Katy Posted August 4, 2021 Share Posted August 4, 2021 With everything stressful going on I thought we could use a new jokes & memes thread. DH sent me this anti-serenity prayer: God grand me the anxiety to try to control the things I cannot control, the fear to avoid the things I can, and the neurosis to deny the difference! 4 20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
historically accurate Posted August 4, 2021 Share Posted August 4, 2021 Since I started a part time job that I keep increasing my hours at and I'm getting Oldest ready to go back to college and trying to fit in (high school x2!) homeschool planning in all of that, I'm feeling this one today. 4 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Home'scool Posted August 4, 2021 Share Posted August 4, 2021 After 35, there is no way to get out of a pool float with your dignity intact. 1 21 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted August 9, 2021 Author Share Posted August 9, 2021 8 1 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
historically accurate Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 Hope this isn't too dark... 10 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theelfqueen Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 11 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree Frog Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 (edited) Edited August 10, 2021 by wilrunner This describes our dog! 2 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted August 10, 2021 Author Share Posted August 10, 2021 6 23 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted August 10, 2021 Author Share Posted August 10, 2021 5 3 19 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 3 1 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 (edited) sorry, didn't work Edited August 10, 2021 by MercyA 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 (edited) I guess Katy and I have some of the same group of friends. We both had snow white not having animals help clean. Edited August 10, 2021 by gardenmom5 5 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 1 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 You MUST sing it! (or at least pluck it out on a keyboard.) 3 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 1 hour ago, Corraleno said: my arrogant engineer (bs) brother started lecturing sissy's son-in-law about math. Her son-in-law got really excited thinking he had a new person to talk to about math - so he started talking math at his own level. I hold it against her she didn't get this on video - cell phones with cameras are ubiquitous, she has no excuse. Her son-in-law was working on his doctorate in math at the time. 4 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 42 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said: You MUST sing it! (or at least pluck it out on a keyboard.) In the Hall of the Mountain King 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 6 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 8 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 7 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said: In the Hall of the Mountain King Thank you! Everyone is asleep and the notes sounded familiar in my head but I couldn’t place it! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 I have nothing to share but I am so glad this is going again! Dh and I really loved the 2020 thread! 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted August 10, 2021 Author Share Posted August 10, 2021 3 24 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 17 minutes ago, Katy said: This cracked me up!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 7 minutes ago, saraha said: This cracked me up!!! I found myself wondering how many people younger than (40?) would know who they are. 7 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 2 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said: I found myself wondering how many people younger than (40?) would know who they are. Well, there is the recent movie "I, Tanya". I haven't seen it (and have zero desire to), but 1ds watched it with his gf. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 @theelfqueenSadly, I read an apostrophe in front of the 22, because that's just about how things are going. Did y'all see the one TWTM Press put up on FB with the ship sinking? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
historically accurate Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 9 3 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theelfqueen Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 41 minutes ago, Carolina Wren said: @theelfqueenSadly, I read an apostrophe in front of the 22, because that's just about how things are going. Did y'all see the one TWTM Press put up on FB with the ship sinking? I might need a lot of margaritas to get me through to Sept '22. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbcdeDooDah Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 This is a picture I took and sent to my son. He and his fiancee are desperate for housing and it's bleak here in CA. I was so excited to see a house for rent I snapped a pic and didn't really read it Until later. 2 20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 6 2 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
porque? Posted August 11, 2021 Share Posted August 11, 2021 1 hour ago, Alicia64 said: This is so me! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted August 11, 2021 Share Posted August 11, 2021 8 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said: I found myself wondering how many people younger than (40?) would know who they are. That was my thought too. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted August 11, 2021 Share Posted August 11, 2021 5 21 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted August 11, 2021 Share Posted August 11, 2021 6 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted August 11, 2021 Share Posted August 11, 2021 8 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted August 11, 2021 Share Posted August 11, 2021 (edited) A few oldies but goodies: Me every night Edited August 11, 2021 by Lady Florida. 4 2 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted August 11, 2021 Share Posted August 11, 2021 2 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted August 11, 2021 Share Posted August 11, 2021 Apologies to the green tea fans. I am team coffee. 3 1 21 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted August 11, 2021 Share Posted August 11, 2021 From Sunando Guha (Word Nerds). A series of very awful dad jokes. Be warned. 1. “Dad, are we pyromaniacs?” “Yes, we arson!” 2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled. 3. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move. 4. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm. 5. If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying the price. 6. Just so everyone’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on. 7. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around. 8. I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene. 9. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars. 10. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer. 11. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough. 12. My friends and I have named our band ‘Duvet’. It’s a cover band. 13. I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it. 14. Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a k and not c? Because you can’t see in the dark. 15. Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell. 16. When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare. 17. Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again.” 18. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence. 19. Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person’s walk, and the result was staggering. 20. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find. 21. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road. 22. What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re. 23. I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarznegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.” 24. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self. 25. I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness. 11 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 Not a joke, or a meme. Found in a Centerville, OH thrift store and posted in a FB group called "Weird (and Wonderful) Secondhand finds that just need to be shared" If you are on FB, join this group. You won't regret it. 3 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
historically accurate Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 17 minutes ago, cintinative said: Not a joke, or a meme. Found in a Centerville, OH thrift store and posted in a FB group called "Weird (and Wonderful) Secondhand finds that just need to be shared" If you are on FB, join this group. You won't regret it. My youngest did that with some Panda Express leftovers a couple of years ago. "Caution Do Not Touch". 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 we 2 hours ago, historically accurate said: My youngest did that with some Panda Express leftovers a couple of years ago. "Caution Do Not Touch". we do that here. If you don't put your name one it, someone else would eat it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 4 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 3 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 3 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, cintinative said: I admit- as soon as I saw the headline, this popped into my head.: Camelot (Knights of the Round Table) [HD] - Monty Python and the Holy Grail - Bing video Edited August 12, 2021 by gardenmom5 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted August 13, 2021 Share Posted August 13, 2021 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted August 13, 2021 Share Posted August 13, 2021 3 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted August 13, 2021 Share Posted August 13, 2021 5 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted August 13, 2021 Author Share Posted August 13, 2021 5 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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