WWTHD? Long-distance grandparent buys book...

[Mommy22alyns]

What would the Hive do? :bigear:

 

My mom has ordered the girls some books, and one of them is a Junie B. Jones book. I groaned when I saw the picture - JBJ has not been welcomed into our house because she displays behavior I don't care for the girls to emulate. :glare: Plus, they're just not challenging stories in any way.

 

So, should I tell my mom, "Sorry, JBJ is a brat and while I appreciate the books, the girls won't be reading that one."

 

Or should I just shuttle that book over to the sell pile when the box arrives and smile and nod to Mom?

 

And on that topic, how are the Jewel Fairy books? What about Judy Moody? I prefer to avoid a lot of smartmouthing and name-calling in kids' books, KWIM?

[dangermom]

I'd just thank her and put the book in the discard pile.

[joannqn]

I'd just thank her and put the book in the discard pile.

:iagree:

 

And start a wish list on Amazon that you can direct her to for future choices.

[abbeyej]

I wouldn't say anything to Grandma. It sounds like she was trying to send books she thought her grand-daughters would enjoy -- and may even have sought the advice of a bookseller in selecting them. If you absolutely don't want them in your home, subtly put them in the sell/give box.

 

At some *other* point, mention to Grandma a series that the girls have been enjoying, or that they would like to try. But don't badmouth her gift when she isn't obviously trying to undermine you.

 

That said, I didn't have problems with my dd reading those books for a brief time. They aren't classics, but nor did they bother me. She wasn't emulating any unpleasant behavior -- in fact, some of the humor for her was her horror at Junie's behavior.

 

Dd only read the Rainbow Fairy series, but I'm pretty sure it's *exactly* like the Jewel Fairies (and Weather Fairies)... They're pretty inane, but not offensive. Dd loved them, and I let her color the line illustrations with colored pencils whenever she'd finished reading one, and she found that delightful. (And what did I care? So they became glorified coloring books.) Her interest didn't last long, as they are *highly* formulaic. She read them and moved on to bigger and better things, and it didn't seem to dampen her taste for real literature.

[Julie in CA]

If you think this was a one-time deal, I wouldn't say anything. That particular book would just be set aside and "lost in the shuffle".

 

If you think your mom might send more JBJ, I'd have your daughter try to trade the book with a friend for one she might like, then I'd tell my mom, "oh, dd traded the book with her friend for another one she really had her eye on. We don't really do JBJ, but friend had {insert book title} that dd wanted to read, so they traded. I knew you wouldn't mind. It was so thoughtful of you to send the books!" {HUGE smile, and hand-written thank you from dd}.

[Mommy22alyns]

If you think this was a one-time deal, I wouldn't say anything. That particular book would just be set aside and "lost in the shuffle".

 

If you think your mom might send more JBJ, I'd have your daughter try to trade the book with a friend for one she might like, then I'd tell my mom, "oh, dd traded the book with her friend for another one she really had her eye on. We don't really do JBJ, but friend had {insert book title} that dd wanted to read, so they traded. I knew you wouldn't mind. It was so thoughtful of you to send the books!" {HUGE smile, and hand-written thank you from dd}.

 

 

Yeah, I was going to go the "just hide it" route, but my mom might well buy more. I mean, we come by our love of books honestly! ;)

[hsmom3tn]

My girls loved the JBJ books, but we did have to have discussions about Junie B's inappropriate behavior and smart-mouth. I never had a problem with my DD's trying to emulate JBJ.

 

What to do with the books really depends on the giver. If you told her, in a nice way that you appreciate the thought but don't allow those particular books, will she get offended/upset, or would she offer to help you exchange them for something else? I would probably just say thank you or quietly sell them or give them away, because my MIL is very easily offended. But in the past, when I have done that, I have always had to worry that she might one day ask my kids about whether or not they enjoyed the gift. Would your mother ever ask about whether or not the books were read/enjoyed?

 

My girls LOVED the Rainbow Magic series. I asked them if there was any smart-mouthing or bad behavior from the fairies, as there was in JBJ, and they said no. I remember we listened to a Judy Moody audio book a while ago and there was some arguing between Judy and Stink (her brother), so there may have been some unpleasantness there... can't remember specifically...

 

Is "unpleasantness" even a word? LOL

 

-Angie

[DebonLI]

in how not to act.

[angela in ohio]

We throw away books that dc cannot read. They understand that it is for their own good, and even give me a sly little "knowing smile" when they get them.

 

I would toss out all of the ones you mentioned.

 

I would also follow the advice of PP and give her specific titles or a series that your dd enjoys.

[Dirtroad]

I would find out if they have already been ordered. If she hasn't... I would speak up. If you don't .... then you have to (potentially) LIE later about how much child enjoyed them etc.

 

If she has ordered them, thank her & take intervention steps before the next gift time.

 

If she hasn't .... as sweetly as you can... tell her how much the grandchild LOVE, LOVE, Loves books & reading. That books are always a great gift... .but let her know that she is already passed that reading level. You don' thave to get into the poor quality of writing or pitiful behavior or the main character! Just go with the LEVEL OF SKILL. Ask her if it would be helpful to share a few authors or books that are on her reading level.

 

My inlaws order books & gifts at times & are alwasy grateful that we give them a "heads-up". Then, kids enjoy the gift & they haven't wasted the money.

 

If you don't speak up.... be prepared to lie & cover your tracks later. Oh, and how do you handle Thank you notes.

 

Just another view point!;)

[Carol in Cal.]

I was not thrilled at all, but DD reads so little twaddle that I figured that two little paperbacks wouldn't hurt her. However, when one of them got mixed up in her clothes and actually ended up in the wash machine, I knew I should have gotten rid of them from the beginning! (Kidding).

[JoyfulMama]

My oldest was gifted JBJ and Judy Moody books a couple years ago by my in-laws. My kind MIL went into a bookstore, and asked for guidance on a chapter book selection for an x-year old. Because they are POPULAR books they were recommended. My MIL was excited to give her books from a new series.

I silently groaned when I saw them. So I quietly put them on the bookshelf. I didn't encourage the reading of them, but I didn't prohibit it, either. When my dd picked one up, I then asked her what she thought of it. She didn't like it. She had no desire to read more. So together we decided to donate them.

Back to my MIL, I shared that she read them, but wasn't into them. I then shared some other authors that she was more into. Since then their choices have been better.

[elfgivas]

joyful mama, what a great approach! brava! brava!:hurray::hurray::hurray:

[Carrie12345]

If I didn't want my kids to read them, I would tell my mother. She would definitely ask my girls if they enjoyed the book, and that would put them in an awkward position.

[Jen in PA]

DD got a JBJ book in a big bag of books a cousin had outgrown. Thankfully, she has shown zero interest so far. I know that the series is a big favorite with my niece, and I imagine that at some point family members might hear about it, so I make sure I tell them about other books my dd enjoys so that they won't automatically purchase JBJ. Right now DD is very focused on the library's summer reading program, and I will only let her record books that are at or above a certain reading level -- and most JBJ titles don't make the cut:001_smile:

 

I suppose if I were in your shoes I might allow your dd to read the book and ask her how she felt about the inappropriate behaviors. Then just let your mother know which other titles were enjoyed and hope she gets the hint.

[dcjlkplus3]

I would leave the book on the shelf (easy for me to say, my dd rarely looks at the books on the shelves not in her room).

 

I also REALLY like the idea of keeping the grandparents upto date on what is reading or WANTING to read.

 

My dd7.5 loves all of the Rainbow/Weather/Jewel Fairies books, but for us they are good library books - she probably will not read them again.

 

Nancy Drew Notebooks or Nancy Drew and the Clue Crew (I think they are pretty much the same series - Clue Crew is just newer) have also been greatly enjoyed and are at that early chapter books level.

[amsunshine]

I agree about setting up an Amazon wishlist. Also, if mil happened to have bought the books on Amazon, you can return them for a credit sooo easily -- mil will not be informed of your returned items and you can order different books of your own choosing. This has happened to us, too, recently (only it was grandparent sending my dd baby books when my dd is already reading chapter books). We have an Amazon wishlist, but for some reason, the grandparents don't always believe my dc actually want the books on the list.:confused:

 

After we exchanged the books for those dd actually wanted, dd wrote a simple thank you note thanking the grandparent for her books, and that was that. If we are ever questioned about it I will explain, but so far, no questions.

[Orthodox6]

When s-i-l sent dd a "Junie" book (years ago, when dd was learning to read), I never had heard of the series. DD read it, and we discussed whatever lent itself to fruitful discussion. We have not read any since then.

 

If grandparents enjoy sending books, perhaps you could develop a "wish list" to share with them. It is possible that they consulted a bookstore clerk for suggestions for what a girl "of age X" likes to read. You could be a great help by suggesting books you would like for your home library !

 

If someone gives us an "unsuitable" book or DVD, we give it to the library. I would not do that with anything that I consider truly wrong (Blume, Pullman, Goosebumps, etc.). Many books, though, I feel ok giving to the library. The "big world" is not going to change its ways.