Rachel Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 A couple times a year my kids will go spend the night with my inlaws for a day or two. It’s so nice for my husband and me to have alone time and the kids really enjoy going. I have great inlaws, but recovering is exhausting. My inlaws have a small farm and the kids help with chores twice a day. It’s good for the kids and they have a lot of fun, especially with the bottle calves. However, everything they take smells like cows, and hay, and is covered mystery dirt. No one ever ends up bathing because they run out of time. Step one once we get the kids home is stripping everyone down as they come into our house, kids go straight for showers and baths and all the laundry goes straight into the wash. Despite the high of 19 today, my youngest son turned the bath water brown. I don’t understand how because every bit of him was covered when he was outside! Something always goes missing. Usually it’s clothes, maybe a book I didn’t know got taken there, this time it was a stuff sack for the sleeping bag. It’s usually not a huge deal, it’s just frustrating since the kids basically stay in one room and the house is tiny. 5 adults searched for that stuff sack and it never turned up. I always tell the kids to keep anything they aren’t using in their backpacks. Grandma isn’t a stickler for picking up and doesn’t enforce it with the kids. When we arrived today it looked like a clothes and toy explosion had happened in the living room. I guess I should be thankful more things don’t go missing. No one gets their teeth brushed, no one even noticed that two kids didn’t have tooth brushes until bedtime of day two. There were three tubes of toothpaste in the toiletry bag though ðŸ˜. Fortunately grandma made them rince with mouthwash. Surely that killed some bacteria and got some sugar off their teeth. The kids go to bed way late and eat way too much junk food. It’s fine while they are at grandpa and grandma’s, but they crash hard at home. It takes about a day and a half per day they were gone to get rested up again. My daughter especially crashes and just cries and cries because she is so exhausted and can’t seem to hold it together long enough to get in bed. The part I hate is that I always end up feeling like a bad guy at some point. My husband has way too many stories of the stupid things he and his cousins did on the farm as kids. My inlaws are much more careful with the grandkids, but we don’t see always eye to eye on what is safe. We found out this trip the kids had all been riding on equipment they knew they weren’t supposed to be on. My MIL is very mild mannered and doesn’t want to offend anyone, but she is not a clear communicator. I feel like I’m constantly telling her “no, that’s not ok†after she thinks I have given approval. She isn’t being malicious, she really thinks she has addressed my concerns and gotten approval. Anyway, it’s tiring. I’m glad the kids have fun, but I’m also glad it only happens 2-3 times per year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 :grouphug: How old are your kids? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 Yeah that sounds tiring. Some worthwhile things take immense effort! I bet the kids are building some great memories. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted December 28, 2017 Author Share Posted December 28, 2017 :grouphug: How old are your kids? 10,8, 5. The 5 year old has only been twice because of chores. He isn’t much help and it’s hard to keep an eye on him while working. As much as my inlaws love my kids, it’s hard on them watching all three. They would probably prefer having the kids just one as a time but they are self employed so they are kind of limited on when the kids can visit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted December 28, 2017 Author Share Posted December 28, 2017 Yeah that sounds tiring. Some worthwhile things take immense effort! I bet the kids are building some great memories. Definitely! I’m so thankful they get that time with their grandparents. The kids would probably choose the farm over Disney World if given the choice. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 (edited) Definitely! I’m so thankful they get that time with their grandparents. The kids would probably choose the farm over Disney World if given the choice.When my older kids were little my parents lived in Europe and we made the trip a few times to visit. I was really happy I could take them, especially to the city where we lived when I was in high school (my parents had moved away and later moved back) but those trips we're sooo exhausting for me. Worth it, but hard. Those were the memories that came back to me when reading your post even though the circumstances are quite different. Edited December 28, 2017 by maize 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 Sorry it is so hard on you but it sounds like an awesome time for the kids. We have a hobby farm and kids loved to come here. I try to warn parents to have the kids wear OLD clothes and shoes. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 I wish I had a farm to send my kids to :) 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 Sounds a lot like when kids go to camp. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted December 28, 2017 Author Share Posted December 28, 2017 (edited) Sorry it is so hard on you but it sounds like an awesome time for the kids. We have a hobby farm and kids loved to come here. I try to warn parents to have the kids wear OLD clothes and shoes. That’s what we do. I look for the clothes with holes on the knees and stains. If the kids went more often they would have farm boots but for now they have to wear whichever pair of shoes they just outgrew. I keep reminding myself that not all kids have grandparents. It’s good for the kids to be with their grandparents. It’s good for me to let go of some control. Edited December 28, 2017 by Rach 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted December 28, 2017 Author Share Posted December 28, 2017 Sounds a lot like when kids go to camp. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Thats a great description! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 It's nice that your kids love going there so much. I grew up on a farm and have my own little horse farm now. I think that doing chores and taking care of animals are the best things in the world for kids. :) I can understand your concern about the farm equipment. Sadly, there have been way too many instances of kids getting hurt or killed on farm equipment around here. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 I can see how it is frustrating for you and I am glad you are still letting your kids go out there and have the experience of being on the farm with their grandparents. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 I’m sure it will get easier as the kids get older. Hang in there. It’s worth keeping the tradition to get some kid-free time and for them to have those memories. Very soon they’ll be old enough to manage their own showers there and laundry when they get home. Treat yourself to some nice room freshener to use when they return. 😂 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted December 28, 2017 Author Share Posted December 28, 2017 It's nice that your kids love going there so much. I grew up on a farm and have my own little horse farm now. I think that doing chores and taking care of animals are the best things in the world for kids. :) I can understand your concern about the farm equipment. Sadly, there have been way too many instances of kids getting hurt or killed on farm equipment around here. Yes, I’m sure from a statistical view my kids are relatively safe. However, every summer I hear at least one story of a kid riding on grandpa’s lap, falling off, and getting run over by a tractor or mower. It’s not very far from the house to the barn or the calf stalls, maybe 1/4 mile. The kids can easily walk even if grandma or grandpa drives. My nieces and nephew that live on a couple thousand acres aren’t allowed on equipment that doesn’t have a seat for them, that’s the rule we follow. I’m sure I’m more cautious than some other people, but we all have our thing. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted December 28, 2017 Author Share Posted December 28, 2017 I’m sure it will get easier as the kids get older. Hang in there. It’s worth keeping the tradition to get some kid-free time and for them to have those memories. Very soon they’ll be old enough to manage their own showers there and laundry when they get home. Treat yourself to some nice room freshener to use when they return. 😂 Apparently once grandpa did get put in charge of showers. I can’t remember how old my daughter was, but he was uncomfortable being in the bathroom with her, so he turned on the shower, gave her a new bar of soap, then left the room. She had never seen bar soap, by the time he thought she should be clean and checked on her again, the entire bar was gone! 😂 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 Check the very bottom of the sleeping bag for the stuff sack. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted December 28, 2017 Author Share Posted December 28, 2017 Check the very bottom of the sleeping bag for the stuff sack.I did, twice, and in the other two sleeping bags. I’m sure it will turn up in a random place. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 (edited) I keep reminding myself that not all kids have grandparents. Keep remembering this. Having grandparents that know and love you is a privilege. Edited December 28, 2017 by happi duck 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 These visits sound amazing for your dc and for you and dh to rest and relax. It's always tough those first few minutes when dc return and the quiet house becomes somewhat chaotic. Maybe you need to prepare yourself a little for these inevitable moments. It's not really the non-shower and missing stuff that is the problem, unless you are a very particular person in general. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted December 28, 2017 Author Share Posted December 28, 2017 These visits sound amazing for your dc and for you and dh to rest and relax. It's always tough those first few minutes when dc return and the quiet house becomes somewhat chaotic. Maybe you need to prepare yourself a little for these inevitable moments. It's not really the non-shower and missing stuff that is the problem, unless you are a very particular person in general. Yes, it’s not any one thing that’s a huge deal. It’s more the combination and going from the highs of just having had a relaxing couple of days, seeing the kids so happy with their grandparents, then everyone crashing at home. The emotional breakdowns are hard, especially from my least emotional child. The following few days while the kids get readjusted to structure at home are tough too. It all works out but it’s mentally exhausting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 One if mine needs recovery time. The event had to be worth it . I feel your pain even if they love to go. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 Think of it as an intense flexibility class for all involved. Flexibility is THE life skill. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 Would scheduling a flexible fun day for everyone when you get back instead of instant routine help. The smells and dirt can't be helped but the transitions might be able to be. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted December 28, 2017 Author Share Posted December 28, 2017 Would scheduling a flexible fun day for everyone when you get back instead of instant routine help. The smells and dirt can't be helped but the transitions might be able to be. We usually try to take it easy. Last night we got home, I helped with baths while my husband fixed supper. We had cuddle time on the couch after supper, then the kids went to bed. Today we have nothing planned and the older two are still asleep at 8:20. I do try to be mindful of what is best. If we tried to do school today, it would be a disaster. Some parts of a normal routine you just can’t put off though. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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