staying.

 

Then I go to Costco and I'm waiting for a space with my blinker on. This women (mid 70's), pulls up on the other side and is giving me looks like she is taking this space. I got the space (and I didn't even beat up any old ladies) :001_smile:

 

Then my daughter is pushing the cart through Costco and goes to me "I can't take it anymore. People are so rude. They are shoving my cart out of the way while I am pushing it. Am I invisible?".

 

I told my kids Mommy is not having the best day, I am skipping dinner and getting into bed at 5pm. Tomorrow just has to be better.

[ChrisN in NY]

I lived in CT most of my life. I now live in NY. I was used to it, but really people in CT were far ruder than in NY. When I drive from NY through Mass, then through CT the difference of attitude on the road is palpable. People in CT are the worst on the road. They will tail you for the sake of tailing you. In NY at least they just pass you out. Mass is somewhere in between.

 

My dh drives tractor-trailer and has been all over the country. He says the took the worst drivers from NY and NJ and gave them a house and a job in CT. :tongue_smilie:

[Mad Jenny Flint]

I was cursed out in an Aldi parking lot after putting up my groceries in my van by a woman who gave me ugly looks the whole time I was checking out, for no reason I could find... she told me in the parking lot that I had a lot of nerve jumping the line (which, if I did, I was *completely* unaware of it), that I was a stupid b*tch, and when I told her she was being very ugly to me and commented on her level of anger, she said f- you before speeding away. I have no doubt that if she had had a gun she would have dropped me. I don't know when I have experienced that kind of venom.

[PineFarmMom]

Hmmm, ds and his friend were walking on the road today and our dog was following. Our dog ran into the woods and got shot because he was too near someone's fence where their chickens were. Ds and his friend ran to ask what happened, then discovered they had shot our small dog in the leg. The woman just said "That wouldn't have happened if you'd kept a handle on him." To a kid!! I get the whole protect your chickens thing, really I do. I just can't imagine grabbing my gun, Deliverence style, and shooting into the woods in the middle of the day, hitting a child's dog and then rudely basically telling him to get over it! :glare: I swear we live in hickville!! Uncle Jed, grandma and the gang have a shack near here I'm certain!

[NorthwestMom]

I really truly believe that people are more tense and irritable now (fall 2009) than I recall before in my adult life. Everyone just seems stretched to their limit, and anger, grief, and anxiety are simmering just below the surface. If you make an innocent mistake people just freak.

[Mommy22alyns]

Well, IMO the South's vaunted reputation for friendliness is way overblown. I noticed a marked decline in politeness and general kindness after 9/11/01. Things certainly haven't gotten any better. And here in a small town it's even worse because people stick together in little cliques and don't talk to you if you don't go to "charch." :glare:

[Sputterduck]

"charch."

 

 

:lol:

[Ellie]

No, the economy is not to blame for people's bad behavior. There are always badly behaved people, regardless of how good or bad the economy is. You just got more than your fair share today.

[Cera]

I was called a b*tch by a 5 year old in the fun house at our local fair yesterday. He was racing through with his siblings (friends? they were all with one adult) and jumped over a railing knocking my 3 year old down. I ignored it the first time, gave him the mom look the second time but the third time was just too much. I turned around and very sternly told him to wait. He tried to push past anyway, I informed him he WOULD be waiting his turn and he started spewing expletives culminating in a "you b*tch."

 

My 5 year old was horrified and was still talking about the mean kid from the fair at bedtime last night.

[LauraGB]

Then my daughter is pushing the cart through Costco and goes to me "I can't take it anymore. People are so rude. They are shoving my cart out of the way while I am pushing it. Am I invisible?".

 

:glare: Me too! All. The. Time. I detest going to the grocery store now because it happens all the way through the store. I stay to the right. I park my cart out of the way and am attentive enough to move it out of the way if someone comes along and needs something behind it. But the people while I'm driving that thing! They come out of nowhere and push it, or the cell-phone talkers walk aimlessly, criss-crossing in front of us, or better yet, walk in front of me...and stop! I've got an ankle-taker-outer here, people! Good grief.

 

Although, I must say, I did try a different grocery store a few weeks ago, and a lady gave me her $1 off milk coupon because she saw me take the gallon out of the cooler and she had one coupon more than she needed. And on the same shopping trip, the guy behind me offered to let me use his discount store card so I would get the sale prices because I didn't have mine with me. :) I'd shop there more often, but most of thier prices are really inflated.

[swellmomma]

I have noticed an over abundance of rudeness is general, though it certainly makes the really kind polite people stand out all the more. I had a similar experience of people pushing my cart the last time I was in Costco. I was pushing 1 filled with groceries and the baby, while pulling the one dd was "pushing" also filled with groceries. People would shove one aside and try to push through between the 2 of us instead of waiting the extra 10 seconds for us to get clear of where they wanted. Fortunately as we were leaving this husband and wife came rushing up to us, she pushed dd's cart for me out to my cart and he took their cart to their car. It was extremely helpful and certain took teh edge off my frustration with the rest of the idiot shoppers.

 

We are running away to an island though, and from what I have heard they have the friendliest folks around. I can't wait.

[AuntPol]

I was thinking of how I get so tired of people blocking the aisles when I am trying to get through. Really, I don't mind waiting a minute so you can put something in your cart but people will just sit there and block the aisles so they can talk (on the phone, to their kids, etc). However, to push it while someone is pushing it is rude.

[Blessedfamily]

Well, IMO the South's vaunted reputation for friendliness is way overblown. I noticed a marked decline in politeness and general kindness after 9/11/01. Things certainly haven't gotten any better. And here in a small town it's even worse because people stick together in little cliques and don't talk to you if you don't go to "charch." :glare:

 

:lol::lol: I'm sorry, but dat's funny.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I've been known to use my "mommy voice" on strangers - "No, you may not push me out of the way." "No, you may not talk to me that way. You need to use your manners." I am not shouting or agitated but I am firm. And many people actually respond.

 

The ones who don't are the ones who are totally out of control. I had one man come screaming after me at the aquarium, shouting, "I am not out of control!" when I told him he needed to get himself under control. He then stopped, embarrassed, because I think it finally hit him that yes, he really was out of control.

[Momling]

I lived in CT most of my life. I now live in NY. I was used to it, but really people in CT were far ruder than in NY. When I drive from NY through Mass, then through CT the difference of attitude on the road is palpable. People in CT are the worst on the road. They will tail you for the sake of tailing you. In NY at least they just pass you out. Mass is somewhere in between.

 

:iagree: Maybe those strangers were just from Connecticut?

 

We just moved from CT to OR and the difference is just amazing... I really found there was a pervasive culture of aggression in CT that is completely absent here in the pacific northwest.

[Audrey]

:glare: Me too! All. The. Time. I detest going to the grocery store now because it happens all the way through the store. I stay to the right. I park my cart out of the way and am attentive enough to move it out of the way if someone comes along and needs something behind it. But the people while I'm driving that thing! They come out of nowhere and push it, or the cell-phone talkers walk aimlessly, criss-crossing in front of us, or better yet, walk in front of me...and stop! I've got an ankle-taker-outer here, people! Good grief.

 

Although, I must say, I did try a different grocery store a few weeks ago, and a lady gave me her $1 off milk coupon because she saw me take the gallon out of the cooler and she had one coupon more than she needed. And on the same shopping trip, the guy behind me offered to let me use his discount store card so I would get the sale prices because I didn't have mine with me. :) I'd shop there more often, but most of thier prices are really inflated.

 

 

Argh! I hate grocery shopping for this reason! I try to keep out of people's way, but always get cut off and rammed from behind by other people. After a quick trip while I was in one particular Big Town, I mentioned this to my colleague there. I said, "even if I say excuse me or sorry, I still get told off in Russian or Low German!" She told me me how to say something in Low German that kind of means "back off and watch your manners." I made her spell it for me phonetically on my BlackBerry. I only ever used it once, but the man looked at me very apologetically and red-faced, so I guess it worked. Now if I could just find an equivalent phrase in Russian.

[Miss Sherry]

Yes, I have been thinking the same thing. I believe that it seems people are ruder now. Recently I have taken some college classes and I am appalled at how mean and rude the students are to each other. The rude one's include people in their 30's, 40's, and 50's, not just younger people. The professors can be shockingly rude too.What's worse is, it seemed like they were proud of how rude and mean they were. I just withdrew from a course and I feel like I escaped a nightmare of rude, mean people.

[Elizabeth Conley]

I really sympathize with you. I had the same problem when my husband retired from the Marines and I settled in Norfolk VA.

 

There are a lot of good segments of our community, and just as much public nastiness and bad manners as everywhere else.

 

It's taken me nearly a decade since we moved here to get tough, but about a year ago I became a snob.

 

I realized I was really being dragged down by all the rudeness and nastiness. It was rubbing off on me, and I didn't even like myself any more.

 

I cut every rude person and organization dominated by nastiness out of my life. I shopped only where people where the staff and patrons were pleasant. I stopped my pathetic, servile efforts to get the nasty church folks to "like me", and joined a congregation full of people who minded their manners. When people tail-gated me, I pulled over and let them by. I cultivated the polite people I knew, I spent my time and energy on those organizations where common decency was indeed common.

 

On the rare occasions when I encounter nastiness, I say "Why bless your lil' heart!", smile sweetly and move on. If someone asks me about the incident, in an effort to stir up some drama, I simply state that the offender "Is under a tremendous amount of stress." "The poor dear simply can't help it."

 

 

Life has improved. Yep, I'm a snob now, but I don't miss the trash a bit.

[LaxMom]

I think it has gotten worse but I wouldn't put the blame on the economy.

 

I think we've just finally reached a point where lack of respect and rudeness is mainstream instead of deviant. After all when even a member of congress can scream out, "You lie," you know you have major problems with disrespect and rudeness in this society.

 

From celebrities to politicians, school children to teenagers, old folks to soccer moms, it is everywhere. It makes me sad and frustrated.

:iagree: especially the "sad and frustrated" part.

[Dooley]

When the most popular shows are the ones where people regularly melt down and freak out at each other - reality shows - and are encouraged to do it, is it no wonder people feel less compelled to behave in real life?

 

I recently had my neighbor, who age-wise could be my daughter, come over hear and tell me off about our dogs who supposedly are constantly pooping and peeing in their yard, killing their plants. I wont even get into how this is complete nonsense, but she was perfectly willing to throw a neighbor (and we have had a good relationship) straight to the curb in a moments notice. And to stand in my home and yell at me. Incredible. My kids were appalled.

 

I have noticed a rampant decline in manners over the last 10 years or so.

[lgm]

I agree that people have become ruder in some areas. I live in an area of NY where the city folks are moving to..., the philosophy of "I got mine" at someone else's expense is rampant. My eyes were opened in youth instructional community sports, as I watched parents maneuver to cut possible competitors to theirs out. Elementary school was just as hilarous as families would size up the competition and clique up against the kids that were deemed shoe-ins for the middle school honors slots. The mall is beyond belief - I've noticed that I'm declared a non-person and literally taken as invisible by certain groups, so I have shifted to a mall 30 minutes farther away where tolerance is practiced and I don't have to be the 'right' obvious heritage to get service or to avoid being run over.

 

We visited the Portland Oregon area this summer. The difference at the grocery store was so amazing that my kids now refuse to shop with me here. I just tell them that the folks here are from generational city poverty and truly beleive that they don't have enough and they'll never figure out how to have enough. Until they do, we won't see civilized behavior.

 

I will always be mystified though, why a member of a group that promotes awareness of historical persecution based on intolerance &/or greed needs to ram children and old women with a shopping cart. I wonder that we are going to have a civil war to atone for past injustices, perceived or real. In the meantime, I like that idea of learning a few phrases in the applicable language, since I can't always drive an hour away to shop in peace.

Edited November 2, 2009 by lgm