My mom… 🙄

[saraha]

There have been dire weather predictions all day here, where I live, where ds24 lives and where dds 23 and 19 are in school even though we are all spread out. The weather troubles are all over. My mom just called. She asked how we were, if it was over (yes) and asked about ds24. Note she only asked about her favorite, not my other kids not living at home) She asked if he had a safe place to get to (way too late for that but 🤷🏼‍♀️)

Me: Yes, the laundry room on the first floor.
Mom: Did you call him and tell him to go into it? 
Me: No but I did hear from him.

Mom: What?!? Why not?!? Proceeds to start to tell me off

Me interrupting: Because he’s 24 years old

Mom: So what?!? Just because he’s 24 years old doesn’t mean he knows that! 

Then she hung up on me. I immediately texted ds24 to warn him but she beat me to him. He said she called and asked if he had a basement, he said yes and she seemed satisfied and said goodbye. Keep in mind this is over an hour after all the watches and warnings expired, at least it would have made sense if she had called earlier in the day…

She called me three times last week, left two messages and ds13 answered one. She wanted to make sure that I told the kids not to look directly at the sun during the eclipse. But leaving a message wasn’t enough, she needed verbal confirmation. Because we are all too dumb. She does this to me all the time, so I try really hard to check myself before I call my young adults with unsolicited advice. I did touch base with each one today, but I’m trying to respect them in a way she has never respected me. If she would have called early in the day when they were sending kids home from school and closing businesses, it would have made sense and I would have chalked it up to her anxiety, but I don’t understand waiting to call after and wanting to give advice. And then hanging up on me. To me that doesn’t sound like anxiety, but I could be wrong

PS- I can’t see what my signature says on my phone but my kids range in age 13 to 24, so no little ones 🙄

Edited April 3 by saraha

[Bambam]

Wow. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. You do so much better than I would. 

[Arcadia]

Maybe she just watched the evening news about the dire weather and is bored enough to call.  As for calling her favorite grandchild, my in-laws and some of my relatives are guilty of that. They would see something on the news and call their favorites to make sure everything is fine. 
As for the solar eclipse warning, some people are just overbearing and loves to put people down. I know my MIL was kind of upset when her adult kids that are not her favorite doesn’t oblige her anymore. She made many snide remarks about how ungrateful they are. 

[sgo95]

Your mom needs to feel superior.  She sounds like a handful to put up with.  As someone looking from the outside, it's partly funny and partly pitiful how busy she is playing games with you all.

[Kassia]

We need a big facepalm emoji.  She is exhausting.  

[saraha]

6 minutes ago, sgo95 said:

Your mom needs to feel superior.  She sounds like a handful to put up with.  As someone looking from the outside, it's partly funny and partly pitiful how busy she is playing games with you all.

Right?!? I am getting to the point where it is funny. Getting there

3 minutes ago, Kassia said:

We need a big facepalm emoji.  She is exhausting.  

It is

[Innisfree]

25 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

Maybe she just watched the evening news about the dire weather and is bored enough to call.

I was wondering if she was bored, too. She sounds like she enjoys lots of drama.

[gardenmom5]

14 minutes ago, Innisfree said:

I was wondering if she was bored, too. She sounds like she enjoys lots of drama.

I remember one day telling mil I was glad I was able to meet her need to complain.   She was living with us at the time...

She proceeded storm around the house ranting that she didn't like being angry.  I got a break from her, and a good chuckle out of it.

[prairiewindmomma]

Her anxiety is running high. So glad you can find space to laugh. 

[saraha]

She has been calling a lot since her birthday. 3 times during the week about the eclipse, then the evening before Easter. She did not invite us for Easter, she never once mentioned Easter. She did the same thing at Christmas. I’m pretty sure it was a test. I was not willing to let her be alone for Christmas, but after her birthday, I was not bending over backwards for Easter. If she didn’t invite us or mention it, I wasn’t either. I think she kept calling to give me opportunities to bring up Easter but I didn’t and she didn’t.

All the kids plus some extras were here for dd17’s birthday Saturday and Easter Sunday and my mom called Saturday evening. Usually I answer it or let it go to voicemail, but dd23 answered it and it was my mom calling to wish each person by name one at a time a happy Easter to dd23. She was all “since you aren’t coming for Easter please tell Ds24 Happy Easter and dd20 Happy Easter etc til she got through everyone. Dd23 just said ok grandma and happy Easter to you too! And hung up.
She didn’t invite us to Easter. Im pretty sure she called Saturday night to give me one more chance. It’s totally her m.o. she never invites us, I always have to initiate the holiday plans.  I’m hoping that the calls will fall off like normal soon. 

As a side note to anyone that followed her birthday party, after we got home dh told me about the Chinese restaurant that I didn’t see. There were 11 of us total and they pulled some tables together for us. After mom made us all sit down, she told everyone to go make their plates. Mom, dh, and most of my kids got up and headed toward the buffet. I stayed behind as my back was out and dd19 was making my plate, as did my sister, her boyfriend and dd23. We were just chatting. I guess mom was walking with dh and she turned around and saw the 4 of us sitting there and she stopped and started back. Dh asked what? And mom was like why are they all sitting there like that. They need to get up and make their plates. Dh told her we were fine and we’d probably make plates when everyone else came back. She was like, they need to get up now and make their plates. As she started to walk back, he reached out and put his hand on her arm and said sternly they are fine. Let’s go make our plates. He said she stood there for a minute, but then went to make her plate. 😆 He also said she tried to tell him what all to put on his plate from the buffet as he decided to be her buddy so she wouldn’t harass anyone else. She doesn’t like seafood but he does so he made sure to nicely turn down her suggestions and fill his plate with all seafood. Then at the table, as he tried each thing he offered her a bite til she finally snapped stop offering me your disgusting food, which made the whole table laugh. 😆

 

 

[saraha]

She just called both my house phone and my cell phone. I didn’t answer because she hung up on me last night and there couldn’t possibly be something I needed to know she couldn’t leave a message about. She left a voicemail on my cell phone saying I didn’t have to call her back, she just wanted to call and thank me again for the wind chimes and the birthday dinner, she really enjoyed seeing all the kids at the restaurant. 
She’ll say I don’t need to call her back, but she doesn’t mean it. I guess this was trying to make up for hanging up on me, without saying, sorry I hung up on you. 🤷🏼‍♀️🙄

 

[Harriet Vane]

11 minutes ago, saraha said:

She just called both my house phone and my cell phone. I didn’t answer because she hung up on me last night and there couldn’t possibly be something I needed to know she couldn’t leave a message about. She left a voicemail on my cell phone saying I didn’t have to call her back, she just wanted to call and thank me again for the wind chimes and the birthday dinner, she really enjoyed seeing all the kids at the restaurant. 
She’ll say I don’t need to call her back, but she doesn’t mean it. I guess this was trying to make up for hanging up on me, without saying, sorry I hung up on you. 🤷🏼‍♀️🙄

 

This actually sounds like she’s trying? In her limited way? 

[Faith-manor]

Just remember this episode is more material for your upcoming book!

[saraha]

1 hour ago, Harriet Vane said:

This actually sounds like she’s trying? In her limited way? 

Could be. I would have preferred if she would have apologized for talking to me like I’m dumb and hanging up on me. Dh pointed out this is her pattern. Nasty nasty nice nasty nasty nice 

[Lady Florida.]

1 hour ago, saraha said:

She just called both my house phone and my cell phone. I didn’t answer because she hung up on me last night and there couldn’t possibly be something I needed to know she couldn’t leave a message about.

My first thought as I read this was "She's probably calling to make sure you all aren't looking at the sun". I know it's frustrating and not funny but it did give me a chuckle when I thought that.

[Indigo Blue]

1 hour ago, saraha said:

. I guess this was trying to make up for hanging up on me, without saying, sorry I hung up on you. 🤷🏼‍♀️🙄

I’m pretty sure it was. My mom would do this exact thing. Just act as if nothing happened, but if it was brought up again, she’d be the victim and go on about her feelings and gloss over the feelings of others. 
 

I’m so glad you didn’t answer her call after she hung up on you. I read your op and the hanging up the phone stuff….just shows how childish they can really be. And mean.  So, good for you. It may not make her behave better, but you still showed up for yourself by not taking her call. 
 

Our moms are SO much alike in a lot of ways. In some ways they are different, though. 
 

In all of the absurd, crazy stuff she does, does she actually lie to you? Or deceive you? 
 

PS…I’m done with the hanging up. It hasn’t happened in years. If she does that again, I won’t be taking her call afterward. I’ve already promised myself. Just as I have also promised myself to walk out of her house and go home if she ever rages at me again. 

[Indigo Blue]

1 hour ago, Faith-manor said:

Just remember this episode is more material for your upcoming book!

Titled, “The Bathroom Diary of Saraha Foxworth”?  Just made up a last name, lol. 
 

Maybe The Bathroom Chronicles sounds better…..

 

 

Edited April 3 by Indigo Blue

[Kassia]

47 minutes ago, saraha said:

. I would have preferred if she would have apologized for talking to me like I’m dumb and hanging up on me. 

This is never going to happen.  That would mean she'd have to take responsibility for her actions and she can't do that.

 

5 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said:

 My mom would do this exact thing. Just act as if nothing happened, but if it was brought up again, she’d be the victim and go on about her feelings and gloss over the feelings of others. 
 

In all of the absurd, crazy stuff she does, does she actually lie to you? Or deceive you? 
 

PS…I’m done with the hanging up. It hasn’t happened in years. If she does that again, I won’t be taking her call afterward. I’ve already promised myself. Just as I have also promised myself to walk out of her house and go home if she ever rages at me again. 

My mom and MIL were very similar and did all of these things, but my mother was really dangerous and would go out of her way to hurt me while my MIL is just immature and selfish.  They both are/were liars (my mother is gone, but MIL is still alive) and both would hang up and then act as if nothing happened.  My mother would have acted like your mom if confronted and my MIL would act confused and say it never happened.  DH had to tell my MIL not to call our home phone anymore after the last time she hung up on me.  She's supposed to call his cell first always.  It doesn't always work, but it's cut down on the drama and phone calls considerably.  She's also not welcome in our home after her horrible behavior, but we do go to her home.  

 

[saraha]

23 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said:

In all of the absurd, crazy stuff she does, does she actually lie to you? Or deceive you?

The last big lie I caught her in was last year. She was telling people the doctors thought she had cancer. I called her doctors office, told them she had been in recently and that in telling me about the visit, she seemed confused and could they run past me what her next steps were. I didn’t expect it to work, but wanted to try and the lady that answered the phone gave me a run down of the visit. I called mom right away and she was LIVID that the doctors office told me anything. She immediately changed doctors and has been very careful not to let slip who her doctor is now. But she miraculously turned out not to have cancer or anything like it and she suddenly started putting weight back on. Her doctor said she had an inflamed bowel and put her on a special diet. 🙄

[Faith-manor]

1 hour ago, Indigo Blue said:

Titled, “The Bathroom Diary of Saraha Foxworth”?  Just made up a last name, lol. 
 

Maybe The Bathroom Chronicles sounds better…..

 

 

Potty. It needs the word potty. "The Potty Chronicles of Saraha Foxworth!" Best seller!! 😂😂😂

[saraha]

Called my mom to remind her to make sure she has her eclipse glasses…she does 😆

so far she’s told me she fell trying to get on the lawn mower and thought she broke her back, but she went ahead and mowed the grass because if she’s going to be in pain she might as well get something done.

When I first called she didn’t answer because she was in the bathroom and why do I always wait until she is in the bathroom?!?

When she talks on the phone, it makes her yawn because she is breathing in all of the old air and she is going to have to figure out something else

Asked about each kid individually

asked if I remember why she called ds24 last week, I reminded her that she didn’t like my answer about him having a basement so she called herself. She said oh that’s right. She then launched into how you’re always a mom and much to the entertainment of the other people in the laundromat, I said yeah, but as a mom we also have to treat them like adults when they are 24…and 47. It can be insulting to an adult to feel like people think they are too dumb to know to go into the basement. She said whatever, they need to know. But now I know he has a basement and you do so I won’t worry about it. I said do you have a basement? She said no, I go in the closet. I said when are you digging one? She laughed and said I’m not, I just go in the closet. So I said so people who don’t have basements figure it out, right? And she said of course they do!

 

Edited April 8 by saraha

[saraha]

Sorry had to drive home

Asked why it was so quiet, so I told her I was at the laundromat. She asked why and told her the washing machine is broken. Why isn’t it fixed? Waiting for my brother in law. Call him and tell him to hurry up. We’ll, he’s doing me a favor so probably do t want to aggravate him. Mom doesn’t care, he needs to just come and do it. Maybe you need to call and remind him. Nope, I see him every week. We’ll tell him to stop wasting your time and money! He’ll get to it

That reminds her her handy man never came back about the water pressure in her kitchen, so I say, why don’t you give him a call? Tell him to stop wasting your time and get here and fix your water??? She doesn’t respond to that.

Then she start telling me about how my aunt is making her beef and noodles (my aunt she didn’t think would make it to the end of the month last month) and offered to bring them over to her tomorrow.

[saraha]

Then she asked about dh’s eyes and if there is any improvement. I tell her no. She asks we’ll have they figured out what’s wrong with him? Yes, they have always known. But they won’t fix it? We’ll, they tried, but it is what it is. We’ll, what are you going to do about it? Nothing. We are just living our life. What is wrong with him? He’s retinas keep detaching and causing loss of sight. We’ll you would think they should be able to fix that. Yeah, well, it is what it is.

Have you talked to your sister? Yeah (no, but we have texted) what did she have to say? She’s fine, they went to gatlinburg and are going somewhere to look at the eclipse. Where? I don’t know. I thought you said you talked to her. I did. Then why don’t you know?!? Because I didn’t ask. At this point I have been pushing her buttons long enough and her mind blows.

At this point dh texts asking if I’m coming home? So I start the car and it bings and she asks what the binging is and I say the car. Why is your car binging? That’s what it does when you start it. Are you driving the car?!? Yeah, I need to go home. We’ll fine, I didn’t want to talk to you anymore anyway. Tell the kids I love them. Bye and hangs up 😆

[saraha]

I’m very proud of my ability to find humor today and to actually work in how talking to adults like they are dumb is hurtful, even if she couldn’t hear it. Dh said “well you are feeling  froggy today aren’t you? First you trick Howard into an extra tour and now your mom😆”

[sgo95]

10 hours ago, saraha said:

I’m very proud of my ability to find humor today and to actually work in how talking to adults like they are dumb is hurtful, even if she couldn’t hear it. Dh said “well you are feeling  froggy today aren’t you? First you trick Howard into an extra tour and now your mom😆”

Yes, kudos to you! Since I have no emotional attachment to your mom, I find her relentless nagging, criticism, and negativity to be unintentionally quite funny.

Eta: oh, her pettiness as well: "I didn't want to talk to you anymore anyway" 😂

Edited April 8 by sgo95