How do you wean a toddler?

[amy g.]

Miss Bossy is my 4th baby, but I only nursed my older kids until they were 6 months old. Weaning them was simple at that age.

 

Little miss turned 2 last month, and I'm ready for a break. I just don't know how to do it.

 

Dh is going out of town in a few weeks. If I haven't been able to wean her by then, he has agreed to take her with him.

 

At this point, she nurses 3 times a day. Sometimes we can get her to skip one feeding by distracting her.

 

Can anybody help me?

[Remudamom]

You'll get plenty of help here, I'm sure, but none from me. I'm chuckling over your description of your dd, The Bossy, and getting a kick out of imagining her bossing you around.

 

I guess you can't try the Mare method, kicking or biting a nursing child would be frowned upon. Have you seen the pic of my pony nursing her baby?

[beansprouts]

I tend to go "cold turkey" and I use the straightforward approach. "Nursies are all gone. Would you like a cup of juice?" As the tantrum ensues, cuddle your child, tell her you love her, speak calmly and gently, but stick to your guns.

 

This only works if they are otherwise ready. When I attempted to wean Orson at 18 months, it became obvious that he was *not* ready. He was angry, hitting me, and throwing things. I had to relent. I did manage to night wean him at this time, and that made it easier for me to continue nursing through my pregnancy with Theon. I was able to wean Orson at 2 1/2, when Theon was about 2 months old. At that age he still didn't like it, but he was able to accept it. He also matured and became more independant once weaned.

[amy g.]

Actually, bossy is an understatement for this child. My sister actually told me that she thinks she's just a "bad seed".

 

When Little Miss is having a fit, she tells me,"Mommy is bad, bad, bad. Her whole body is bad. Her whole face is bad. I need her to go out of this house right now. Right now!"

 

She told my 14 year old, "Even your horse thinks that you're stupid."

 

We ofter wish that she was not quite so verbal.

[melissel]

It might be hard if she's very attached to you. I'm reasonably certain DD6 would still be nursing if I hadn't weaned her at almost three because I was PG and just couldn't take it anymore (:().

 

How verbal is Miss Bossy? DD6 was VERY verbal, so I was able to spend a week or two talking about how soon we'd be only nursing once or twice a day, but that if she needed to, we could cuddle anytime she wanted, yada yada. Then I cut nursing back to just for wakeup and bedtime, and told her she could have "quick cheche"--meaning just a quick comfort nurse. Then I cut down to just a bedtime session. Then I eliminated it altogether. We had a hard week--not awful, but sad, and then she was OK. Ten days later she was upset at bedtime and asked to nurse and I told her no, but she freaked out. I gave in and let her, and she had already forgotten how. She looked totally confused, then stopped, cried a little more, and that was it. It was sad, but I really needed the break. At that point, I was feeling like I was going to have to use formula for the upcoming baby--I was so burned out on nursing I couldn't even fathom the idea of doing it again. Thankfully, the desire to nurse returned as soon as DD3 was born!

 

It did help that I had almost no milk left. Can you find something that might decrease your supply? Peppermint always did it for me, even just the amount in a helping of Breyer's mint chocolate chip ice cream. Cut back on any oatmeal or beer you're consuming.

 

I don't know if I'd let DH take a weaner away from me though. IMO, that would be kind of traumatic, but I guess it depends on the relationship your DH and DD have. Neither of my DDs could have handled that, and I'd worry that it might affect how they feel about DH. But that's just my opinion, of course!

[beansprouts]

Actually, bossy is an understatement for this child. My sister actually told me that she thinks she's just a "bad seed".

 

When Little Miss is having a fit, she tells me,"Mommy is bad, bad, bad. Her whole body is bad. Her whole face is bad. I need her to go out of this house right now. Right now!"

 

She told my 14 year old, "Even your horse thinks that you're stupid."

 

We ofter wish that she was not quite so verbal.

 

You are blessed with an articulate child! :grouphug:

[melissel]

Actually, bossy is an understatement for this child. My sister actually told me that she thinks she's just a "bad seed".

 

When Little Miss is having a fit, she tells me,"Mommy is bad, bad, bad. Her whole body is bad. Her whole face is bad. I need her to go out of this house right now. Right now!"

 

She told my 14 year old, "Even your horse thinks that you're stupid."

 

We ofter wish that she was not quite so verbal.

 

Oh dear. I was typing up my reply while you posted this, so I didn't see it. Now all I can say is: Yeah, good luck with that.

 

:lol:

 

My mom and I often joke that DD6 is going to be a lawyer when she grows up, which is good because DD3 is going to need one :D I can commiserate. The only reason I'm not in the same position as you is because DD3 is so independent, she both potty-trained and weaned herself at less than two years (or maybe right at two?). So, maybe away with DH is the right choice after all :lol:

 

Seriously though, good luck. It sounds like you might be in for a fight. Hold your ground!

[beansprouts]

I don't know if I'd let DH take a weaner away from me though. IMO, that would be kind of traumatic, but I guess it depends on the relationship your DH and DD have. Neither of my DDs could have handled that, and I'd worry that it might affect how they feel about DH. But that's just my opinion, of course!

 

I felt it was important for my babies to know that Mommy is still there for them, and that I was not rejecting them. I was willing to give cuddles, and love them in other ways, but not nurse.

[CAMom]

She told my 14 year old, "Even your horse thinks that you're stupid."

 

We ofter wish that she was not quite so verbal.

 

:lol::lol:Oh. My. Gosh! I tried to read that outloud to my dd (who is 12 with a three year old brother who sounds just like your 2yo) and I couldn't even get the words out I was laughing so hard!:lol::lol:

 

Yesterday, he walked up to her and said, "Brenna has a big butt!":lol: BTW, she's 5'8 1/2" and wears a women's size 6.

 

I can't help you with the weaning. My guy self-weaned just a couple of weeks after his second birthday.

 

I do have a funny little story, though, if you nursing moms will oblige?:)

 

I was getting ready to take a bath a couple of weeks ago. The 3yo was laying on the bed with Daddy. As I got undressed, his eyes got huge and he exclaimed, "OH!! I want to eat those milks!!"

 

I thought I would die laughing. He's been weaned for an entire year and has never even hinted that he remembered nursing. My dh says, "That's it. I'm taking him out of here.":lol:

 

Sympathizing with you and your verbal one.:)

[Ria]

:lol::lol:Oh. My. Gosh! I tried to read that outloud to my dd (who is 12 with a three year old brother who sounds just like your 2yo) and I couldn't even get the words out I was laughing so hard!:lol::lol:

 

Yesterday, he walked up to her and said, "Brenna has a big butt!":lol: BTW, she's 5'8 1/2" and wears a women's size 6.

 

I can't help you with the weaning. My guy self-weaned just a couple of weeks after his second birthday.

 

I do have a funny little story, though, if you nursing moms will oblige?:)

 

I was getting ready to take a bath a couple of weeks ago. The 3yo was laying on the bed with Daddy. As I got undressed, his eyes got huge and he exclaimed, "OH!! I want to eat those milks!!"

 

I thought I would die laughing. He's been weaned for an entire year and has never even hinted that he remembered nursing. My dh says, "That's it. I'm taking him out of here.":lol:

 

Sympathizing with you and your verbal one.:)

 

That is one of the funniest things I think I've ever read!!!

 

Ria

[melissel]

:lol::lol:Oh. My. Gosh! I tried to read that outloud to my dd (who is 12 with a three year old brother who sounds just like your 2yo) and I couldn't even get the words out I was laughing so hard!:lol::lol:

 

Yesterday, he walked up to her and said, "Brenna has a big butt!":lol: BTW, she's 5'8 1/2" and wears a women's size 6.

 

I can't help you with the weaning. My guy self-weaned just a couple of weeks after his second birthday.

 

I do have a funny little story, though, if you nursing moms will oblige?:)

 

I was getting ready to take a bath a couple of weeks ago. The 3yo was laying on the bed with Daddy. As I got undressed, his eyes got huge and he exclaimed, "OH!! I want to eat those milks!!"

 

I thought I would die laughing. He's been weaned for an entire year and has never even hinted that he remembered nursing. My dh says, "That's it. I'm taking him out of here.":lol:

 

Sympathizing with you and your verbal one.:)

 

ROFLMBO!!!! I can just imagine your DH's reaction!!!

[Blessedfamily]

I'm getting ready to wean DD(almost 1) and I have to get my own mind to accept it. So, far I have weaned her from night nursing because I was afraid she would get cavities even though some say it doesn't matter. That wasn't bad. She now nurses 20 min. on each side when she gets up!

 

She refuses anything from a sippy cup even though she knows how to use it. She is very much a mama's girl and I think this is going to be difficult for us both.

[BusyMum]

I weaned #1 when he was 2.5 years. By that time it was just two or three feeds during the day and none at night.

 

We told him that mummy's milk was for babies and that he was our big boy. Then we let him go for his first sleep over at his Nana's. He had a wonderful time and when he came home I simply offered him juice or distracted him if he wanted milk and he was utterly fine with it. I think he asked once or twice.

 

For us, sending ds away from me was absolutely the right decision.

 

I weaned #2 two weeks after his first birthday as I was so sore and exhausted from being three months pregnant. I just stopped. It worked too.

[beansprouts]

I was getting ready to take a bath a couple of weeks ago. The 3yo was laying on the bed with Daddy. As I got undressed, his eyes got huge and he exclaimed, "OH!! I want to eat those milks!!"

 

I thought I would die laughing. He's been weaned for an entire year and has never even hinted that he remembered nursing. My dh says, "That's it. I'm taking him out of here.":lol:

 

 

My boys were not nearly as verbal, but they both did try to nurse Daddy more than once. I think they were convinced that Daddy was holding out on them. :lol:

[Blessedfamily]

I remember the first time my just turned 4yo smarty pants saw me nurse her little sister. She was sitting at the table eating lunch with a glass of milk. She turned her nose up and sniffed and said "Hmph! I'm glad my milk comes from a cow!" As I was leaving the room I said, "Have you ever noticed those things hanging down from your little toy cow? That's where your milk comes from."

 

When I came back letter the glass of milk was still there.

[newbie]

When my dd was two, I got sick and had to take medicine, so I told her there was medicine in there and she never touched them again. Its worth a shot.

[Mesa]

This will be the first baby I have had to encourage weaning with. My dd is 19 months and nurses like a new born still. I think I'll let her nurse until she's 2 and then gradually wean her.

 

I'd like to wean her in order to get back on a migraine protocol my neurologist wants to try me on. Otherwise I'd just let her wean when she decided it was time.

We'll see though... as fond as "Little Miss" is to nursing, I've realized, I too am pretty attached to this special time together.

 

Good luck mama!

[beansprouts]

This will be the first baby I have had to encourage weaning with. My dd is 19 months and nurses like a new born still. I think I'll let her nurse until she's 2 and then gradually wean her.

 

I'd like to wean her in order to get back on a migraine protocol my neurologist wants to try me on. Otherwise I'd just let her wean when she decided it was time.

We'll see though... as fond as "Little Miss" is to nursing, I've realized, I too am pretty attached to this special time together.

 

Good luck mama!

 

All of my babies went through a very "high need" phase wrt nursing from 13 to 20 months or so. They would nurse literally all night long. If you can push through this phase, it does get easier.

[swellmomma]

I am impressed you ahve lasted this long. Before baby girl the longest I ever nursed was 4 months. Baby girl is currently 13months and I have to tell you the pressure of her upper teeth while she nurses is agonizing, she is not biting, she is not doing anything but nursing but oh boy does it hurt, which is pushing me to wean her now. SHe currently only nurses to fall asleep, when she wakes up, and several times through the night, unless she gets hurt(like when she smashed her mouth on the coffee table last week), so I have cut her down a lot. My next goal is the nighttime nursing, but that is hard because we co-sleep, so how does one approach that? Do I have to force her out of my bed and stop nursing at the same time? That seems like too much for one little baby.

[BusyMum]

My next goal is the nighttime nursing, but that is hard because we co-sleep, so how does one approach that? Do I have to force her out of my bed and stop nursing at the same time? That seems like too much for one little baby.

 

I started wearing a bra and nursing pads to bed, together with pyjamas that did NOT offer easy access. This meant that I woke up when baby wanted to feed and could soothe him in other ways or offer water.

Edited October 25, 2008 by BusyMum

[cillakat]

2 is a tough age to wean.....there's a lot going on for them.

 

But I really really get the 'I'm done' thing. I so get it.

 

Start taking sage tincture asap.....lots of it. It will help your milk supply decrease.

 

I'd cut back by one per day over the course of a few weeks. I know dh said he'd take her on the trip if she wasn't weaned....but honestly, that never helped my kids wean. My dh would take them for the weekend to his moms house....I went on trips occasionally. They totally remembered and were back at it like >that<. Not that the break wouldn't be nice though in an of itself....just don't count on it to actually wean her.

 

Also, you may want to consider waiting till her 2 yo molars are in.....that's a toughie for kids and to wean before/during that stage is hard.

 

Anyhoo....

I'd simply distract her from the one you think will be the easiest.... if she's easier in the am, then that one would be first. Make her am routine different than normal, keep her busy, distracted etc. Go out if you usually stay in

 

I'd simply plan on being up early and getting an activity started....keep her busy and distracted. Don't sit where you normally nurse her etc etc. If/when she asks/demands to nurse....simply tell her....we'll nurse after lunch (or whenever the other nursing is done). Not in the morning. Mommy's ___ (whatever word you use) needs a break.

 

Actively work on distracting her away......and be ready to stick out a tantrum. My dd could go on for *hours*.

 

Anyway.....distract, try to engage in other play, distract, try to move things in a different direction.....outside, park, movie *whatever* it takes.

 

Just keep going....forward march.

 

Make sure to have additional liquids and tasty foods available - though I wouldn't go overboard - ie chocolate milk or other sugary liquids to entice her...that just starts a whole different problem:)

 

I weaned my kids older, but with my 3y11 mo old....it was literally a 1 day thing. We'd been on vacation and she was nursing once every few days. Then we came home and she wanted to nurse *constantly*. I looked at her at one moment and said, "we're done nursing. come here sweetie, are you thirsty?" "NOOOOOO, I want to nurse " "oh, okay, well you can *want* to, but we're done nursing so let's........." and that was it. She asked a lot, she threw fits. She got mad, she tried to joke.....i kept the mood light. Didn't get get angry when she inappropriately expressed her anger and frustration and just kept us both moving forward.

 

It's interesting in nature to watch animals of species appropriate weaning age be weaned by mom.......they're always having fits too. Some species are more patient (great apes, elephants) with the toddler fits. Some aren't (grazing animals, cats, dogs etc). But there's definitely something to be learned......

 

All the best,

Katherine

[lovemyboys]

Miss Bossy is my 4th baby, but I only nursed my older kids until they were 6 months old. Weaning them was simple at that age.

 

Little miss turned 2 last month, and I'm ready for a break. I just don't know how to do it.

 

Dh is going out of town in a few weeks. If I haven't been able to wean her by then, he has agreed to take her with him.

 

At this point, she nurses 3 times a day. Sometimes we can get her to skip one feeding by distracting her.

 

Can anybody help me?

 

Wow. I'm sure you have your moments, but she does sound like fun!

 

What worked here -- we weaned down from 3x/day to 1x/nighttime by just snuggling in the rocking chair when it was nap time. I would just not let ds lift my shirt, but would hug him close and talk quietly about snuggling and sweet dreams, sing songs, whatever.

 

I really expected a meltdown and much protest, but dc here did just fine. After a few days when they realized that they could go to sleep without it, we just did the same snuggling at bedtime too.

 

It was a whole lot easier than I ever expected especially with my very vocal one. Hope you find it the same....that, or she's travelling with dh! ;)

[melissel]

I am impressed you ahve lasted this long. Before baby girl the longest I ever nursed was 4 months. Baby girl is currently 13months and I have to tell you the pressure of her upper teeth while she nurses is agonizing, she is not biting, she is not doing anything but nursing but oh boy does it hurt, which is pushing me to wean her now. SHe currently only nurses to fall asleep, when she wakes up, and several times through the night, unless she gets hurt(like when she smashed her mouth on the coffee table last week), so I have cut her down a lot. My next goal is the nighttime nursing, but that is hard because we co-sleep, so how does one approach that? Do I have to force her out of my bed and stop nursing at the same time? That seems like too much for one little baby.

 

We did not have to. I used Dr. Jay Gordon' method:

 

http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

 

DD6 was either 14 or 16 months at the time, and as I mentioned, very verbal already. I spent a week or two talking about how we say "night night!" to lots of things, and then we see them in the morning, and playing that up at bedtime every night. Then I started telling her that soon we'd start saying "night night to cheche" at bedtime. It worked REALLY well for her--much, much faster than his method says, like less than a week. But when she got sick a little while later and was feeling horribly, I did nurse her at night again, and then when we re-night-weaned, she was a little less willing, like she realized that this was a choice, not a necessity :lol: Still, she was an all-night nurser (literally--many times I'd nurse her down and fall asleep at the same time, only to wake in the morning with her still latched on and my back locked in place :blink:), so while I have a policy of not letting babies cry unless absolutely necessary, this was one time when I had to break it. The successive night weaning sessions were each a little but harder, but I'd still do the same thing again.

 

Good luck!

[beansprouts]

My next goal is the nighttime nursing, but that is hard because we co-sleep, so how does one approach that? Do I have to force her out of my bed and stop nursing at the same time? That seems like too much for one little baby.

 

I was able to continue nursing my boys longer because I night-weaned. I do not recommend weaning from both the breast and the bed at the same time, I think that is too much. Your baby needs to know you are still there for her.

 

You need to work out the timing with your dh and your school schedule, because you probably won't get much sleep for the first 2 - 3 nights. If she is old enough to understand, you can explain to her that there will be no more nursie in bed. You may choose to nurse before bedtime, but once you are in bed, the "nursies go to sleep, and will be awake again in the morning". Then hold her, cuddle her, talk, sing, tell her you love her, repeat as necessary. She is going to cry, but at least she isn't crying alone. I recommend wearing clothing that makes you inaccessable, because she is going to try to get to what she wants. Eventually she will fall asleep, but if she nurses frequently through the night she will wake and the whole procedure starts again. You will probably go through the same thing for the next few nights, until she learns to settle herself down without nursing. Really, you just have to push through it. After a few nights she will get used to it, and she will be fine.

:grouphug:

[beansprouts]

Still, she was an all-night nurser (literally--many times I'd nurse her down and fall asleep at the same time, only to wake in the morning with her still latched on and my back locked in place :blink:),

 

Yep. BTDT :grouphug:

[Heather in the Kootenays]

Actually, bossy is an understatement for this child. My sister actually told me that she thinks she's just a "bad seed".

 

When Little Miss is having a fit, she tells me,"Mommy is bad, bad, bad. Her whole body is bad. Her whole face is bad. I need her to go out of this house right now. Right now!"

 

She told my 14 year old, "Even your horse thinks that you're stupid."

 

We ofter wish that she was not quite so verbal.

 

 

I have a 3 yo friend who is a perfect match for her. I keep telling my dear friend that she'll make a great 13 yo. We think our little miss is hilarious but our heart goes out to Mom.

[swellmomma]

You need to work out the timing with your dh and your school schedule, because you probably won't get much sleep for the first 2 - 3 nights.

:grouphug:

 

 

NO dh here to work out timing with, just me and the kids. I will start wearing a shirt to bed since she often latches herself on, she even crawls over my body to get tot eh other side if one side is drained. SHe is not very verbal yet, only a couple words so I don't know how well simply telling her it's gone will work. I will give it a try tonight when the kids areback from camp, because I know our schedules are messed up when they come back from stuff like that anyway.

[beansprouts]

NO dh here to work out timing with, just me and the kids. I will start wearing a shirt to bed since she often latches herself on, she even crawls over my body to get tot eh other side if one side is drained. SHe is not very verbal yet, only a couple words so I don't know how well simply telling her it's gone will work. I will give it a try tonight when the kids areback from camp, because I know our schedules are messed up when they come back from stuff like that anyway.

 

:blushing:

 

I usually pay more attention to signature lines.

[Storm Bay]

My ds is the only one I nursed until 2 because I had to wean my second dd at 18 months because I was too tired to be pregnant and nursing at the same time (she was quite miffed with me).

 

I weaned him cold turkey, 2 days after he turned 2. He'd been my most demanding nurser--I couldn't move or talk to anyone else when he nursed, and he had to have his stomach next to me, which meant he'd only been nursing lying down for a long time because he was too big to be held that way if I sat up. I'd taken him off night nursing cold turkey when he was about 18-20 months old because my 3 yo was having night terrors and I wasn't getting any REM sleep. It took 2 nights for the night nursing, but lots of crying that first night. When I went cold turkey at 2 he refused to hug me at all, and I could only snuggle with hem when he sat in my lap and I read to him. But my mother bought him a blue teddy bear that week that he hugged all the time, so I bought him a duplicate. He eventually started hugging me again and has totally forgotten the entire thing.

[hsmamainva]

This is just my personal opinion ...... but I wouldn't go "cold turkey" on a nursing child!

 

Distraction works VERY well....as does a change in the usual routine (if they're used to being nursed to sleep, maybe have Dad create a night time routine of his own and take over that task).

 

And, to be quite honest, I've never weaned a child. I've always nursed them for as long as they want to nurse....and, at least according to my own, personal experience, you're very close to that age right now!

 

My 1st weaned herself at 2 years 9 months....my 2nd weaned himself at 2 years 6 months...my 3rd weaned himself at 2 years 11 months....now, my 4th child weaned herself at 4 years 7 months, however, she has special needs and, for that reason, it took her longer to "emotionally mature" if that makes sense. She didn't reach that age of "I'm not a baby anymore" (i.e., "I don't need to nurse anymore" until she was over 4 years old)

 

So I would try distraction and a change in routines and see if weaning doesn't just happen on its own!

 

:grouphug: Hang in there, Mama...this is a very brief season in your child's life and you'll be surprised how quickly these days will pass!

[Storm Bay]

This is just my personal opinion ...... but I wouldn't go "cold turkey" on a nursing child!

 

Distraction works VERY well....as does a change in the usual routine

 

Yes, normally I would never do that! My ds was down to 3 times a day; once when he got up, then just before going to sleep. And he simply wanted to chat while nursing, so was doing it for time with me more than anything else. When I weaned my 18 mo old (my eldest I weaned by 13 months because I had to go away for a few days and did it very gradually) I did it gradually, but she hated it anyway. If I hadn't had an unplanned pregnancy I'd have nursed her longer because she wasn't ready, but I could only feed one from my body at my age at that time with all I had to do.

[lighthouseacademy]

I agree with absolutely everything that beansprout says. I too used the Dr. Jay Gordon method for night weaning. I always night wean long before I day wean. I then slowly cut back to nursing just before bed. With one child, dh slowly started putting him to bed more and more because I was away at night etc. One child, who was VERY verbal and 3 weeks shy of 2 I started asking for a song or to count to 10 etc for her and then she had to get off and then I would rock her. Sad moment here... I was 9 wks pregnant with #3 and she had a habit of pinching my lats while she nursed despite constant vigilence on my part. I had explained that she was hurting me and she finally got it. I nursed her for the last time and the next night, she asked to nurse. I told her that mommy hurt so I was just going to cuddle her. She looked at me with huge brown puppy eyes and said, "No pinching!" in a very serious sad voice. Poor girl. Then came #3 who I had to wean because I was leaving town for a week for my herbalist seminar. She was about 5 weeks shy of 2. I had already weaned her down to 1 feeding just before bed per day. That night, I told her that this was the last time she would be able to nurse and then the milk would be all done. I let her nurse until she fell asleep, in fact, I took her and we laid down on the bed together to nurse because I was a bit sad too and I wanted to let her nurse as long as she wanted. We fell asleep together with her in my arms like we used to when she was a baby. She hadn't fallen asleep nursing in months. I then gently put her in her bed. I have such a fond memory of that last nursing with her. The next couple of nights, it would have been so much easier to have dh put her to bed, but I felt like I needed to. She would cry and tug on my shirt, but I would just tell her that nursing was all done and I cried with her, hugged her, and told her I loved her. She was not ready to wean but it was necessary. After 3 or 4 days she was happy to cuddle and rock with me. I never looked back with #1 or #2 about nursing and was quite glad to be done with them, but with #3, I almost wish that I could still nurse her sometimes (it has been 5 months).

 

BTW to the poster who mentioned the teeth resting, make the child relatch EVERY time it happens. I used to have purple teeth marks from #1 because I didn't get it. #3 attempted to rest her teeth a few times and I ALWAYS made her relatch and it got better.

[kat19]

When Little Miss is having a fit, she tells me,"Mommy is bad, bad, bad. Her whole body is bad. Her whole face is bad. I need her to go out of this house right now. Right now!"

 

She told my 14 year old, "Even your horse thinks that you're stupid."

 

 

 

This just cracks me up~sorry.

:lol:

[tricia]

I am in the same boat. How do you wean one that old. Mary is my 12th and she will be 3 in December and still nursing. Normally I nurse until the next one comes along but there isn't a 'next' one just now so she's still hanging on.

[CalicoKat]

1st thing in the a.m. give'm a cup in the highchair with a handful of their fav. cereal.

 

Just weaned my 17 month old.

 

The 4 oz cups that just have a lid with a spout --no sippy spill valve cups, they are harder for kids to figure out IMO.

 

She took it like a champ.

[Chocolate Lover]

And I don't offer this information to create guilt, just information to think about. The world-wide AVERAGE age at weaning is 7 years old. In my opinion, our American obsession with weaning between 6 months and one year or so of age is due to a dependence on the MD authority figure and what they say is OK for women to do with their own bodies and their babies. After a while I stopped telling the Pediatrician that we were still breastfeeding. DS was only bfing as a wake up transition starting at his 3rd birthday. It was special to us. When he was 3 yrs and about 8 mos old I started seeing someone who was jealous of our mother child relationship, but I couldn't see it at the time. I was told I should wean and I did talk about how 4 year olds were big kids who didn't need maymay. I did say no on the 4th birthday. One week later I was broken up with. I should have stuck with my idea of child led weaning! About 6 months later as I was starting to get my energy back DS wanted to try it again, and he didn't know what to do. He tried again about three months later, and I haven't heard about it since. He has always been a sweet cuddly child, with lots of chest patting. I value that in him. Remember, they are little such a short time. When you close the option, that is the end. Well, that is my experience. HTH

[Veritaserum]

I thought this article ("A Natural Age of Weaning") was rather interesting.

 

I've always done distraction/cold turkey. The longest was for 44 months. The shortest was for 18. I'm personally feeling done around 2 years (but I've usually had a newborn at that time as well, which I'm sure factors in!).

 

With the 44-mo we simply had a conversation. I was pregnant with #3 and still nursing #2. I just couldn't nurse her anymore. My body was too tired. She understood.

[hsmamainva]

I thought this article ("A Natural Age of Weaning") was rather interesting.

 

I've always done distraction/cold turkey. The longest was for 44 months. The shortest was for 18. I'm personally feeling done around 2 years (but I've usually had a newborn at that time as well, which I'm sure factors in!).

 

With the 44-mo we simply had a conversation. I was pregnant with #3 and still nursing #2. I just couldn't nurse her anymore. My body was too tired. She understood.

 

That's a very nice "benefit" when waiting until children are older to introduce the idea of weaning, if they haven't weaned on their own already! They are old enough to understand explanations, and they now understand that Mom has feelings of her own. They are less "me focused".

 

And I love Kathryn Dettwyler! :thumbup: I actually met her and heard her speak at a LaLeche League conference in Maryland several years ago (back when my youngest was a baby). Fascinating research!!

[Ellie]

I'm not really into that whole cold-turkey thing (except under special circumstances, such as being pregnant and all that!). There's a mother-child bond involved, not just a feeding issue.

 

The more solid food you give her, and the more fluids she gets from other sources, the less she will nurse.

 

By 2, she could be eating three full meals, plus a couple of snacks. She could be drinking water from a cup (no reason for a bottle at this age), or other beverages.

 

And three times a day is not very much for a little one. If nothing else, it gives the two of you a few quiet moments each day that are all yours.

[amy g.]

Thanks for the help, everyone.

 

I just went ahead and did it.

 

I realized that she understands a lot about lactation because of our dairy goats. I just told her that I'd "dried off" like Latte and Mary, and I wouldn't have anymore milk unless I had another baby.

 

She sure didn't like it, but she has gone 72 hours without nursing, so I guess I can consider her weaned.

[Lovedtodeath]

I am impressed you ahve lasted this long. Before baby girl the longest I ever nursed was 4 months. Baby girl is currently 13months and I have to tell you the pressure of her upper teeth while she nurses is agonizing, she is not biting, she is not doing anything but nursing but oh boy does it hurt, which is pushing me to wean her now. SHe currently only nurses to fall asleep, when she wakes up, and several times through the night, unless she gets hurt(like when she smashed her mouth on the coffee table last week), so I have cut her down a lot. My next goal is the nighttime nursing, but that is hard because we co-sleep, so how does one approach that? Do I have to force her out of my bed and stop nursing at the same time? That seems like too much for one little baby.

I have seen advice on this... co-sleep with dad or grandma at first... hold baby so they are not facing you and therefore there is less association with nursing, get baby to sleep first then go to bed... that's all I got for now.

[Lovedtodeath]

Yep. BTDT :grouphug:

 

Really, you just have to push through it. After a few nights she will get used to it, and she will be fine.

:grouphug:

g

My reply may be too late... but I have to recommend that you do this

gradually. Babies who nurse all night are really hungry and thirsty during this time and going cold turkey (like I did, and regret it) can be cruel. Make a goal to cut out nursing for every other waking, then keep doing that until you are done. This is what I did with my DS and he normally does not wake at night to nurse now, but if he does, it is once or twice and I will still let him nurse. Also be sure to increase food and drink during the day to make up for the missed fluid and calories at night. Weaning cold turkey is like putting your baby on a severe diet. If it were you, would you rather it be done gradually?

[Lovedtodeath]

Thanks for the help, everyone.

 

I just went ahead and did it.

 

I realized that she understands a lot about lactation because of our dairy goats. I just told her that I'd "dried off" like Latte and Mary, and I wouldn't have anymore milk unless I had another baby.

 

She sure didn't like it, but she has gone 72 hours without nursing, so I guess I can consider her weaned.

 

Great idea! Glad it worked. DS went 12 hours a couple of weeks ago, and now he is back to constant nursing. He is really cranky, like he is sick or teething... or both!

[amy g.]

I wanted to clarify that before I weaned her, she was not nursing at night, unless she was sick or terribly upset.

 

Even without nursing at night, she just doesn't sleep well. That is part of what is wearing me down. She doesn't nap, and still wakes up several times in the night.

 

She was down to nursing once at night, once in the morning, and sometimes once in the afternoon.

 

I had planned on gradually weaning her more, but she went 24 hours without nursing, and when I let her nurse again, it was painful. That gave me the extra push to say, "This is over".

 

She has actually had better behavior since being weaned. If we could get her to sleep through the night, I think her tantrums would be over.

[lwilliams1922]

dd #2 was a very demanding nurser. I wanted to wean her at 2 1/2.

Picture me tip towing around so as not to be chased :o

 

I remember at one point I needed her to stop being so demanding so I had her count to 10 or 20 before nursing. She memorized anything to get to nurse.

 

She ended up self weaing a couple of months ago at 3.

I'm glad she got to do it when she was ready.

 

I have an 18 month old still nursing that is not demanding at all. I'm sure she could give it up. at this point she just nurses before bed and when she wakes up.

 

One cool thing is that neither of them were bottle babies. they went straight to cups. I dont even think the youngest had any thing to do with a bottle ever.

 

I still have a medeal pump sitting in the closet. I keep debating if i should pump and freeeze for them to drink out of cups. I just never had the time. :(

[Lovedtodeath]

I wanted to clarify that before I weaned her, she was not nursing at night, unless she was sick or terribly upset.

 

Even without nursing at night, she just doesn't sleep well. That is part of what is wearing me down. She doesn't nap, and still wakes up several times in the night.

 

She was down to nursing once at night, once in the morning, and sometimes once in the afternoon.

 

I had planned on gradually weaning her more, but she went 24 hours without nursing, and when I let her nurse again, it was painful. That gave me the extra push to say, "This is over".

 

She has actually had better behavior since being weaned. If we could get her to sleep through the night, I think her tantrums would be over.

 

My posts were not directed to you, but to the other mom's asking questions. You did wean gradually.;)

[Storm Bay]

Thanks for the help, everyone.

 

I just went ahead and did it.

 

I realized that she understands a lot about lactation because of our dairy goats. I just told her that I'd "dried off" like Latte and Mary, and I wouldn't have anymore milk unless I had another baby.

 

She sure didn't like it, but she has gone 72 hours without nursing, so I guess I can consider her weaned.

 

:lol: What a great way to explain it, because it makes sense to her. I'm still cracking up over how she talks when she's angry with you (I read it some other day.) She may be bossy, but she's also one smart cookie, isn't she?

[Janet in Toronto]

The world-wide AVERAGE age at weaning is 7 years old. HTH

 

Could you provide a source for this? It stretches credulity to think that for every child weaned before age 7, one is weaned after age 7 (which is, simplistically, what such an average would suggest.).

[Lovedtodeath]

Something else: My boy won't do bottles or sippy cups, but he loves straw cups.

 

and something else: WHO recommends bfing until at least 3 yrs old.

 

I agree with you Janet!

[Storm Bay]

Could you provide a source for this? It stretches credulity to think that for every child weaned before age 7, one is weaned after age 7 (which is, simplistically, what such an average would suggest.).

 

:iagree: I've never heard this before, and I've been with some very radical breastfeeders, natural birthers, back to nature women, radical feminists & world travellers. (not all the same people, mind you, but sometimes all rolled into one person) My sister, who has travelled the world and told me some fascinating breastfeeding traditions in various countries, has never mentioned this.