How do you decide on sentimental items and collections when decluttering?

[Hannah]

We have done a good job of decluttering over the last couple of months and everything in the house now has a dedicated space and is easily reachable without reshuffling anything to get to it.  We still have about 3000 books, but are all shelved in single rows and easily accessible.

 

I  spent about 10 years collecting children's books for our homeschool.  We have 140 South African children's books - many out of print and mostly bought from 2nd hand bookstores - and 700 primary and middle school children's history books also mainly bought 2nd hand locally and from overseas sites and also  swapped when I was actively using bookmooch. We have a very poor public library, so these were all carefully selected from WTM, Story of the World and other recommended lists. 

 

We've moved beyond needing the books for homeschool, so they really have outlived their usefulness.  I'm just SO torn about getting rid of them.  I think its the time and energy invested into the collection and knowing that I would never be able to replace them that keeps me tied to the books.  

 

How do you decide what to keep and what to purge when it comes to sentimental items and collections?

[HollyDay]

Books that can't be replaced I keep.  Books I want my dc to one day have for their dc, I box, clearly label what is in the box, and store them safely.  Books I think I don't want, I consult dc, dh, and put them in a "think about it" box.  After a period of time, say a month, I revisit that box then decide what stays and what goes. 

 

 

[EKS]

I kept the children's books that either I or my children particularly loved.  That whittled down a stack that was probably 10-15 feet high to about 2-3 feet high.  And so far, I haven't needed the ones I got rid of (this was 3 years ago).

[Alessandra]

Dp

 

Oh, sorry, Winterbaby. I did not see that you had liked this. Same as post below, except I added an ETA below.

Edited May 6, 2017 by Alessandra

[Alessandra]

Well, I am not a kon mari type, so in that context, let me say this:

 

I do not believe in getting rid of carefully assembled and much loved book collections. My father spent years collecting books, searching used bookstores for first editions, etc. After he retired, he added a library wing to his house. One of his greatest pleasures was sitting in the library and looking around at the shelves full of books which brought back so many happy memories.

 

As for myself, I have always had rooms of books. (My father took me along when he went to bookstores.) Visiting friends always comment admiringly on how many books I have. It is just normal to me and part of my identity to be surrounded by books. (I look through periodically and get rid of real junk, but the core stays.)

 

It sounds as though you have a great collection. If you got rid of your books, what would you have? A white wall?

 

ETA

I had a few old South African children's history books that I gave away to someone who loved SA. I still miss those books, lol. It was interesting how they compared SA settlement to US settlement. They pointed out that SA was settled earlier than US and did not get rid of most of its indigenous population. It was humbling to read it that way.

[winterbaby]

One of the prizes of my collection is a social studies textbook from Namibia that I found in a thrift store. I have absolutely no use for it and it connects to nothing else in my collection or my life. But what a thing to have! Like a lot of books I have, if I ever got rid of it, it would be by going online to find a buyer who was really interested, not just putting it in a pile of donations. Not for the money but to make sure it was appreciated.

[Ottakee]

If you ever did decide to part with some of the books you might consider contacting adoptive parents who have adopted internationally who might really enjoy those books with their children.

[marbel]

If you don't need to get rid of them (you have space, you aren't being forced to reduce possessions due to moving, etc), and don't want to get rid of them, why are you even thinking about it?

 

Coincidentally, before I saw this thread, I was talking with my daughter about all the books we have in our house, and how I think we should be getting rid of more because I don't want to leave her and her brother with a ton of useless stuff when her dad and I die.  She said "just keep them.  If we don't want them, we'll get rid of them then."  

 

When I think of "decluttering" I picture stacks of books and other stuff piled on floors and tables and such.  Stuff with no set place to live. It doesn't sound like that's what you have. Sounds like your books have a fine place to live.  I think decluttering should be a means to an end, not an end in itself.   If there's no clutter, you've decluttered, right?  

 

But maybe I think of clutter differently.  From dictionary.com's definition of clutter as a noun:

 

5.

a disorderly heap or assemblage; litter:

It's impossible to find anything in all this clutter.

6.

a state or condition of confusion.

 

[VaKim]

Agreeing with Marbel. If you have room to keep them nicely and they give you pleasure, why get rid of them? 

[JIN MOUSA]

I think having a lot of books that you no longer need is only a problem if it's a problem to you. If you enjoy having them, then keep them, guilt-free.

 

If you'd rather get rid of some, I have found it helpful to physically remove things from my space, put them in a box and put the current date on it. Then several months later, take a look through the box and see how you're feeling about them. 

 

If one of the hurdles is what to do with them if you don't keep them (they're obviously valuable to you and I can see wanting to make sure they go to someone else who will value them), maybe brainstorm some people or places that would appreciate them. Someone upthread mentioned families that have adopted, maybe the poor library near you would appreciate them, maybe try to connect with homeschooling families just starting out who would appreciate such high quality books. 

 

Maybe as a nice remembrance of the books and the enjoyment they brought to y'all, you can do some sort of photo project of all the covers - I'm imagining something like a mosaic collage ...

 

One note about keeping them for your kids, is to try to do so with an open hand, really being open to them making whatever choice they want about them. I've had grandparents and one parent pass away and the emotional weight of treasured objects (treasured by the deceased, not necessarily by us) has been heavy. 

[kroe1]

Remember, books can get worms and bugs. Take a photo of your favorites. Think worms. Then take the whole lot to that library you said is not well stocked. Think of all the joy your books can give your town.

[happi duck]

If they make you happy in any way I vote to keep them.

 

Congrats on what you've accomplished!

 

My dream is for each item to have a spot and that no shuffling is required! We are nowhere near that.

[Carol in Cal.]

I would like to have a big enough house to have a library.

If I did, I would keep those books.

 

Since I don't, I have worked over the years to help start homeschooling libraries.  This has not been sustainable, which is really annoying.

 

I don't know what the solution is.

 

In your case, though, since your books are so unique, I would consider thinking of them as a collection that gives me joy rather than a library that is mostly useful if the books are read.  I'd probably try to figure out a way to display them up high (not all that accessible), maybe on shelves near the ceiling, leaving the reachable walls for more everyday stuff.  I have a friend who did this with a bunch of her old toys--she put a shelf about 2 feet from the ceiling around each of her kids' rooms, and jumbled her old toys up there as decor.  It gave her a use for them without allowing them to get broken, and it got them out of the way.

 

 

[Beth S]

As I've posted elsewhere here, we are in the process of cleaning out my in-law's home (after a hurried move out of state to a retirement village).

Honestly, their books are the EASY thing to declutter.  We keep what we want & will donate the rest to the huge charity book sale in town.

They'll even come pick them up.

 

What we WISH is that they had decluttered their VERY old collections of clothes, knick knacks, fabric stash, tools, specialty dishes, and other things which they had not used for many, many years and are more difficult to sell/give away. 

 

Those things that THEY considered "sentimental" but in reality they had not even looked at for a decade. 

 

So listen to your kids--they will likely want to inherit some of your well-loved book collection.  But your stash of half-used craft supplies?!?  *Maybe* not so much!  :)

[Garga]

Get rid of them when you're ready.  I assembled a carefully chosen collection of books for my children to read.  There are about 400 books in the collection.  But it turns out they don't much like to read.  They're only read about 10 of them total on their own, and only at my insistence.  And they've now outgrown many of the books I got for them.  They outgrew a bunch of them a couple of years ago, but I couldn't get rid of them back then.

 

But now, I'm finally at the stage where I'm getting ready to let go.  It took me a while to grieve over the fact that my boys don't enjoy reading the way I do.  But now I'm starting to eye the shelf space and wish there was something else on the shelves.  This summer I will be ready to get rid of a bunch of the books with no regrets  

 

When it's time, you'll know it.  Instead of dreading the job or feeling that tug of sadness, you'll be looking ahead to what other things you can do with the shelves.  It might take a few years, but it'll happen.  And if it doesn't, then just enjoy looking at the books as decorations.  People decorate with pictures and doo-dads, so why not with a wall of books?

Edited May 6, 2017 by Garga

[Carol in Cal.]

Garga has a good point.

 

Decluttering got serious for me when I finally realized that the question was not only, 'Should I get rid of this?' but also, 'Do I want this more than I want this space to be clear or used for something else?'

[Guest]

We *had* to get rid of some books.  Here is how I triaged the homeschool books:

 

1.  Paperback--mostly gone.  (The glue rots and they might as well be used now while they are in one piece).  

 

2.  Paperbacks I read aloud to my kid--replaced with hardbacks and inscribed in the front with the fact that we read them together and the date.

 

3.  Hardbacks--easily replaced, gone.  Hard to replace or read-aloud or sentimental because of giver, kept.  

 

4.  Picturebooks--I kept a few to bring out when we have littles over.  And the high-quality and much-loved ones (thanks for the words, Sadie).  But there aren't that many.

 

5.  Hardback books from MY childhood--largely culled already, but I kept the 5 I still have.  :0)

 

That said, "gone" means passed along to a younger homeschooling family or two or three in our parish.  They love the books, and I hear the delighted reports from the kids as they read them, so it sort of brings it forward.  

[HS Mom in NC]

I recently cut my books down by 1/3.  I decided I no longer needed a monument to what used to interest me.  I like a certain amount of empty space, so I decided 1/3 of the book cases would go and I wasn't keeping any more books than fit in them.  That gave me plenty of room for keeping the books I cared the most about. It's worked out very well for my situation. I'll probably get rid of about the same amount of books in the next five years. 

I've been moving to a more minimalist lifestyle over the last 5 years in various ways for various particular reasons and so far I haven't regretted or replaced anything I've donated.  It's dramatically improved by quality of life. Mostly it's been about taking the time to ask myself what I really care about most and getting rid of things that don't make the list.  Not all of it means physical possessions.

[Guest]

Adding:

 

Anything free on Kindle disappeared from physical view.

I am of an age where I no longer care that people know I have not read Dickens. So why keep the books?

And...I know I have a limited amount of time left. I won't use it reareading some of the books I read.

 

Like the PP, I cut back on storage. We had 28 Billy Bookcases filled with books. Now we have 9. I kept two, my son gets two, and my dh gets the rest. I made myself get rid of books that wouldn't fit on these two cases, and much of that shelving has "things" I love as well.

[Carol in Cal.]

 

We had 28 Billy Bookcases filled with books. 

See, I love this about these boards.

I do not have 28 Billy bookcases.

Hence I can easily conclude that, contrary to some views (I'm looking at you, DH!), I cannot possibly have too many books.

Mwah to you PJ!

[Guest]

See, I love this about these boards.

I do not have 28 Billy bookcases.

Hence I can easily conclude that, contrary to some views (I'm looking at you, DH!), I cannot possibly have too many books.

Mwah to you PJ!

Your mwah belongs to my dh. The books the books the books the books, she muttered. 40 grocery-bags of them went to schools and libraries in the region. Then we moved the rest. Then we got rid of the shelves. Ack ack ack. Now I am an Amazon partner as a bookseller.

 

But yeah. And four families not us now have shelves enough for their books. Ha!

[Hannah]

Thank you for the perspective everyone. 

I'm not yet ready to let go of the books, so they'll stay on their shelves for a while longer.

[kewb]

I keep books until I am ready to release them.  If I am struggling with the decision then I am not ready.  When we moved to our home 20 years ago there is no good wall space for lots of book shelves.  I ended up downsizing my book collection.  Everyone has a bookcase in their room.  Here is what I discovered for me.  I enjoy letting the library house my book collection.  I have an excellent library and I can get almost anything I need.  If I really love a book I will buy a copy.

[Carol in Cal.]

"Readiness" is crucial.

 

Especially with kids' things.

 

There is always stuff that feels sentimental for a while, but gradually loses that yearning pleasantness.  No reason to rush that, I think.

[J-rap]

If you're not ready to part with them, don't.  I tried decluttering about five years ago, and it felt so difficult.  Suddenly today, it seems so much more obvious what I want to hold on to (for now) and what I'm comfortable giving away (or selling, etc.).  You can maybe readdress it again in 3-5 years, unless of course circumstances -- like a move, force you to decide earlier.

[HS Mom in NC]

For my sentimental items I have a cedar chest that my grandparents bought me when I turned 18.  It's enough space for those things I care most about.  When it gets too full and the lid can't close properly, I get rid of enough until I can.  Over the decades it's helped me see that some things I really do value long term and other things I don't.

[nixpix5]

Having raised two boys to adulthood and having 3 at home, I have never once regretted keeping books but do regret some I parted with. My oldest just began asking for some of his childhood books and has said he cannot wait to read them to his kids. I certainly want to read some to my someday grandkids.

[Guest]

One other thing--I have noticed that letting go of things goes in waves for me.  A PP mentioned this.  I have gone through all my son's schoolwork in at least three waves of decluttering, partly because the relevance decreases as he gets older.  At one time, I kept all his work in case we had to place in a school.  Then I kept things like the tests in the math curricula for the same reason.  Then I just kept the scope and sequence in case there were any transcript questions.  But he's 21 now, and even those have gone by the boards.  The things I still have, but have managed to mostly collect into portfolio books are the art he made, and that wasn't even his *thing*.  But it is personal, by a PERSON and so there ya go.  

 

Anyway, you might find that you can do some books now, and some books later and some books never.  :0)