Melinda Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 So, I have a question... If you were okay financially, but had the opportunity for a better-paying job, would you take it? This would involve: -a cross-country move to an area where you don't know anyone from an area where DH's family is 20 min away. -a big pay increase, including an older, but huge inherited house on a couple acres on the water that is completely paid off -living in a city where the sun doesn't like to come out often -having to disclose all personal finances yearly. They would be a matter of public record due to a financial disclosure statement. -employment through a federal agency, so existing federal employment benefits and retirement would not be affected Taking all that into consideration, would you do it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 It would be up to him. I feel like he has to make the major decisions about his own career. If I were really opposed to the personal life stuff (the move, the home, etc) he wouldn't want to do it. But if the job part appealed to him and the location and home part were okay with me, the financial disclosure part would not be a deal breaker for me if it weren't a deal breaker for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 I was used to everyone knowing what my family made. The superintendent pay is published yearly and the teacher pay is based off of a set formula. So, that wouldn't be a deal breaker. Only you can decide if your personal reasons are weighed towards moving or not moving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anotherclassicmom Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Are you talking financial disclosure as in salary? Or as in personal household budget, how much you spend and where on personal things like food, entertainment, and such?? If it was just income, I wouldn't care too much. Of course I'm always up for adventure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherri in MI Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 The paid off house is a big plus in favor of the move. Cross-country to someplace where you don't know anyone and currently have family nearby is a negative in my opinion. I am speaking as someone who has moved 21 times and probably has at least one move left if her future. It's hard to make new friends. I usually have no problem meeting people at activities and events and such. It just getting from acquaintence to friend that is difficult. Especially in an established area or small town where many of the folks have known each other all their lives and everyone has extended family nearby. The holidays are so difficult for the 3 of us, because everyone has family to go to. We can't invite anyone over - they are busy and no one thinks to invite us. So that is something to consider. However, your children are young enough that your new town could easily become their "home". It should be fairly easy for them to adjust. Don't forget to think about yourself and spouse too though. Is there an active homeschool group? If you're a person of faith, are there churches you might feel at home with in the area? The financial disclosure is unfamiliar to me, but would make me uncomfortable. But that varies from one individual to another. Without a crystal ball, it's hard to tell. Weighing pros and cons helps, but what you really want to know is, I think "Will my family be happy if we do this?" Sometimes what seems negative can turn out to be a great thing and on the flip side a seemingly good decision can turn out badly. Good luck to you! Let us know what you decide! Blessings, Sherri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda Posted July 2, 2009 Author Share Posted July 2, 2009 The amount of money being public doesn't bother me, but apparently if you have an FDS, all personal spending within your salary also becomes public which kind of bugs me and I'm not sure why. It is a lot more than what he makes now though, and I just had a great aunt die in the same town. My aunt (she got everything from my great aunt) tried to give the house to my mom (my dad just died), who didn't want to live there alone. Mom may come live with us if she ends up filing bankruptcy, so it might work out to go live in this house. I dunno...too many changes in my life all at once are making me confused...haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 How detailed are we talking here? Mortgage and car payment information? Or as detailed as divulging that you splurge on Godiva chocolate once a month? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelaNYC Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Yep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Well, the financial disclosure is not that big a deal to me. We are living that. Ethics rules were adopted in our state to deal with some abuses by some well-connected mucky-mucks and those rules now apply to dh. There was a negative news story about how much people like dh were paid (and his name and salary were in the paper.) We didn't experience any negative fall-out. It was a stupid story and didn't go after the real culprits - the crooks who abuse patronage and pay-for-play politics. The other factors would really have to depend on the individuals involved. I am really tied to where we live and would have a difficult time leaving it. I am personally not the type to uproot for a "grass is greener" situation. I would follow dh wherever if I had to, but not if we could avoid it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda Posted July 2, 2009 Author Share Posted July 2, 2009 How detailed are we talking here? Mortgage and car payment information? Or as detailed as divulging that you splurge on Godiva chocolate once a month? I have no idea. I can't even find a site online where there is an example with this fed agency. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in the UP of MI Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 So, I have a question... -a cross-country move to an area where you don't know anyone from an area where DH's family is 20 min away. This alone would cause us not to do it. We want to stay as close to family as possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIch elle Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 We live far enough away from family and going cross country is NOT what we want. As far as the salary being made public - that's no big deal. My dh's salary is public knowledge for anyone who cares to look. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 So, I have a question... If you were okay financially, but had the opportunity for a better-paying job, would you take it? This would involve: -a cross-country move to an area where you don't know anyone from an area where DH's family is 20 min away. -a big pay increase, including an older, but huge inherited house on a couple acres on the water that is completely paid off -living in a city where the sun doesn't like to come out often -having to disclose all personal finances yearly. They would be a matter of public record due to a financial disclosure statement. -employment through a federal agency, so existing federal employment benefits and retirement would not be affected Taking all that into consideration, would you do it? I'd be packing moving boxes already. That may be just me though. I'm very "house oriented" and it would seem like a grand adventure. I love cool weather, and I don't care if people know what dh earns. I have no secrets, and I'm very sure that our earning/spending would seem very boring to anyone who cared enough to look at the numbers. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMA Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 I would take the job. Generally, financial disclosures require certain information: amount of all money gifts, debts over a certain amount, expenses associated with the job, all income and their sources. You won't be putting down specifics of where you spent your money but you will be in terms of income and money gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 So, I have a question... If you were okay financially, but had the opportunity for a better-paying job, would you take it? This would involve: -a cross-country move to an area where you don't know anyone from an area where DH's family is 20 min away. No -a big pay increase, including an older, but huge inherited house on a couple acres on the water that is completely paid off that would be nice -living in a city where the sun doesn't like to come out often that would stink -having to disclose all personal finances yearly. They would be a matter of public record due to a financial disclosure statement. absolutely not -employment through a federal agency, so existing federal employment benefits and retirement would not be affected that would be nice Taking all that into consideration, would you do it? Me, no, but I don't like change. I grew up here, dh grew up here, our families are here and if we were fiscally well off, those two factors would make moving a moot point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iwka Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 I would move, but all of us like adventure. Far from the family? Use the increase in your salary to buy the airplane tickets. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangearrow Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Ooooohhhhh, that would be SO hard for me. I have serious privacy issues, and that would involve me breaking through a very thick emotional brick wall. Plus, I hate moving. Not sure dh would be up for those challenges. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 In the given scenario, my only concern would be the job itself. None of that would be worth one of us hating our job. For the right job, I'd have the house packed up in a day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nlmullen Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Being close to your family is a big plus. Money and a nice house are not everything, though...kids don't really care about that. But they do love to be close to their family. I have family that moved far away and it breaks my heart every time they leave after a visit. I vote...don't move. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BabyBre Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Personally, no, based on your first point. The house sounds wonderful, but so are grandparents (assuming they are wonderful!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaik76 Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Our finances are pubicly disclosed. While I don't love it, it's okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 I would do it but then we have been doing something like that for 22 years. Anybody can look up anyone's federal salary or military pay. I have never had anyone tell me that they have done it but it is really easy to do. I know approximately how much others in the military make but I never use it as any kind of hold or comment on it. All it has ever helped me with is being able to price things accordingly (like making sure we never had going away parties at expensive places because the enlisted make a lot less and who wants to burden them). Dh files financial disclosure papers but I don't think anybody really looks at those nor are they published. He has to do that for clearances. That has never bothered us and while moving can be difficult, living in a different area is very educational. I also can say that if the choice is between less financial security and more, I would choose more. I think more marriages have problems due to financial issues than any other. Having a comfortable salary really helps with those kinds of issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janna Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 There is not one thing on your list that would make me do it. In fact, every single one of the factors you listed would make me run in the opposite direction. It makes me think of The Firm for some reason(;)). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Me Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 I think I would do it. It seems like a grand adventure. My husband's salary is already pretty much public knowledge, since he is a minister in our church. That doesn't really bother me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Public financial disclosure would not be a factor in our decision at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeatherLynn Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 I certainly would be all for it. A better career move for my DH, a house that sounds amazing, a chance to start over and make new friends, all that. Yes, absolutely. The disclosure wouldn't bother me a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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