An entire set of super nice bakeware - sheet pans, muffin pans, cake pans in different sizes and at least two of each, loaf pans. I bought my dad a sheet pan from Williams Sonoma gold line and he used it the next day and immediately ordered himself two more. It’s the first gift that he truly raves about.

What a terrible tragedy, praying for your DD, her boyfriend’s family and for your family. Just so sad.

Updated in OP

I’m so so sorry for your loss. Holding you and your family in my prayers.

I am curious where the property line sits relative to the division between the two houses and this driveway. It would seem to me that if your parents side of the driveway is on their property, then the tenants would be trespassing by parking behind them on your parents property. I agree talking to an attorney and having to pay an hour or two of billable time would be money well spent. These tenants sound like awful humans.

How does HE feel about his weight? Has he verbalized anything to you? Are you sure his weight is overweight?

First, huge sympathy. This sounds very stressful for your parents and you. Just to make sure I’m understanding, your parents’ car is blocked in by another tenant? Does the tenant not have their own parking space on “their” side of the garage? Have your parents asked the tenants directly not to block in their car? If the tenants are constantly blocking your parents’ car in and they have to walk over uneven surfaces making it all fall risk, and they have asked the tenants not to block them in, I would deal directly with the landlord on their behalf. I would do some research on codes and be very firm this is creating a safely risk for your parents. How far away from your parents do you live?

Praying for your mom, you and your family

You’ve gotten great responses so far. One question I keep thinking: what contact besides the bus could this bully have with your kids outside of the bus (while at school, community functions)? I would ask or ask through my attorney the school to document how they plan to keep your children safe while at school the bully attends.

With what’s been shared about this situation, it sounds like this young man is not proud of his actions / choices and is carrying shame and knows the truth + your judgement will bring more shame. If I cared about the person and wanted to preserve our relationship, I would try to remove the barriers to honesty - I would not ask set up questions to test their honesty about choices that he knows are disapproved of. People lie for a lot of reasons, but this situation sounds like shame and wanting to not be faced with emotions or consequences of choices they get to make. You get to set conditions to what is acceptable in your home.

You certainly have in person interactions with her that may lead to reading her text / email/ sm post a certain way. I can think of a few ways to interpret it. It could also be interpreted that she’s feeling anxious her daughter will have a less than stellar performance and since she’s a high performer she’s looking to remind others to expect less from her daughter, too. I used to be the super competitive, loud cheering mom. The today me would have a lot of side eye for the past me and would probably avoid interacting with her. This mom may grow / change as well and being around other moms that model what unconditional support looks like will help her.

Wow - you all are amazing! Thank you for each of the replies. I’m going to check out all the linked resources tomorrow. Thank you!

I’ve always had high arches - so much so that certain shoes do not work for me because of them. A few weeks ago, I started having some pain near where my arch and front part of the heel area meet, on the inside of the arch if that makes sense. I’ve been a runner for 16 years and stay on top of getting new running shoes. The pain is getting more constant and sharper. I have gained some weight (that I *want* to lose, but then I’ll try to eat my feelings and things have been stressful). I even bought new running shoes (same style, just new pair) last week. I went for a run yesterday and today the pain is constant. Has anyone else experienced this? Could it be the start of plantar fasciitis? Is there a way to reverse or heal it?

Some things that jump out to me: OP, you originally asked if you were being unreasonable. You have three pages of replies of the WTM board unanimously agreeing you are being REASONABLE! This level of agreement should validate you - I hope you can be kind enough to yourself to accept this validation. In your shoes for the immediate question, I would tell DH that continuing to wait for it to be done isn’t working for you. It is affecting you, your mental health, your happiness. I would tell him you are getting 1-2 quotes to have someone else complete the work - maybe the cost would be surprising in a good or bad way, but you need more information. And you plan to go from there. Bigger picture, I grew up in a home where my dad was super controlling with money and my mom was constantly on eggshells. It has taken a lot of work to really give myself permission to speak up about my needs and wants to DH. Our dynamic has shifted dynamically. I used to be a care taker / enabler but now things are much more equitable to me and I feel DH respects me more. If you have daughters, what would you want your daughter to do if it were her marriage? Time with our children is precious, like you said. But, the cost of betraying yourself is not a good gift to pass on.

I’ve held you and your family in my thoughts this week. It’s good to see you today or welcome back

One thing that stands out to me in your post is how upsetting it is to feel like he doesn’t care. I would encourage you to separate that out as much as you can - he may care, he may not. Ultimately, if you are accepting a way of being treated that is degrading, disrespectful, hurtful, you need to value yourself over trying to get him to act in a way that feels caring. Don’t chase his approval and work on you and your feelings and happiness. Big hugs.

DH went through a spell like this and his doctor did some test that showed he literally had no immunity from strep. He would test negative on the rapid and came back positive from the send out. It was really hard because our kids were in a very part time preschool program and strep was as prevalent as snack time. He just had to focus on immune system support - high quality meals, lots of rest, etc. It took a long time to rebuild. Hopefully your daughter can work out a plan with her professors to bring down some stress.

Prospective candidates are smart enough to know who will say good things about them and who will not. You are better off investing the time to really understand the needs of the role and aligning the interview team on those qualities / qualifications and hire for potential where you can for someone with the right attitude.

This song has been on constant repeat for me the last couple of months. So uplifting

Do her and her husband to be have a shared hobby? I would try to do something tailored to that.

I think personal happiness / intangible benefits is a huge pro for additions like this. I’m assuming you foresee using this space a lot and contributing to family time, usable space, etc. The one question you may want to consider is what the cost of the project is compared to how much it will increase your home’s value. I don’t think there will be a huge drop off of cost of goods given how messed up the supply chains are right now. Are there any materials you would want to swap out/upgrade/downgrade before proceeding? You know your discipline when it comes to finances, so if the 30 year makes the most sense to you, do it. And enjoy that extra space!

I think this thread has some really good points in it, but is also a slippery slope. Full disclosure - I have a pair of the sneakers. I love them and it makes me happy to wear them every day. I got them 30% off and it was a huge treat to myself after a really really super crappy year filled with lots of life. It makes me sad to think how harshly people are willing to judge me and the narrative about me if they see them on my feet. Ouch. I don’t need the shoes to feel better about myself having a “status symbol”. I’m not directing this at anyone but I think not shopping trends or choosing to (fill in the blank - live simply, not buy, support local, upcycle, recycle, deny yourself, thrift shop) - is a badge of honor that can then be used to criticize / critique other people’s choices. I wouldn’t choose to spend $1200 on a sweater but I would hope someone who has the means to is also generous with their resources to others that are in need. Not my role to judge.

Does your DD interact with this adult regularly? I would wonder if this person has done the “infringe on personal space” thing often enough she no longer notices it. This close contact doesn’t sound like something I would be comfortable with.

I went through a mourning stage when my oldest kids headed to public school. It wasn’t a short quick phases, lol. Just give yourself room for your feelings.

This sounds like a really hard situation, for you, your DH and for this man - how we act on the outside is how we feel on the inside. Honestly, I think the kindest thing you can do for him right now is just have really good boundaries you and DH have agreed on and be ready to enforce those boundaries consistently without getting on his roller coaster of bad behavior.