JoyfulMama Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Just need to get something off my chest: I, as a homeschooling parent, have more on my plate than simply cooking, cleaning, and shuttling children around. I am not trying to negate by any means the importance of the above, just simply stating that my day encompasses that and more. A friend says I'm a super-galactic mom - maybe I should use that more often. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mycalling Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I agree. I also have a rant about mothers with only one child giving me parenting advice. My SIL has one 17yo son...ok, yes she has parented longer but has NO idea what my life is like. She has also never even been a SAHM so there's more fuel to my rant. She's coming for her yearly visit this Fri...I'm so looking forward to it. Can you tell?:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I find that homeschooling my two children (just two, mind you!) and dealing with the other household/childrearing jobs is *far* more draining than my full time (fairly high stress, requiring lots of unpaid overtime) job was. Of course, that didn't stop me from adding graduate school into the mix just recently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Sometimes when I feel as though I am not accomplishing all that I want to around the house, I suddenly remember that I do have a job. A homeschooling job that takes me at least 25 hours a week most of the year. That does not include all the arranging of playdates and transporting to activities and lessons. I always feel much better about things once I remind myself of this. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 I was filling out paperwork for my every 2 year visit to the opthalmologist and it had the options of: employed full time, part time unemployed. I put a line through unemployed and wrote homeschooler, mother homemaker. Wrong words at the wrong time. Ya' know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoyfulMama Posted June 29, 2009 Author Share Posted June 29, 2009 Sometimes when I feel as though I am not accomplishing all that I want to around the house, I suddenly remember that I do have a job. A homeschooling job that takes me at least 25 hours a week most of the year. That does not include all the arranging of playdates and transporting to activities and lessons. I always feel much better about things once I remind myself of this. Lisa Oh, it's not reminding me that is the issue... I know I have a "homeschooling job" which requires many hours per week. It's finding a way to remind the others who don't realize that this is a "real job". Just having a frustrating week - vacation is upon us as of tomorrow - yippee!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rafiki Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen in NS Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 I put a line through unemployed and wrote homeschooler, mother homemaker. Wrong words at the wrong time. Ya' know? :lol: I always write "domestic engineer" on my IRS forms! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelaNYC Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Ugh I can't stand people telling me anything they know absolutely nothing about. I cook, clean, chauffer, homeschool 2/3 of my kids (which comes with academics PLUS tons of trips and classes all week), gonna have TWO teenage girls in a month, and I work for the cable company evenings & Saturdays. But how dare my house not look perfect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patchfire Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 I have one non-homeschooling mom friend that "gets" it. Someone will say something about my "not working" or staying at home, and she will quickly correct them. "Oh, no, Kash has a job!" I do think it's more often SAHMs that don't understand how much MORE homeschooling is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 What I want people to get is how much more my DD is. She is like 4 kids in one. But at least they would entertain each other. My best friend finally sees it. Thank God. It took me 6 years to convince her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elise1mds Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 LOL I sympathize! I've been telling people that I'll have 3 jobs starting this fall... and watch their eyes bug out (SAHM, HSing, and part-time MT). Luckily I live in a state where homeschooling is very widely accepted, which helps a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i.love.lucy Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 My favorite is my couple of SAHM friends that put their kids in school all day AND have a maid once a week. They complain and complain about how they have so much to do and no time to get it done. :svengo: One of them just got home from taking some much needed time off at an exclusive spa in Arizona. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camibami Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 I've taken to putting "educational anarchist" on the "job" box on all forms. Its on FB, my Flickr profile, everything. I am pretty sure someone from this board came up with it, so thank you whoever it was! Yeah, the SAHMs here have kids in school and housekeepers, too. I simply don't have 4 hours to work out, hang out at the park outside, shop or get my nails done. I"m not anti-social, just too busy. We also are involved in outside activities that take us out of the house 6 days a week (my youngest's gymnastics in another part of Seoul, my oldest's language classes in yet another area) and so I need to protect my hs'ing time, because there is no other time to squeeze it in! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asta Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 I agree. I also have a rant about mothers with only one child giving me parenting advice. My SIL has one 17yo son...ok, yes she has parented longer but has NO idea what my life is like. She has also never even been a SAHM so there's more fuel to my rant. She's coming for her yearly visit this Fri...I'm so looking forward to it. Can you tell?:glare: I don't give people parenting advise, but I can tell you from having grown up in a large family that having only one child is NOT easier. It's not harder, but it isn't easier. One child demands everything, all of the time. There is no "have your sibling help you" or "play the game with your sibling" or anything else. It's mom (or dad, when he can be home) or nothing. Additionally, we live a lifestyle where we move often; it is extremely difficult for DS to just "make friends". I would never compare my job to that of moms who have a slightly different job description - I don't live their life. But they don't live mine, either. I let it fall under the whole "judge not" thing. There was an article in the NYT recently that was discussing how moms are essentially demeaning one another by judging each other. The reality of life is that some moms work in the home, some out, some both. The mere fact that we're all trying should count for something w/o tearing each other down. a Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommylawyer Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 I have a slightly different perspective - I work 3 days a week outside of our home as an attorney. The rest of the time, I'm home, doing all the things a full-time homeschooling (and housekeeping) mommy of 3 children and one more on the way does. My days at work - being an attorney - are my "rest" days... I get 30 minutes each way in the car alone (my precious alone time when I can listen to what I want on the stereo), then a day of clients and phone calls and legal work, a lunch break (often consisting of a lunch with my husband - those are our dates), then more work and a drive home. I don't think my coworkers realize that my home life is much more intense than my 3 8-hour days at the office. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 (edited) Oh, it's not reminding me that is the issue... I know I have a "homeschooling job" which requires many hours per week. It's finding a way to remind the others who don't realize that this is a "real job". Just having a frustrating week - vacation is upon us as of tomorrow - yippee!!!! I guess I have the opposite problem. I always have people commenting on how they could never homeschool, I must be a saint, etc. and I always quickly tell them that I'm sure homeschooling doesn't take any more of my time than getting their children up and ready for school, lunches packed, PTA meetings, etc. That is what I have heard from time to time on this board and I guess I've kind of accepted that. Every once in a while, though, I start to think that may not be entirely true and I give myself a little more credit. That realization always comes with a wave of relief. I hope you enjoy your vacation! Lisa Edited June 29, 2009 by LisaTheresa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom In Missouri Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Most often, I find that those that want to label me or my life know very little about me, or my life either for that matter. Discussing it only proves that point. I enjoy learning about other people's lives and the direction they are going...I rarely discuss my own unless specifically asked. I've learned the justification and trivialization isn't so thick and plentiful if I don't. If I am asked I keep it brief and change the subject. And those girlfriends that don't get it...most often aren't girlfriends very long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 OK, who in this thread wants to come testify at my divorce trial?? ye gads.... about that deposition again.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Homeschooling is definitely "more than" SAHMing (and I know how challenging SAHMing is!). I'm finding that it requires most of my mental reserves and that learning Latin thing is being pushed to the side. On the other hand, I couldn't imagine trying to get the girls dressed and out the door in the morning, picked up in the afternoon, homework done, and all the other extracurricular stuff that goes along with it. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mycalling Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 I don't give people parenting advise, but I can tell you from having grown up in a large family that having only one child is NOT easier. It's not harder, but it isn't easier. One child demands everything, all of the time. There is no "have your sibling help you" or "play the game with your sibling" or anything else. It's mom (or dad, when he can be home) or nothing. I've heard this and sorry, but I'm not buying it. I don't think people who say this have truly any idea of what "demands everything, all the time" means. I would love to sit and enjoy a game with my children more often but I must say "play the game with your sibling" because I am changing a diaper or cleaning my toddler's mess or putting on a bandaid. Then after whatever I am doing is a line of needs that I have to meet leaving little time for being the playpal. Not to mention the added dimention of siblings...who are far more often a bother than a playtoy. There are multiple different personalities and stages with various needs all comingled in a meltingpot I have to keep order to. One, yes, one personality, one stage of needs, one voice vying for my attention...one would be easy in comparison. I find it odd that HSing adds soooo much more to the plate of SAHM moms but meeting the needs of multiple times more HSed children full-time adds nothing, it just makes it different.:001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Just need to get something off my chest: I, as a homeschooling parent, have more on my plate than simply cooking, cleaning, and shuttling children around. I am not trying to negate by any means the importance of the above, just simply stating that my day encompasses that and more. A friend says I'm a super-galactic mom - maybe I should use that more often. :D Yes, indeed! A lot of people don't realize how much more goes into being a homeschool parent. My mom doesn't. She's so confused as to where I just don't have a clean house and meals cooked every day and on time. She claims she got it done. I then point out to her that she sent us to school, and the house was empty for at least 6 hours a day. I find it odd that HSing adds soooo much more to the plate of SAHM moms but meeting the needs of multiple times more HSed children full-time adds nothing, it just makes it different.:001_huh: I agree with you. I am in awe of moms(and dads) of many who also homeschool. I think back to how hard I thought it was when I just had my first baby. I laugh now at what I thought was hard. I'm sure those with more than 3 kids look at me and think, "Yeah, so not that hard. There are only three." :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 I too would like a title besides "unemployed" or "staying at home with kids" as opposed to having a "real" job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 OK, who in this thread wants to come testify at my divorce trial?? ye gads.... about that deposition again.... :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BabyBre Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 It's funny, even though we're now afterschooling, I still spend a good majority of my new "free time" making sure my kids get a quality education. I do that by volunteering in their classrooms (to monitor what's being taught) and working at their school (to know their classmates and school staff). While we homeschooled, I had a friend who seemingly refused to understand that we homeschooled. When I told her we couldn't go do this or that until we finished our work, she always asks me, "What work?" with a sincerely quizzical look. We've been good friends since the kids were born! She still does this because now she doesn't seem to understand that we afterschool. I think homeschooling takes "motherhood is a full-time job" to a new level. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 A while back I was sort of sad because I always wanted 5 or 6 kids but with dd's issues there is just no way I could pull off more kids and still be ok. Dh reminded me that dd takes the parenting effort of three kids so he says I really do have five.:D My best friend still doesn't get it. Oh, she doesn't say anything but I know what she thinks. She has two very mild mannered little boys. She thinks that they are this way because she has been very consistent in her parenting. She suspects that if I was "more consistent" that A would be better behaved. I am very consistent btw. I just parent differently than she does because of dd's issues. Standard parenting techniques just don't work with her. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 My new Dr. asked me if I worked outside the home. I told her no, and that I homeschool. She said, "Wow, you have two full time jobs!" It was nice to hear. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melmichigan Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 I find it interesting that the 'older generation' seems to really get what it takes to homeschool my brode and their comment is always something along the lines that I have my hands full. My response is that I am really blessed. Our generation, those of us born after the 1970's to date myself, seem to have a hard time understanding what it is to be a SAHM to multiple children. We are also completely oblivious to what it means to be a HSM to multiple children. Then you throw in special needs, whatever those needs might be in different situations and we are all really lost. For that reason alone I would never judge another parents parenting and it really saddens me that our generation seems to readily judge others, and comment about it, without having anything to compare to. The old saying, until you've walked in my shoes... I have met very few people who have been there...;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilymax Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 Like several PP's have said, I am definitely busier and more tired now than I ever was when I worked outside the home. 25 hours of actual instruction each week, plus all it takes to plan and organize lessons, etc...then everything that needs to be done around the house, coupled with the financial stress from having only one income...Yeah, it's tough. Worth it? Yep. But I'm just glad to see that others get just as irritated when people assume you should be available all the time because you're "home all day". I wish someone in my life (besides other homeschoolers) understood what it's really like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Radish4ever Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 Oh man, amen girls! I'd also like to add that, NO, I do not have the time/desire to take care of YOUR children on top of everything on my plate just because I'm, "home anyway." That drives me INSANE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FourOaks Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 I am getting a lot of this too lately. Just this past week some neighbors were going to get together for a Mom's prayer meeting/bible study on Friday morning. I originally thought that I could go, then realized what my life really entails and that there was just no way that I could join them. Then they invite me to a weekly bible study at church that runs for 2.5 hours and I was told "there's childcare". Well, that's all fine and wonderful for my 4 year old, but my two 4th graders and my 6th grader don't need "childcare", they need their teacher. Then there are people who just can't understand why I don't answer the phone in the mornings (and sometimes into the afternoons) -- how could I be too busy to deal with their needs -- I'm at home after all. I also serve on an international ministry team and get frustrated because when planning for conference calls someone will say -- "let's plan it during naptime". Wonderful for the other SAHMs who have kids in school and littles at home that nap, but there isn't naptime for all my kids here. Yes, I know I can rearrange our schedule and I do, it's just the point that other people just don't get what my life is. I also have to go to a nearly week long convention for this organization and it's put a HUGE burden on our family. Other moms seem to be able to work things out just fine, but the difference is that I am not just trying to find childcare for after school. I need someone for my kids 24/7 -- not just before or afterschool care. They also need to be doing school work during that time, so that needs to be prepared as well. I'll stop rambling now, as you all get the point. It was just nice to see this thread and know that others feel my pain because it's been coming at me from all angles lately -- that other people just don't have a clue what my life is like (whether they are SAHM, work outside the home moms, or whatever). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i.love.lucy Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 Oh man, amen girls! I'd also like to add that, NO, I do not have the time/desire to take care of YOUR children on top of everything on my plate just because I'm, "home anyway." That drives me INSANE! :hurray::party::boxing_smiley: :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 I always quickly tell them that I'm sure homeschooling doesn't take any more of my time than getting their children up and ready for school, lunches packed, PTA meetings, etc. I'm going to have to disagree there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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