Attacks on FB

[Janeway]

Years ago, I joined a "birth club" at a website that had forums and you could join based on month you were due. This would have been 8 years ago. Somebody on the group made a FB page and poached people from the birth club to the FB page. The birth club went dead as everyone went to the FB page. I ended up joining the FB page. 

 

Problem is, the people on the FB page are not decent people. The decent people stay quiet, so there are decent people, just not the active ones. Of the active ones, their posts wreak of people that I doubt any of us would be friends with. Or if we would be, we would not admit it. A lot of marital affairs committed by the members. A lot of divorces. Pretty much all but a couple of the active members have been divorced during this time, usually because of infidelity. A few of them consider themselves "polyamorous" with a few of them considering themselves "swingers." One keeps posting pictures of her daughters dressed like street walkers and then being angry and indignant when the public schools sends her daughter home. And then when her daughter got caught with drugs on school property, was angry at the school, not the daughter. And another daughter dropped out of school and has had 2 babies by two different boys. You get the idea. AND, the loud ones are not very bright. 

 

I never talk politics on my page. You just do not talk money, politics, or religion openly like that. I have a variety of friends and relatives, on my page, so even if I might talk politics to a like minded person, I would not do it in front of many of my diverse friends and relatives. 

 

Years ago, during the election with Romney, I was a Romney supporter. Heck, I still like him now. But I never posted about it at all. Then, about a week before the election, I posted a Romney button. So someone from that page saw it and went back to the page and told everyone that I was posting racist things on my page. I never did that! When no one could find them and there were no screen shots of these posts, the person claimed I must have taken them down. But in the meantime, some of them started attacking me and all I could respond with was that I never posted that stuff. Some put me on block and there was a hostile environment after that. Things simmered down, but then the elections of 2016 came around. So the attacks started again. I never supported either candidate. I was in the "we are screwed 2016" camp. I did make some political posts during this time, but it was about both Clinton and Trump. I couldn't stand either one. However, the trouble maker started in on the group that I was mentally ill and posted "proof that Trump supporters are mentally ill" articles and referenced me. I was not even a Trump supporter. And this poster never posts facts about anything. On the occasion she posts an article, it is from some extremist fake news site. I rarely ever post any article, but when I do, it is from a variety of sources, but my favorite is Wall Street Journal (which is difficult because many articles cannot be seen without a subscription). I purposefully avoid posting anything from Foxnews because I know some people have an aversion. I do read Foxnews, but I always read from a variety of sites which  includes BBC, Economist, CNN, and even..yeah..the fluff yahoo. WSJ remains my fave though. BUT, this poster is constantly saying "yeah, LOL, figures that you are a foxnews reader, LOL, I get it, LOL" just like that!!

 

Finally, yesterday, someone posts on her own page, as in a friend of mine,  something from a fringe site known for fake news about Germans hating Trump, just like all sane Americans, and so on. It went on and on about the mentally ill who support Trump and how even the Germans see that. I posted back on that say that I do not care if the Germans like our president, the only people that our president needs to be liked by is the Americans. And then I said how that website is known for being unreliable and extremist, and I posted a link from the factchecker site to show that it is known for not having many facts. And then I posted an article from the Economist, which is considered a reliable site, on what happened in Germany. In comes one of the people from that FB group. I do not have that member on my FB page, but apparently, she is "friends" with the person on my page. And she just lays in to me attacking, and of course, putting LOL every other word. She has no facts at all. And she just keeps repeating can't take a mentally ill Trump supporter seriously, LOL, You get all your news from Foxnews, LOL.  I have stopped trying to remind her that I was never a Trump supporter. and she goes on with  her bullying saying " LOL no one likes you, lol because you are mentally ill, LOL, you read foxnews, LOL, everyone who supports Trump LOL is mentally ill LOL. "

 

To top it off, this friend is a friend that I ended up knowing in real life, but sort of through the grapevine. She coordinates foreign exchange students and I have matched her up with some families through the years so we have sort of gotten to know each other. 

 

Then I go back to that birth club FB page and she is posting about how I suddenly started posting <insert cuss word> about Germans and how no one likes me, etc etc. Just completely gas lighting. 

 

Sadly, I only stay on that page because I don't want to cower away. I did put that woman on block at this point. But she actually went and got people to come back and post against me on that friends page and tag me in the posts, people who are not my own friends. I have been called racist for posting things about Germans and how each of them has a friend who is German, etc. I only posted a response to an article about Germans and the Trump visit. So this person is completely gas lighting. Prior to this woman putting me on block, I told her I had no interest in arguing with her because she is not even arguing about anything, she is just throwing out insults. She continued her insults so I did throw an insult and told her it seems she cannot even write a complete sentence with all the LOLs she keeps throwing in. She says that is because she is laughing at me because I am such a joke. And continues to throw insults. That is when I just put her on block. Her next step was to go to others to get them to post to this friends page and continue to tag me in posts. Only one of her friends has done that.

 

I am so frustrated! I know this is all silly and I should just remove the whole group. These are just scummy people that I would never otherwise associate with. 

 

edited to clarify: I am not being attacked on the group. I am being attacked when we have mutual friends and I comment on a friend's post. That is what happened here. I do not even go back and look at the group. Although I did today. So what I need to do is remove the group, AND all friends that are mutual. Except that I have not had problems with the mutual friends, other than her and some of the others from the group using the mutual friends thing to attack.

Edited May 28, 2017 by Janeway

[CinV]

Just leave the fb group already. Why stay on a group you don't like,that doesn't share the same values, and is a place you're feeling attacked?

[Janeway]

Just leave the fb group already. Why stay on a group you don't like,that doesn't share the same values, and is a place you're feeling attacked?

I am not being attacked on the group. I am being attacked when we have mutual friends and I comment on a friend's post. That is what happened here. I do not even go back and look at the group. Although I did today. So what I need to do is remove the group, AND all friends that are mutual. Except that I have not had problems with the mutual friends, other than her and some of the others from the group using the mutual friends thing to attack.

Edited May 28, 2017 by Janeway

[BigMamaBird]

Yeah, don't think of it as cowering away.  Think of it as striding confidently away from a bunch of @#$*()@# with your head held high.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Cowering away?  Life is too short to wonder if a bunch of people who you don't like anyway like you or feel you've slunk away or any other thing.  

 

Seriously, leave the group.  At this point, you are responsible for your own unhappiness over this.  If you stay to be tormented when you are free to walk away... what on Earth do you think you are gaining?  

[regentrude]

You have several options.

Leave the group.

Block annoying people.

Set your privacy settings.

Don't engage in discussion with people like that.

[Laurie4b]

 It is an act of healthy boundary setting, not "cowering" to leave an abusive, toxic environment.  

 

 Back when you posted the Romney button, people weren't crazy about political issues. Now, sadly, there will be no sane discussions on FB. Just take part as lesson learned. 

[regentrude]

I am not being attacked on the group. I am being attacked when we have mutual friends and I comment on a friend's post. That is what happened here. I do not even go back and look at the group. Although I did today. So what I need to do is remove the group, AND all friends that are mutual. Except that I have not had problems with the mutual friends, other than her and some of the others from the group using the mutual friends thing to attack.

 

So why don't you just block these people so they won't see what you post and won't be able to comment on it?

[Laurie4b]

So why don't you just block these people so they won't see what you post and won't be able to comment on it?

 

Once you have commented on someone's post, other people who are friends of that person's can comment back to you. It sounded to be as if this is at least part of what is happening. You can't block those people if you aren't friends. 

[regentrude]

Once you have commented on someone's post, other people who are friends of that person's can comment back to you. It sounded to be as if this is at least part of what is happening. You can't block those people if you aren't friends. 

 

Nope, not true -  you can block people with whom you are not friends.

And when you have blocked a person,  they should not see anything you post, not even if it is a comment on somebody else's page. 

Edited May 28, 2017 by regentrude

[Guest]

People post fake news site on FB all the time. Either 100% ignore those posts or learn to deal with this kind of issue. My FB friends have ZERO inkling what my political opinions are and FB is a wonderful place for me.

[Mergath]

Problem is, the people on the FB page are not decent people. The decent people stay quiet, so there are decent people, just not the active ones. Of the active ones, their posts wreak of people that I doubt any of us would be friends with. Or if we would be, we would not admit it. A lot of marital affairs committed by the members. A lot of divorces. Pretty much all but a couple of the active members have been divorced during this time, usually because of infidelity. A few of them consider themselves "polyamorous" with a few of them considering themselves "swingers." One keeps posting pictures of her daughters dressed like street walkers and then being angry and indignant when the public schools sends her daughter home. And then when her daughter got caught with drugs on school property, was angry at the school, not the daughter. And another daughter dropped out of school and has had 2 babies by two different boys. You get the idea. AND, the loud ones are not very bright. 

This paragraph, right here, is your problem. They aren't decent people because some of them have gotten divorced or are polyamorous? If you're half as judgemental and angry in this FB group as you are here (and based on this snippet, I'm going to assume that's the case) you've probably pissed more than a few of them off and that's part of the reason they're picking fights over politics.

 

Just block them and be done with it already.

 

[Lady Florida.]

 

edited to clarify: I am not being attacked on the group. I am being attacked when we have mutual friends and I comment on a friend's post. That is what happened here. I do not even go back and look at the group. Although I did today. So what I need to do is remove the group, AND all friends that are mutual. Except that I have not had problems with the mutual friends, other than her and some of the others from the group using the mutual friends thing to attack.

 

Leave the group. Block the above person or persons. When you block someone they don't even see your comments on a mutual friend's page. You won't exist to her. Problem solved.

[Janeway]

This paragraph, right here, is your problem. They aren't decent people because some of them have gotten divorced or are polyamorous? If you're half as judgemental and angry in this FB group as you are here (and based on this snippet, I'm going to assume that's the case) you've probably pissed more than a few of them off and that's part of the reason they're picking fights over politics.

 

Just block them and be done with it already.

 

No, I have never said anything to them about anything. I was referencing the endless talking about the cheating, which happens to lead to divorce. And I never say anything to any of them about it. For example, this morning, one of them posted about how she is on some sort of fling website. She told her husband last night she was going out with friends. Then she met up with this guy and had hours of sex, but she worded it with much more descriptive words. Came home drunk and laughed that her husband was too stupid to figure it out. It is that sort of thing.

[regentrude]

No, I have never said anything to them about anything. I was referencing the endless talking about the cheating, which happens to lead to divorce. And I never say anything to any of them about it. For example, this morning, one of them posted about how she is on some sort of fling website. She told her husband last night she was going out with friends. Then she met up with this guy and had hours of sex, but she worded it with much more descriptive words. Came home drunk and laughed that her husband was too stupid to figure it out. It is that sort of thing.

 

and you want to remain part of this group because....?

[Janeway]

I ended up deleting the group and also deleting almost everyone who was a mutual friend.

[Janeway]

Oh and one more thing, that woman went on posting that I said a bunch of stuff I never said. AND, in response to a post that mentioned the Holocaust (not made by me, just on a friend's page), she claimed that Germans never did anything wrong. I am unsure if she means it was ok for the holocaust to have happened or if she is claiming that the holocaust never happened, but regardless, it is just disgusting. I am so just..fed up. I should have left that group years ago. 

 

I left two friends that she is mutual friends with, but those are two people I thought I cared about, and unfortunately, I had to take her off block to make sure I was not mutual friends with anyone else. And FB won't let me block again for 48 hrs.

 

Edited May 28, 2017 by Janeway

[Rebel Yell]

I ended up deleting the group and also deleting almost everyone who was a mutual friend.

Don't just delete the people or unfriend them, but actually block them. By blocking them, they will not see anything you post anywhere on Facebook, they cannot tag you or private message you. You will not see anything they like or comment in, even if it is on a mutual friends post/page.

 

You don't have to be friends with them to block them, and if you are friends with anyone that you block it will automatically unfriend them, too.

 

Blocking is a beautiful thing!

Edited May 28, 2017 by Rebel Yell

[Janeway]

and you want to remain part of this group because....?

 

 

It is really dumb why I had stayed. Every time someone left the group through the years, the people left on the group would trash on them. So, I stayed, not wanting to be trashed on. Which is so dumb, as I have endured this all these years. It is sort of a "need to just rip that bandaid off" sort of situation. I stay and every so often, she attacks me through a mutual friend. I go and she has a hayday attacking me. I know, I have been irrational to stay. But I have left now.

[PrincessMommy]

It is really dumb why I had stayed. Every time someone left the group through the years, the people left on the group would trash on them. So, I stayed, not wanting to be trashed on. Which is so dumb, as I have endured this all these years. It is sort of a "need to just rip that bandaid off" sort of situation. I stay and every so often, she attacks me through a mutual friend. I go and she has a hayday attacking me. I know, I have been irrational to stay. But I have left now.

 

wow, they do sound like awful people. 

 

Glad you blocked them all

[regentrude]

It is really dumb why I had stayed. Every time someone left the group through the years, the people left on the group would trash on them. So, I stayed, not wanting to be trashed on. Which is so dumb, as I have endured this all these years. It is sort of a "need to just rip that bandaid off" sort of situation. I stay and every so often, she attacks me through a mutual friend. I go and she has a hayday attacking me. I know, I have been irrational to stay. But I have left now.

 

??? How would anybody even know that somebody has actually left the group?

You could simply have unfollowed the group long ago, while still remaining a member. Nobody would have known.

[tdbates78]

This is why I steer clear of many FB topics. I don't talk or comment on anything political or controversial, ever. My fb is mainly to share pictures of my kids, since most of my family lives out of state. Life is too short to get worked up over fb drama that some people like to start (I know several myself), and I swear these people seek it out. Doesn't sound like you are missing out on anything by leaving the group.

Edited May 28, 2017 by tdbates78

[Janeway]

??? How would anybody even know that somebody has actually left the group?

You could simply have unfollowed the group long ago, while still remaining a member. Nobody would have known.

I did unfollow years ago. But this person kept tagging me.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I'm not going to agree that everybody sucks, since we don't even know them, but it's a childhood level skill not to voluntarily spend time with people whom you don't even like. It's a slightly more mature skill to choose not to care when people don't like you!

 

I'm glad you've left the group.

[Guest]

Good grief. Life is too short. Shake the dust off your boots and move on.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I did unfollow years ago. But this person kept tagging me.

 

When you block people on FB, they can't tag you.

[Janeway]

When you block people on FB, they can't tag you.

I only put her on block today, or last night. 

[Laurie4b]

Nope, not true -  you can block people with whom you are not friends.

And when you have blocked a person,  they should not see anything you post, not even if it is a comment on somebody else's page. 

 

 

Good to know---but you can only block them after they've posted and tagged you, right? I've seen posts where numerous friends of the poster attacked someone of a different opinion. 

[Janeway]

Wait..to clarify..she did this years ago, and I was baffled and did nothing. She started this up again a few months ago, I put took her to unfollow. Then, she kept going, so I unfriended her. Then she started the tagging bit after I unfriended her. So I put her on block. So then she went to mutual friends started "outing" me to them as saying things I never said. I had to take her off block to see her friends list so I could me sure I unfriended every mutual friend. Now I cannot put her back on block for 48 hrs.

[SporkUK]

Good to know---but you can only block them after they've posted and tagged you, right? I've seen posts where numerous friends of the poster attacked someone of a different opinion. 

 

No, you can block anyone even prior to any contact - you can even block people's emails without knowing if they have a facebook account. 

 

 

Janeway - I agree with the others that getting block-happy may help, just block as much as possible and tighten your privacies up as much as possible. As for the lies and fake news, well, people will either know you and what you do in good faith or not. You can't do anything about that. I've been trashed in a few places for not toeing the line and the people who matter always see through it. 

 

Though I have to agree with Mergath that in your original post that you come across as very judgmental & gossipy and while you think you haven't said anything -- those kind of thoughts have a way of bleeding through. You could have just said they aren't the kind of people you'd usual be in a group or friends with and left it at that but instead listed thing and thing you feel is wrong with them. I take this as venting from what is a hard situation for you but...I'm polyamorous and I'd like to think I'm a pretty decent person. My brother is divorced, as is my mother in law and late step-father-in-law, and they're pretty decent. Now none of us may be the kind of people you'd like to be friends with or in a birth group with, but...maybe reflect on why you seem to have stewed over all this for so long and seemed to have kinda enjoyed listing it out like that for this group.  

Edited May 28, 2017 by SporkUK

[catz]

Block and unfriend without question.  Life is way too short for online drama. 

[StephanieZ]

1. Go to the group. Search for your name, and delete every post you've ever made.

 

2. Once you've deleted all your posts, block any of the individuals who are hateful towards you. 

 

3. "Leave" the group. 

 

4. Carry on. Life will be more pleasant. The hateful people will soon forget you and pick fights with others. 

 

5. Choose your battles more wisely in the future. Crazy or hateful people are not worth your time. 

[Janeway]

1. Go to the group. Search for your name, and delete every post you've ever made.

 

2. Once you've deleted all your posts, block any of the individuals who are hateful towards you.

 

3. "Leave" the group.

 

4. Carry on. Life will be more pleasant. The hateful people will soon forget you and pick fights with others.

 

5. Choose your battles more wisely in the future. Crazy or hateful people are not worth your time.

Funny thing is that I did delete everything I could find.

[Rebel Yell]

Good to know---but you can only block them after they've posted and tagged you, right? I've seen posts where numerous friends of the poster attacked someone of a different opinion.

 

 

 

Not true.. you can block anyone at any time, even if you have never had any interaction with them whatsoever. I have even blocked people because what they post/like/comment on via a mutual friend or group shows up in my newsfeed too often, even if it isn't harmful or controversial, just personally annoying.

 

blocking is my friend.

[SKL]

Click on a post posted by that lunatic, and set it so you don't see any more posts by that person.

 

If the fb page has a sour tone, only visit occasionally when you are in a mood to put up with it.

 

If that person called you a cuss word or similar on the fb group, report him/her.  Report every time.  That is not OK.

[regentrude]

I did unfollow years ago. But this person kept tagging me.

 

Because you allowed her to tag you. You can select who is permitted to tag you.

[regentrude]

Good to know---but you can only block them after they've posted and tagged you, right? I've seen posts where numerous friends of the poster attacked someone of a different opinion. 

 

No. You can block anybody - they don't have to tag you first.

[SKL]

Oh, I see you left the group.  Good for you!

 

I have stuff like that happen sometimes on fb groups I don't want to leave.  Well, not as extreme as you described, but still kinda bad.  I post as little as possible on those pages.  When I do, I am super careful to sound objective and keep it short.

 

I post very little political stuff on my fb page, and when I do, I control who can see it - usually limiting it to like-minded people.  I'm also very careful what I "like," as I think that also helps to set a tone.

 

When my friends post annoying political stuff on their pages, I simply hide that particular post so it can't annoy me any more.  :)  The one time I responded (correcting an untruth which smeared many individuals), the page owner had a fit and I unfriended her.  I got no time for that.

[Janeway]

Because you allowed her to tag you. You can select who is permitted to tag you.

I did not know that. I will need to look in to that.

[Janeway]

One other thing, years ago, I told my husband I wanted to unfriend her but was worried about what she would pull. And then since I did unfriend her recently, this is what she did. It is ridiculous to have to be scared and anxious like that, over a FB page. I can only imagine what teens go through when they have to face this sort of bully through school or otherwise, online. It takes the bullying to a whole new level.

Edited May 28, 2017 by Janeway

[Rebel Yell]

Because you allowed her to tag you. You can select who is permitted to tag you.

In your privacy setting, you can set it so that you have to approve it when someone tags you, or posts to your wall, or even tags a photo you posted.

 

Highly recommended, even when people aren't having issues with people on Facebook.

[HS Mom in NC]

Years ago, I joined a "birth club" at a website that had forums and you could join based on month you were due. This would have been 8 years ago. Somebody on the group made a FB page and poached people from the birth club to the FB page. The birth club went dead as everyone went to the FB page. I ended up joining the FB page. 

 

Problem is, the people on the FB page are not decent people. The decent people stay quiet, so there are decent people, just not the active ones. Of the active ones, their posts wreak of people that I doubt any of us would be friends with. Or if we would be, we would not admit it. A lot of marital affairs committed by the members. A lot of divorces. Pretty much all but a couple of the active members have been divorced during this time, usually because of infidelity. A few of them consider themselves "polyamorous" with a few of them considering themselves "swingers." One keeps posting pictures of her daughters dressed like street walkers and then being angry and indignant when the public schools sends her daughter home. And then when her daughter got caught with drugs on school property, was angry at the school, not the daughter. And another daughter dropped out of school and has had 2 babies by two different boys. You get the idea. AND, the loud ones are not very bright. 

 

I never talk politics on my page. You just do not talk money, politics, or religion openly like that. I have a variety of friends and relatives, on my page, so even if I might talk politics to a like minded person, I would not do it in front of many of my diverse friends and relatives. 

 

Years ago, during the election with Romney, I was a Romney supporter. Heck, I still like him now. But I never posted about it at all. Then, about a week before the election, I posted a Romney button. So someone from that page saw it and went back to the page and told everyone that I was posting racist things on my page. I never did that! When no one could find them and there were no screen shots of these posts, the person claimed I must have taken them down. But in the meantime, some of them started attacking me and all I could respond with was that I never posted that stuff. Some put me on block and there was a hostile environment after that. Things simmered down, but then the elections of 2016 came around. So the attacks started again. I never supported either candidate. I was in the "we are screwed 2016" camp. I did make some political posts during this time, but it was about both Clinton and Trump. I couldn't stand either one. However, the trouble maker started in on the group that I was mentally ill and posted "proof that Trump supporters are mentally ill" articles and referenced me. I was not even a Trump supporter. And this poster never posts facts about anything. On the occasion she posts an article, it is from some extremist fake news site. I rarely ever post any article, but when I do, it is from a variety of sources, but my favorite is Wall Street Journal (which is difficult because many articles cannot be seen without a subscription). I purposefully avoid posting anything from Foxnews because I know some people have an aversion. I do read Foxnews, but I always read from a variety of sites which  includes BBC, Economist, CNN, and even..yeah..the fluff yahoo. WSJ remains my fave though. BUT, this poster is constantly saying "yeah, LOL, figures that you are a foxnews reader, LOL, I get it, LOL" just like that!!

 

Finally, yesterday, someone posts on her own page, as in a friend of mine,  something from a fringe site known for fake news about Germans hating Trump, just like all sane Americans, and so on. It went on and on about the mentally ill who support Trump and how even the Germans see that. I posted back on that say that I do not care if the Germans like our president, the only people that our president needs to be liked by is the Americans. And then I said how that website is known for being unreliable and extremist, and I posted a link from the factchecker site to show that it is known for not having many facts. And then I posted an article from the Economist, which is considered a reliable site, on what happened in Germany. In comes one of the people from that FB group. I do not have that member on my FB page, but apparently, she is "friends" with the person on my page. And she just lays in to me attacking, and of course, putting LOL every other word. She has no facts at all. And she just keeps repeating can't take a mentally ill Trump supporter seriously, LOL, You get all your news from Foxnews, LOL.  I have stopped trying to remind her that I was never a Trump supporter. and she goes on with  her bullying saying " LOL no one likes you, lol because you are mentally ill, LOL, you read foxnews, LOL, everyone who supports Trump LOL is mentally ill LOL. "

 

To top it off, this friend is a friend that I ended up knowing in real life, but sort of through the grapevine. She coordinates foreign exchange students and I have matched her up with some families through the years so we have sort of gotten to know each other. 

 

Then I go back to that birth club FB page and she is posting about how I suddenly started posting <insert cuss word> about Germans and how no one likes me, etc etc. Just completely gas lighting. 

 

Sadly, I only stay on that page because I don't want to cower away. I did put that woman on block at this point. But she actually went and got people to come back and post against me on that friends page and tag me in the posts, people who are not my own friends. I have been called racist for posting things about Germans and how each of them has a friend who is German, etc. I only posted a response to an article about Germans and the Trump visit. So this person is completely gas lighting. Prior to this woman putting me on block, I told her I had no interest in arguing with her because she is not even arguing about anything, she is just throwing out insults. She continued her insults so I did throw an insult and told her it seems she cannot even write a complete sentence with all the LOLs she keeps throwing in. She says that is because she is laughing at me because I am such a joke. And continues to throw insults. That is when I just put her on block. Her next step was to go to others to get them to post to this friends page and continue to tag me in posts. Only one of her friends has done that.

 

I am so frustrated! I know this is all silly and I should just remove the whole group. These are just scummy people that I would never otherwise associate with. 

 

edited to clarify: I am not being attacked on the group. I am being attacked when we have mutual friends and I comment on a friend's post. That is what happened here. I do not even go back and look at the group. Although I did today. So what I need to do is remove the group, AND all friends that are mutual. Except that I have not had problems with the mutual friends, other than her and some of the others from the group using the mutual friends thing to attack.

 

 

I am not being attacked on the group. I am being attacked when we have mutual friends and I comment on a friend's post. That is what happened here. I do not even go back and look at the group. Although I did today. So what I need to do is remove the group, AND all friends that are mutual. Except that I have not had problems with the mutual friends, other than her and some of the others from the group using the mutual friends thing to attack.

 

 

No, I have never said anything to them about anything. I was referencing the endless talking about the cheating, which happens to lead to divorce. And I never say anything to any of them about it. For example, this morning, one of them posted about how she is on some sort of fling website. She told her husband last night she was going out with friends. Then she met up with this guy and had hours of sex, but she worded it with much more descriptive words. Came home drunk and laughed that her husband was too stupid to figure it out. It is that sort of thing.

 

 

Oh and one more thing, that woman went on posting that I said a bunch of stuff I never said. AND, in response to a post that mentioned the Holocaust (not made by me, just on a friend's page), she claimed that Germans never did anything wrong. I am unsure if she means it was ok for the holocaust to have happened or if she is claiming that the holocaust never happened, but regardless, it is just disgusting. I am so just..fed up. I should have left that group years ago. 

 

I left two friends that she is mutual friends with, but those are two people I thought I cared about, and unfortunately, I had to take her off block to make sure I was not mutual friends with anyone else. And FB won't let me block again for 48 hrs.

 

 

It is really dumb why I had stayed. Every time someone left the group through the years, the people left on the group would trash on them. So, I stayed, not wanting to be trashed on. Which is so dumb, as I have endured this all these years. It is sort of a "need to just rip that bandaid off" sort of situation. I stay and every so often, she attacks me through a mutual friend. I go and she has a hayday attacking me. I know, I have been irrational to stay. But I have left now.

 

 

I did unfollow years ago. But this person kept tagging me.

 

 

Wait..to clarify..she did this years ago, and I was baffled and did nothing. She started this up again a few months ago, I put took her to unfollow. Then, she kept going, so I unfriended her. Then she started the tagging bit after I unfriended her. So I put her on block. So then she went to mutual friends started "outing" me to them as saying things I never said. I had to take her off block to see her friends list so I could me sure I unfriended every mutual friend. Now I cannot put her back on block for 48 hrs.

 

 

One other thing, years ago, I told my husband I wanted to unfriend her but was worried about what she would pull. And then since I did unfriend her recently, this is what she did. It is ridiculous to have to be scared and anxious like that, over a FB page. I can only imagine what teens go through when they have to face this sort of bully through school or otherwise, online. It takes the bullying to a whole new level.

I'm going to recommend that in addition to blocking, leaving, tightening up settings for tagging, etc. you completely stop talking and thinking about this.  There is no need to go over the details of who posted what. That level of detail isn't necessary at all because the important thing is that this group isn't contributing positively to your life. Certain personality types tend to get bogged down in wanting to address every little detail and have someone tell them they're right in their assessment of each detail.  That's adolescent thinking.  Adult thinking is determining the group didn't contribute to your life for whatever reason and trusting yourself that you're right about it.  That's all you need. Is this a pattern in your life or is this an isolated situation? Are your kids hearing about this from you and watching mom have a hard time letting go and setting healthy boundaries? If it's a pattern then some professional counseling might be in order.

 

Now go fill your life, mind and emotions with something positive that does contribute to your life. I'm sure there are plenty of lovely people out there who would enjoy interacting with you in constructive ways.

[Reefgazer]

Awful lot energy and time you spent on that post for something that could be solved just by leaving the group.

[GinaPagnato]

Eh, she's just working through it with the Hive. Can't fault her for wanting to use us a sounding board, especially because she ultimately did leave the group.