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So this happened...man swore me when I asked if they needed help


unsinkable
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Like a lot of the country, we had the storm sweep through with a foot plus of snow and now temps below zero and wind chills in negative 20s-30s.

This neighborhood & city is very much a place of helping out, especially in bad weather...shoveling and plowing for each other, helping push stuck cars, giving jumps, etc. It is not, in situations like this, a MYOB kind of place.

Our neighbor across the street looked like she was having van trouble (hood up, getting in and out of car, checking under hood) so I got my boots and coat on and went out. By the time, I got out there, the mom was in the van and the man ( I think he is dad and or DH/exDH...he doesnt seem to live there) and a kid were starting to push the van out of the driveway.

I walked into the street and called over, "Do you need any help?"

The man yelled back, " We're pushing the van into the fucking street. Why would we need your help? "

Yikes. I said, "I'm sorry to bother you" and went back in the house. 

I'm flabbergasted at how hostile this guy was when I was offering to help.

 

 

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20 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

That happened to me once. It seems polite to let people know they've left their headlights on, because flat batteries are a hassle. But hey, if you'd rather swear at me and leave them on, bully for you.

 

That happened to me once, too! The guy seemed annoyed that he had to get back into his car and turn off the lights, like it was my fault he had to do it.

I have to admit that I regretted having been nice, but if I hadn’t said anything, it would have been mean, and most people would have appreciated it. I have had people tell me my headlights were on, and I always thank them, even though my cars have their headlights set to stay on for a little while after I get out of the car so I can see where I’m walking in dark places. 

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What a jarring experience. That would unsettle me.  At best, he was stressed and snapped. It might also explain why you think he might be EX-dh to the lady across the street.

Stories like this are what make me want to sit down and talk with my teenagers.  They do this to me from time to time--snap because they're stressed.  But it's just not acceptable.  Maybe that guy's mama never explained to him that it's not acceptable.  😐

 

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15 minutes ago, SusanC said:

I bet whatever was going on was his fault and he was feeling "sensitive" about it. Since he was clearly wrong he can't yell at kid or ex, but when friendly neighbour presents... Clearly you ran into the fairly common "North American Snow Jerk".

This is awesome! North American Snow Jerk!

Edit...But it isn't really common around here. I mean there are jerks...But usually weather & car stuff cause people to pull together.

Edited by unsinkable
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1 hour ago, OKBud said:

Well I think he's a tool to holler at a helpful, stranger, woman like that, and I don't care what feelings he was feeling in his heart.

I agree.  Just because you're flustered or frustrated is no excuse for yelling obscenities at a stranger offering help.  What is wrong with people?

Edited by PrincessMommy
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My first thought is he was probably drunk, in addition to being annoyed as pushing stuck cars was not in his plans for today.

I might have let some vocabulary fly today while getting my own car un-stuck ... not at the neighbors though ... my snotty kid might have been downwind ... but it was a life lesson about times when the only 3 things OK to say are "thank you," "I'm sorry," and "how can I help."  😛

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He definitely let his frustration about the situation come out at you.  A$$hat move for sure, but there's a good chance if he's a decent human he'll feel terrible for many days to come.  I find it's good to remind myself other people's lashing out in situations like that is never about me.  When my kids and I come across humans acting badly we always joke later that dude probably needed a hug or something.  

I have to admit my neighbors have probably heard swear words fly at times.  Not at them, but at frustrating situations.  

Edited by FuzzyCatz
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I know the mom and talk to her...say hi, how are things, etc. She was in the car, steering. And I don't  want to have bad feelings between her and I. Bc she lives here, KWIM? Otherwise I might have told him to get bent. But probably not bc he was really hostile and seemed like the type who would take it out on her.

And the car wasn't stuck; the battery was dead. That is why the hood was up, etc. They were pushing it to get it in position to get a jump.

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I sure hope that if I am in a situation like that, I will still have the presence of mind to just say "no thanks, we're OK!" or something similar.  

But I seriously doubt this guy is going to be hanging his head in shame over this incident. He may not have even considered his language to be offensive and unacceptable. 

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Wow, what would he have done if you brought some cookies over, punched you in the face? Yikes.  People seem to think that they don't have to exert any self control.  Adults can feel angry, frustrated..whatever.. doesn't mean you throw a fit,curse, or take it out on anyone else because  things aren't going your way. Crazy.

Edited by SilverBrook
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