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Everything posted by sassenach

  1. Ya know, it really is all about perspective. I'm commuting to Antioch all summer, so I guess I shouldn't poo poo it!
  2. I was 22 and dh 24 when we bought our first house. Things have changed but I think it's totally possible. Doesn't hurt to try!
  3. That happened to some friends of ours that moved out to Mountain House. Things really went sideways out there. I think at one point the city couldn't afford to keep street lights on at night.
  4. We had a situation like this where a coach that had worked with my son for 5 years took a turn into really over the top behavior in the name of discipline. The situation drifted over time and went from "I think we may have a problem" to crossing the line over the course of about 2 months. (end result was dh had to go to administration and the guy got fired). Don't beat yourself up about it.
  5. Diagnosis: toxic, power tripping jackass who is confusing abuse with healthy discipline.
  6. Our friends had like 200k in equity from the sale of their house but still couldn’t get a contract. Eventually, they had to borrow another 300k from their parents (who had by chance, just sold their home) so they could make an all cash offer. They refinanced to pay back the parents after the sale. It can get extra crazy in California.
  7. Just tell me what to take, Hive. I don't have it in me to do the research. I'd prefer something gentle and non-constipating; I have a bent toward tummy troubles.
  8. This whole situation is hard. I'm sorry that people above are being flippant about it. Anytime one's housing situation is suddenly threatened, that's a huge deal and SO stressful. I guess I would start by asking if you like the house and would want to own it. If so, then I like the advice above to counteroffer. Or if that doesn't work, you still have to qualify for the loan so maybe there's room to structure the contract in such a way that you can get out of it if you don't qualify for the loan of that size?
  9. I think a lyme vaccine would do better now with lyme becoming so much more of an issue (and more widely recognized). With global warming, lyme is at the top of my list. Vaccines targeting resistant bacteria would be pretty neat.
  10. I think there are 1) more locations to get vaccinated as time goes on, 2) an ebb and flow of appointments depending on supply, 3) demand is starting to dwindle because those who want it have gotten it. My county is very pro-vaccine and we're sitting at about 50% of the county with both shots and 70% with one. Two mega-sites just consolidated into one. I think we've got maybe a month or two before the mega-site is no longer necessary. DD, who has been working a mega site in Orange County, CA just had her contract extended through August. Just depends on the area.
  11. I have 2 friends that I would do an overnight with every 6 months for years and years, but both of them have recently moved away. I've never done an overnight by myself but I think it sounds lovely. Just do it!
  12. I think if we look at it as only the number of cases connected to the number of total vaccinations, that's one thing. But taking into account that it's all young women...there are a whole lot less number of vaccinations in that group. Whether it makes vaccines look bad or not, they really must take a minute to analyze the data for safety's sake.
  13. I. feel. your. pain. This is my 24yo. I can totally imagine a similar situation happening to me. No big words of advice. It's so hard to see her drowning in her own self pity and victimhood. It's a toxic way of being but I don't see any way to help her out of it, so I just pray for her. (((hugs)))
  14. It doesn't put you in a bad light at all. This is the real stuff of taking care of aging parents. We're in the thick of it with my FIL right now. It's a duty. I think you're right about going on a work day and leaving your weekends untouched. Is there a treat that you really like nearby? I reward myself with a Starbucks sometimes when I go take care of FIL. Things I give myself permission to do: Keep a visit short, skip a week, put boundaries on conversations
  15. Group homes can actually be a very good experience for mild and moderately disabled adults. It sounds like he would be capable of communicating anything abusive. Your remark about getting stuck with the bulk of the work- this is me with my FIL right now. I don't blame you for anticipating that.
  16. Yep, that's right where ds and I were sitting. He at 130 and I was more like 120's when I was awake. I dropped into the 90's when I was sleeping.
  17. Both Ds and I got mild tachycardia with our respective vaccines (Pfizer and Moderna) but I didn't think anything of it. It's a go-to reaction for both of our bodies so I just figured our immune system was working. Interestingly, I have a heart rate tracker and you could see the graph where my heart rate went from in the 90's in the middle of the night at about the 36hr mark and dropped into my normal low-70's. It was like a time stamp of when my immune system went back to normal post-vaccine.
  18. Mild to moderate joint aches and arm soreness. Nothing major. I had the most significant first shot reaction in our family but I wouldn’t call it significant.
  19. Final tally of second dose reactions: Moderna: me- BAD headache, fever, chills, muscle aches. Resolved after 36-48 hr. Felt off for a few more days. ds- sore arm for one day. Otherwise fine. pfizer: dh: no reaction. Nada. dd: slept for 18 hours. Felt good enough to go to the beach the next day. ds: low grade fever for 36hr. He’s non-verbal so I don’t know how he specifically felt but I would say he didn’t look happy. We kept him on Tylenol until the 2nd day. Day 2 he woke up smiling.
  20. I think they're going to have to work their way through this over time. Neither person can make the other be in or out of relationship with the mom. Going through the Boundaries book together is an excellent idea. I, too, have taught my kids to spot toxic from a mile away and I can kind of imagine myself in this type of situation. All you can do is encourage them to make each other the priority and work through the rest as it comes. I think minimizing your input is a good idea. They will truly need to navigate this together as a team if it's going to work (says the lady with a very toxic MIL).
  21. How did you react to the first one? Moderna has a higher side effect profile than Pfizer. Each body is different, but I think you'll be fine.
  22. I might go Pretty Woman style for awhile. Somehow kissing feels more risky than the rest of it.
  23. Believe your kids. If they tell you something is happening, do not wait to see it for yourself. Have conversations about manipulative people, in general and those in power. I feel like my kids are amazing at spotting toxic people because we've had so many conversations about friends, classmates, or adults in which I pointed out unhealthy behavior and they were later able to spot it themselves. Be present. You don't need to be a helicopter parent in order to be there enough to spot things. Drop in on practice occasionally. Volunteer. Be the driver. Talk, talk, talk. My kids talk to me about s
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