Another, "Help... what would you do?" (dogs)

[BMW]

This is a "what would you do?" time for me.

 

Dh has a dog of several years, Baloo. Nice dog. No problems.

 

When we met, he had just got a 2nd dog, Momos, which is a terrier, hyper, can't be left anywhere in the house, knocks things over. He and one of his boys like this dog. No one else.

 

I had just got a dog at that time, too. It's a dauchsund (sp!!) mix, friendly, obedient, calm, loving, can be left in the house and nothing is out of place. Everyone loves my Frodo.

 

A month ago, Momos (female, not fixed) and Frodo (male, fixed) started fighting. They got pretty bloody. Tore at each other's throats and jaws.

A few days ago, the dogs started to fight and two boys, one after another, decided to try to break up the dog fight. Momos bit both boys. It was witnessed by two other teen daughters. Both boys had to go to Dr. and start antibiotics, one has quite an infected finger from the punctures. At this time I find out that Momos has no shot record. :001_huh: I have Frodo up to date on shots and paid for him to be fixed, by dh had not done any of that for his dog.

 

When this happened dh was out of town. This afternoon dh had got in from out of town, children and I got in from after school pick ups and I had been keeping Frodo inside and using the front yard for potty times and kept Momos in the back yard with Baloo. One of the children forgot about the dogs and opened the back door and Frodo ran out and the dog fight began again.

 

I sent screaming, crying children to their rooms, knowing this was not going to be pretty. Dh came in (after kicking both dogs and getting them separated) and he was holding Frodo and says, "We're getting rid of both dogs. That's it." I said, "No. You can't get rid of our dog."

 

Basically, we argued about it. I feel that Momos is the dog that is fighting and he is the dog that bit the children. 2 out of 11 of us like Momos. Momos doesn't have shots and isn't fixed, etc. Frodo is loved by everyone and isn't any trouble at all. And my children shouldn't have to lose their dog. They have lost their dad and their previous pets.

 

I am a "submit to the husband" type of Christian lady. But I feel very strongly about this. I can't stand the thought of my children losing their dog, who is loving and good. I told dh that I would not let him get rid of our dog. Dh says that if Momos has to go, so does Frodo. We cannot keep Momos. It just isn't going to work out and this drama and fights and crying and screaming can't go on. Neither can the infected dog bites!

 

Dh and I have not had a cross word all year. I hate that we are in a fight over this, but I just feel like I cannot bend on this issue.

 

What do you think? What would you do? It's not like they lose a dog that they have had for years... they have Baloo, who is a nice dog, too. So, why get rid of my dog??

 

What do you do when you love your dh and absolutely disagree and feel that you have just as much say in the matter? What do you do to protect the marriage and move on, but hold your stance?

 

:confused:

 

Bee

[Amy in Orlando]

I'm a Christian lady who isn't an automatic submit to my husband type ... we tend to talk things out. I'm sure dh would prefer that I simply submit, but if there's a good reason in my mind that I shouldn't, I don't. In fact, he'd think something was wrong if I just said "OK" on a big decision (even though I end up agreeing with him at least 60% of the time - when we don't agree, we find a middle ground)

 

To me it sounds like you have a lot more to work on than pets. You've blended two fairly large families yet it's still "ours' and "theirs." I think that sort of thinking spells more trouble than the issue with the dogs. What else is still yours and still theirs? What are you doing to make it all work together? In your situation, I would seek new homes for all three of the dogs and not reintroduce a pet until your new family become a bit more cohesive in their thinking and behavior.

[camibami]

Well, to be honest, you are both punishing the wrong culprit here: the dog. DH didn't fix the dog, didn't keep up on its shots, and now when something bad happens, wants to boot the dog. Your DH is the human here, with all the reasoning of one, and he ought to have known better. An unfixed dog is a trouble dog, period. You can't neglect to do what you ought to to keep your dog happy and healthy and then blame said dog.

 

But the cat is outta the bag now. Dogs fought, dog bit. I have a zero tolerance policy for dogs that bite. He will need to be rehomed, ASAP. Personally, it would have happened the day of the fight, around here, DH home or not. But your DH is to blame for his dog getting rehomed, not the dog.

 

I don't see the point of getting rid of the other dog too, in this situation, if it never bit anyone. If Dh had fixed his dog in the first place, the fight probably wouldn't have happened.

 

It does seem odd to have "his dog/my dog" but I don't know your situation.In our house, all pets are "ours". (Like all money, LOL!)

 

I would try to find a no kill shelter or rescue for the dog- if you want help finding one in your area, pm me. I see no reason to get rid of the other dog, too, and personally it sounds like DH is doing it out of spite. That doesn't bode well.

[BMW]

We do work weekly with a counselor on the blending issues. The thing is, everyone loves Frodo. No one wants to see Frodo go, except dh. It seems that dh is the only one with the "hers" and "mine" attitude regarding the dogs. The children and I are together all the time... they are all my children. I know that I am the only mom for all of them. I think that dh struggles because he is away working and in the meantime, we've all moved on and worked on things... now comes the "if my dog has to go, yours does to... that's fair" and it just doesn't work for me.

 

The other thing is, a few of my bio children are very connected to this dog. I got the dog primarily to help my autistic spectrum son have a bond with a pet. He had recently lost his dad to divorce and "no visitation" because of his dad's abuse issues (per court order). So, there is the issue that Frodo mean's more to one particular child, who "needs" this dog. And then there is the fact that ex-dh took any pet that we had, over 17 years, and either killed it himself (shot a cat who my son was allergic to instead of finding a new home for the cat - and shot it in front of my dd who was 8 at the time) or had it put down (3 dogs... over time... 2 without a good cause and 1 because I had broken my back and couldn't bathe the dog and the children were not bathing it "good enough" and so dh had the dog put down because he didn't want to bathe the dog himself). So, now we are away from ex-dh, with a special pet who everyone loves, and I can't stand the thought of dh taking that away from them... not again...

 

I don't like to go into the "dark" past, but I want you to understand a bit of why I feel so strongly.

 

And, outside of the dog issue with dh, we have all made incredible progress as a blended family. Goodness, it can be disheartening. Statistics are horrible for successful blended families. But I believe that dh is a wonderful man. I know when he bows his head in prayer, he is sincere and he treats me in such an incredibly loving, tender way. He honors me as the wife and mom of this home. I sure hate that this is happening.

[joannqn]

You may not be able to rehome the dog...

 

We had a dog that nipped a neighbor two months ago. We know exactly why she did it. She gets weird when I'm pregnant and starts nipping at and growling at anyone who comes within 30 feet of me. She's fine when I'm not pregnant but a behavorist explained that there's no way to predict that she won't get triggered into this kind of behavior in the future by another pregnant woman or by something unrelated to pregnancy. Well, my neighbor came to give me our mail (we had been out of town) and the dog bit her without any warning. It was only a tiny bit...two small puncture wounds that healed fine.

 

We called the no kill shelter we got her from and their advice was to put her down. They explained why. They cannot take her back because of liability issues. No other shelter I called would take her either for the same reason. They also explained (and I confirmed with other people and online) that if we rehomed her myself, we could still be held liable if she ever bit another person even if her new owner was informed and accepted liability.

 

In the end, we had three choices:

 

1. Keep her and severely restrict her freedom. No more walks, dog parks, or coming camping with us...ever. Kennel her every time we had a guest over or answered the door. Allow her in our backyard only on a leash to avoid even the remote possibility of escape.
   
2. Rehome her and take the risk of being sued if she bit someone while under the care of her new owner.
   
3. Put her down.
   

We chose number three because we can't afford the risk and didn't think a life without freedom would be a good one for her. She was high energy and loved being active. We asked our vet to put her down but he wouldn't do it for a dog that wasn't dying already. She had to go to the humane society where she had to complete a 10 day rabies quarantine (every dog that bites has to be quarantined by law) before being put down.

 

It was so sad. We told the kids she was going to a new home where she would be happier. They have no idea.

[BMW]

Camibami, I totally agree. When I called dh after the boys got bit, I asked where Momos shot records were kept. I had no idea that he hadn't taken care of that. He got the dog from a man from work and he didn't follow through on getting records. :eek: To me, if you are going to be a pet owner, be responsible. I was stunned.

 

The only reason I give a "my dog" "his dog" statement is to explain what is going on here. I think the dogs do represent two families. But now we are one. And one dog is fighting and biting.

 

I think that dh is also afraid to get rid of Momos because one of the boys is attached. This boy has had some emotional struggles since his mom died of cancer and has loved Momos. But, I spend each day with this boy and today, he accepted that Momos' behavior is not acceptable and he immediately started a new bond with Frodo. I absolutely know he will be fine. But, dh hasn't seen that, being out of town. And I think he is worried.

 

Thanks for talking with me about it.

[Mom0012]

In the circumstances you describe, I wouldn't let my children lose their dog. I would insist on the biter being gone though. I would encourage your husband to look at the fact that he will still have a dog that is "his" - Baloo.

 

I would also talk to him about the things you have shared here about your history with pets and what your children's feelings are about Frodo. I might wait at least a few days and maybe a week to have this discussion and let emotions cool before getting into it. If you feel confident in the counselor you are working with, that might be a good time to discuss this because it seems that you are being reasonable.

 

Lisa

[Carrie12345]

I don't have any real advice, though I do side with the Momos monster going!

 

I did want to say that the actual biting should not be considered the dog's fault. First rule of doggy fight club- humans don't get involved in doggy fights.

I know it's hard to resist trying to break one up, and a dog fight certainly is a sign that the family/pet dynamic needs to change, but any dog in a rage, attacking or defending themselves against another animal, can not be expected to take care to avoid human body parts in the middle of a fight.

[Karen sn]

Basically - I know that I am way more educated about most issues. My logic and reasoning trump his.

And so I just VERY CALMLY explain to him in a way that DOES NOT AT ALL come across as bossy why my way is best. The secret is to appear as if you are giving him all power to make the decision but you hope he will consider a, b, c,.....etc.

 

Also, throwing out questions works wonders. "Don't you think that blah blah blah...?" Or "Well I just wonder if blah blah blah."

 

One thing I know is that men HATE to be bossed around and told what to do.

 

I had a friend once who actually brought up her idea and discussed it with dh. Then he threw in some of his own thoughst on the matter and they discussed it a while. Later she says to him, "You know I really like that idea of yours to blah blah blah...."

 

She got what she wanted and the whole time it was her original idea but she gave him the credit for it and he never felt bossed around.

 

Now I know there are a few people reading this who will say we need to submit wholly and completely and whatever - and how doing things this way is deceptive....I don't care and you don't need to tell me how awful I am because I will never be submissive and don't care to let another's wrong opinion over rule my informed logic. I am like a wolf or a bear with my cubs and that is that. I know what my kids need and no one gets to ruin them but me.

[Danestress]

Its seems totally obvious that you are right and he is wrong. But I am thinking that there must be a reason he is insisting on what he's insisting on. Surely he's not a jerk and he's not mean spirited and he's not petty, and its seems based on your prior posts that he cares about your kids as well as his own. So there must be a reason he is being stubborn about this.

 

Try to articulate what his very best argument would be in favor of doing what he is wanting to do.

[Karen sn]

We do work weekly with a counselor on the blending issues. The thing is, everyone loves Frodo. No one wants to see Frodo go, except dh. It seems that dh is the only one with the "hers" and "mine" attitude regarding the dogs. The children and I are together all the time... they are all my children. I know that I am the only mom for all of them. I think that dh struggles because he is away working and in the meantime, we've all moved on and worked on things... now comes the "if my dog has to go, yours does to... that's fair" and it just doesn't work for me.

 

The other thing is, a few of my bio children are very connected to this dog. I got the dog primarily to help my autistic spectrum son have a bond with a pet. He had recently lost his dad to divorce and "no visitation" because of his dad's abuse issues (per court order). So, there is the issue that Frodo mean's more to one particular child, who "needs" this dog. And then there is the fact that ex-dh took any pet that we had, over 17 years, and either killed it himself (shot a cat who my son was allergic to instead of finding a new home for the cat - and shot it in front of my dd who was 8 at the time) or had it put down (3 dogs... over time... 2 without a good cause and 1 because I had broken my back and couldn't bathe the dog and the children were not bathing it "good enough" and so dh had the dog put down because he didn't want to bathe the dog himself). So, now we are away from ex-dh, with a special pet who everyone loves, and I can't stand the thought of dh taking that away from them... not again...

 

I don't like to go into the "dark" past, but I want you to understand a bit of why I feel so strongly.

 

And, outside of the dog issue with dh, we have all made incredible progress as a blended family. Goodness, it can be disheartening. Statistics are horrible for successful blended families. But I believe that dh is a wonderful man. I know when he bows his head in prayer, he is sincere and he treats me in such an incredibly loving, tender way. He honors me as the wife and mom of this home. I sure hate that this is happening.

 

Given this information - hell would freeze over before I let anything happen to the good dog. You might want to ask "new dad" if he wants to look like "old dad."

 

And I just hate little yappy mean small complex insecure dogs.

No reason at all that every one else should have to suffer for the one psycho dog that the guy at work got rid of for probably the very same reason.

[Remudamom]

Given your son's attachment to Frodo no way would I let him go. And why isn't the biter in quarantine? He could have rabies for all you know.

 

I'd be real tempted to start calling your dh by your ex's name. Sounds like an honest mistake to me.

[mommy2be]

This thread kind of breaks my heart!

 

I believe that pets are a part of the family, not objects or toys. If a child bit another child you wouldn't be thinking of which one to get rid of... I know it's kind of an extreme example, but still...

 

Please don't think that just because Momos bit someone that he needs a new home. IMO, neither dog needs to go anywhere... Momos needs to be fixed, and needs to know who's boss. I know the boys were trying to break up the fight, but that's asking to get bit. When a dog is already fighting they're not thinking about what they're doing, they're only reacting. I would suggest getting Momos fixed ASAP, this will help with a lot of behavioral issues. Then, start doing some research. This is going to sound cheesy, but I would recommend checking out some of Cesar Milan's books, or watch his show, The Dog Whisperer, on The National Geographic Channel. One thing, is that if he is a terrier, and you already said he is high strung, he needs to be exercised. This is a good oppurtunity for the children to learn responsibility, have them take Momos on walks. The more Momos is exerciesed the less energy he will have to fight of be destructive. A hyper dog is kind of like a hyper child, if they have pent up energy they're looking for some way to let it out, and it might not always be the most constructive!

 

You said that your son is very attached to your Frodo. You also said that your DH and one other child are attached to Momos, just because less people like Momos, that doesn't mean that their attachment means less. It may hurt this child just as much if you got rid of Momos as it would hurt your son to get rid of Frodo.

 

I am an animal lover obviously. I don't value animals over people, and would be pissed if a dog bit my child, but that doesn't mean you just toss it out. You can fix the problem, or at least say you tried, before getting rid of dogs... Imagine how many animals get put to sleep each year just because thier owners didn't want to deal with them... you chose to be pet owners, now own up to it.

 

Don't mean to sound harsh, but it just breaks my heart...

[Parrothead]

If it were me, I'd be busy telling dh that he has to take care of his dog. The dog would go into a crate, only to be taken care of by dh because it is his dog. It is time for dh to take a little responsibility for his dog. If when dh decided that it was time for his dog to go, then he would have to take his dog to the appropriate shelter.

 

In other words, if dh is insisting that it is a his/hers situation then he would have to hold up his end. In this case the dog is his responsibility 100%.

[ma23peas]

1. I would make sure both dogs are fixed..spayed/neutered (that can cut down on their aggression)

 

2. I would wait 2 months and start dog obedience courses (you can do this with 4H or ask for help from a local dog trainer)

 

3. We have a set rule that if a dog ever bites a child, then it's GONE...however, the children went in to break up a fight, you NEVER do that..you can spray the animals with a water bottle or a water hose but never get your hands in between two animals..so I don't believe these animals aggressively attacked your children.

 

I see a family that loves to have animals but hasn't been committed to giving these animals their fair shot....it's a great lesson in responsibility and having the kids help train them will help them in much more than just pet ownership.

 

Tara

[Melinda TX]

From a logistical dog standpoint, my vet has told me that once the fighting begins between two dogs, especially to the point where blood is drawn, the dogs will never get along. The only solution is to remove one. A friend went through this with their two dogs, and while sad rehoming one, it was the best thing for the family AND the dogs.

 

There is no comparison between a biting/aggressive dog and a child who bites.

[Remudamom]

We've got a dog that's bitten four of us...........when we've been on the four wheeler. Hank is one of those obsessive border collies, in his case he loses it when we start up the four wheeler. He starts barking/whining/snapping at the wheels and only one thing will stop him until he's gone through a little routine. He's gotten us all on our calves while attacking the wheels.

 

No one wanted to get rid of Hank, aside from his wheel obsession he's a love, so we do a lot of preventative stuff. When someone comes over, Hank has to be up until the car stops moving. When we go out on the ATVs, we either put him up, watch ourselves until he calms down, or show him a bb gun.

 

Some dogs need more management than others, and I hear terriers are real horrors sometimes.

[mommy2be]

From a logistical dog standpoint, my vet has told me that once the fighting begins between two dogs, especially to the point where blood is drawn, the dogs will never get along. The only solution is to remove one. A friend went through this with their two dogs, and while sad rehoming one, it was the best thing for the family AND the dogs.

 

There is no comparison between a biting/aggressive dog and a child who bites.

 

between a child and a dog who bites, I only mean that to me a dog is a part of the family, not equal to a child, but still a part of the family and you don't just ditch a pet when a problem arises.

 

I would have to disagree with your vet about two dogs never being able to get along. I've seen it time and time again, animals do not have the same logic as humans or the same thought process. They don't hold grudges or have bad thoughts about other dogs. We can't apply our logic to dogs... It's not like "Oh, Frodo looked at me the wrong way..." All they know or need to know is who is in charge, if they don't know then they will try to be. If your dog knows you are in charge then there will be no question, therefore no power struggles.

 

The saying 'you can't teach old dogs new tricks' is absolutely incorrect.

 

Dogs especially are pack animals, if they're not being told what to do then they don't know what to do. A bored dog without direction who has energy is just a ticking time bomb. The leader of a dog pack is always telling the pack what to do, and the pack knows what is expected. If this isn't the case with Momos, then Momos is not to blame IMO... Again, I am not trying to be harsh, but it just breaks my heart that people think the only solution to any problem with an animal is to ditch it... :sad:

 

Again, I can't stress enough... please get Momos fixed, and do research. This will be an awesome learning experience for the entire family. You will probably pick up a few life lessons that your children will always remember.

 

It can be very traumatic for a child to lose a pet, believe me, I know personally!

[tibbyl]

Be aware that fixing a dog will not necessarily stop physical aggression toward other dogs or toward humans.

 

Consult with a trainer to determine likelihood of rehabilitating the biter. However, the whole family would have to commit to the endeavor.

 

If your entire family is not on board with this, have the dog euthanized, preferably at a vet's office where the stress level would be lower than at a pound.

 

I would advise against taking the biting animal to a no kill shelter or attempting to place with rescue. It is very unlikely that a reputable rescue or no kill shelter is going to accept a dog that has repeatedly injured children.

 

It is unwise to rehome a biting dog since you can reasonably assume that dog's biting behavior will continue. Ultimately the dog will bite and injure another beast or human yet again.

 

Take care of euthanizing the biting dog yourself instead of passing off the unpleasant task to a shelter, pound, or rescue.

 

I am not familiar with christian wifely submission requirements so I can't comment on that aspect of your dilemma.

[Paula in MS]

I completely agree with Tara. Take the dog to get fixed and shots and see if the behaviour improves. Most dogs will bite you if you stick a hand between to break up a fight. The dog probably did not even realize that a person was involved. This incident does not mean that the dog is aggressive toward humans.

 

Paula

[Anne]

I agree with the others about fixing the dog and finding some training help.

 

This also may help diffuse the whole "me" vs. "them" issue. If you can move with your dh towards a solution that will be a win-win situation, he will hopefully be much more willing to find a solution that is in everyone's best interest.

 

Anne

[2cents]

A couple of things come to mind when I read this. It sounds like blame is being put on the dog or dogs when really it is the human owner who has the power to control the behavior, medical issues and what is acceptable interactions with the other pets. It was irresponsible to have the dog unvaccinated and that is the fault of both parents. The dog should not have been around your children or any other person if there was any question of the shot record. Unfortunately, not knowing is no excuse either. If the animals were fighting and you knew that they were not getting along then something should have been done right away in terms of re-training etc. AND the children should have been advised NOT to interfere if the dogs were fighting. That is an adult situation and very dangerous. IMO the first step to resolving this problem is to recognize that both parents are equally to blame and getting rid of the dogs will only communicate to the children that animals are expendable and can be used in power struggles between parents. Think about what you really want to accomplish here. Finding a suitable home for one of the dogs (after you vet it) may be a good solution if you have exhausted the possibility of re-training. It would send a better message to the children.

[teamturner]

I like some of the ideas that you've already received about dealing with the dogs, i.e. getting him fixed, training etc.

 

However, I do encourage you to calmly discuss with your dh the complex issue of how your dc have been through such sorrow relating to their pets in the past. If you can make your dh understand how truly devastating this will be to your kids and the painful memories that will be dredged up I think he would relent from his current view of the situation. I would also humbly suggest to him to pray about it while you both see about getting help for Momo. At least give the dog a chance and then reevaluate. Hopefully, your dh in the mean time will cool down and reconsider the damage this may have all the entire family and the bonds you are trying to creat.

 

Blessings,

[hornblower]

As a long term foster for a dog rescue, I'll wade in with some comments:

 

-few rescues have the time/energy/money to deal with a true biter & rehoming biters is difficult for the liability reasons already mentioned.

 

-hwvr, in this case, I'm hesitant to say this dog is a biter. Someone getting bit while intervening in a dog fight is a totally different thing than being bit while sitting on a couch/entering a yard/playing with a toy..... These are all different issues.

 

-the dog needs to be assessed by a professional trainer, experienced in assessing this type of bhvr. You can start here: http://www.apdt.com/po/ts/default.aspx

 

-otherwise, I would look up some local rescues that specialize in terriers or other small dogs. Also see if there's a local flyball or agility club - a high energy/high drive terrier can be a wonderful canine sport dog.

 

-I grew up with a fox terrier & was bit a number of times. She wasn't an aggressive dog - she had some impulse control issues which needed working on.

 

-I do not have a zero tolerance policy on dog bites. Dogs sometimes bite. Horses sometimes kick & throw you & I've known one that loved to bite me on the hip when I was picking its hoof. Cats sometimes scratch. Life with animals is sometimes like that.

 

I am NOT talking about dogs who are clearly unsafe, and who, I think, fundamentally have a mental problem. I mean regular, good dogs, who sometimes make the bad decision to communicate with their teeth.

 

The truth everyone needs to accept is that EVERY dog can bite in certain circumstances. If a dog is in pain, cornered, terrified; push them hard enough.... they can bite. There is a HUGE difference between a dog attack & a dog bite and that's why a skilled assessment is necessary to determine what is going on.

 

All that being said.....you have a pack of dogs. Anytime it's more than 2, it's a pack. You'll get pack behaviours happening, and you need to know how to "read" dogs, and how to handle them.

 

The only solutions to this problem in your family involve a combination of time & money. Time to train, to learn, to read books, to be involved in the dogs' lives. You can't just let them 'hang out'. If you let them hang out, they'll make their own rules, & one of those rules might involve trying to fight with each other at every step. If you cannot afford the time or the money to look after these pets properly, I would be looking at rehoming at least Momo & maybe the rest too, in all honesty.

 

It's not about liking them or being bonded to them. It's about giving them the mental/physical/emotional stimulation they deserve to live out a full life. I personally think dogs need as much input from their caretakers as a 4 yo. human child. They can amuse themselves for quite a bit at that age but they really need our guidance & our involvement for them to thrive.

 

And because I have a soft spot for terriers, I'll just mention that anyone who wants to know what terriers can be like, should check out Jerome K Jerome's Three Men in a Boat. Montmorency is a wonderful terrier. And he starts fights wherever he goes. But nobody is particularly concerned by this :001_smile: If anything, his obnoxious terrierness is celebrated.

 

 

If you want to start reading & learning about training your animals, I'd start here http://www.patriciamcconnell.com/ Her booklet Feeling Outnumbered would be particularly good for you, but I freely recommend everthing she's written.

[BMW]

Okay, time for me to chime in here again. :)

 

I am glad to see a spectrum of responses, it gives me plenty to think about.

 

FWIW, we have been married 2 months. When you move 8 people in, you work through lots of other issues other than, "By the way, where are your vet files?" I assumed he had them. My bad. But when any of us, myself included, jump to shame and blame, we lose our audience (for the most part). This isn't about blame. It's about what to do now. Take responsibility - yes!! No one is avoiding that at this time. There are huge lessons for all of us in that and we are sure to be working through them.

 

And the children were repeatedly told not to get involved in the dog fight. But children are impulsive. I was in the front yard, they were in the back yard. I got in when I heard the commotion. It happened. But, they had definately been told. The dogs had been getting along quite well, then something turned. We could make guesses all day...

 

So, for now, Momos is in the back yard (a very, very large yard) with Baloo and Frodo stays in and uses the front yard. When the children are all home, I will take full responsibility for keeping Frodo safe. Lesson learned. In the meantime... Dh has to cool off and we have to be able to talk through this and work as a couple and set the best example for the children. That is where all of your input has been wonderful.

 

With 9 children we are constantly on the go. That said, there are usually several people home at any time, too. Frodo and Baloo have very relaxed personalities and are best dog buddies. They are so cute! They wake up each day and explore the back yard like it was the first time they've seen it! Both are fixed, etc. It makes sense to me to keep them, not just "get rid of the dogs". In the heat of arguing, I took a stand and I am going to stick with it. But, I do need to calmly explain where we are coming from.

 

I am definately leaning to rehoming Momos because with our family dynamics, it is not a good fit. People make spur of the moment decisions getting animals. Dh got him after his wife had died and then their dog had died (natural death after long life). He didn't know we'd get married and that I'd have a little dog. Anyway, I am the one home day after day. He works and travels and I hold down the fort. I have children to raise and 2 wonderfully easy going dogs that work well here... I am not about to take on training a terrier. Not because I don't care about that breed, but simply because there is no time in my life for that. But I do have the time to take dogs for their shots and keep them licensed and fed and bathed and played with. No time for dog drama, though. That may be hard for someone to understand, but it is the best choice for our life. That doesn't mean I am irresponsible and it doesn't mean we don't deserve our happy, well-behaved dogs.

 

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