Praying

I’m in denial that my income doesn’t magically expand to offset new purchases I want to make.

I have a 5 minute make up routine that works super well for me - a couple of cream eyeshadow sticks, eye liner and mascara - all from Thrive; and a somewhat sheer lip color. Since you also asked about hyaluronic acid, I highly highly recommend treating yourself to a facial and getting the aesthetician to recommend one that would work best for you. I was ready to pull the trigger on one and she had gotten a ton of negative client feedback on one particular brand, so she recommended something I would not have picked on my own.

@Katy and @easypeasy I have one of the Miracle Balms, and shockingly, it’s not a miracle 😂 I went with bronze and it’s probably that I just chose too subtle of a shade for me. Quill, I’ll join the chorus of do what feels right for you. For me, I’ve started wearing more make up, not less, because with video calls, I feel like I am not as washed out. My minimal routine is Thrive eye brightener in two shades blended together, Thrive eye liner and mascara and a Chanel lip stick that has more of a sheer and non sticky shine to it. It takes less than 5 minutes and for me, is a self care win when some days I barely leave my desk during work hours.

We always rent through Costco travel for rental cars. We can compare side by side rates with multiple companies and we haven’t had any issues so far.

Is he interested in trying public school? Does he have a strong opinion one way or another? What is your opinion of you local high school options?

Praying for each of you

My DH sees a phenomenal internal medicine doctor for his multi-layered health issues including autoimmune stuff. She is a source of truth and trust for DH that he hasn’t gotten in any other specialist - and she does recommend other specialists as needed.

What a mess, I’m so sorry. There are some store credit cards that do a “soft” credit check and will issue credit immediately. We unfortunately ran into this when someone had a family member’s social and opened up a credit account with a major retailer (I don’t want to say who because it was way too easy to do and created so many headaches for us). The identity thief spent thousands on the spot and we only found out when they were kind enough to have our address on the credit card statement. It didn’t show up when we first found out about the identity theft and we’re looking for opened accounts. We froze that family member’s ability to apply for credit through Experian et Al directly.

Depends on the season but I recently had a grapefruit martini that I keep thinking about and wanting to recreate

Scout, I really don’t have the right words, but am sending so many prayers to you, your church family, your community. My heart is so heavy.

Thinking of you, Dawn. Grief is a really hard and tricky thing to go through. I’m sorry your friend didn’t show up in a way that felt supportive or thoughtful to you. When my FIL passed, I had people show up in the most amazing ways that were loving and supportive. I had others that couldn’t show up in any kind of way. Sadness / hard circumstances really bring out a whole spectrum of behavior. I would probably reflect more holistically on if she’s been there for you with other hard things / as your dad declined in health. Based on my feelings about that, I would decide if I needed to pull back on what I was putting into the relationship or if maybe I was the one investing more all along. If she has been flaking out and you feel like you have the right opening, maybe it’s more of “Is everything okay with you? I feel like you haven’t quite been yourself lately” and it could lead to talking about what your experience has been.

Give all the details you have shared, I would advise my daughter to flip the script back on her supervising professor that based on what is being said about the university and it’s teachings and their lack of support of students coming from that program - because of that, there is a hostile environment for her. What are THEY going to do about it? Your daughter is being impacted in her experience from their negative opinion of the university program. Get her supervising professor and other professors in the boat with her.

IMHO, you asked your question professionally and appropriately and used the right words. And the person heard the right words and put together that their vision of a dysfunctional working relationship would not be supported by you 😂 this was a blessing, I would continue to ask critical questions to pre-screen yourself out of miserable work situations. The right opportunity that gives you the feedback lop you need to be effective will emerge a clear choice.

Sending prayers and hugs

I’m so sorry, Quill. What a hard situation filled with grief. Offering advice that you didn’t ask for - please find out how the facility measures progression / what their requirements are for your mom to keep her bed. We were not prepared when FIL was in a rehab facility and all of a sudden, it was that he may need to leave because he wasn’t progressing. But he couldn’t be cared for by MIL at home. It added an unexpected and extra layer of stress.

I’m really sorry to hear about this experience, I pray a better working solution emerges from this that values ALL of your skills and specialness.

I can relate to the babysitting mom mentioned upthread. Typically, my days are hyper scheduled but not down to the minute like she had. In fact, it is a point of frustration with friends - for example, my running partner who is single and only worries about themselves will sometimes text they are 10-15 minutes behind and that might mean I can’t make a run with them work that day. I don’t love it, but I have a very demanding FT job and DH works full time with health issues layered in. I do the majority of kid stuff, housework and emotional labor. When I’m not working, the kids are the priority, the time with them goes too fast.

I would also feel that I could help Doctor 1’s current and future patients by notifying #1 that they dismissed you when really, it was x all along.

I feel what you shared so deeply. I don’t want to derail your post with my own experience. I’m rejoicing with you that you finally have hope and a plan and the right person quarterbacking this.

When I think about romantic foods, I think it could be making a meal that you know is your date’s favorite or something that you make really well, or something (for me) that’s playful - small plates, tapas, little dishes to share, etc. And like a PP said, anything your teen boyfriend makes is romantic

Praying

What about option C - take the inheritance to buy a weekend home somewhere without an HOA that you may want to retire to?

It sounds like we are similar in wanting our households to run smoothy while adding a HUGE obligation time and energy wise into the equation. I’m here to tell you, the best hack is lower your standards. What are the must do’s or must be done daily and weekly - start there. Then distribute between you, DH and kids. Start with index cards of each thing and deal out like a deck of cards. When I went back to work FT, I also had a younger child in a hybrid homeschool model. My “weekends” were cleaning, organizing for the week ahead and homeschooling. It wasn’t sustainable. Yes, this is foreshadowing. It led to major burnout and a terrible version of myself. Timeblock time for you EVERY weekend, it’s not negotiable. Grocery shopping is not you time. Make it just as important as paying your mortgage.Learn from my biggest mistake. You and your family will be better for it

I’m so sorry. May you land quickly somewhere else that fits just as well as your latest