Homeschool support (I didn't write this)

[Laura K (NC)]

I found this on a blog that I'd prefer not to name, so the material can stand on its own merit (those of you who visit said blog will recognize it). It inspired me to focus more on what I've been called to do for the past 9 and the coming 6 years -- teach my kids. Not all of the advice below will work for everyone, but surely the gist of it will resonate with some. --Laura

 

--------

 

It all begins with me

 

Most of the time when things "break bad" here (and they do; not often, but they do), it's more about me than about anyone else. When the work is taking forever to complete, when the quality is less than expected, when enthusiasm has waned, etc., I don't need to look much further than the example I've been setting. Have I been on-task? Have I been doing my job(s) with attention to detail? Have I conveyed my love of the subject and of the family-centered learning project? Or have I been dealing with our accountant in a series of longwinded telephone calls? Spending twenty extra minutes on the treadmill? Checking email or blogging? Planning activities for next week, month, or year when we haven't completed the activities for this week, month, or year? (Actually, I gave up that last bit during year one of this adventure. One of the first hard lessons I learned about home education is that my time is best spent not on elaborate lesson plans (no matter how ingenious, inventive, or inspiring to other hs-ing mothers), thumbing through catalogues, drafting curriculum wishlists, or bouncing from one resource to another but on the simple task of focusing on the moment we're in. It has saved me years of angst and wasted time, talent, and treasure, that lesson has.)

 

Don't misunderstand. I think that it's important that we parent-educators tend to our needs, but I also think it's critical that we do it on our own time. (For me, that's in the wee, small hours of the morn' or the late evening hours after they head to bed or, sometimes, during the day on "free" days (one benefit of year-round studies).) When I forget this self-mandate (e.g., when I take a call during lesson time or blog while the kids are laboring over math sheets), I send the following mixed message: Leading the family-centered learning project is my first and most important job -- except when I want to do something else. Make that mistake too many times, and it's really no wonder when the youngest dallies over a sheet she previously needed only thirty minutes to complete for three, four times longer than that; no wonder that they're feeling recalcitrant, unmotivated; no wonder our interactions are laced with discontent.

 

Lest you or someone else click away in anger, note that this is not a criticism of any sort. I don't know how you approach your work. You asked how to reach your child's heart, though; I can only tell you how I reach my own children's hearts and minds:

 

With as much consistency as possible, I model the behavior and standards I want the kids to maintain.

 

And I've been doing that since we began this adventure.

 

By necessity, this means I haven't adopted then abandoned multiple approaches to parenting or learning. It means that I decided on a fairly certain course early on, a course chosen to match my personality and goals well.

 

And I've stuck with it.

 

There is an unmistakable rhythm to our days, a dance of daily routines and rituals that guide this family's life, and everyone, from the generally happy-no-matter-what youngest to the uber-sensitive-artist-type middle to the man-boy oldest sways to the silent music

 

...because it has been playing since they they arrived.

 

Sure, there's spontaneity. And fun. Lots of it. Surprise. Humor. Laughter. But that's the harmony. The melody is one of clearly stated goals and plenty of examples of how to achieve them.

 

We parent-educators love to point out that the benefit of homeschooling is that we can tailor the curriculum and our approach to our students' needs. As I wrote in "Be a sun," I suspect there is a point at which this becomes too much of a good thing. Clearly, when an elementary school student fails to understand that his or her job is to play and learn and study and grow (and to do so without a big fuss), he or she needs less "heart talk" and more "stern talk" -- mixed with a healthy dose of the teacher modeling the same level of commitment to task.

 

What is "stern talk"? It might look something like this: Quite simply, education is the law here; as in, parents must provide their children with an education. If my child isn't learning (barring some sort of organic issue), we are not complying with the law. If I am doing my part (check), that leaves you, the child. You must do your part. In this house, that means that the following activities must be completed on a daily (weekly, monthly, annual) basis. Until we're in compliance, we will skip the following activities: [insert favorite programs, extracurriculars here].

 

I'm going to circle back to my original premise: It all begins with the parent-educator. Anger and sadness are one response to a recalcitrant student. Humor is another approach. But, in the end, unwavering purposefulness may be the best choice, and that's hard to achieve if we haven't done the hard work of laying out our own courses. As I said, this is not a criticism but an observation based on my teaching and parenting experiences: Things work best when I work best.

___________________

 

Making time

How do you have time to read, write, keep house, etc.?

 

Over the last six years, I've fielded some derivation of this question too often to count.

 

There exists in me a curmudgeonly inclination to lob this back into the inquirer's court: How do you not? But some readers are too sensitive for this bold an approach. ....

 

Look. My writing is my work. Asking me how I find time to write is a bit like asking a barkeep how he finds time to tend bar or an information systems engineer how she makes time to develop projects. It's what I do, and in order to be paid -- well and on time -- I must get the work done.

 

The rest? The reading, learning, living, blogging even? Well, I sleep less to read more, and I have, quite simply, never understood the big deal about keeping an organized and comfortable home.

 

But if you require something more specific, consider this list of don'ts the next time you find that you haven't enough time to do it all. Something here may prove helpful.

 

● Unless you're training for a marathon or pursuing a career as a model or professional athlete, don't spend a lot of time working out. Just do enough to maintain good health.

 

● Don't fuss with complicated hairstyles or "busy" clothes or make-up.

 

● Don't answer the telephone. Turn the ringer off. When/if you have time for telephone conversations, make a call. Amazing how much time this alone saves.

 

● Don't waste time complaining about the commonplace (e.g., the way your son forgets to turn his socks right side out before dropping them in the hamper, the way your spouse this, and his or her mother that, and your mother ... and the neighbor ... and the people at the library ... blah, blah, blah). Energy- and time-sapping stuff, that.

 

● Don't go shopping. No mall walking. No window shopping. Keep a list. Pick up the items on the list. Work the clearance racks at the end of the season, in one maybe two trips. But hit the mall or Wal*Mart or wherever for no particular reason? Perish the thought. Bookstores are, of course, an exception.

 

● Don't read junk mail.

 

● Or catalogues. 'think this is a trivial suggestion? Consider all the time some folks waste paging through the Christmas season's offerings. You know you don't have $75 for a letter opener from Levenger. Drop the catalogues in the can before the mail deliverer has sped from the mailbox. Clothes catalogues? Why? If you want to dream of opulence, read a Victorian novel or certain Shakespearean plays. Why waste time mulling over the Nordstrom's catalogue when the best sales are in-store at the end of the season? You get the idea. Book catalogues are, of course, the exception.

 

● Don't join clubs.

 

● In general, don't say, "Yes," to anyone. This is harsh, but grow adept at looking nearly every person (excluding your children, spouse and/or significant other, and boss (or editor or client)) who thinks you owe him or her a piece of your time in the eye and saying, "No, but best wishes with [insert time-sucking activity here]." Trust me, this isn't going to cause any death-bed regrets. "Oh, how I wish I had spent more time organizing that [insert time-sucking activity here]!" Yeah. No.

 

● Unless you are particularly gifted in one or another craft such that your creations make anticipated gifts and/or money, don't scrapbook or craft.

 

● And don't compete with neighbors in the "who can out-decorate everyone else" during Halloween and Christmas seasons. Display simple, pretty decorations. End of story.

 

● Don't indulge in home and/or garden magazines.

 

● Or home and/or garden shows. They only inspire time- (and money-) sapping projects that keep you from family field trips, game nights, books, and the occasional lazy morning in bed with coffee, muffins, and two papers.

 

● Don't cook elaborate meals.

 

● Sometimes, don't even cook. That's why god made takeout. Really. So readers, thinkers, and [homeschoolers] don't starve.

 

● Don't waste time on doubt. Why invite discontent by perpetually glancing at what he or she is doing?

 

● Similarly, don't dabble in self-doubt. Much. (See this entry for more on this topic.)

 

And then there will be time to read. And read some more. And to write and learn. And to keep a home that makes your family happy. A home in which you will have time to live and learn and laugh too loudly.

 

A new slogan, then: Just don't.

___________________

[Murphy101]

hey great post!:iagree:

 

care to PM me the blog?

 

please?

[cin]

The last quarter was EXTREMELY overbooked for us, so I'm just coming out of the dark hole, and I truly agree with mostly everything that was said. And the list of suggestions is superb. If, for some reason I WANT a $75 letter opener, I know where to look, and I can order it, online, after the kids are in bed, or during our lunch hour (we watch a video during lunch..I sit in the background doing various 'things'.)

 

I have made the commitment, as a SAHM who homeschools, to put my family first. Their education is my first family commitment. Feeding and clothing are a close second & third. ;) I am fortunate, in that I have a VERY supportive husband and a MIL who LOVES her only granddaughters. I have a free day almost every Friday and if I need to go 'out' for other things, DH is usually ready to help me. And he rarely complains about things, unless he notices that my busyness is misdirected, at which point he will gently redirect me.

 

I know my thoughts are somewhat rambling. It is Saturay though, so my LIFE is somewhat rambling ;). Overall, I agree.

[HomeOnTheRanch]

hey great post!:iagree:

 

care to PM me the blog?

 

please?

 

If you copy a sentence or paragraph and Google, it is easy to find. :001_smile:

[Julie in Austin]

Yep.

 

There are some posters here who seem to be constantly changing what they are using and I want to say: the frequent changes are doing more damage than any one of the things you have been using ever could have. But I don't say it, because I doubt they'd hear me.

[H.S. Burrow]

● Similarly, don't dabble in self-doubt. Much. (See this entry for more on this topic.)

 

___________________

 

:iagree:Wonderful post!

 

I would like to read further on the "see this entry" but there is no link....could you please post it? Thanks!!

[anissarobert]

Great post. I may have to find this blog.

[Frankie]

:iagree:Wonderful post!

 

I would like to read further on the "see this entry" but there is no link....could you please post it? Thanks!!

 

http://mentalmultivitamin.blogspot.com/

http://mentalmultivitamin.blogspot.com/2007/10/from-archives-making-time.html

http://mentalmultivitamin.blogspot.com/2008/12/from-archives-it-all-begins-with-me.html

 

 

I'm linking to it because she wrote it and deserves credit for her work. I understand the intent of the original poster, but I think it's highly unfair to copy and paste an author's work without giving credit to the author.

[Murphy101]

thanks frankie

altho I wanted to read more that was a knee-jerk concern of mine as well.

:)

[Harriet Vane]

http://mentalmultivitamin.blogspot.com/

http://mentalmultivitamin.blogspot.com/2007/10/from-archives-making-time.html

http://mentalmultivitamin.blogspot.com/2008/12/from-archives-it-all-begins-with-me.html

 

 

I'm linking to it because she wrote it and deserves credit for her work. I understand the intent of the original poster, but I think it's highly unfair to copy and paste an author's work without giving credit to the author.

 

I've gotta agree. I don't think the OP meant anything other than goodwill and a desire to share some encouragement, but my experience with authors is that they want (and deserve to have) their work acknowledged as their own.

 

Thanks very much to the OP for posting this--the first article is one I had printed for myself and keep in my notebook. I haven't read the second one in a while. Both were good to chew over this morning.

[Janna]

I have read the first one before. I liked it then, and I like it now. It's very true, and while not being a huge eye-opener (of course it all begins with the parent), it is a good reminder. And sometimes, it needs to be a frequent one.

 

However, I disagree with almost everything listed in the 2nd half on making time. But that is because we all have different priorities and goals. Because "it all begins with me", the parent, the "making time" aspect begins with me also. And since my priority isn't to read as much as I possibly can, shutting out people (which would in turn, teach my children to do the same), then I can't adhere to what is being promoted in that 2nd article. The point is still taken, just greatly, almost entirely, tweaked. I think what she proposes is just as unbalanced as the person who is caught up with other "things" to prevent them from keeping house, reading, and writing. In my opinion, and what I am teaching my children, is that people are what matter. How we can give to and serve others. How we can help and be helped in return, paying it forward, growing spiritually...these things are what matter to me. Education is important, absolutely. Knowledge is important (and can sometimes be power), but these things are far from everything. If I don't answer the phone because I'm reading instead, I'm showing my kids that people don't matter as much as myself and what I want. If I say "no, sorry I can't help you. But good luck with that" to people who ask for my help, then my children will see that and know that helping others, even when it's hard and even when I don't always want to, is not necessary.

 

So truly, it's all a different perspective and a different priority on life. I just think that there is a way to be balanced regardless of our priorities, and honestly, her 2nd article is only swinging the pendulum in the opposite direction, which for me, would be a lonely, unfulfilled life.

[LisaKinVA]

So truly, it's all a different perspective and a different priority on life. I just think that there is a way to be balanced regardless of our priorities, and honestly, her 2nd article is only swinging the pendulum in the opposite direction, which for me, would be a lonely, unfulfilled life.

 

:iagree:The author makes some good points, but if I took everything she said as universally true, it would make life much more lonely and unfulfilled -- which would do as much harm to my homeschooling example as what the author was intending to correct.

[Nestof3]

I found much to be great exhortation, but I have to admit I was a little peeved that scrapbooking and crafting were pointed out as time-wasters but not television. Give me my crafts and everyone else can keep the television. :)

[Perry]

However, I disagree with almost everything listed in the 2nd half on making time. But that is because we all have different priorities and goals.

 

This is exactly how I felt when I first read that piece.

[Mekanamom]

Yes, even good advice is best taken with a heaping dose of reality and a certain amount of self-knowledge...

 

... says the lady who cannot function if her house is not "organized and comfortable" :D

[Blessedfamily]

I agreed with the general principle, and would substitute my own list of expendable non-priorities. :001_smile:

[Karen in CO]

Ah but see, I thought she just didn't have a tv so it didn't even occur to her that someone might waste time on it ;)

[Tammyla]

I remember this one, and I almost went and dug it up the other day to post.

 

Thanks. :001_smile:

 

Anyone have the old post from Kpzz? You know the one about shinning eyes. That one was a keeper too, but lost during our last computer crash.

[HollyinNNV]

I think the article would have been better written if the author had said, "Here are things I do not do and the reasons why. These time savers might work for you." Instead, I found her tone arrogant and annoying. It sounded to me like she only values things that "she values" and the rest of our hobbies are worthless. Phht.

[PariSarah]

I think the article would have been better written if the author had said, "Here are things I do not do and the reasons why. These time savers might work for you." Instead, I found her tone arrogant and annoying. It sounded to me like she only values things that "she values" and the rest of our hobbies are worthless. Phht.

 

. . . was written specifically in response to the question at the top of the post--essentially, how do you have time to be a working mother AND a homeschooler? It wasn't a list of general time-savers, but a list of things to cut out if you're trying to balance full-time homeschooling with part-time or full-time work.

 

I, too, think some of the things on her don't-do list are important to me and my family, and still others are kind of sad, but if I made a list of all the things I don't do so that I have time to be a working mother AND a homeschooler, many people would find something wrong with my choices.

Edited December 6, 2008 by PariSarah

[melissel]

. . . was written specifically in response to the question at the top of the post--essentially, how do you have time to be a working mother AND a homeschooler? It wasn't a list of general time-savers, but a list of things to cut out if you're trying to balance full-time homeschooling with part-time or full-time work.

 

I, too, think some of the things on her don't-do list are important to me and my family, and still others are kind of sad, but if I made a list of all the things I don't do so that I have time to be a working mother AND a homeschooler, many people would find something wrong with my choices.

 

Good points. The author also said, "But if you require something more specific, consider this list of don'ts the next time you find that you haven't enough time to do it all. Something here may prove helpful." She never said, "Start here with the first, and finish with the last." They were just some ideas she was putting out there.

[Blessedfamily]

We would all have very different lists, wouldn't we? (I'm just thinking out loud here.)

 

For me a blog, which is were this list comes from, would be something on my list to cut in a time crunch. I'd like to start one, but would have to borrow the time from something else. :001_smile:

[Frontier Mom]

I would agree except I feel my dc's are better off with my decision to change and try new curriculum and methods of learning through the years. I mean, that is one of my favorite things about home educating!!

 

I would hate to think we were still using the same things I used when we started 9 years ago. We have fun every year changing things around and my dc's see it as an adventure of sorts. They like to help me look and we usually end up with a blended version of two or three things together and that works for us.

 

Maybe this doesn't work for everyone but, for our home school, we like changing and not getting bogged down. The beauty of home education is directing the curriculum and learning styles. As long as my dc's are learning and growing closer in their relationships with God and each other, I'm a happy homeschool Mom!

[lionfamily1999]

I would hate to think we were still using the same things I used when we started 9 years ago. We have fun every year changing things around and my dc's see it as an adventure of sorts. They like to help me look and we usually end up with a blended version of two or three things together and that works for us.

 

Maybe this doesn't work for everyone but, for our home school, we like changing and not getting bogged down. The beauty of home education is directing the curriculum and learning styles. As long as my dc's are learning and growing closer in their relationships with God and each other, I'm a happy homeschool Mom!

:iagree:Curriculum is a personal choice, some people change better/easier/quicker than others. We, most likely would stick to one, if it worked, because we're pretty static people.

[Sahamamama]

This list of "Don'ts" did strike me as describing the choices of someone who values having a relationship with books (literature), perhaps more than having relationships with people.

 

I have to admit, I felt uncomfortable reading the list. I think the reason why is because I have personally struggled with my "first love" for years. As a child, I was quite "bookish," and even as an adult it's often easier (less painful?) to curl up with a good book than to go to the women's meeting at church.

 

I tell myself that with three children under the age of 4 years, a home to keep, meals to cook, a husband working as much overtime as he can get -- I don't have time to add anything else on. In truth, I prefer staying home at night (reading a book) to going out to weekly choir practice. I love to sing, I enjoy the group, but I resist going, I resist "joining." Why? The author's "Don't join any clubs" rule comes to mind here.

 

Is it possible that it's easier for some people to say no to everyone, simply because we are more comfortable with books in the first place? Do we let the answering machine screen our calls because we are truly so busy, or because we would rather avoid a chattier-than-is-convenient-for-me friend -- one who might need us to listen? I've had to work against my natural reticence to be connected to real, living, here-and-now, face-to-face people. So perhaps, then, this author's advice is the opposite of what I need to hear in order to grow as a person.

 

Now as a parent, I realize that nearly everything I am and do will be seen and imitated by my three young daughters. Sobering thought, that. But beyond the question of "What kind of role model am I?" is the even larger question of "What life am I living, as I say yes to this, and no to that?"

 

It's not as though I now have an overwhelming urge (EVER) to throw down the book I'm reading and rush to work at the local soup kitchen. But I used to be that "type" of person... and I am afraid, in some ways, to become that (caring, giving) person again. When we were both single, my husband and I invested ourselves for a long time, in many ways, at great cost and sacrifice in caring and giving into others' lives. We served in poor, poor urban areas, and overseas, and at church.

 

I wonder sometimes, Will our children ever see us as we used to be? Or only as we currently are? Will my daughters know what I did and how I lived and who I was before they, late in my life, were born? Or will they only look through the Africa box in the attic and wonder why their mother kept all this irrelevant stuff?

 

I want, really and truly, to care deeply about people again, even though I know what it will cost me. Books can be healers and listeners and thoughtful, gentle friends. They can lift us up and encourage, but they can never replace real people, real friends. Books can keep us from being and becoming who we ought, if we selfishly turn away from human connectedness with real people, who are not dead, who do breathe. Just a thought, but one I've been having lately.

[Laura K (NC)]

Homeschooling begins with me, not with the poster of that blog article, or anyone else here, or my neighbor down the street. The general principle is universal, while the second part of the blog entry is specific to the author. We could each write our own second half (and it would be a good exercise for me to do so, as a matter of fact), if homeschooling actually does begin with "me."

 

I'd answer the phone, but I wouldn't spend as much time reading and writing. I'd put more miles on the car for sure, and my house would not be as clean. How to enrich and relax ourselves, however we see fit and in the proper time, is a personal decision, and necessary to have a balanced life. In my own opinion.

:)

[JudoMom]

I have read the first one before. I liked it then, and I like it now. It's very true, and while not being a huge eye-opener (of course it all begins with the parent), it is a good reminder. And sometimes, it needs to be a frequent one.

 

However, I disagree with almost everything listed in the 2nd half on making time. But that is because we all have different priorities and goals. Because "it all begins with me", the parent, the "making time" aspect begins with me also. And since my priority isn't to read as much as I possibly can, shutting out people (which would in turn, teach my children to do the same), then I can't adhere to what is being promoted in that 2nd article. The point is still taken, just greatly, almost entirely, tweaked. I think what she proposes is just as unbalanced as the person who is caught up with other "things" to prevent them from keeping house, reading, and writing. In my opinion, and what I am teaching my children, is that people are what matter. How we can give to and serve others. How we can help and be helped in return, paying it forward, growing spiritually...these things are what matter to me. Education is important, absolutely. Knowledge is important (and can sometimes be power), but these things are far from everything. If I don't answer the phone because I'm reading instead, I'm showing my kids that people don't matter as much as myself and what I want. If I say "no, sorry I can't help you. But good luck with that" to people who ask for my help, then my children will see that and know that helping others, even when it's hard and even when I don't always want to, is not necessary.

 

So truly, it's all a different perspective and a different priority on life. I just think that there is a way to be balanced regardless of our priorities, and honestly, her 2nd article is only swinging the pendulum in the opposite direction, which for me, would be a lonely, unfulfilled life.

 

Well said, and :iagree:.

[Kareni]

 

Anyone have the old post from Kpzz? You know the one about shining eyes. That one was a keeper too, but lost during our last computer crash.

 

Is this the one? Modify, modify, modify!

 

I miss KPzz's posts too!

 

Regards,

Kareni

[rafiki]

http://mentalmultivitamin.blogspot.com/2008/05/take-it-leave-it.html

 

Advice: Take it. Leave it.

Subtitle: A post for those just beginning their home education journey... to say nothing of those who've lost something along the way:

 

1. While your family's days should most decidedly not be about scoring in the Xth percentile on state-required exams, winning a regional [insert kiddie contest here] prize, or earning a House & Garden medal for cleanest kitchen counters, it's important to remember that growing children with good hearts and active minds tends to be more easily accomplished when

 

(a) their environment has some rhythms and rituals and routines (rising and resting at regular intervals; anticipating repetitive activities (like feeding the fish, reading from the book of 365 stories for 365 days, making the bed, and taking turns with the pet chores)); and

 

(b) their leader (teacher) models the attributes he or she wants to see in her students.

 

Which is another way of saying, find a daily dance, a workable rhythm to set the day's tempo. Something catchy but neither too fast nor too slow.

 

2. Focus on the moment you're in. Not on the best handwriting book, most compelling history text, or most brilliant math program. Not on message boards or blogging buddies. (In fact, if you can, try an experiment: Limit yourself to no more than, say, one virtual visit daily.) Not on all the stuff you could be doing. No. On the moment you're in. On what you should be doing. Teaching. Learning. Coaching. Leading. Modeling. So, for example: Your children's minds are wandering? They've got holes-in-the-brain, you say? Where is your mind? Are you focused on them? Yeah, I didn't think so. Now that you are, discover why aren't they focused. Physical needs met? Something big coming up? Time for a walk?

 

You get the idea.

 

3. Nine hundred ninety-nine times out of one thousand, a bad day, a spring-feverish morning, a calamitous pre-Christmas afternoon begins with you. That's not an accusation. It's an attitude. If you know it all begins with you, you know you have the power to, if not control the situation, then certainly control your response to it (which is control of the most excellent kind).

 

3. Don't neglect yourself.

Eat right.

Exercise.

Take vitamins.

Sleep well and for as long as your body needs.

Develop some rituals and routines that enable you to present a fresh face and a clean smile to your children and your students each morning.

Read. Think. Learn.

Take some time for yourself when and where you can get it.

Celebrate your achievements in meaningful ways.

Reflect.

Maintain real relationships. Cut back on the virtual.

Visit a museum.

Roll down a grassy hill. Can you still do a cartwheel?

Leave notes in your partner's jacket pocket.

Revisit a favorite hobby or book or movie from your youth.

Dance.

 

Remember: Before you are a partner, a parent, a teacher, an [insert occupation here], you are simply you. Ensure that you like who you are.

 

And take care of yourself.

[6packofun]

We would all have very different lists, wouldn't we? (I'm just thinking out loud here.)

 

 

Definitely! And, some of us wouldn't bother with a don't do list at all. :) I just know that if I let myself be a ruthless, "Nope, can't do it!" time-hoarder (like I tend to *want* to be), I'd never serve another soul or volunteer or step outside my home unless it were absolutely necessary or something for *me*. LOL :D I say no quite often, but I can also say yes when I don't really want to or even when we're really busy and am blessed for it. (I know many, many others do, too...I'm just blabbing. )

Edited December 7, 2008 by 6packofun
added

[Desert Rat]

I absolutely adore this post. It makes so much sense and I often find myself distracted during school and knowing it's not a good example. Time to get back on track, right?

I always have time to read and scrapbook and do the things I love to do and never understood how people don't. Yes, I know life gets in the way and agreed my kids are at a great age for self-sufficiency, but....except when they were infants, I always found time for the things I love to do.

And I think my family is happier because I'm happier.

I do need to work on the focusing thing though. :o