springmama Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Do your homeschooled kids get regular playtime with friends? We used to get together with friends for playdates 2-3 times a week and we miss this greatly. I just don't know how to fit it into our schedule without impeding on homeschool and chores. I'm hoping once the baby (almost 1) gets bigger and less needy, my chore time will go more smoothly but right now, with homeschooling my almost 6 year old, a messy 3 year old, a needy baby and an even needier teenager, plus a 3300 sq foot house with 3 play areas ( I know, I know), we just don't have time for anything extra anymore. So, those of you who have active social lives and/or activity schedules, how do you fit it all in? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danybug Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 I only have one dc old enough to have playdates but I definitely always fit it in on the weekends. Otherwise I feel bad thinking he needs some interaction with his peers. We usually have a friend come over here on Saturday late morning. Or even Sunday after church. Whether it is someone from the neighborhood, a cousin, church friend or a soccer friend. I find it actually frees me up. My ds is entertained and not looking for me to be the entertainer, so I can accomplish a lot more chores around here or have some downtime. You should definitely try to at least occasionally squeeze it in. That way your kids may be somewhat out of your hair to accomplish things and refreshed from having playtime with others outside your family. Or next time they may be asked to go to their friends house and then you will have more time to yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinmom Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 It is very difficult, and it will get easier as the kids get older. Around here, we do have lots of playdates. In order to accomplish this, the kids know that they MUST have their chores done before they play. This means that they must do the following every morning: clean up rooms make beds empty dishwasher brush teeth put away breakfast dishes and every afternoon when school is done: pick up playroom put away laundry I've laid out for them put away school stuff pooper-scoop the yard Then, after friends leave and before dinner: pick up all toys in the house, wherever they are clean up rooms any extras I give them, like vacuuming or wiping tables, etc. Your kids are probably too little to do all of this independently, but they'll get there. Start now with a routine, having them do it all beside you or with your teen helping (give him/her an allowance for teaching the kids how to clean up). They'll grow into it. In the meantime, don't be too hard on yourself. You can't do everything! The house doesn't have to be perfect to have a playdate or two over. Your friends' homes probably look just like yours, if they have kids! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Honestly, playdates (and I hate that word!!) have never been a huge priority for me. I will do them if it is convenient, but I typically don't go out of my way. When they were little the kids playdates usually revolved around MY playdates (they played with the kids of my friends). Now that they are older we seem to have fallen into the pattern of playing with friends after church on Sunday. Either they will go to a friends or come to our house, but they all live pretty close to us, so I don't have to go too far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. Frankweiler Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 I wish we had more playtime! We just moved and we're still trying to find our niche with the homeschoolers of this new town, so interaction with other kids on a regular basis is not as much as I would like it to be. But, enough with my problems....what's your school schedule like? Are they usually done by the time the ps kids are back from school? Do the kids have neighbor friends that they can play with in the afternoon? That might be all the playtime they need. I think a scheduled Saturday playdates is also a great idea! -Mrs. F Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 I'm lucky to have some regular away from home play times for my dc. I go to ladies' class at church every Tues. morning for an hour and while I'm in class my kids get to play with the other mom's kids. They are all homeschoolers too, so there are kids my dd6's age. We also go to a co-op every other Friday where they do activities with kids their ages and even get to play outside on the playground together for about 20 min. each time. They also play a few minutes after church services, so they get plenty of time to see their friends every week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 I don't schedule play dates. My boys play with my friend's children, they play with the children on the street, and they play with the children from church. Mostly, the two young ones play with each other. The play time with children on the street are in small doses. They only play outside with them -- not inside. I've never been one to feel that children need interaction with children any more than adults need interaction with other adults. An only child, in my opinion, could present different needs, but I've tried to bring my boys up to find creative outlets without needing constant attention from others. Time with others should also not be a negative thing, and I will not allow my children to play with people that negatively impact their lives. I don't care what the childrens' religion, ethnicity, or whatever is, but if they're rude and damaging, my children don't spend time with them. I'm not talking about the little bits of normal childishness we all experience -- I'm talking about children who are outright rude, make fun of others, curse, damage property, etc. As my boys get older, they tend to desire closer companionship (like adults in my opinion), so we teach them how to choose those few special friends -- ones who bring out the best in you, who are a benefit to you and to whom you can benefit. They also have to be people that are not a stumbling block. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 We have relatively few designated play activities. We have piano lessons, book club and co-op with friends and, when the weather is conducive, the boys play at the park with friends after co-op, while their sister is at art class. Even without an infant, I can't imagine having 2 - 3 play activities scheduled in a week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 DD5 plays each week with three close friends before their dance class in a playroom right across the hall from her dance studio (at our community center). We usually fit in another playdate either in that playroom, at a friend's house, or at an outside location such as a park or museum, on another day of the week. DS has a standing playdate while his big sister is in her dance class, so we do have everything sort of packed together in order to make it all work out (we live quite a distance from most of their friends, but all of our outside activities take us close to them those two days a week). In addition, one afternoon a week is homeschool playgroup, which is a ton of fun for them, and a lovely break for the moms, as well. My kids are close enough in age that they play with each other, and I try to be as flexible as possible with our routine so that we can take advantage of special opportunities to spend time with friends. What we tend to find is that it is the ps schedule that really gets in the way. Most of the kids we know are in school until at least 3:30, and then have after-school activities, homework, and early bedtimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 My kids have always kept busy and "socialized" during and around other scheduled activities. For example, at our church, the kids go to Sunday school before the service. They then sit in on the first 15 minutes or so of the service before heading out to the playground together. My son sings with a choir, and in addition to their regular rehearsals and performances, they do a number of fun, social things. Just this weekend, my son and I spent from Friday evening through Sunday morning camping with the group. The boys hung out, played football and flashlight tag, went canoeing, etc. Both of my kids are also into theatre and various performing things. So, they end up with a lot of free hours during rehearsals (when they have to be in the building but aren't "working") and backstage and so on to hang out and play with the other kids. Oh, and he does play now and then with the kids next door. There's an age difference, though. Every now and then, we will make a "date" for him to play with a friend, but mostly it's the kind of stuff I mentioned above. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 I never scheduled "play dates." My dc could play with the neighborhood dc in the afternoon, if we were home, and sometimes my other hs friends and I would get together, but certainly not weekly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 We don't have playdates either. Where we used to live they were done when I went to a friends. Fortunately ds liked my friends children. Here he plays with the kids in the neighborhood. Some of them can only play on the weekend, so that's his main playtime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 The boys play with other children (apart from structured activities like scouts) about every two weeks. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 We don't schedule playdates, but we live in an area with lots of children to play. Several close families homeschool too, so ds just runs outside and starts calling out names, and children come out:lol:...recess for longer than 20 min, riding bikes, building forts and bridges out of fallen tree limbs, and moms yummy snacks when it's time to come in ....my kids are spoiled:tongue_smilie: If I didn't live here and my dc were the only kids for miles around, I would build in playtime around our other outings - ideally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
springmama Posted February 9, 2009 Author Share Posted February 9, 2009 Thanks for all of the replies. I guess I'm just spoiled! I wasn't talking about scheduling playdates, more like time with friends. They have a decent number of homeschooled friends, all who are the kids of my friends, so when I say playdates, I mean for the grownups too. Our little social circle is pretty active. About 2-4 times a week one of my friends will send an email to our email list (just for our closeknit circle of friends) announcing that they are going to the zoo, or to the library, or to a local playground, asking if anybody would like to join in and in the old days, we would jump at the chance to meet a friend at Chick Fil A for lunch or at the playground for an afternoon of playing but now we just don't find the time. Now, I'm always declining these invitations because we have chores or school or whatever and I really miss being able to just go and go all day, visiting friends, playing at the playground, or going to the zoo on a whim..... I guess it's time to be a grown up, lol! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyWImom Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Our problem is that we don't live in town, so there are no neighbors to play with, and most of the friends they have (through hsing) aren't close. At least 35min for one and 45min away for the others. So it can never be a casual thing-oh, lets come over for an hour. Because of that, it takes up a lot of time, and is hard to squeeze in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Thanks for all of the replies. I guess I'm just spoiled! I wasn't talking about scheduling playdates, more like time with friends. They have a decent number of homeschooled friends, all who are the kids of my friends, so when I say playdates, I mean for the grownups too. Our little social circle is pretty active. About 2-4 times a week one of my friends will send an email to our email list (just for our closeknit circle of friends) announcing that they are going to the zoo, or to the library, or to a local playground, asking if anybody would like to join in and in the old days, we would jump at the chance to meet a friend at Chick Fil A for lunch or at the playground for an afternoon of playing but now we just don't find the time. Now, I'm always declining these invitations because we have chores or school or whatever and I really miss being able to just go and go all day, visiting friends, playing at the playground, or going to the zoo on a whim..... I guess it's time to be a grown up, lol! It sounds like you have a bit too much on your plate just now. Is there any way you can cut at least one day a week to the bare minimum so you guys can have some free time? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Our co-op wasn't working for me anymore so two mom friends and I who have kids similar ages get together once a week for two hours to play and go on a nature walk. We share similar educational goals and our kids get along. It is great for them. The kids are nice. And best of all, I get a chance to be with other moms. The park days are short and at a set time, we rotate to parks near each others house and bring our own food so that we have built-in backup plans. We take the kids on a nature walk then let them play outside. The fresh air is good for us all. And yes, we do even bundle them up in snow suits and take them out in bad weather - they need it. Maybe instead of the random meetings with friends, a scheduled time weekly or every other week would be better for you. It would make sure that you get a break to see your friends too. Going from being very social to having no interaction at all is probably a recipe for resentment and isolation. Moms need time to talk to real life people too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetpeach Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Play-dates and being together with other children and mom-friends tops very high on my list of priorities. During the week, we do school in the morning . . . 8:30 till noonish, M-Th. Fridays are for friends and being together. Sometimes that looks like a formal homeschool group and sometimes informal, unstructured playdates. I stand by the idea that children become adults who will need to work together with others for the rest of their lives. For us, community is key. I don't enjoy conflict and even less when my children have to work it out with their little friends, but it is a necessary skill that must be developed. Assertiveness, self-confidence, compassion, speaking up or not is best learned IRL. Kids learn to assess the personality landscape, watch themselves and others via play. I fit the other things in my life around school and play . . . laundry, bathrooms, baking, life gets done after. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 I think with kids your kids ages and a home like you have - your house would be the natural play place. Your 14 yo could hang out in the comfort of their room (or elsewhere), the baby could nap and the other kids could play. It sounds like you have friends - you just want more time with them. So - schedule it. Friday afternoons at 1 - meet at my house. The kids play, you socialize, the baby sleeps. Most moms will jump at the chance to hang out without hosting or cleaning. It's good motivation for your kids - get the chores done or you sit and watch everyone play for x amount of time. Maybe make it Wednesday? Throw dinner in the crock pot on those days. Make it the 5th school day of the week (we school 4 heavy one light). If you want it to happen - then make it happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Closeacademy Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 We block aside Fridays for socialization, physical education, and working with groups skills. During this time the children learn how to negotiate, work together, help one another, play nicely, interact with others, make friends, how not to be a bully, and lots of other great things. We spend 1 1/2 on planned group activities and up to 3 hours (including lunch) on free play. This time is great for all of us because they are learning how to make strong friendships and playing nicely while the adults are giving each other home school support. Personally, I think this time is just as important as phonics, math, penmanship, Latin, or anything else the children could be doing. It gets us all out of the house and gives us time to relax, have fun and connect with others. Hope you find what you are looking for. Our group includes babies right up to teens who often take off with the babies and toddlers to push them on swings or play with them. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coralloyd Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Here's how we do things: Mon. Tues. Thur.-We do school in the morning from 10-1 Wed. - school in the afternoon from 1-3, because we have a play day at the park with friends from 10:30-12:30 (we take a pack lunch) Fri.- I go to a MOM Time group at a friends house from 10-12, where the kids get to play (We don't do school on Fri. except for catch -up every once in a while at about 1:30 or 2). Also: Tues. -my dd6 goes to a Choral group 2:30-4:30 Thur.- dd6 to Pioneer Club 3-4:30 Sun.- Awana (dd6 and dd4) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 My kids see other kids a lot. I do childcare from home, so there are usually other kids here. Ds takes gymnastics and taekwondo, and then we also see friends from church. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in PA Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Do your homeschooled kids get regular playtime with friends? We used to get together with friends for playdates 2-3 times a week and we miss this greatly. I just don't know how to fit it into our schedule without impeding on homeschool and chores. I'm hoping once the baby (almost 1) gets bigger and less needy, my chore time will go more smoothly but right now, with homeschooling my almost 6 year old, a messy 3 year old, a needy baby and an even needier teenager, plus a 3300 sq foot house with 3 play areas ( I know, I know), we just don't have time for anything extra anymore. So, those of you who have active social lives and/or activity schedules, how do you fit it all in? Not as much as we used to. It was a season of life for us, when my oldest was preschool aged. Once our school days got really full, and my kids had one another to play with, we cut back quite a bit. Now we rarely have family playdates. Our kids have their own friends over maybe once a month, but they all see their friends regularly at our weekly co-op and at church. I think for most families, entire family playdates tend to phase out once their children are school-aged. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 We block aside Fridays for socialization, physical education, and working with groups skills. During this time the children learn how to negotiate, work together, help one another, play nicely, interact with others, make friends, how not to be a bully, and lots of other great things. We spend 1 1/2 on planned group activities and up to 3 hours (including lunch) on free play. This time is great for all of us because they are learning how to make strong friendships and playing nicely while the adults are giving each other home school support. Personally, I think this time is just as important as phonics, math, penmanship, Latin, or anything else the children could be doing. It gets us all out of the house and gives us time to relax, have fun and connect with others. Hope you find what you are looking for. Our group includes babies right up to teens who often take off with the babies and toddlers to push them on swings or play with them. :001_smile: :iagree::iagree:I like everything you said. I have found the easiest way to include socializing with other children into our schedule for my DD7 is just to invite a friend over and have her do what every we are doing. We have a 4-H friend (ps kid) over every Wednesday. She is dropped off after school by her older sister and spends the afternoon with us. If my DD is not done with school, ps friend does it with her, or sits and listens. If I'm going to Walmart - the girls both come with me. If we are doing a homeschool art project, I let the friend do it too. I take them both to Awanas at 6:00 pm and her mom picks them up. Most of the time, having a friend over for DD7 means I have more free time, not less. I also let DD7 go to other kid's houses on the weekends. ( a select few) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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