That is super weird and I would feel boggled by it. Has this person done anything weird around gifts before? I probably wouldn’t say anything this time, but the next time something was offered to me (is it a gift. Is it a loan?), I would say right there on the spot “when would you like this back?” to make a point of clarifying their expectations,

It is in the US and as far as I know, not hyperbole. My friend shared it with me after she brought her (rapid test) teen to their doctor.

15-50. It was a teen that the doctor said didn’t need to be tested

I personally know 6 people who have tested positive either with a home rapid and / or PCR in the last week. Mix of vaccinated and unvaccinated. All seem to have really mild symptoms. 1 of them went to their doctor after testing positive at home and doctor said they didn’t need a PCR, that they have a cold. 🙄🙄🙄

No super specific advice, but I would just say to be as generous as you can afford to be and assume that the caregivers who overlap / know each other might talk (not in an intentionally rude way, but some people surprise me with how openly they discuss $). If you feel like you want to give $ based on scale/how much they work, that’s okay!

Bark is also very easy - spread out melted white chocolate or whatever chocolate you like, sprinkle on dried cherries or apricots, almonds or pistachios, etc. Break into smaller pieces once hardened

Easiest peanut butter kiss cookies: 1 cup peanut butter, 1 cup sugar, 1 egg. Mix together, drop dough into cookie size and bake at 350, press a kiss into them when they are done baking. Fudge is pretty quick and easy - recipe on the back of the Kraft marshmallow fluff jar.

I try to stick to the $ amount for my out of pocket costs and pick something that is the best quality I can get at that price point. So, if I was going to a gift exchange and I know several people going like to cook, I might check Costco the next time I’m there for a good price on a recently released / popular cook book. I guess I’m in the moderate camp? I’m not going to knock myself out finding the 1 90% off cashmere sweater to bring to the next gift exchange, but try to maximize my spend power if that makes sense. if the limit were, say, $15 and I found a $25 item for $10, I might tuck a candy bar in with it to “be fair” to the $15 spend.

I have my youngest at a private school with that model and I also work FT. It is a huge juggle with that and my older kids at different high schools. We’ve made it work for several years. Like a wise poster said this week (so sorry I can’t remember who!) you’ll have to choose your hard.

I would absolutely go directly to the AP and let her know she has your support in holding your son accountable but absolutely crossed a line in demeaning him. on a side note, she sounds like a terrible manager / leader. I would also pray for the staff that works with her. Your son cut class by hanging out in the cafeteria. The reaction was out of proportion to the offense.

OP, I’m glad you have your own therapist and your children also have a therapist (and I hope that they feel it’s a good fit for them). Are you and your child seeing your child’s therapist together? I agree you should prioritize seeing your own therapist right now and let your child know you are working on some things and you may be in a place for joint session in the future. But not now. And if you are seeing your child’s therapist together, see if your child is open to getting a referral to a therapist that doesn’t see either one of you solo. This is not directed to you saying this is what you or your child is doing, but my mom had asked to go to therapy together when I first went low contact. I agreed. She was very disappointed when the therapist did not turn to me mid point in the first session and say that I was a bad girl and needed to get back in line. She was not ready to hear and process my experience. The second and third session she left early saying she was done. When she asked to go the fourth time, I declined and said it was too hard for me to show up and be open hearted and have her storm out each time. If she had seen her own therapist and worked on herself, that would have helped me feel like we could revisit things in the future. I was working with my own therapist and working on myself, I wasn’t willing to be the only one doing work and continue to open myself up to her hoping for a different result.

I will try to not write a novella detailing my frustrations and health issues, but a hysterectomy is a top option to address several issues I’m dealing with including chronic anemia, fibroids, heavy cycles (and they are getting closer together) and pernicious anemia. I am a couple of years away from 50 and asking my mom when she started menopause isn’t an option (I am no/low contact). I think it’s reasonable to think early 50’s for her. perimenopause has not been kind to me with weight gain and mid section weight gain. My biggest concerns around hysterectomy- what the recovery will be like (physically, mentally and my ability to work from home with limited time off) and will I pack weight on from this. I know that’s super vain. With the weight I’ve gained over the last 2 years despite being super active, the idea of having to buy all new clothes for weight gain just makes me sad. I’m completely done having kids and personally don’t feel like my uterus is a part of my identity.

You all are simply the best. Thank you for sharing such great advice and wonderful stories - just hearing how this could bless her and her family makes me want to get it to her tonight! We only have two mutual friends, so that would get tricky and we don’t go to the same church. BUT your ideas and stories helped me decide on a great option: have one of my kids address an envelope like it would be mailed, have a third party ring their doorbell and say they live around the corner, this got put in their mailbox by mistake and give it to them. Then jet. By the time they opened it, my delivery person would be long gone 🤩

What a great lesson for the kids that the adults are checked in / talking / monitoring / working as a team!

I’m so sorry - that’s so disappointing. I ran into this too the first time back to church a few months ago. People wore their mask into the building and pocketed it as soon as they were in the sanctuary. I had to move three times because I would sit masked and someone unmasked would come and sit two seats away even though many other spots were open. I wanted to ask them if they wear their seat belts? Online church for now it is!

A friend and her family are going through a hard time. Her DH has not worked since two Christmases ago (in his field) and they are both piece mealing jobs to make what they can. They have kids elementary through college ages. We’ve been there with job loss for an extended period of time and I have a heart for her as the mama going into Christmas with things super hard. I’d like to bless her with some money - ideally for a little Christmas magic - but it would be her decision how to use it. I’m torn on how to make the gift. If I offer directly, she may refuse it outright and I would respect that decision. They have a ring doorbell, so I can’t just slip it under their doormat type thing. if you’ve been on the giving or receiving end of this, can you please share ideas / tips? I’m totally good with her not knowing where it came from but would want to know she has it.

I might post on Nextdoor asking if this has happened to anyone else or has anything else walked off of people’s porches? This will give you more data if it’s a “thing” or a one off and let neighbors know. I would probably put another stocked basket of treats out....maybe with a sign up that says, “Smile! You’re on camera!” Lol

Echoing the “Meet an Imagineer” idea - over Zoom and he could draw Mickey or Star Wars stuff.

“Hey, sis, I wanted to share something with you - you may have already seen this this, but dn posted a couple of videos this weekend about sneaking out and needing a daddy. I’d want you to tell me if you saw my kids post along these lines so thought I should mention. XOXO, Mrs. Tiggywinkle” No judgement, etc. She may not appreciate the messenger and she may not say thanks. But I would feel a responsibility to say something.

Companies will have trouble hiring by not being open minded to hiring for potential / investing in people with training. I recently changed jobs after being with a company for several years. I was the top performer (including performance review ratings) but there was literally no opportunity to grow / get promoted. My team was being told we were pushing the top of the market for comp (we weren’t) and the company was starting to demand people return to the office. There was fairly new top leadership and they weren’t very communicative like the precious leader and seemed to hide more than lead. I worked with hiring teams in that job and the managers expected someone to be 110% qualified and willing to work on whatever terms the manager wanted - limited career growth, work in the office, arbitrary compensation. I was recruited by a great company that hired me for a role I was probably 70% qualified for but they saw how my skills could apply to the other 30%. Those types of hiring practices will help companies fill jobs and insulate their teams from burnout because people aren’t doing the work of 2-4 people while they are understaffed.

That frog is so cute! For the three year old, I would do a first game like Candy Land or pattern blocks or lacing cards.

I personally haven’t experienced giving a coach’s gift for the holidays and my kids have done rec, travel and school sports. Do you want to contribute? Is the money needed for something else right now? You are under no obligation to contribute and can let the team mom know “thanks for organizing, but we aren’t able to do this right now.” or “we’ve already picked up something for coach” and you could gift something you are able to do like a home baked good, etc (doing our own thing has happened when we’ve already gotten teacher gifts and then a room mom tries to organize the day before and we truly have something else).

Do you live near a Trader Joe’s? They are the champion of hors d’oeuvres. Buffalo chicken dip, walking tacos (chili poured into individual bags of Frito’s) and taco dip are heartier appetizers as well that are something different.

Your mom is not my mom, but after some very similar behavior, my switch flipped also and I called my mom out. I felt the need to “honor” her and “respect” her, so continued to answer / explain / tried to reason through my boundaries. After her continued escalating behavior to not only try to plow over my boundaries but also tried to find legal leverage to get what she wanted, I’m now no contact / super low contact. My only regret is that I wasn’t more succinct / firm / unwilling to feed the abuser from the beginning. I always knew my mom was kind of “tough” but really didn’t have the confidence or understanding of how bad it was. I will also give you a head’s up to be selective of whom you will choose to share your relationship status with regarding your mom. Our society is hit or miss on being supportive of adult children who disconnect with a parent over abusive behavior when it’s not obvious physical abuse,

Thank you @Ottakee, @lmrich and @Pawz4me! Can she also make an emergency call easily from her watch if it’s something other than a fall? The fall technology is very relevant to her, too.