Life in a tailspin...desperately need independent curriculum recs for a 5th grader.

[pitterpatter]

My life (in actuality, my family's life) has been in a tailspin for the past nine months. My husband lost his job of fifteen years and had to take another that pays half of what his previous one did. My mom had a catastrophic health event in March that lead me to living in one hospital or another for a month-and-a-half. She is coming home in ten days (not because she is actually ready, but because Medicare is pretty much kicking her out). This will require me (and my daughter) to virtually move in with her to become her caretaker. I've had to do this twice before and it's all-consuming and will be even more intense this time around due to her new health needs and limited mobility. For those who have not done this sort of thing, this means I will become a 24-hour nurse, maid, cook, gopher, animal caretaker, hostess for visitors, financial manager, health planner, etc. at the expense of my own household and family. I also sell products on Teachers Pay Teachers, which started out as fun money, but is now essential income, so I will be sacrificing work time as well. (My mom does have a male companion who lives with her, but his way of thinking is outdated and pretty much will only drive her to doctor appointments, feed the animals, and put the clothes in the dryer.) 

 

The long and short of it is that I will have extremely limited time to homeschool my daughter this year. This is heartbreaking to me. We already had to finish early last year and we were to start the four-year cycle again for history and science this year. We were ahead a year in the cycle due to starting school early and schooling year around the first couple of years, so we didn't do our traditional four-year cycle subjects last year. My daughter has been looking forward to it for over a year. She loves ancient history and life science.

 

I have no idea when I will be able to see the light at the end of tunnel, so what are your best recommendations for mostly independent curriculum for a 5th grader? Bonus points if it's computer-based because my daughter like computers. TIA!!

 

ETA: Thank you, everyone! I appreciate yours thoughts and advice. I have an e-mail out to my mom's case manager that will hopefully open some dialogue regarding alternative options and services. Your curriculum suggestions were very helpful. I have made some selections that I think will be a good fit for us in our current situation. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Edited July 10, 2017 by pitterpatter

[Guest]

What has your daughter been doing up til now?

 

What does she do for school online now?

[pitterpatter]

A hodgepodge...last year was light. We were supposed to recharge. If there is no specific curriculum listed below for a subject, that means I pulled it together myself. We were supposed to do typing and some other electives, but it didn't happen. She hasn't done much online, just code.org and a little for Wordly Wise via an app and random stuff I find here and there.

 

Fourth Grade:

 

New American Cursive 2: Famous Americans

Christian Light Education: Language Arts, Grade 4

Christian Light Education: Reading, Grade 4

Singapore Math 4A & 4B

Apples & Pears A & B (She has dyslexia, but this is most apparent in her spelling.)

Modern History - WWII to Present (Finished up during our first couple of months.)

Geography - North America

50 States Study

Analogy Challenges: Level A

Perplexors: Basic Level

Music Appreciation/Composer Study

Art Appreciation/Artist Study

Deep Space Sparkle (Art)

Code.org

 

Third Grade:

 

Wordly Wise 3000: Book 3

New American Cursive 1

Rod & Staff: English, Grade 3

Christian Light Education: Reading, Grade 3

All About Spelling, Level 3

Didax Daily Mental Math, Grade 3

Singapore Math 3B

Modern History - Civil War to WWII

Physics

Getting Started With Spanish

Analogy Challenges: Level A

Perplexors: Basic Level

Music Appreciation/Composer Study

Art Appreciation/Artist Study

Home Art Studio: Second Grade

Deep Space Sparkle (Art)

 

 

What has your daughter been doing up til now?

What does she do for school online now?

 

Edited July 7, 2017 by pitterpatter

[YodaGirl]

Being a 24 hr caretaker is exhausting. I hope you have some ground rules in place regarding what you are and are not taking care if when it comes to your mom and her male companion. Knowing expectations from both sides (and how they compare to what you can logistically do) will save you a tremendous headache and burnout later on.

 

I'm not sure which programs that you'd planned on using, but if she was really looking forward to it, do you think she's be self-motivated to do history & science on her own?

 

What is she currently using for math? Saxon can be pretty self-led, especially when using Saxon Teacher.

 

I'm sure money is a huge concern. Worst case, would Khan Academy be possible for math? It's independent, and it's free.

[freesia]

The good news is that she is still young and taking a year off (or 6 months) from all your extra things won't hurt her at all. Really, I promise.

 

Teacher intensive though it is, I would stick with Apples and Pears. Nothing less teacher intensive will work with a dyslexic.

 

Stay with CLE for LA and reading (unless she is doing well and can read books on her own.  If she is reading independently, skip the reading for now and make a booklist and have her read a chapter a day and occasionally tell you about it.

 

You can also take one year of grammar if you need to. 

 

CLE has handwriting in it, so if you decide not to drop grammar, drop the extra handwriting.

 

For writing consider Daily 6-trait writing

 

Consider CLE for math.  The teaching is in the book and you know the series works.

 

Science: Consider ABeka 5 and just have her read the text book and occasionally ask her the questions. Don't do tests, etc.  I've done this with 2 kids and it hasn't been a problem at all.

 

Social Studies: Deep, deep breath.  There is nothing magic in the 4 year cycle. Since she likes ancients though, maybe you can just  make a book basket for her rotating through Ancient Egypt, Greeks, Romans and have her read. If that is too much, just wait.  One year without social studies won't hurt her as it looks like you've done a ton of social studies this year (US geography, states and Modern history--that's 2 socials).

 

 

Drop these.  They can wait a few months.

 

Geography - North America

50 States Study

Analogy Challenges: Level A

Perplexors: Basic Level

Music Appreciation/Composer Study

Art Appreciation/Artist Study

Deep Space Sparkle (Art)

Code.org

Edited July 7, 2017 by freesia

[Storygirl]

We used CLE LA all the way through middle school with my oldest. Fifth and sixth grades are particularly hard and require a lot of attention to detail, because each time the student has to mark up sentences, it requires many steps. It's easy for students to get bogged down or miss some steps. I found that I had to check my daughter's work carefully and go over it with her in detail daily.

 

It doesn't sound like that kind of requirement as a teacher is going to work for you. Many people dislike the CLE LA and give it up around sixth grade, so I'd suggest skipping it. It looks like your daughter has had several years of grammar already, and CLE LA is mostly grammar. It would be perfectly okay to just not do grammar at all this year. If you feel she needs some review, get something very light that will be easy for you to grade or that she can check herself. Just a workbook from Spectrum or similar would do.

 

If Apples and Pears spelling works for her, keep at it. I love CLE Reading, so I'd keep that. And just add something for writing to round out what you need for LA. Maybe you could get something online or a video series to teach writing. Or pick something like Wordsmith Apprentice, which is more creative writing.

 

For her independent reading (since CLE is a textbook, it's good to read some literature as well), she could listen to books on tape while she does whatever she likes for art or crafts, just for fun.

 

For history, could you have her do the Veritas self-paced history? We didn't use it, but it seems to be well regarded. It's online, and she could study Ancients.

 

Typing she can do on her own on the computer, as long as you check in with her periodically to make sure she is using proper finger placement.

 

I don't see science on your list. You could do science with videos.

 

I'd skip all of the electives, unless there is something that she likes and can do on her own. Some of the Critical Thinking materials come as a computer program.

 

I'm sorry about your mom.

[winterbaby]

Honestly, I hope this suggestion is not taken amiss but if you truly have a 24 hour caretaking commitment, you might consider bricks and mortar school. I do not agree that six months to a year of bare minimum is ok once they start getting into upper elementary/"logic stage." I'm also not sure how suitable it is for a young girl to spend her days off to the side of a caregiving situation in a home not your own, if I understand correctly about you and her having to virtually move in. Interest-led science and social studies is very afterschooling-friendly, but I don't think you should endanger the basics (and your own sanity) by pushing yourself to the limit. At this age they really need someone who can give substantial feedback on the structure of their writing etc. You would be free to go back to homeschooling at any time. Please don't take this the wrong way. Your situation sounds extremely challenging. I agree with PP about boundaries /ground rules about your duties in a household with a capable but "old-fashioned" male companion. You are not there to play maid to him - in your shoes I think I might bring my husband into the picture to help communicate that, if it's a question of male attitudes. I don't know if that would work in your family dynamic, it just ticks me off on your behalf! You can only do so much.

[pitterpatter]

Thank you for the suggestions so far. Please, keep them coming.

 

I've been looking at Mystery Science for the past couple of hours. It seems like something DD could do mostly on her own, if I create packets for her ahead of time. I showed her some of it and she seemed pretty excited. It's not as extensive as I would typically strive for, but it looks doable.

 

Any thoughts? Does anyone know whether it ever goes on sale via Homeschool Buyers Co-op, etc.? (Not that it's all that expensive really, but every little bit saved helps.)

[pitterpatter]

Don't think I haven't thought about it. DD even attended public summer school this year, just in case...to acclimate her. While she enjoyed making new friends, playing the games, and the general fun of it during the summer, she has said she does not want to go to public school during the regular school year. There were several things she was unimpressed with.

 

But, boy oh boy, would this ever please my family. They have never supported our decision to homeschool. This is something that angers me about the whole situation. Sending DD to public school is the simple, logical solution to them. It doesn't matter that it would be a complete disruption to our way of life. They have been waiting on the sidelines for us to fail, cry uncle, what have you. We have already been asked several times by different people if we are putting DD is public school. Homeschooling is why I'm home...it's my full time job. But, no one sees it as anything other than I'm free to be the caregiver since everyone else has real jobs, you know. Sigh. It would definitely be pouring salt into our wounds, so to speak...kicking a horse while it's down kind of thing.

 

 

Honestly, I hope this suggestion is not taken amiss but if you truly have a 24 hour caretaking commitment, you might consider bricks and mortar school. I do not agree that six months to a year of bare minimum is ok once they start getting into upper elementary/"logic stage." I'm also not sure how suitable it is for a young girl to spend her days off to the side of a caregiving situation in a home not your own, if I understand correctly about you and her having to virtually move in. Interest-led science and social studies is very afterschooling-friendly, but I don't think you should endanger the basics (and your own sanity) by pushing yourself to the limit. At this age they really need someone who can give substantial feedback on the structure of their writing etc. You would be free to go back to homeschooling at any time. Please don't take this the wrong way. Your situation sounds extremely challenging. I agree with PP about boundaries /ground rules about your duties in a household with a capable but "old-fashioned" male companion. You are not there to play maid to him - in your shoes I think I might bring my husband into the picture to help communicate that, if it's a question of male attitudes. I don't know if that would work in your family dynamic, it just ticks me off on your behalf! You can only do so much.

 

[freesia]

We did Mystery Science this year and the kids loved it.  That's a great idea.  In your situation, make sure you do make a kit though. There are still a few things we didn't get to b/c they wanted to finish all the units but I didn't look ahead for supplies at the end of the year.

 

winterbaby, I don't think anyone recommended the bare minimum. I said reading, writing, handwriting,  math, science and light social studies and to keep the intensive spelling.  I told her to drop the arts and analogies, that she could lighten social b/c she was doing double and to drop down to one handwriting program.A child who has done regular grammar can take a year off. Mine didn't even start grammar until 5th grade and my son scored in the 99th percentile in writing on the SAT, got a 5 on the Eng Lang and Comp test, etc.  The OP can easily cut a few things for a few months without any harm and shouldn't feel guilty.

 

That said, OP, I agree to be realistic about the load on you and whether decent schooling does get done overall.  You seem like you are very conscientious and more prone to overdoing it and stressing yourself out completely.  If you need to consider/put her in a b&m school, do it.  Maybe check in with yourself every 3 months and be honest about how your dd and you are doing and whether "it is working" for her and you..

 

 

[Insertcreativenamehere]

 

 

Does anyone know whether it ever goes on sale via Homeschool Buyers Co-op, etc.? (Not that it's all that expensive really, but every little bit saved helps.)

They just had it on sale for $49 through the month of June, so I wouldn't expect another sale soon. The regular rate is $69. It's definitely worth every penny. We loved it last year!

[pitterpatter]

Well, phooey! I appreciate you letting me know. :)

 

They just had it on sale for $49 through the month of June, so I wouldn't expect another sale soon. The regular rate is $69. It's definitely worth every penny. We loved it last year!

 

[Insertcreativenamehere]

There is a free trial for a year as well, although you don't get access to all the mysteries.

 

Sent from my Moto G (4) using Tapatalk

[TCB]

If there is anything else you're looking for please post it. If I have it I would be happy to send it to you as my kids are older and I have a number of things from previous years.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Op, with the dynamic and attitudes toward you that you describe...is there any other way? I was thinking a year of ps for dd, too, but with your update? Now I want you to hs your child, no matter what!

 

Are there any other siblings to rotate care? Is there any money that somebody's not wanting to spend since they can have you 24/7 for free? What happens if mom runs out all the assets so she can maybe qualify for assisted living on Medicaid?

 

If you go to the chat board here and start a thread about being a full time carer to a parent, there are many, many Wtmers with experience. You could get commiseration and advice.

 

I'm sorry this is all happening. I hope your mom will be well.

Edited July 8, 2017 by Tibbie Dunbar

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I looked at your blog. You are an awesome hs'er, and dd deserves to continue her excellent education with you. Whether that's possible or not, I just wanted to tell you that you both have done a great job.

[Farrar]

This sounds so hard. But it also sounds like you can be successful. She's young. I think you can make this work out.

 

I can think of lots of different potential things, but I'm not totally sure where to go in suggesting things. Like, are you picturing her sitting at the computer on a get it done program like Time4Learning? Doing online classes? Using resources like Khan Academy? Do you want to be making a long book list? Handing her workbooks? Do you picture her using her time for creative projects of her own?

 

Basically, what's your ideal vision, Pitterpatter? Other than having you or being able to hire another you to help her, what would be the perfect resources in your mind? What would they do and look like and cover?

[shinyhappypeople]

My life (in actuality, my family's life) has been in a tailspin for the past nine months. My husband lost his job of fifteen years and had to take another that pays half of what his previous one did. My mom had a catastrophic health event in March that lead me to living in one hospital or another for a month-and-a-half. She is coming home in ten days (not because she is actually ready, but because Medicare is pretty much kicking her out). This will require me (and my daughter) to virtually move in with her to become her caretaker. I've had to do this twice before and it's all-consuming and will be even more intense this time around due to her new health needs and limited mobility. For those who have not done this sort of thing, this means I will become a 24-hour nurse, maid, cook, gopher, animal caretaker, hostess for visitors, financial manager, health planner, etc. at the expense of my own household and family. I also sell products on Teachers Pay Teachers, which started out as fun money, but is now essential income, so I will be sacrificing work time as well. (My mom does have a male companion who lives with her, but his way of thinking is outdated and pretty much will only drive her to doctor appointments, feed the animals, and put the clothes in the dryer.) 

 

The long and short of it is that I will have extremely limited time to homeschool my daughter this year. This is heartbreaking to me. We already had to finish early last year and we were to start the four-year cycle again for history and science this year. We were ahead a year in the cycle due to starting school early and schooling year around the first couple of years, so we didn't do our traditional four-year cycle subjects last year. My daughter has been looking forward to it for over a year. She loves ancient history and life science.

 

I have no idea when I will be able to see the light at the end of tunnel, so what are your best recommendations for mostly independent curriculum for a 5th grader? Bonus points if it's computer-based because my daughter like computers. TIA!!

 

"I cannot be a full-time caregiver right now.  In addition to homeschooling my daughter, I need to continue working.  Let's come up with a different plan."   You might offer other options if you feel like it :  "I can help on the weekends." OR "I can come by in the mornings to help mom get ready," OR some other ways that make sense for your situation.

 

It is okay to defend yourself.

 

It is okay to prioritize your daughter's education and providing for your family.

 

It is okay to refuse to spend MONTHS living apart from your husband (I mean, seriously, what the heck??)

 

It is okay to say no.

 

Trust me.  If you say no, they'll figure out a way to make it work.  If they're mad, so be it.  You were not put on this planet to make everyone happy all the time.  That's way above your pay grade.  

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  <--- because this is so much easier said than done.

[abacus2]

I love my mother dearly, but I couldn't quit my family to be a full time caretaker. I would be looking for other arrangements here. My daughter enjoyed Mystery Science, although she went through it quickly.

[YodaGirl]

"I cannot be a full-time caregiver right now. In addition to homeschooling my daughter, I need to continue working. Let's come up with a different plan." You might offer other options if you feel like it : "I can help on the weekends." OR "I can come by in the mornings to help mom get ready," OR some other ways that make sense for your situation.

 

It is okay to defend yourself.

 

It is okay to prioritize your daughter's education and providing for your family.

 

It is okay to refuse to spend MONTHS living apart from your husband (I mean, seriously, what the heck??)

 

It is okay to say no.

 

Trust me. If you say no, they'll figure out a way to make it work. If they're mad, so be it. You were not put on this planet to make everyone happy all the time. That's way above your pay grade.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: <--- because this is so much easier said than done.

This.

 

And in all honesty, it's not like she lives alone. There's someone who *can* do it or at least someone to do it half the time.

[pitterpatter]

Thank you all for your support. I'm going to bed for now, but will be back tomorrow for further discussion.

 

I just discovered Singapore Math Primary Digital. We've used Singapore Math the entire way so far and I'd hate to give it up. The design is convoluted, but I studied up on it with the video guides and completed several lessons on my own and I think it could work. It's kind of pricey, but it's really not all that bad when you compare it to a year's worth of printed texts. If it could work, that would so, so helpful. Math is one of those subjects you just can't teach effectively with interruptions.

 

I don't really want do online programs (not in my heart), but having the stressful/time-consuming/teacher-intensive subjects (math and science are my biggest stressors timewise...well, writing too, but I'm not sure there's online learning for that) taken care would greatly reduce my stress level. It would enable DD to get it done (at least have the opportunity to do so) even if I'm tied up cleaning up or changing a busted colostomy bag (happens a lot), assisting with toileting, etc. Health needs that can't wait. At the same time, I don't want complete fluff. And, I'd love to figure out how to do ancients and life science this year.

 

Ok...off to bed.

[shinyhappypeople]

OK, I'm going to stop telling you how to live your life long enough to give you some actual curriculum help.

 

Ancients: From Adam to Us with the Audio supplement.  It's actually all of world history but it starts with Ancients, so does that still count? :)  It can be done fairly independently and it has literature and Bible built in.  Just have her use audiobooks from the library if the reading becomes too overwhelming. 

 

:grouphug:

[shinyhappypeople]

Life Science: the first 4 units of Lifepac/Monarch/SOS grade 5 cover life science.  Lifepac is the workbook version, Monarch is online, SOS is CD-ROM, the content is almost exactly the same in each of the formats.  The online and CD formats are self-grading.  You can try a month of Monarch for free to see if you like it.  

 

OR... (and this could work for ancients or life science) what about task cards? They look really fun and she could do most of her research online, since she likes computers.

[Guest]

So, for the open and go aspect of it, I like Memoria Press Science and History for the 4-8 grade crowd. History is one book + one wb, and the teacher guide (answers) if you want it. Science is similar with just a few more books. There's the Famous Men series, the "Book of" series and the Story of the 13 Colonies, all of which could work for a 5th grader. And then birds, mammals, insects and trees for science.  I use MP products in isolation (from their program--I don't just use MP is what I'm saying) every year and it works out very well.

 

Another open and go history option is the Story of Western Civ wb's. Secular, I think.

 

The Good and The Beautiful are worktexts.

 

CLE is always great imo. LA and math.

 

Math mammoth can be done on a computer if you're into that because the PDFs are fill-inable.

 

I have not used this one, but Essentials in Writing give you a DVD teacher, and it's a "legit" course.

 

Perplexors and things like that are great to keep up on her own.

 

 

Lots of audio books. Oh! actually that brings up... ELTL, using audio (it's all on librivox, that was one of the constraints the author limited herself to!) might be something else to think about.

 

Edited July 8, 2017 by OKBud

[fralala]

I don't have much to say, except:

 

-switching to Math in Focus (used if you're pinching pennies) for next year might make it easier for her to do math more independently without relying on an online component. I don't know about the SM site you mentioned, but I've found setting up/maintaining/assisting my oldest DD with technology is actually often more disruptive and time-consuming than simply saying "Circle the problems you can't figure out and move on," or "ok, I've got to go change a diaper, work on these review problems when I'm away." Since the Math in Focus textbooks are more clearly written to the student and incremental (I think-- I've only looked at 2 levels, but you can view complete texts on the hmhco website if you're willing to give them some personal information) I'd think they might be easier for your daughter to do on her own.

 

-I'm sorry for what you're going through, but you can do it! While taking care of an aging parent with health woes is infinitely more emotionally draining and difficult (in my personal opinion) than caring for babies and young children, many of us do manage to provide an education for our children despite the frequent distractions and interruptions of having to deal with the bodily functions and physical needs of other people. It's not ideal, but you will make it work! I suspect you will also have more opportunities in your day to have meaningful, interesting conversations with your child than a classroom teacher would...I absolutely believe in sending your child to B&M school if it's best for your family, but let's not delude ourselves about what scholarship in a fifth grade classroom looks like! It's easy enough to feel inadequate if your family doesn't support you, but quite likely interspersed throughout your day are many opportunities to support your daughter's learning.

 

The main thing I'd be concerned about is your own self-care and emotional state, but I think we all react to this situation through the lens of our own maternal relationships, so I won't even go there for now!

[HomeAgain]

There is a program out there called History At Our House.  They have an Ancient History course (secular) that is all video lectures.  We did a one-day course that was live and my son absolutely adored it.

[pitterpatter]

Thanks! I saw this just yesterday and am totally curious about it. I couldn't get the samples to work. I may try a different browser later. It's almost as if they forgot to link the samples...there's nothing to really click on.

 

 

There is a program out there called History At Our House.  They have an Ancient History course (secular) that is all video lectures.  We did a one-day course that was live and my son absolutely adored it.

 

[73349]

BurningCargo.com is a free game to teach typing. DS enjoys it.

 

 

On the other hand, I would not be taking over as a 24/7 caregiver. Can you talk with your mom's doctor and/or social services about what can be done for her, since you are working and homeschooling and can't really do that?

 

I think you may need to look beyond this year, as well, in case your mom's condition remains the same for an extended time. If you are her caregiver for the next year, what if she needs the same level of care for five years?

[dachewitt]

Hi, 

 

So sorry to hear of the hurdles thrown at your family. Even if dementia is not part of your mother's diagnosis, please take time to read The 36-hour Day. It is a family guide to caregiving and will have resources for you as you become the primary caregiver. It has chapters on taking care of yourself and children too. Also, check with the Social Worker at her current facility to try to get as much help at home as possible. There are many aging in place and caregiver support groups where you may be able to get volunteers to give you some help or free time by sitting and keeping your mother company (and safe) while you run errands or take a breather. You may have to convince your mother's partner to do more--explain that this is what is done for someone you love. Also, if you do have other family that can help, try to get a commitment of help (bring dinner every Tuesday, give you a Saturday afternoon away, take Mom for a drive, etc.). 

 

For school, if you follow the basics in the Well-Trained Mind, I think it can be done inexpensively with lots of library resources. Just focus on the basics with lots of outside reading until your life settles down. At my library, I can order books online and they notify me when they are ready to pick up. I hope yours offers a similar service. I go through the Well-trained mind or other lists (from here) for history, literature, and science and order books. If they do not have it, I move on to the next on the list. The librarians also could be a great reference for suggesting books. Audio books are great too for listening during car rides to medical appointments or arts and crafts.

 

If you do not have a copy of the Well-Trained mind, contact me. I have two and could part with one. The older version doesn't have Susan Wise Bauer's writing course, but we have found that course to be pretty independent for daily work, especially for Writing with Skill. At 5th grade, your daughter may do better with Writing with Ease if she hasn't used the course before. That is more teacher involved, but still not so much if you are using other independent sources. SWB recommends Writing with skill for 6th and above. My kids are older so I have already parted with many of the younger grade books or I would share. In 5th grade, my kids used the history and science encyclopedias as spines and did the extra reading/projects/experiments as we could.

 

For typing: BBC Dance mat typing was easy/independent and best of all--free. https://www.dancemattypingguide.com/dance-mat-typing-level-1/. Both my kids are self taught using this program.

 

It sounds like you have other good recommendations for math and science. For a 5th grader, try to balance computer work with books and paper. I hope she'll be in an area that she can get outside daily too to play and go for nature hikes, etc. (you too for the mental break from being a caregiver). 

 

Your mother is fortunate to have you. I'm sure she will appreciate being in her own home and getting to know her granddaughter better.

 

Best wishes,

Debbie in Maryland 

 

 

[lmrich]

I think you have a lot of great suggestions on curriculum.  You know what to focus on and what subjects are most important to have a teacher's interaction and which ones you can make independent. You are an excellent teacher and mom.

 

Is there a way you can set boundaries with your mom and her male companion so you can get fours a day off from giving care? Then can you negotiate another 2 hours in the evening so you have time to care for yourself? I really think you are going to be doing this for a long time, and you really need to take care of yourself and your daughter if you are going to be successful in caring for your mom. Does she qualify for any services from the county? Can you talk to a social worker to see what is available for her? 

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[HomeAgain]

Thanks! I saw this just yesterday and am totally curious about it. I couldn't get the samples to work. I may try a different browser later. It's almost as if they forgot to link the samples...there's nothing to really click on.

 

I don't remember if we ever got the samples to work.  It's why I signed him up for the one day course.  He was in the middle of a unit on Ancient Egypt, which is what the course was on, and it was a freebie to boot, so....he really liked the teacher and stayed engaged the entire hour - something I didn't think possible for a 7yo.  It's in the back of my mind to do a full course in 5th or 6th for him.

 

[pitterpatter]

I've been giving this a lot thought since reading your post last night. While I don't think Time4Learning is quite our style, I think utilizing some digital options might be the best way to ensure consistency and that DD at least has the opportunity to get a basic level of schooling done without absolutely requiring me to be right beside her. I don't plan to cast her aside. I still want us to interact. (Although, I am kind of worried about this. The TV pretty much always runs at my mom's house. The quite rooms are all upstairs.) What I think we need, though, is curriculum where DD can at least get started on each subject on her own, if need be. I don't want her to have to wait on me to start something, if I'm not available. I think CLE for language arts would still work since it's written to student. She has done well with the program and has a penchant for diagramming, etc. I like that there is review built in too.

 

I also still want our homeschooling to be literature rich and provide interesting work for DD. Maybe for history she could start with a BrainPOP video to introduce a subject, then move onto a reading selection, an audiobook to listen to outside of school time, and something like Evan-Moor History Pockets (if anyone has other similar recommendations, please don't be shy).

 

I think creating checklists might be the way to go. The other consideration is that on my DH's days off, she might want to stay home and school there. In this scenario, my DH would also need to be able to see exactly what needs to get done. Her work would need to be somewhat portable.

 

I think I would like the accomplish the following as a bare minimum this coming year.

 

- Grammar/LA (Perhaps stick with CLE.)

- Reading (Either CLE or via literature study...how she would do the latter independently, I'm not sure.)

- Math (I'm leaning toward Singapore Primary Digital, as it feels overwhelming to jump to a different brand of math at this point.)

- Life Science (Mystery Science to start with perhaps. Anyone know something else open-and-go we could supplement with?)

- Ancient History

- Spelling (Apples & Pears, I guess. We don't love it and I'm not sure it's helping DD as we had hoped, but there's no way we could switch back to AAS, at this point.)

- Typing

 

PS - What grades are science and history for on Khan Academy? High school? I can't find where they are labeled.

 

 

This sounds so hard. But it also sounds like you can be successful. She's young. I think you can make this work out.

 

I can think of lots of different potential things, but I'm not totally sure where to go in suggesting things. Like, are you picturing her sitting at the computer on a get it done program like Time4Learning? Doing online classes? Using resources like Khan Academy? Do you want to be making a long book list? Handing her workbooks? Do you picture her using her time for creative projects of her own?

 

Basically, what's your ideal vision, Pitterpatter? Other than having you or being able to hire another you to help her, what would be the perfect resources in your mind? What would they do and look like and cover?

 

[Farrar]

I can't imagine trying to do a literature program in this situation. I'd make a book list. And, honestly, if she's a trustworthy kid and a decent reader already, I think that's enough. Maybe she could be assigned to write an Amazon or Goodreads review for each book once she's done. And that's it. But if you really need more, you could choose books that have questions easily found online or make a list of creative culminating projects. Though, really, I think it's overkill in your situation. She can just read. It's a short period of life. She's only in 5th grade. It will be okay. Take that energy and put it somewhere else entirely.

 

The Khan history and science stuff is at too high a level for most 5th graders to use as a primary course, I think.

 

You might have to be willing to let go of next year being ancient history specifically. And if you do, I think that's okay. 

[ErinD]

Apologies if someone has already thrown this out there, but my internet is lagging and I can't read previous posts today! You might want to consider a year of www.allinonehomeschooling.com It's free and written for a child to work on independently. It's all done online with links, so your 5th grader could do her schoolwork wherever you are.

[YodaGirl]

I've been giving this a lot thought since reading your post last night. While I don't think Time4Learning is quite our style, I think utilizing some digital options might be the best way to ensure consistency and that DD at least has the opportunity to get a basic level of schooling done without absolutely requiring me to be right beside her. I don't plan to cast her aside. I still want us to interact. (Although, I am kind of worried about this. The TV pretty much always runs at my mom's house. The quite rooms are all upstairs.) What I think we need, though, is curriculum where DD can at least get started on each subject on her own, if need be. I don't want her to have to wait on me to start something, if I'm not available. I think CLE for language arts would still work since it's written to student. She has done well with the program and has a penchant for diagramming, etc. I like that there is review built in too.

 

I also still want our homeschooling to be literature rich and provide interesting work for DD. Maybe for history she could start with a BrainPOP video to introduce a subject, then move onto a reading selection, an audiobook to listen to outside of school time, and something like Evan-Moor History Pockets (if anyone has other similar recommendations, please don't be shy).

 

I think creating checklists might be the way to go. The other consideration is that on my DH's days off, she might want to stay home and school there. In this scenario, my DH would also need to be able to see exactly what needs to get done. Her work would need to be somewhat portable.

 

I think I would like the accomplish the following as a bare minimum this coming year.

 

- Grammar/LA (Perhaps stick with CLE.)

- Reading (Either CLE or via literature study...how she would do the latter independently, I'm not sure.)

- Math (I'm leaning toward Singapore Primary Digital, as it feels overwhelming to jump to a different brand of math at this point.)

- Life Science (Mystery Science to start with perhaps. Anyone know something else open-and-go we could supplement with?)

- Ancient History

- Spelling (Apples & Pears, I guess. We don't love it and I'm not sure it's helping DD as we had hoped, but there's no way we could switch back to AAS, at this point.)

- Typing

 

PS - What grades are science and history for on Khan Academy? High school? I can't find where they are labeled.

IEW's Phonetic Zoo is independent if you purchase the level CDs. That's $99, though.

 

A computer option would be using spellingcity.com. Most of it is free, although there is a premium portion. You can use pre-made spelling lists from other users, or you can enter in your own. K12reader.com has grade-level spelling lists.

 

A free workbook option would be McGraw-Hill Treasures. It's available as a free pdf. I'm not overly excited about the testing aspect of it since it's just multiple choice, but it's free and can be done independently.

 

We switched to literature studies last year (4th grade) for reading, using Great Works Illustrated. Theoretically, you could copy the worksheets from the book and have her fill them out as she reads. Bookadventure.com is free for reading comprehension quizzes over whatever book she reads. Readtheory.org is good for improving reading comprehension and determining lexile ranges.

[pitterpatter]

I wish I could just say I can't, but right now, I see no other real option. (I have one younger sibling and she is not about to quit her job when I sit around and do nothing all day, every day. That's what people really think, I guess. Everyone with outside-the-house jobs get automatic outs. I'm the perfect answer to everyone else's potential problem. With me as caregiver, everyone else gets to go back to their normal lives. No more running back-and-forth to the hospital for them.) I have filed for Medicaid for her, which has been a full-time job within itself of late since she did have some modest assets. Dealing with Medicare and Medicaid has been an eye-opening experience. Options are very limited. When you get down to it, it's really up to the family to step in and take care of the family member. At this point, she HAS to be at home for a minimum of two months before she can get any additional inpatient help. If I fail to provide adequate care during this time (in-home health is limited to 2-3 days a weeks) and she starts relapsing and dies, all the better for the system. (I'm not even joking, but that's another thread.) She likely has terminal cancer, so things will probably start to go south at some point. She hasn't been eligible for any sort of cancer treatment since she's been in the hospital, as she's been too sick with various infections. She's a lot better on that front now, but her healthcare issues are many. She has not yet been approved for Medicaid, so she is not eligible for skilled nursing at this point. Even so, skilled nursing options are limited if she does not commit to moving in to a facility permanently. My mom is only sixty, so she's not truly elderly. However, she is obese, which compounds the difficulties in caring for her. She does not want to go into a nursing home. A crystal ball would be really helpful right now, if anyone has a working one to spare.

 

PS - Thanks for the typing rec. I don't think I've seen this one yet.

 

 

BurningCargo.com is a free game to teach typing. DS enjoys it.

 

 

On the other hand, I would not be taking over as a 24/7 caregiver. Can you talk with your mom's doctor and/or social services about what can be done for her, since you are working and homeschooling and can't really do that?

 

I think you may need to look beyond this year, as well, in case your mom's condition remains the same for an extended time. If you are her caregiver for the next year, what if she needs the same level of care for five years?

 

Edited July 8, 2017 by pitterpatter

[snowbeltmom]

I wish I could just say I can't, but right now, I see no other real option. (I have one younger sibling and she is not about to quit her job when I sit around and do nothing all day, every day. That's what people really think, I guess. Everyone with outside-the-house jobs get automatic outs. I'm the perfect answer to everyone else's potential problem. With me as caregiver, everyone else gets to go back to their normal lives. No more running back-and-forth to the hospital for them.) .

:grouphug:

From reading your posts, it looks like the rest of your extended family is taking advantage of your kindness and sense of duty to your mom.  You are only the answer to everyone else's problem if you let yourself be.  Your job homeschooling your daughter is just as important as everyone else's jobs and should be respected and treated as equally important.  I know it is easier said than done, but your sister and your mom's partner should not be able to "go back to their normal lives" and leave you to handle all of this on your own. 

 

:grouphug:

[Lang Syne Boardie]

What snowbeltmom said.

 

You do not have to let the others abandon mom, dd, and you!

 

I don't have a crystal ball, but how about an ace up your sleeve -- tell them all you will be moms primary carer for x number months, IF they will all contribute x number of hours per week to help. Whether they do it themselves or hire help is their decision, but they only get you if they stay in the game.

 

And even in these terms, you'll only do it for three months and then someone else will have to take a turn, and then you'll be back in your turn. Again, hiring help is sufficient, but everyone has to help.

 

If you were unmarried, had no children, and had adequate money to live on while caring full time, it would be reasonable for you to sacrifice your life for your dear mothers care. But none of that is true! You have a family. You have responsibilities. Your family needs you to work, to survive! It is not Cinderella time.

 

Your mother has more family, more people. You can refuse to obey everyone, to put your family on the back burner (how will your dd thrive,how will dh support you all), but still be very willing to do your part.

[The Governess]

I second looking into Notgrass for history. I will be using their US History program next year with my 6th grader. It includes a book list and assignments for literature as well and seems like it can be accomplished independently for the most part. I plan to turn my student loose with a weekly schedule and have a discussion at the end of each week to talk about what she learned that week.

[pitterpatter]

Oh, wow...this is wonderful! Pricey when you're low on funds, but wow. Looks high quality and well thought out. Love the supplemental MP3s. Thank you. I've read about Notgrass here before, but DD was always too young for it, so I forgot about it. Dang. I hate out new economic bracket. Wish you could buy it in smaller bundles.

 

I second looking into Notgrass for history. I will be using their US History program next year with my 6th grader. It includes a book list and assignments for literature as well and seems like it can be accomplished independently for the most part. I plan to turn my student loose with a weekly schedule and have a discussion at the end of each week to talk about what she learned that week.

 

[HomeAgain]

One more option for history - Creek Edge Press.  I don't believe their Ancients set is secular, but it has a lot of things going for it:

-cheap.  The entire year program is $20 or so.

-independent.  It's set up as task cards, about 36 or so in a set.  We used them weekly and had presentation Fridays.

-easy to be used with other sources you probably already have.  Nothing is set to one specific book. You will need a set of maps (we used our activity book from SOTW

-weekly variety.  The tasks include mapwork, internet research, encyclopaedia work, timeline, projects, and literature.

-adjustable. My kid didn't like all the projects.  We'd talk about the card at the beginning of the week, he'd pick something that met the same criteria but was different (like doing a powerpoint). I helped him divide the tasks into days and then he'd present on Fridays.

[eagleynne]

I wish I could just say I can't, but right now, I see no other real option. (I have one younger sibling and she is not about to quit her job when I sit around and do nothing all day, every day. That's what people really think, I guess. Everyone with outside-the-house jobs get automatic outs. I'm the perfect answer to everyone else's potential problem. With me as caregiver, everyone else gets to go back to their normal lives. No more running back-and-forth to the hospital for them.) I have filed for Medicaid for her, which has been a full-time job within itself of late since she did have some modest assets. Dealing with Medicare and Medicaid has been an eye-opening experience. Options are very limited. When you get down to it, it's really up to the family to step in and take care of the family member. At this point, she HAS to be at home for a minimum of two months before she can get any additional inpatient help. If I fail to provide adequate care during this time (in-home health is limited to 2-3 days a weeks) and she starts relapsing and dies, all the better for the system. (I'm not even joking, but that's another thread.) She likely has terminal cancer, so things will probably start to go south at some point. She hasn't been eligible for any sort of cancer treatment since she's been in the hospital, as she's been too sick with various infections. She's a lot better on that front now, but her healthcare issues are many. She has not yet been approved for Medicaid, so she is not eligible for skilled nursing at this point. Even so, skilled nursing options are limited if she does not commit to moving in to a facility permanently. My mom is only sixty, so she's not truly elderly. However, she is obese, which compounds the difficulties in caring for her. She does not want to go into a nursing home. A crystal ball would be really helpful right now, if anyone has a working one to spare.

 

PS - Thanks for the typing rec. I don't think I've seen this one yet.

 

Has she been diagnosed with cancer by a licensed physician? If so, did the Dr. say your mom's cancer was terminal? If your mom has cancer it changes things with regard to having Medicare/Medicaid pay for things. Ditto if the cancer is terminal. Hospice, at home or otherwise, is paid for differently than regular in-home care. You really need to talk with her Dr. about her prognosis and likely treatments. You should also talk with the social worker at the hospital she was at about services that may be available given her condition. If she has cancer and chemotherapy your daughter will most likely not be able to be in the home with her at all because your mom will be immuno-compromised. She will essentially have no immune system for weeks after each chemo treatment.

[pitterpatter]

It's preliminary stage 4 colon. Her bowl perforated due to a large tumor. She fell into septic shock and then abscesses formed. It's been a waiting game due to the infections. She needs a PET scan to determine final staging and prognosis, but they haven't been able to do that due to overall health and then she's been in long-term acute care facilities that don't have the means and chemo still isn't an option at this point due to continued infection and she's on TPN (intravenous nutrition). She's coming home with TPN, so I will have to administer it each night and unhook it in the mornings. I will also have to perform wound and colostomy care.

 

It's crazy. If you walked into a room with her sitting in a chair at table with regular clothes on, you wouldn't know anything was wrong with her. She looks good. Her metal status is good now (she was delirious for a couple of months). But, she has a lot needs.

 

 

Has she been diagnosed with cancer by a licensed physician? If so, did the Dr. say your mom's cancer was terminal? If your mom has cancer it changes things with regard to having Medicare/Medicaid pay for things. Ditto if the cancer is terminal. Hospice, at home or otherwise, is paid for differently than regular in-home care. You really need to talk with her Dr. about her prognosis and likely treatments. You should also talk with the social worker at the hospital she was at about services that may be available given her condition. If she has cancer and chemotherapy your daughter will most likely not be able to be in the home with her at all because your mom will be immuno-compromised. She will essentially have no immune system for weeks after each chemo treatment.

 

Edited July 8, 2017 by pitterpatter

[Guest]

Have you looked at BJU DVDs or sometihng like k12 as an independent. yes, they are pricy but both have payment plans.

[eagleynne]

It's preliminary stage 4 colon. Her bowl perforated due to a large tumor. She fell into septic shock and then abscesses formed. It's been a waiting game due to the infections. She needs a PET scan to determine final staging and prognosis, but they haven't been able to do that due to overall health and then she's been in long-term acute care facilities that don't have the means and chemo still isn't an option at this point due to continued infection and she's on TPN (intravenous nutrition). She's coming home with TPN, so I will have to administer it each night and unhook it in the mornings. I will also have to perform wound and colostomy care.

 

It's crazy. If you walked into a room with her sitting in a chair at table with regular clothes on, you wouldn't know anything was wrong with her. She looks good. Her metal status is good now (she was delirious for a couple of months). But, she has a lot needs.

 

With what you've said I think she might qualify for some type of home-health services under either Medicare or Medicaid (once she qualifies). I've linked to the Medicare page that describes what they cover. I will note that if anyone suggests that you are able to provide care for her you should tell them that you don't live with her, can't move into her house, and are not able to be at her beck and call. That should shut down anyone official who tries to get you to agree to be her caregiver.

 

Also, in some states there are certain medical conditions that Medicaid provides more coverage for. You should make sure they have it in their files that she has been diagnosed with cancer.

 

Lastly, I hate to say this, but with stage 4 colon cancer, especially cancer that's gone untreated, the prognosis isn't usually good. There is a high chance of metastasis. She will probably suffer from some mental decline, either from the cancer or the chemo. You all really need to get a game plan together for when she can't be left alone and can't do anything for herself. Cancer treatment can go on for years in some cases. You can't and shouldn't allow yourself to put in the position of giving up everything to take care of her.

 

https://www.medicare.gov/coverage/home-health-services.html

 

[Earthmerlin]

I wish I could just say I can't, but right now, I see no other real option. (I have one younger sibling and she is not about to quit her job when I sit around and do nothing all day, every day. That's what people really think, I guess. Everyone with outside-the-house jobs get automatic outs. I'm the perfect answer to everyone else's potential problem. With me as caregiver, everyone else gets to go back to their normal lives. No more running back-and-forth to the hospital for them.) I have filed for Medicaid for her, which has been a full-time job within itself of late since she did have some modest assets. Dealing with Medicare and Medicaid has been an eye-opening experience. Options are very limited. When you get down to it, it's really up to the family to step in and take care of the family member. At this point, she HAS to be at home for a minimum of two months before she can get any additional inpatient help. If I fail to provide adequate care during this time (in-home health is limited to 2-3 days a weeks) and she starts relapsing and dies, all the better for the system. (I'm not even joking, but that's another thread.) She likely has terminal cancer, so things will probably start to go south at some point. She hasn't been eligible for any sort of cancer treatment since she's been in the hospital, as she's been too sick with various infections. She's a lot better on that front now, but her healthcare issues are many. She has not yet been approved for Medicaid, so she is not eligible for skilled nursing at this point. Even so, skilled nursing options are limited if she does not commit to moving in to a facility permanently. My mom is only sixty, so she's not truly elderly. However, she is obese, which compounds the difficulties in caring for her. She does not want to go into a nursing home. A crystal ball would be really helpful right now, if anyone has a working one to spare.

 

PS - Thanks for the typing rec. I don't think I've seen this one yet.

Is it possible to request monetary contributions from family ('partner', sibling, etc.) in lieu of their physical help? If so, then you could perhaps hire a part-time person thereby giving you a few hours off to rest or homeschool.

[BusyMom5]

Hugs, PitterPatter!  My neighbor's mother died unexpectedly one year.  SHe homeschooled her boys and it was months before they could really get back to it.  It was okay.  Your DD is bright and will find something engaging to do!  If it were me, I'd have two things I did with her daily without fail- spelling and math.  I would pick whatever curriclums worked best- Apples and Pears has some grammar in it, too, and the dictations, so I'd stick with that.  If she likes Sinagpore Math- I"d stick with that (or switch to MIF like a PP suggested), but whatever math works best, I"d stick with.  Otherwise I would let her read whatever she wanted all year long, I'd get movies from Netflix or the library, and let her enjoy a year of light-schooling.  My kids really enjoyed Mystery Science last year, so get her signed up with that, but don't worry about having to do the paperwork or experiments, just watch the videos and ask her some questions.  I know this isn't how you would prefer to school, but I think it will be fine!  She is going to be learning a lot about life this year, about the medical community, how families pull together and work together.  Maybe whle you are nursing your mother she might learn some cooking skills.  If she hasn't already, maybe some printable maps to color would be a good alternative to history- do Geography and have her memorize countries. 

 

I also just want to say that I think your family is being awful to you!  It isn't right that they consider you to just be staying home all day long.  I would *really* be trying to make some boundaries in regards to care.  Sister can do it on days off and the weekend.  Your family is just as much of a priority, regardless of what type of work you do! 

 

I will be thinking of you and your family ((HUGS)))

 

(This is Free Thinker @ GF)

[Terabith]

I would talk to the hospital's social worker and ask for their help and advice.  You are not able to be your mother's full time caregiver, and you are under no obligation to move in with her.  You have a family and a job.  The social worker can provide some advice.

[Guest]

Hugs, PitterPatter!  My neighbor's mother died unexpectedly one year.  SHe homeschooled her boys and it was months before they could really get back to it.  It was okay.  Your DD is bright and will find something engaging to do!  If it were me, I'd have two things I did with her daily without fail- spelling and math.  I would pick whatever curriclums worked best- Apples and Pears has some grammar in it, too, and the dictations, so I'd stick with that.  If she likes Sinagpore Math- I"d stick with that (or switch to MIF like a PP suggested), but whatever math works best, I"d stick with.  Otherwise I would let her read whatever she wanted all year long, I'd get movies from Netflix or the library, and let her enjoy a year of light-schooling.  My kids really enjoyed Mystery Science last year, so get her signed up with that, but don't worry about having to do the paperwork or experiments, just watch the videos and ask her some questions.  I know this isn't how you would prefer to school, but I think it will be fine!  She is going to be learning a lot about life this year, about the medical community, how families pull together and work together.  Maybe whle you are nursing your mother she might learn some cooking skills.  If she hasn't already, maybe some printable maps to color would be a good alternative to history- do Geography and have her memorize countries. 

 

I also just want to say that I think your family is being awful to you!  It isn't right that they consider you to just be staying home all day long.  I would *really* be trying to make some boundaries in regards to care.  Sister can do it on days off and the weekend.  Your family is just as much of a priority, regardless of what type of work you do! 

 

I will be thinking of you and your family ((HUGS)))

 

(This is Free Thinker @ GF)

 

Memoria Press has an excellent series for this.