Thanks for posting the link.

I am sorry that you encountered misguided people who allow ideology to prevail over humanity. Unfortunately it seems to be rather common. I once knew a woman who seriously stated that she could not continue friendship with a woman who chose not to nurse her baby.

Just one more insecure parent living vicariously through their child. Some parents push their tykes to fly planes, to swim endurance-style, and hosts of other endeavors the parent either failed at or fell short. I agree with whomever called it for what it was: exploitation. It may have been cute if the child was doing an imitation all in fun. As a ten year old, one of my cousins performed a terrific impression of his hellfire brimstone fundamentalist storefront preacher uncle. He had his uncle's facial contortions, voice inflections, drawing in of breath, and pulpit pounding down to a tee. His pious old grandma, who had dozed off while watching soap operas, woke up to his "preaching." She yelled that he was blaspheming and hurled a shoe in his direction. He ducked quickly as the shoe smacked into her mobile home window.

How uplifting! I hope she continues on the path of opening up to love and trust.

Excellent advice. I believe that if the above advice is strictly followed, including not talking often if person persists, the problem Imp has presented will be solved.

The pastor's wife was probably forming mental image of your situation based upon what you were telling her. Her image may or may not have been accurate. The pastor's wife probably thought that your situation was much more strained than merely a "few bad days." You know far more about your situation than she does. Then again maybe she sees some things with an outsider's eye that you do not. How is it "defeat" for you to put your children in regular school if, after soul searching assessment, that is what is best for them? In my opinion, "defeat" would be continuing a pattern that is not effective for the mother or the children. If you only wanted reassurance from her or others that everything would be ok, make it clear upfront that you are seeking encouragement for continuing homeschooling. Otherwise, people naturally think that you truly are asking their opinion on how to solve your problem. Only you know how your children are progressing. You are in Pennsylvania. Although I do not know what their hsing laws are, I do recall that they are one of strictest for hsing. Are you meeting required minimum per state law? Would they be performing at grade level according to state standards? Are your children progressing to your satisfaction? Do you have a schedule of material to be covered daily, weekly, monthly? Have you mostly met your educational goals? If you break out your "good days, bad days, and impossible days" , what does homeschool look like on the bad and impossible days and what percent of days fall under the bad and impossible categories? Frankly I do not believe that "just doing the basics" cuts it as a long term solution. Do you function well enough mentally to hold down a regular paying job? If not, traditional schooling may indeed be what is most appropriate for your situation. Only you know the answer to your question. You have a child who is having daily meltdowns. You currently are no medicated. Hopefully both of you will seek treatment and counseling and arrive at an educational decision that is best for all of you. The decision about your children's educational future needs to be made after an honest objective assessment that does not rely too heavily upon religious or sociopolitical ideologies. Remember this is your children's future. Even though dark depression is not organically contagious, it permeates the atmosphere of the home. I would be surprised if spouse and children can remain optimistic in face of it. I recommend a Martin Seligman book titled Learned Optimism that may help you develop healthier thinking patterns. There is also a version for children aptly titled The Optimistic Child.

:iagree: Motherhood definitely is unappreciated in terms of financial compensation. When a woman chooses to leave (or never enter) the paying workforce, she becomes dependent upon her husband's benevolence. Sure, the household income theoretically belongs to both partners, but that is not always the way it works out in real life. Should the marriage go awry, a SAHM can possibly find herself remaining in unfulfilling marriage because of financial constraints. As for other peoples' possible underappreciation of motherhood, my first response is why do we need outside validation of our career choices? It is up to the individual to find a satisfying life's work or mission for herself, whether that be a SAHM, WAHM, WOHM, or the acronym of her choice. I believe it is emotional hyperbole when people claim that parenthood is the hardest job and most underappreciated. There are many careers that are essential to a well functioning society, yet no one fawns over those workers. Almost anybody can be a parent. To perform adequately as a parent, one needs emotional maturity,mental stability, compassion, an understanding of human development, and sufficient time and financial resources for rearing children. Speaking purely from personal experience, I have worked both as a mother and as a professional. Hands down, motherhood was the easier of the two in spite of having special needs child.

I feel no obligation to answer the door or to provide a snack or drink to uninvited people. I presume the missionaries are aware of their schedule for the day and have had made satisfactory arrangements to handle their food, drink, and restroom needs. If I do answer the door, a simple "I'm not interested" prior to closing door should suffice. There is no need to be rude, to attempt to convert the missionaries to your brand of religion, or to ask them to help you with chores.

It is all in the delivery and in the consideration of privacy, which will vary depending upon medium. Is it bad form to share bad news?

A strong unequivocal NO, pool owners are not obligated to let others use their pool.

I read your post followed by noting your daughter's age. My gut instinct is that, yes, you are being unreasonable. I do not know what "independence" and "fun things" look like with a fifteen month old.

No. I would put up a fence with a combination lock on gate.

Yes, it would bother me. Guests should be prompt when dinner is being served. Definitely I would not invite them to dinner again, but maybe coffee and dessert instead since those are not time sensitive.

1. I consider my pasty-white skin beautiful and have no qualms about exposing it. In fact, I take measures to keep my skin white by wearing sun-shielding hats outdoors, avoiding swimming during most intense times for UV rays, and wearing sun block. My thighs are flabby and jiggle after rest of body is not in motion. I do not hide them. 2. Go for the classically tailored clothing that never goes out of style. Lands End, LL Bean, and others always have such items in stock. They may cost more upfront, but in the long run it is worth it because of the versatility, durability, and non-trendiness.

No.

:iagree: I have always been suspicious of pet names, sweepingly dramatic overt romantic gestures, etc, particularly when there is not sufficient basis (or time) for those feelings to have evolved past infatuation. Far too many women fail to ask themselves logical questions and simply eat up the fawning b.s. Of course, the b.s. flows in the female to male direction too.

Exactly. To ask for either permission or blessing indicates that asker probably is expecting a positive affirmation. If a couple cannot confidently reach a decision about marriage on their own, maybe they are not ready to marry. Do people really ask for blessing when they expect a negative response? I do not expect other adults, parents included, to "bless" my life decisions about marriage, cohabitation, homeschooling, or any number of lifestyle choices. However, they do need to respect the decisions. If a couple felt the need for advice or input from other important adults in their life, then wouldn't the time for such advice be BEFORE they developed the intent to marry?

Exactly. My perpetually miserable (now ex) brother in law looked up his former high school sweetheart on the internet. Bil had been with my disabled sister for 13 years. Sweetheart had been married 31 years to her husband, who was disabled by stroke 11 years prior. Once they were having their affair, it was all justified because they had "always been unhappy" with their respective spouses. Never had either of them sought marriage or personal counseling. It's human nature I guess to not make a move until you spot greener grass.

We use both the front and back covered porches. My swing along with other furniture is on front porch. My beloved sky chair, hot tub, and patio set are on back porch. We also have a covered porch/balcony on front 2nd floor. Two bedrooms have French doors that lead out onto balcony. It unfortunately does not get used to its fullest potential.

I appreciate your voice of reason and your willingness to delve into analytical detail.

No.

I used to always leave a voicemail for both business and personal calls. However, for personal voicemails, I detected a pattern of the voicemails being ignored. Instead, the personal caller just returned my call. There were a few odd moments where I mistakenly assumed the person had listened to my voicemail when they had not. Eventually I stopped leaving voice mails for personal calls. I have found that texts generally garner a response at far higher rate than voicemails do.

:iagree: Affairs have mostly everything to do with the character and viewpoint of the one engaging in the affair and probably very little to do with shortcomings of spouse. People tend to rationalize their own affairs as pure sacrosanct love and tell themselves that it just happened or that it happened because the were not loved enough by the spouse. Affairs do not just happen, and it is silly to claim unconsciousness. They require careful planning and execution depending upon circumstances. It is always the other person's affair that is tawdry and backstreet. One phenomenon that I find interesting is that it seems that women tend to get a freer pass than do men for adultery.

:iagree: I do not find it the least bit nostalgic or respectable. Personally I find it creepy in the same way I find "pledging purity" to a parent creepy.

The original poster was speaking in generalities. She was not referring to one or even two specifically identifiable situations.