A really nice juicer?

@lmrich he was in the ER today and I’m going to text our PA tomorrow to ask if she wants to see him once he’s home, It sounds like so far the fever and aches have bothered him the most rather than fatigue, but maybe he’s been sleeping except for finals. I’ve never heard of vomiting with mono!

Thanks, everyone. I can’t wait to see him tomorrow and get a better read on him. He’s been slogging through finals this last week, praying he did okay and we can keep him focused on rest and being as recovered as possible for spring semester.

Oldest has been really sick this week and based on symptoms, I was SURE it was flu. Fever, body aches, fatigue, sore throat and he vomited Wednesday morning. He’s coming home from college tomorrow (someone else is driving him). Today his gut was telling him it wasn’t flu, he vomited twice more this morning and he was very dizzy. Went to the ER, Covid and flu were negative. They ran blood work, start him on iv, and after an hour on iv, they send him off. Followed up shortly after that he has mono. Soooo what does it look like when he’s home? Can he lounge around the house or does he need to be isolated? Can he go out if he feels up to it? Can he see family for Christmas? Any tips are appreciated. This is a plot twist!

There’s a duality that may be important to acknowledge: you feel you are in a healthy place right now to take a step back in regular therapy sessions AND you have other financial priorities that have bubbled up - thanks to your growth and development strides, you need to prioritize putting dollars to those things - for right now, but maybe not forever. For me personally, I would keep my next standing appointment and would use it for a close out and strategy session: what are things you can do for self care during times of stress / happy stress time such as DD’s engagement, etc. What things should you look out for / unhealthy patterns you don’t want to fall back into, etc. If you have a way of emailing her ahead of the session, I would email what you have shared here and how you would like to use the time for your next appointment / last appointment in this way. That way, you both have time to process “the plan”.

Santa brings one wrapped gift for each child and does not wrap stocking things. Santa’s main elf does an excellent job curating stocking items each year that delight the kids and are a balance of fun and practical. She should probably negotiate for an end of season bonus 😉

I’m so sorry, Dawn. This sounds so hard and so much at once. Praying for y’all.

Totally agree with KungFuPanda - an hour or so to fill if you have to is way better than walking back a Yes RSVP to a wedding. I don’t see the wedding reception being over before 3:30 minimum, more likely 4. Bring a book, find a coffee shop, have an errand list. Maybe there will be a shop in that area you want to go to while you’re close to it.

If they have a Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods in their area, a gift card to one of those places would be fun. I saw an indulgent cookie we like at TJ’s has gone up to $4.50 a box, so not buying them. If I had a gift card, I might have treated us to them.

Praying!

Would you be willing to do a couple of McDonald’s gift cards - even $5 each? He might be asking for the McDonald’s cards because if his friends go their after school, games, etc it gives him social time and food and that discretionary money might be hard to come by in his family. My 16 yo can stretch a dollar at McDonald’s with the app. I understand the tangible idea, but wanted to give another perspective.

Can you find out where she gets her hair done or if she likes pedicures and do a gift card for that? It sounds like she likes what she likes and I would try to go with something that would be useful and thoughtful.

I like the idea of a targeted no spend challenge. Eating out is a huge budget drain for us and it’s been amplified by both of us working full time leaning into our jobs and me feeling so emotionally exhausted at the end of the day. I have also invested in my clothes after changing careers last year. More discipline to shop my closet instead of bringing something new in is something I could really make a point of doing now and it is one of the few things in my life I truly have control over (spending money on something just for me versus a growing kid as a PP mentioned upthread)

Oh, and I felt like I was getting in some good walking on the second day, I look at my fitness watch: .26 miles lol. It was a good reminder to be patient with myself.

Update - I’m a few days post op and recovery is going super well. Y’all weren’t playing about the shoulder pain / gas. Walking has helped the most with that. I leaned in on the advice to get the house sparkly clean and did a deep clean. I did not have meals ready in the freezer because it’s kind of a toss up for who’s around for meals and didn’t want to overprepare in that area. The belly band has been a big help and a friend sent me one of those grabber / pincher things - highly recommend! Bending all the way down to pick things up isn’t great, so this has really come in handy! So far I’m really glad I did it. It was a lot of planning and prep and praying - that it would go well and there wouldn’t be any Covid curveballs or anything else. Based on what the doctor took care of, this was 1000% the right decision for me.

If they want to hang out in part of the house that would displace others (ie finished basement where DH likes to watch tv), then yes they ask. Otherwise, they are always welcome to have friends over / stop by.

I can see all sides of this - when we host, it takes weeks of work (mixed in with regular life stuff) to ensure my house will be ready, I have tables and chairs and a fairly accurate headcount plus shopping and cooking and all the things. It is a blessing to me as a host when I know who is bringing what - some guests will tell me what they want to bring and some ask what I would like them to bring. All told, it helps me relax as the hostess knowing basics and favorites and details are covered. I’ve also been the guest who is either told what to bring or I’m asked what to bring. I want to be helpful to the host and fill a gap / need in the meal. I will be honest, and this may put me in an ungracious light, but my FOO dynamic is they are terrible guests. Too many stories, but they will ask what to bring, we will work that out and then they will bring surprise dishes and be “hurt” when theirs is the second or third of that type of dish and their dish isn’t eaten very much. I wish I could just throw my hands up and say “Jesus take the wheel” but when it’s 40 people, I want everyone to leave happy and content. Never possible with them, so it’s an acceptance and we rarely have all the people together anymore anyway.

I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs and prayers.

What about a Birkenstock clog style? It will give you good support and slip on

This sounds so hard. Praying for you both.

Praying!

I’ve heard raves about this brand, what are their best items?

What about reflecting on the most fulfilling traditions / elements to you, and either find a way to turn it into an opportunity for fellowship with your friends or give back to your community. For example, if you love the cookie part of it host a cookie exchange, if it’s a movie or wrapping, have friends over for a movie night or wrapping party. I would think about where I could lean into my tribe so that I could still feel connection and give my family a pass on what wasn’t important to them. Or one to two most important things for you and the family and then two or three activities solo or with your tribe.

Thank you, all, this is super helpful! I’m a little nervous reading about the gas issue, but now I can be prepared 🙂

I am having a laparoscopic hysterectomy in a few weeks and would love to hear any tips or items to have on hand for a smooth recovery after surgery. It’s scheduled for a very low key / low commitment time for the family and I know DH will be a one person show for household labor - he’s ready. A friend was telling me about a supportive band that was helpful for her to wear after her endometriosis surgery - would something like this be helpful for me? Lay all your suggestions on me! I know it’s a strange thing to be excited about, but I am really excited to get on the other side of this. Chronic anemia, heavy cycles, feeling like I’m working so hard to stay productive when I’m feeling awful, it has been so much window dressing,