Terabith Posted May 3, 2023 Share Posted May 3, 2023 Demon goat Goat for sale. $40.00 “rehoming” fee. For sale a 1 year old pigmy thing that was raise by a 65lbs Blue Nose pit bull, so you get the best of both worlds because this damn goat thinks he’s a pitbull. He even tries to bark which sounds completely terrifying in the middle of the night. I’m pretty sure those gas station Horney Goat Weed energy pills is based of this guys DNA. He once broke into my ice chest and drank all my beer so now he has an alcohol problem which he won’t admit, but I know he’s having withdrawals whenever he tears my fence up. He stopped drinking water 5 months ago and just waits til I get home with more beer and he stares me down. We’ve fought 3x and my record is 2-1 but He has 3 confirmed coyote kills, 2 trash cans, one out door patio set, and a number of unfortunate crows that have landed in my back yard. He chews on the electric fence to build a tolerance after he watched the Green Mile one night. He used to be my daughters pet but he’s long since graduated from that role. He’s got more urine on his face then a urinal at Woodstock 69. He used to be a grey color but all the bloodshed he’s caused has turned into a demonic dark grey. If you need a stud to breed he’s ready to pump out none stop for 6 months straight day and night. My neighbors are scared to come over anymore and I lost my backyard which I would like to get back. So let me know ASAP. He has a 10 yard stare like he’s done a couple of tours. I take Venmo, cash app, Facebook pay, US currency, EUROS , Monopoly money, whatever. Side note* if there is ever an uprising with the goats like on planet of the apes, this guy is definitely going to be their leader “Your chances of dying by a goat are low, but never zero” - President George Washington 1776 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matryoshka Posted May 3, 2023 Share Posted May 3, 2023 13 minutes ago, Terabith said: Demon goat Goat for sale. $40.00 “rehoming” fee. For sale a 1 year old pigmy thing that was raise by a 65lbs Blue Nose pit bull, so you get the best of both worlds because this damn goat thinks he’s a pitbull. He even tries to bark which sounds completely terrifying in the middle of the night. I’m pretty sure those gas station Horney Goat Weed energy pills is based of this guys DNA. He once broke into my ice chest and drank all my beer so now he has an alcohol problem which he won’t admit, but I know he’s having withdrawals whenever he tears my fence up. He stopped drinking water 5 months ago and just waits til I get home with more beer and he stares me down. We’ve fought 3x and my record is 2-1 but He has 3 confirmed coyote kills, 2 trash cans, one out door patio set, and a number of unfortunate crows that have landed in my back yard. He chews on the electric fence to build a tolerance after he watched the Green Mile one night. He used to be my daughters pet but he’s long since graduated from that role. He’s got more urine on his face then a urinal at Woodstock 69. He used to be a grey color but all the bloodshed he’s caused has turned into a demonic dark grey. If you need a stud to breed he’s ready to pump out none stop for 6 months straight day and night. My neighbors are scared to come over anymore and I lost my backyard which I would like to get back. So let me know ASAP. He has a 10 yard stare like he’s done a couple of tours. I take Venmo, cash app, Facebook pay, US currency, EUROS , Monopoly money, whatever. Side note* if there is ever an uprising with the goats like on planet of the apes, this guy is definitely going to be their leader “Your chances of dying by a goat are low, but never zero” - President George Washington 1776 With that description, there shouldn't be a rehoming 'fee', but a rehoming 'bonus' paid to whoever's daft enough to take demon goat off his hands... and might need to be more than $40...👹🐐 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted May 3, 2023 Share Posted May 3, 2023 1 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 3 16 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 11 minutes ago, Corraleno said: They killed a lot of kittens . . . 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 (edited) Inspired by the previous demon goat meme. 🤣 Edited May 4, 2023 by wintermom 10 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Miss Tick Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 17 hours ago, Corraleno said: Google says the store is in the UK. Maybe they are more liberal with their apostrophes there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeaConquest Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 (edited) On 4/29/2023 at 11:30 AM, Corraleno said: I feel like it's been 50 degrees and raining for 6 months straight! We had one sunny weekend two weeks ago and I left the pool looking just like this. Normally, I would have a pretty good base tan brewing. We are still in the low 60s with [gulp] drizzle (aka January). Sign me, Pale and Miserable in San Diego Edited May 4, 2023 by SeaConquest 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted May 5, 2023 Share Posted May 5, 2023 1 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drama Llama Posted May 5, 2023 Share Posted May 5, 2023 20 hours ago, Corraleno said: The best part is that the store is named "Goodwyns" with no apostrophe. 3 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted May 5, 2023 Share Posted May 5, 2023 I love his skits. https://fb.watch/kk7ur9pGTf/?mibextid=cr9u03 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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