I do accept that any activity includes some risk. Every time we step outside our door (and even at home) there is some danger - natural disasters, crime, diseases, accidents happen. This does not bother me - it is part of life. But I will be ---- before I take a gun to church (if i lived somewhere this is even possible). An armed security guard outside/at the door in a dangerous neighborhood is one thing but parishioners (or priests!) carrying a gun is something I can not stomach.

I did pray for the families. But honestly, if I was one of the victims (survivor, family, neighbor etc.) of this or any other mass shooting, I would be spitting mad at all the "thoughts and prayers" with nothing else happening. Sure, if EVERYONE prayed and thought healing thoughts there would be no more shootings (or most other crime) - but realistically this is just not going to happen and people have to take personal responsibility for effecting change.

These discussions seem so pointless. Fact is, there are sick and/or evil people in the world These people will try to hurt other people The easier it is to get a gun, the more of these sick/evil people will use one While there are many ways to kill/maim, modern guns are some of the most efficient and easily used weapons There is always a dichotomy between freedom/personal rights on one hand and safety on the other At this point, the ruling majority in the US apparently feels that personal rights in regards to guns trump safety As long as that doesn't change there is nothing to be done

Our doctor recommended a home remedy while waiting: Heat up a little bit of olive oil with a few drops of lemon juice until it is pleasantly warm and pour in the affected ear. We have used this quite a bit and rarely have needed antibiotics since!

Not sure it is all on you. It is also about the other people's personality. I did not grow up in a submissive home (and if at all then in so far that children should always be respectful) and to the best of my knowledge I have never given my kids the impression that being rude to me is okay. I am VERY vocal about it but unfortunately it still happens all the time. DS makes an effort but just doesn't get why he should even show respect...

I was hoping to take part in it for the first time this year but so far it isn't looking good. The kids are on vacation this week, the house is a mess, and I am at the computer writing all day anyway (I work freelance as a translator so my working hours vary quite a bit). Still hoping things will slow down a bit so I can get started...

I am not a fan of the Diversity Lottery but don't see what it has to do with this. I mean, the program has been around for decades (in some form or another) and I haven't heard that there is some sort of sinister pattern with recipients being significantyl more likely to cause trouble. The only way to avoid anyone from outside the country causing harm is to close the borders completely. Obviously, that is not practicable but it would literally be the only way to be 100% certain (of course there would still be plenty of crime/terrorism/attacks from people within the country...) Horrible as it may sound, I think it is time to accept that a certain level of terrorist attacks will happen. Just like we accept that there are regular murders, car accidents etc. Yes, measures should of course be taken to limit the number and extent of such incidents as much as possible. But I don't see any way to completely eradicate them.

Well, I know someone who is a professor of history so there are some jobs there... Obviously, not many but if she is smart and driven I don't see why not. Maybe double-major in something more "practical".

Okay, for me the sentences themselves are totally ambigous and it is impossible to tell who said what etc. However, the situation may be different if you have a lot of background info (who got the appraisal, how they feel about it etc.) and it seems you feel that your husband had enough info to figure it out. Maybe he was more bothered by the inprecise wording than really not understanding it? I sometimes complain about things that I do understand but feel that it is worded in a way that makes it difficult. Anyway, maybe you could try to see the positive side. You said that your dh is more intelligent/smarter than you in many regards so this levels the playing field, doesn't it? Maybe try to focus on this as being an area you are better at.

Not my style. I kind of like the inside but the outside not so much.

I lived at boarding school thousands of miles from home when I was 16/17 so a detached apartment would be no problem at all (provided kid is somewhat responsible and neighborhood okay).

Yes, maybe a criteria could be overall economic stability/health instead of debt (obviously, debt could be a component of it). I would look at what industries are there, how successful they are, how good infrastructure etc. is, average income/wealth of citizens etc. Not in detail - more as a general impression (great, good, fair, bad or something). Looking at past disasters/challenges and how they have been handled might also be helpful. Politicial stability is important as well. This can be difficult to predict but I probably would stay away from investing much in a place that is already having problems in that respect.

Can't the credit card company get her the card directly to NZ? I assume that is what would happen if for example all of you were travelling there and one got lost stolen? (I think there used to be an ad with that but maybe it has changed?) I would ask her to borrow money from somewhere in NZ - if she has been there a while she might have some friends or else she probably has an advisor/homestay family etc.? She probably won't need a huge amount and it is for a short time. I am sure someone would be happy to loan her something in such an emergency. Wire transfers do depend - 10 days seems excessive but in my experience it does take around 3 business days. Western Union would probably be fastest. But honestly I would borrow the money there if at all possible so she has some right away.

No personal experience but I actually considered it the other day. But the price just seems way too high! We live overseas so our prices (both in stores and for boxes) are different but it was easily 3 or 4 times as much as I usually spend (I think). I do like the idea of someone else chosing/trying something new a lot though. When I look up new recipes they often require ingredients I don't have at hand and that would be kind of a waste (e.g. I don't want to buy a bottle with a different kind of vinegar if I just need a teaspoon full of it). So I usually just switch out things or leave them out completely which kind of defeats the purpose of a recipe. I am tempted to at least try one of the boxes if there is a free/reduced offer that sounds good. On the other hand, my kids are quite picky (no fish/seafood, no white sauces, little or no cheese, no mushrooms etc.) so many dishes would not work for us.

Well, what do you enjoy/what would you like? For me inexpensive options would be a book, a jigsaw puzzle, a video game, a nice soap, favorite candy, bath salts, a notebook/diary to write in, some arts/crafts supplies, a couple of pens, a nice bowl, a calendar, cute socks, a winter hat, a new watch (yes, I generally get ones for less than $10).... yes, I am fairly easy to get a present for! But your interests may be quite different so I would start there.

I would cancel in writing (i.e. per mail, maybe registered?), try to keep cancelling other ways, and note in my letter that this is not appropriate business behavior. Cancel the card. If she can't cancel in spite of doing all she can it is a scam and she could maybe complain to some agency? Generally, if you make a stink they will let you go (this happened years ago to me when I accidentally clicked on something without realizing I was signing up for it) I guess I would try to see whether this is a case of a) her not paying attention (e.g. if you order Netflix and forget to cancel it or b) the site being set up to scam people. My recommendation above is in case of b). For a) I would just tell her to suck it up (but likely that one wouldn't be too expensive).

I struggle a bit with this. Older ds has various devices and I don't monitor at all as he is adamantly opposed to it. I kind of would like the occasional peek just to make sure there is nothing concerning but it isn't worth the fight. I actually don't think there is anything wild going on (based on personality etc.). He doesn't use his phone after bedtime during the week (I would notice) so that is something and he doesn't have it at school. I actually don't think he does a lot of texting/social media. Mostly interested in computer games. Younger ds doesn't have a phone yet but will probably get one fairly soon. He does have a tablet but I don't think uses it for social media etc. He probably would let me look at his stuff without throwing a fit. I guess I feel slightly negligent with older ds but have seen no warning signs/don't think anything wrong is going on so I think I will just let it be unless something changes. Edited to add: Older ds is actually 15 and in 10th grade so doesn't really correspond to the question now that I come to think of it. Younger ds is almost 13 and in 7th grade.

Okay, so what I would do: If I am not mistaken you have (for now) pretty much eliminated everything but the Caribbean and New Zealand/Fiji/Vanuatu. I wouldn't use country debt as a metric but would instead look at a) likelihood for natural disasters (based on historical data): Of course that won't be perfect and climate change makes this even more iffy. Still, I would assume that some islands are in a better (safer) location than others b) likelihood of serious impact (e.g. low lying areas flood more easily) c) wealth/financial ability of country/political stability - debt may be part of this but not necessarily a major factor. I would feel better about a country with more debt that has also higher employment, better infrastructure etc. than one with little debt that has none of these As far as infrastructure is concerned, I hear what you are saying but not sure I agree that it is wasteful spending (probably because I am rather spoiled in that regard). I do think infrastructure (again thinking of roads, power grid etc.) for example in the US or Mexico is okay. But the better infrastructure is the better it can generally withstand potential problems. If you only have one road and it gets blocked you are in trouble. If there are several options it will be easier (though there can of course be too many roads). If power lines are above ground they are more vulnerable in storms etc. I would guess that if Puerto Rico had had a great power grid before the storm it would be easier to restore it.

And apparently everyone else can see it :sad: :sad:. I now see a large field for the post but no picture... I will try again later and hopefully it will work! Yep, now it is working for me as well. And those do look cool!

The one thing that would worry me about the Caribbean (as a permanent residence) is hurricanes/infrastructure. Of course crime/medical services etc. are also considerations but I don't know much about indivdual countries there to have any input. As always it is a matter of personal preference - a lusher landscape goes with either cooler temperatures or more rain, better infrastructure generally goes with higher cost of living, etc. It really depends on which criteria are most important to you.

Should there be a picture attached or something? I am sure they look great - just not sure what "they" are?

Yes, Alabama can get quite chilly in the winter but it is fairly short. Still, if you are planning to travel in the summer to avoid heat/humidity it doesn't make sense to travel in the winter as well. Those visa are expensive! Yikes. I have been thinking of splitting my time between different places once the kids are older (e.g. spend part of the winter in Spain, early summer in England, etc.). Luckily, I wouldn't have to worry about a visa for Europe (well, not for the most part anyway). But given your parameters: green, warm climate, English speaking, not too far from the US - it does look like you are pretty much stuck with the Caribbean?

I would ask for: *Pre-trip cultural preparation class ​*Help with finding/securing housing, setting up a bank account/paperwork etc., drivers license Company car (or help in getting a vehicle) *Relocation expenses *Language classes Tuition for International/American school/nursery school (not sure how old your kids are) - you'd have to see whether homeschooling would be a possibility (it isn't everywhere) *Tax preparation/advise *Good health insurance (might be automatic there) *Maybe flights back to the States Additional money to adjust cost of living (Czech Republic may be comparatively cheap but you would want to cover additional cost due to taxes, two homes (if you keep your US home) Depending on how long you are planning to go for, a job after your return or help finding one, relocation back home I did a secondment (18 months) to the US from Europe about 15 years ago and that was pretty much what I got. We had a two day intercultural training in our home country, three weeks of training in the US (language and general stuff), got a flight home once a year, had our taxes done for us, and got a set amount for relocating both ways. As it was a limited time program we had our old jobs to come home to. The company offered decent health insurance (for all employees). We also got a lump payment (I want to say maybe two months salary) at the beginning to help pay housing deposits, get a car, furniture (relocation money wasn't enough to take a huge amount with us) etc. We earned the same (more or less) as regular American employees with the same experience. However, our office in the home country also paid us half of the regular yearly salary in addition to what we earned in the US. I didn't have kids/spouse so don't know what they would have done for them. Please note that the above was for something that was more of an "exchange program". While we all had worked for the company for a couple of years and worked just as much as regular employees etc. we were not experts in the sense of doing something others could not (other than of course an exchange of ideas/intercultural/language etc.). If your husband has some very specific, in demand skills I would expect the package to be better. Relocating is EXPENSIVE so I would look for at least a decent package (Unless this is a great career step worth more than the package itself)

I don't know whether Malta is green enough for you though? You might also consider some of the Spanish islands (depending on what is going on with Spain) - I think there are a lot of expatriates there so you could probably find a place with enough English speakers. As far as Alabama is concerned, it does stay warmish most of the year. You might still want to do a bit of traveling after relocating so if you moved e.g. to Alabama you could do a bit of travelling during winter months. It is close to water (and lots of lakes etc.) and hilly and green. It gets quite humid of course in the summer but as you were thinking of the Caribbean that might not bother you.

A lot will depend on where you go (col, language etc.), for how long, and what they are offering (e.g. large companies that send many people overseas usually have a set policy). Tell us a bit more and maybe we can help better.