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If you believe that women shouldn't be pastors. . .


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what do you think that women can/should do in the church or even just in the exercise of their spiritual life? I'm not asking for a debate on women as pastors, please - if you're interested in that please start a spin-off. I personally believe that the Bible says that women are not given the gift of pastor-teacher and I know that there are other conservative Christians who believe the same way. What I'm struggling with is that many churches seem to put additional strictures on women in the church that I'm not sure are in the Bible. So I'm trying to get things straight in my own mind about what the role of women can and should be in the church. Would you help me?

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what do you think that women can/should do in the church or even just in the exercise of their spiritual life? I'm not asking for a debate on women as pastors, please - if you're interested in that please start a spin-off. I personally believe that the Bible says that women are not given the gift of pastor-teacher and I know that there are other conservative Christians who believe the same way. What I'm struggling with is that many churches seem to put additional strictures on women in the church that I'm not sure are in the Bible. So I'm trying to get things straight in my own mind about what the role of women can and should be in the church. Would you help me?

Disclaimer: this is all my personal opinion, so if it offends anyone, take it only fwiw, kwim?

 

I think the Bible has a lot to say about the role of women, but to put it in a nutshell I think women are called to do a lot of things according to their own talents. Some ideas:

*mentoring other women*

caring for children

planning events

teaching Sunday School

office work

cleaning

ministering to the sick, needy, or lonely

leading women's Bible Studies

community outreach

writing

aesthetics of church building

 

That's just a start...but it's a LOT!

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What I'm struggling with is that many churches seem to put additional strictures on women in the church that I'm not sure are in the Bible. So I'm trying to get things straight in my own mind about what the role of women can and should be in the church. Would you help me?

 

Can you give me examples of this (where the church is putting additional scriptures on women)?

 

I know of one that my church does is: Women are not to serve communion. Nowhere does it say this in the Bible. In fact, women served the Last Supper to Jesus and his disciples.

 

The church I work for (same brotherhood) allow women to serve communion and give communion dedication. I do not agree with women giving communion dedication. I have no problem with serving communion. Or even praying. But giving of the dedication is where the teaching comes in too.

 

I do believe we can speak up in class such as Sunday School or small groups. My church do not believe in that especially in the "senior" class. The church I work for do not have a problem with this. We do have women ministers on staff where I work but they are not ministering to adults. We have a women worship Arts minister, 2 children's women ministers. That is it. All the other women on staff are either Director of something such as Benevelence, communications, finance and so on. They all fall under the Executive Minister who is a man.

 

Again I am very interested in hearing what you are hearing which is my question above.

 

Holly

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A lot could be said here, but I just wanted to touch on this... a woman's silence in and of itself is a ministry. Her silence in the assembly shows her submissive spirit and teaches proper headship. Not speaking is an outward work in it's own way.

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Just an anecdotal comment: In all our experiences with female pastors, we've never had one that we considered a good pastor. Not even close, really. They've always been extremely limited in their jobs by their own personal baggage.

 

Dh says this just proves that women shouldn't be pastors. He may be right, but I think there's probably more to it than just that.

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Can you give me examples of this

Holly

 

Any kind of leadership that would include men.

 

I'm told that this would include leading the music or service because a woman would be "telling" a man what to sing.

 

Reading Scripture publicly (without teaching from it).

 

Praying publicly (but in a woman's only prayer group it is ok).

 

Leading a Sunday School class that included men.

 

Note - I know that there are Scriptures (and strictures!) about women and leadership - I'm not sure if it is supposed to apply only to women in a pastoral leadership position or anything that could be construed as leadership. If a man led worship or read Scripture or prayed or even taught Sunday school, I wouldn't expect him to have the gift of pastor or even leadership per se. But maybe I should?

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A lot could be said here, but I just wanted to touch on this... a woman's silence in and of itself is a ministry. Her silence in the assembly shows her submissive spirit and teaches proper headship. Not speaking is an outward work in it's own way.

 

I naturally go to my husband if I have questions or even disagreements with something in the church because I've found that talking it over in our home is more profitable to me. But I struggle with understanding these verses - are they to very specific to certain kinds of situations or is it a blanket statement?

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My dh and I have attended, for the most part, very conservative churches all our married lives. They have all been different in their treatment of women and their roles in the church. The most conservative one was, honestly, not at all kind in it's treatment of women. We were not much more than nursery workers and cooks, and were to keep quiet and share our opinions at home with our husbands. They referred to ladies as 'daughters of Eve' from time to time. ;) Perhaps things had been that way for so long, nobody ever questioned their attitudes. When we (thankfully) left that place, our new church home seemed to go too far the opposite way, and women were making the announcements, serving the communion, teaching all of the classes, preaching on occasion, and doing all sorts of things. My personal opinion is that the first church I mentioned seemed to be full of men with a pride problem. They were all the king of the hill, so to speak. Unfortunately, many of them treated their wives like doormats. I do not think the Lord had that in mind at all! The other, more liberal church I mentioned, seemed to be a resting place for a lot of lazy men who were, for the most part, spiritually asleep. Not good, either! So churches seem to have lost their balance in many cases. While women are lovely and intelligent creatures, we have too much of the 'mothering' instinct, too much emotional energy, to be the head overseer of a group that includes men. And if the men of the church aren't being led and encouraged and inspired by other Godly men in the group, they can easily become complacent and allow ladies to do the duties that men would traditionally do. There are jobs that ladies do much better than men, and vice versa. I just do not believe that men should be 'overseen' by a woman pastor. If there is a group of men and women in a class, there should be a man to teach it. But ladies can minister to other ladies in a special, personal way. We can tend to babies in a mothering way. We can use our creative abilities to decorate, organize, and inspire others. We can teach children in a compassionate way. And of course we can cook like crazy when we want to. :D Hurray for ladies!

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Disclaimer: this is all my personal opinion, so if it offends anyone, take it only fwiw, kwim?

 

I think the Bible has a lot to say about the role of women, but to put it in a nutshell I think women are called to do a lot of things according to their own talents. Some ideas:

*mentoring other women*

caring for children

planning events

teaching Sunday School

office work

cleaning

ministering to the sick, needy, or lonely

leading women's Bible Studies

community outreach

writing

aesthetics of church building

 

That's just a start...but it's a LOT!

 

This is a good list.

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Any kind of leadership that would include men.

 

I'm told that this would include leading the music or service because a woman would be "telling" a man what to sing.

 

Reading Scripture publicly (without teaching from it).

 

Praying publicly (but in a woman's only prayer group it is ok).

 

Leading a Sunday School class that included men.

 

 

 

I believe in this. And at our church, boys became "men" as soon as they left the children's department (7th grade). I had female sunday school teachers in 7th, 8th and 9th grade, but the classes were divided by sex. 10th, 11th and 12th sunday school classes were taught by couples and had boys and girls.

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what do you think that women can/should do in the church or even just in the exercise of their spiritual life? I'm not asking for a debate on women as pastors, please - if you're interested in that please start a spin-off. I personally believe that the Bible says that women are not given the gift of pastor-teacher and I know that there are other conservative Christians who believe the same way. What I'm struggling with is that many churches seem to put additional strictures on women in the church that I'm not sure are in the Bible. So I'm trying to get things straight in my own mind about what the role of women can and should be in the church. Would you help me?

 

I have not read all the responses, but I just want to say that there are many ways ladies can be of service to the Lord in church and in the comminuty, as well as experincing a full spiritual life.

 

Ladies could:

 

serve in the nursery at church

teach Sunday school to children or other ladies

help clean the church

prepare meals for shut ins or the bereaved

prepare meals for new moms

play a musical instrument in church if so gifted

help prepare the bulletins

assist with clerical duties at church

help elderly with errands

pray for church members and their needs

start a new ministry to single moms

offer transportation to and from church to someone who needs is

correspond with missionaries

 

Other ways of serving the Lord outside your home church could include:

 

volunteer work at local charities as time allows

prayer (Yes, I know it is basic. But I think it is very important and one thing every believer can do)

help out in your homeschool group

Be a mentor to a younger mom or a new homeschool mom

Witness to others about your faith

 

HTH :)

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Women can do it all, just in the appropriate time and place. The church is the bride of Christ. When the men serve communion, pray, preach, and so on, they are serving Christ as his bride. When we are quiet and allow them to do those things, we are helping our men serve. Women are very important. They have many jobs, however they may be invisible or behind the scenes instead of in front of the congregation. I know some women who are gifted speakers so they lead women's classes. They organize church suppers. They organize the classrooms and select curriculums. They pray with other women. They minister to other women in many ways. They provide food to those who have had loss or illness. They send cards and letters. They call others. They care for the sick. My grandmother keeps the church books and makes all the deposits. When the men are absent, the women can preach, pray, lead singing, serve communion, and all that.

 

I just want to say that being submissive doesn't mean we are not valuable or important. The mother and grandmother of Timothy are praised for teaching him well. Ipersonally think that is our most important job as women- rearing the next generation of Christians.

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Women can do it all, just in the appropriate time and place. The church is the bride of Christ. When the men serve communion, pray, preach, and so on, they are serving Christ as his bride. When we are quiet and allow them to do those things, we are helping our men serve. Women are very important. They have many jobs, however they may be invisible or behind the scenes instead of in front of the congregation. I know some women who are gifted speakers so they lead women's classes. They organize church suppers. They organize the classrooms and select curriculums. They pray with other women. They minister to other women in many ways. They provide food to those who have had loss or illness. They send cards and letters. They call others. They care for the sick. My grandmother keeps the church books and makes all the deposits. When the men are absent, the women can preach, pray, lead singing, serve communion, and all that.

 

I just want to say that being submissive doesn't mean we are not valuable or important. The mother and grandmother of Timothy are praised for teaching him well. Ipersonally think that is our most important job as women- rearing the next generation of Christians.

 

This especially spoke to me. Thank you.

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Many years ago, a friend of mine who is a life-long Anglican/Episcopalian, was explaining to me why she thought women should not be vicars. For her it was not a spiritual problem but a practical one: she felt that a parish needed a husband-and-wife team to perform all the functions, and that it would be a vanishingly-rare man who would take on the ancillary roles to support his wife the vicar. She was talking about all the committee, community and organisational tasks that a vicar's wife has traditionally performed for free. She has since changed her views, but I thought that her point of view was interesting.

 

Laura

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Do any of the women on the WTM board who believe that women should be submissive to men ever feel frustrated by this role? Maybe you are a natural leader or have other interests, but feel that the Bible really does teach you to be submissive. How do you deal with these feelings?

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Do any of the women on the WTM board who believe that women should be submissive to men ever feel frustrated by this role? Maybe you are a natural leader or have other interests, but feel that the Bible really does teach you to be submissive. How do you deal with these feelings?

 

By asking questions like this on the WTM board.

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Do any of the women on the WTM board who believe that women should be submissive to men ever feel frustrated by this role? Maybe you are a natural leader or have other interests, but feel that the Bible really does teach you to be submissive. How do you deal with these feelings?

 

Do you mean being submissive to men in general, or to one's husband? It's an important distinction that's often overlooked in discussions of these kinds.

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I think the Bible has a lot to say about the role of women, but to put it in a nutshell I think women are called to do a lot of things according to their own talents. Some ideas:

*mentoring other women*

caring for children

planning events

teaching Sunday School

office work

cleaning

ministering to the sick, needy, or lonely

leading women's Bible Studies

community outreach

writing

aesthetics of church building

 

That's just a start...but it's a LOT!

 

:iagree: In fact, if you think about it, I think the church would fall apart at the seams without women. We do SO MUCH of the peripheral stuff. Let the men be the pastors thankyouverymuch...we women have enough on our plates. ;):D

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Women can do it all, just in the appropriate time and place. The church is the bride of Christ. When the men serve communion, pray, preach, and so on, they are serving Christ as his bride. When we are quiet and allow them to do those things, we are helping our men serve. Women are very important. They have many jobs, however they may be invisible or behind the scenes instead of in front of the congregation. I know some women who are gifted speakers so they lead women's classes. They organize church suppers. They organize the classrooms and select curriculums. They pray with other women. They minister to other women in many ways. They provide food to those who have had loss or illness. They send cards and letters. They call others. They care for the sick. My grandmother keeps the church books and makes all the deposits. When the men are absent, the women can preach, pray, lead singing, serve communion, and all that.

 

I just want to say that being submissive doesn't mean we are not valuable or important. The mother and grandmother of Timothy are praised for teaching him well. Ipersonally think that is our most important job as women- rearing the next generation of Christians.

 

Excellent post! ;)

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Do any of the women on the WTM board who believe that women should be submissive to men ever feel frustrated by this role? Maybe you are a natural leader or have other interests, but feel that the Bible really does teach you to be submissive. How do you deal with these feelings?

 

The only time I feel any frustration is when men refuse to be scripturally submissive to us as well.

:D

 

as for the OP, I think women can do a fine scriptural job of teaching other men in a Sunday School class or serving in an advisory capacity, but i do draw the line at the HEAD of the congregation.

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Just an anecdotal comment: In all our experiences with female pastors, we've never had one that we considered a good pastor. Not even close, really. They've always been extremely limited in their jobs by their own personal baggage.

 

Dh says this just proves that women shouldn't be pastors. He may be right, but I think there's probably more to it than just that.

 

oh, gosh, I've seen very few good MALE pastors, lol!

 

I've known two people that i would would say are very Good teachers of the Word: one was a male pastor and one was a female SS teacher that stopped short of official pastoring. because of that, I don't rely on my own anecdotal observations of whether Scripture is correct or not ;)

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A lot could be said here, but I just wanted to touch on this... a woman's silence in and of itself is a ministry. Her silence in the assembly shows her submissive spirit and teaches proper headship. Not speaking is an outward work in it's own way.

 

Oh, Bess . . .

 

This is something that has been on my mind. I think I'm going to pm you on this. I hope you don't mind.

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Do any of the women on the WTM board who believe that women should be submissive to men ever feel frustrated by this role? Maybe you are a natural leader or have other interests, but feel that the Bible really does teach you to be submissive. How do you deal with these feelings?

 

I do believe it very strongly and also struggle with it at times. Happily, I am Catholic and have recourse to the sacraments and I offer it up. However, this gives me something to do when I fail, I'm still looking for that thing that will help me not fail. I do strive to receive the grace granted through frequent reception of the Holy Eucharist and when it's hard on my, I try to do this more often.

 

I'm an ASL interpreter. I have a private practice and I absolutely love it. I can do what I want when I want to do it and often as I want and that makes for a perfect homeschooling situation. A while back my husband wanted me to take on a client that I didnt' want to take. I really didn't want to take the client for good reasons and my husband had equally good reasons for wanting me to do it. Well, as much as I didnt' want to do it, I felt that I had to. Not because my husband had a good reason for wanting me to but b/c he told me to. I don't have many friends who understand this. When I finally took the client, I did it with this in my heart: if I submit to my husband's will I will be submitting to Our Lord's will. If I submit to Our Lord's will, he will bless the work I am doing. He may not bless this work in my physical lifetime but I have faith and believe that he will bless this obedience in my eternal lifetime.

 

Every time I take this client now I offer it up for in union with Our Dear Lord's obedience to his Heavenly Father when he accepted death, yea even death upon a cross.

 

That's all I can do when it's really, really, hard to do.

 

There are times when it is merely difficult. I just ask for God to grant me what I lack and sometimes I say a thing I don't feel or don't want or don't believe until I have been given the grace to feel it or want it or believe it.

Edited by MomOfOneFunOne
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Just an anecdotal comment: In all our experiences with female pastors, we've never had one that we considered a good pastor. Not even close, really. They've always been extremely limited in their jobs by their own personal baggage.

 

Dh says this just proves that women shouldn't be pastors. He may be right, but I think there's probably more to it than just that.

 

My own minister has said that there are too many people in the preisthood, men and women, who get into it thinking it will solve their issues or relieve them of baggage. I'd venture that we probably notice it more in women simply because they're less familiar to us in the role. The issues the men have might be camoflauged by our familiarity.

 

Regardless, I'm finding this an interesting thread. I do have a female minister (who is wonderful) but I think this is a valuable discussion for raising possibilities for the roles people can play in their church.

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In our church, women are called to lead and exercise their gifts in every capacity except head pastor. This includes teaching, missions, compassion ministries, the arts, and whatever else you can think of. It is a shame to not use the gifts that God has given you, isn't it? I especially enjoy the work of the artists, as they create works of art related to the Scripture series Pastor is teaching!

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This especially spoke to me. Thank you.

You are welcome. I wasn't sure I was making my point well.

 

 

Originally Posted by KingM viewpost.gif

Do any of the women on the WTM board who believe that women should be submissive to men ever feel frustrated by this role? Maybe you are a natural leader or have other interests, but feel that the Bible really does teach you to be submissive. How do you deal with these feelings?

 

Being submisive doesn't mean I sit around waiting for instruction. Or that I ask my dh for permission to do everything. I am an independent woman who makes many of my own decisions. My dh looks to me with respect and often asks for advice. The woman in Proverbs 31 was in a position of power over her household if you read closely. She had servants and managed them well. She sold items for money. She was busy at her work.

 

Anyway, I didn't marry until I was 28 and yes, I had a hard time given the final authority to my dh. But now I would have it no other way. I like that he has that responsibility now. My dh treats me as an equal and asks for my help, my ideas, my suggestions as he is making decisions for our family. Before I would just tell him how I thought it should be done and then pout if he didn't do it that way. It created lots of strife. He didn't make many great decisions early on, but now he is a fantastic leader and father because I let him grow into that position.

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If you believe that women shouldn't be pastors. . .

 

Well, I do and I don't. I believe that the vast majority of contemporary churches are not spiritually fit enough to be lead by a woman pastor. I also feel very confident that I am not called to be a pastor. Is that sufficient?

 

The best source for an understanding of Christian talents and Christian relationships is the Bible. If I was searching, that's where I'd look.

 

Both men and women fail and succeed as servant leaders and teachers, generally in very different ways. From what I've seen, leadership teams with both male and female, young and old, seem to work out best.

 

When men are insecure, they tend to latch on to the idea of male headship as a way of feeling important. This makes maintaining an appropriate Christian relationship with these troubled men very challenging for women. If we're submissive to such men, they abuse and exploit us. This is not God's plan for women. If women challenge such men, even unintentionally, these men actually get worse. This is not God's plan for men. There are forces within our culture that are resulting in more insecure "adult" men than ever before. Women on a mutually supportive leadership team can turn to a mature male peer for help in restoring troubled men within the congregation.

 

When women are insecure, they tend to latch on to the idea of manipulating men as a way of feeling important. This manipulation can take many forms, all of which make maintaining an appropriate Christian relationship with these women very challenging for men. These women misuse the power and privileges of our gender, and in doing so they destroy relationships and cause strife, anxiety and shame. This is not what God has planned at all. Men on a mutually supportive leadership team can turn to a mature female peer for help in restoring troubled women within the congregation.

 

Simply put, while it is not appropriate for women to teach (command men's obedience) within the church, it is not forbidden for a man to listen to a woman's council either!

 

A man who is secure in his masculinity can avail himself of the benefit of female council. A man who is afraid of looking or feeling weak cannot. Paradoxically, a man who is too afraid of looking or feeling weak to avail himself of female council is not spiritually well (teachable) enough for leadership. What God wills is mutual submission, and the more confident and whole men and women are, the easier it becomes. Submission is the ultimate expression of strength, and so gender become less significant as people grow in Christ.

 

Paradox upon paradox, that's what we find when we study God's Word. Sometime I think "paradox" is one of God's secret names!

 

I submit to you that you should not concern yourself with what a woman's role should be in a church, but rather what your role should be in the church. Search yourself, search scripture, pray for guidance and consult with your husband. Whatever God has planned for you, I'm certain it's wonderful.

 

Your own calling, your husband's disposition and your families needs, as well as the nature of your congregation, will all play a part in determining your path. If I were you, I'd ask God to take it easy on me! Sometimes God wants us to break with tradition or shake things up a bit. It's an unenviable position to be called to something controversial.

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In fact, women served the Last Supper to Jesus and his disciples.

 

 

Can you show me where it says that?

 

In all our experiences with female pastors, we've never had one that we considered a good pastor.

 

The church where I grew up had female pastors and this was my experience as well. My brother made it out of church there without knowing what the first book of the new testament was (his name!).

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Do any of the women on the WTM board who believe that women should be submissive to men ever feel frustrated by this role? Maybe you are a natural leader or have other interests, but feel that the Bible really does teach you to be submissive. How do you deal with these feelings?

 

funny you should ask this...the more submissive I am to my husband, the more I feel protected. normally i think of myself as the "squeaky wheel" and the one who takes the lead when i see him take the lead, i feel so safe, and so much more able to focus on my job, which is nurturing the family and guiding and caring for the children.

 

my experience has been that women who have neanderthals for husbands who "lord it over them" in the submission department are really miserable in that role. women who have caring husbands who are seeking the lord's headship in their own lives and leading their families as gently as they can while still maintaining their authority tend to be gaga over their men! who wouldn't be??? i know that's how i feel about my very wonderful husband. :001_wub:

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The older women should be in ministries that encourage the younger women to love their husbands, love their children, and work in the home. This is referenced in Titus 2. Women can and should also be involved in ministries which care for the sick, the poor, and/or orphans. I can't remember in what book, but I remember reading this in reference to discerning between widows who are worthy of help from the church vs. those who should not get help from the church. Those who should not get help are those who are busy bodies and not giving of themselves to those types of helps. That's all I can think of right now.

 

What these two things might look like in the modern church would be an older woman conducting a ladies Bible study or a small women's group with the focus on encouraging the younger women to submit to the leadership of their husbands, and how to work in and about the house, and/or how to care for and train or teach children.

 

Another ministry might be a "helping hands" type of ministry headed up by an elder women with younger women under her to help carry out the tasks of making meals for those in the body in need, scheduling hospital visits for the sick in the body, organizing transportation or house cleaning for elderly in the body who cannot drive or who have difficulty with keeping their house, etc. etc. etc.

 

Hope this helps some...I don't have time to read the other responses, though I'm interested in other ideas. Maybe I'll check back in tomorrow and see what others have to say. Blessings, Jean. :D

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My brother made it out of church there without knowing what the first book of the new testament was (his name!).

 

LOL. I misread this the first time through. Genesis? Who would name their child Genesis? Were his parents big Phil Collins fans?

Oooh, the New Testament.

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