Perimenopause and mild/moderate depression--what helps?

[Hyacinth]

Asking for a friend. 😏

She would describe herself with these points:

• Perilously close to 50.
• No history of depression though not exactly the type one would call bubbly or full of life. The introspection and desire to hibernate is greater than usual.
• Thoughts of regret, failure, and uselessness. "My kids don't really need me anymore." "My husband could probably take or leave me." (He kindly denies this.) "Who am I now?" "Where do I fit in?"
• Self-aware and mentally/emotionally healthy enough to recognize this state isn't normal for her and is probably related to hormones. 
• No passion or career to throw herself into and no real desire to find one either. Kind of apathetic about a lot of things.
• Tried antidepressants once as a migraine treatment and HATED it. Gained 20 pounds in two months and felt so very tired all the time. She reaaaaalllllly doesn't want to go that route.
• Is seeing a good NP who switched her to NatureThroid earlier this year (seems to be on a good dose now) and also started Vitamin D supplements. All other blood work checks out fine.

 

Some disciplines she's imposing on herself starting today:

• Significantly reduce sugar intake even though she just made these maddeningly delicious sugar cookies with an almond glaze and OMG are they DIVINE with a cup of tea!
• Exercise every day whether she feels like it or not even if it's just a 20-minute walk around the block.
• Read at least 20 minutes a day instead of vegetating with a screen.

 

Do you think these disciplines related to diet, exercise, and mental stimulation will help? 

Assuming she's not a danger to herself or others and this is, in fact, just a mild/moderate case of hormones going amuck before menopause, what else would the Hive advise my friend to consider?

Thanks, Hive!

[almondbutterandjelly]

Things that have helped me:  Low dose bcp (lo lo estrin fe), subligual B12

[gardenmom5]

Check thyroid.  Needs to be optimal,  not "in normal range"

5 htp

[forty-two]

When Your Body Gets the Blues talks about how the hormonal changes during one's monthly cycle can cause cyclical periods of mild depression.  IDK if it's directly applicable to perimenopause, but the advice is pretty commonsensical and overlaps with what your friend is already doing.  And what your friend describes matches the sorts of symptoms I feel with the hormone-driven, cycle-related mild depression. 

Anyway, there's three components to the book's solution: daily outdoor walk, increasing the amount of light you get in general (both sunlight and daylight-mimicking artificial light), and increasing six vitamins/minerals(Vitamin B1, B2 and B6, folic acid, vitamin D, and selenium).  I never really did her particular set of vitamins, because they made me sick, but I do get some amounts of everything but selenium in my usual vitamins.  I did do the other two things: a 20-30min daily outdoor walk and increasing the amount of light in my surroundings in general.  (I also did a light therapy lamp because of Seasonal Affective Disorder.)  The book rec's getting a clear umbrella so that you can walk in the rain and still get the benefit of the outdoor light; I never did that, but in my climate we didn't have too many all-day rains, so I could work in my walk around the weather.  (I did walk in the snow, though.)  Light-wise, I changed all the bulbs in the house to the brightest daylight LEDs I could find, and made sure to set up my usual "spot" next to a window.  (I've noticed a difference between having my desk near a window versus having it in a spot that doesn't get direct sunlight.)

It really did help regulate my moods and reduce the cravings for comfort stuff (food, vegetating, wanting to stay in bed, teA, online validation).  I started to recognize the cravings for what they were - attempts to self-medicate to feel better, because my body really was feeling down.  Recognizing that my slightly desperate craving for whatever form of comfort is not really a craving for food, or a craving for love/attention, etc., but is actually a more physiologically-based craving to feel better - helped me feel more sane and balanced.  And the components of the program are meant to help solve the *cause* of one's body feeling down. 

[ScoutTN]

Acupuncture helped tremendously with all issues/symptoms related to The Change. Not a quick fix, but very effective over several months. 

 

[fairfarmhand]

I’ve dealt with similar. 

When I get like this:

15 min reading the book of psalms each day

15 minutes outdoors per day

15 minutes moving my body per day.

also, I force myself into a few social situations each week when I have the urge to hibernate. 

[freesia]

5-HtP and l-theanine help me ( along with exercise, vitamin D and sunlight. ).  I haven't had any adverse effects. 

[Sunshine State Sue]

9 hours ago, ScoutTN said:

Acupuncture helped tremendously with all issues/symptoms related to The Change. Not a quick fix, but very effective over several months.

Acupuncture was remarkable for me.  I felt better after 2 treatments and after 6 treatments didn't need any more for years.

I used an herbal formula from a local store called 'Change of Life'.  They claimed it was their #1 seller.

I tried progesterone cream and it was ineffective.

ETA:  I can relate to the first 5 points your friend experienced in addition to being very irritable.  I also changed to a healthier diet and continued lots of exercise at this time.

Edited December 8, 2018 by Sue in St Pete

[OH_Homeschooler]

11 hours ago, perkybunch said:

Things that have helped me:  Low dose bcp (lo lo estrin fe), subligual B12

 

I've had depression/been on antidepressants forever, but in perimenopause I started dealing with PMDD as well. It got to the point where I was tempted to drive off a bridge. Loloestrin has been a literal lifesaver. I'd always had trouble on birth control but not with this one. It's amazing feeling how I'm supposed to feel every single day of the month.

[J-rap]

Possibly...

High doses of vitamin D for awhile (especially during the winter months)

B12

Get enough sleep

Maintain social connections

Exercise (even if you hate it..., and even if it's just a good, fast walk three days/week)

Help those worse off than yourself

Join a book club

Try out a new haircut/style

Make a list of all of the "to do" things you can think of, and try and cross off at least one/day (even something as simple as making a doctor appointment!)

Find one friend (either already existing or new) who together, you can encourage and challenge each other

 

 

 

 

[wintermom]

20 hours ago, Hyacinth said:

Some disciplines she's imposing on herself starting today:

• Significantly reduce sugar intake even though she just made these maddeningly delicious sugar cookies with an almond glaze and OMG are they DIVINE with a cup of tea!
• Exercise every day whether she feels like it or not even if it's just a 20-minute walk around the block.
• Read at least 20 minutes a day instead of vegetating with a screen.

 

Do you think these disciplines related to diet, exercise, and mental stimulation will help? 

Yes, for 2 reasons: firstly, because scientific research proves that they help, and secondly, because she is "buying-in" herself and motivated to see a change. 

As a friend, you can help out by offering to exercise with her, if that's at all possible,  as it's way more motivating to be active with a buddy. Then you can both benefit!

[bethben]

I would check progesterone/testosterone levels.  When I had mine checked a while back, they were completely tanked.  For me, I was feeling hyper all the time and agitated.  They have really calmed my system down.  For me, I'm taking 125mg sublingual per day.  Progesterone cream couldn't get me up to those levels. I'm also in the periously close to 50 stage also.

[iamonlyone]

OTC progesterone cream helped me too (as Myblessings4 mentioned). I like the brand Emerita. I found the book Before the Change, Taking Charge of Your Perimenopause by Ann Louise Gittleman to be helpful. She offers suggestions (mostly herbal or foods or vitamins) to address specific symptoms.

[Acadie]

On 12/7/2018 at 10:09 AM, Hyacinth said:

 

• No passion or career to throw herself into and no real desire to find one either. Kind of apathetic about a lot of things.

 

So many great suggestions from previous posters above! 

But this question of passion or career--and really the more fundamental question of desire vs. apathy--stands out to me. I have a friend who said she spent 3 months after her kids went to school staring up at the ceiling, for the most part, because she didn't feel like doing anything. After that, she began to feel her own desire again, and got up to pursue it. What if, after all the years you put into educating and caring for your family, you just listen for whatever sparks the tiniest bit of desire in you, and follow it, even if it seems small or inconsequential?

Have you ever considered writing? Your initial post is quite vivid and well-written. 

Writing can be a fabulous daily discipline in pursuit of emotional health. Or reading and writing can be like following a gleaming trail of crumbs back to your own pleasure, and desire, and potentially your next move in the the world. 

Amy