Pot Luck Ideas w/stipulations

[Χά�ων]

I need ideas for some dish to send to a pot luck. But!

 

I am not attending to avoid jerks. Other persons in my household are.

 

I do not want to spend any time preparing the meal.

 

I do not want to soend any time cleaning up after.

 

I do not want to spend a penny on food.

 

I need it to include ingredients that a specific (adult) jerk has a tempertantrum over. Does not matter what it is or if it goes with the dish I will add it in some form or other no matter what

 

It does not need to taste good. In fact if it does not I am fine with that.

 

 

My idea:

Clean out the fridge "bean" dip. Send left overs and directions to blend everything. Of course I will make sure everything contains dreaded ingredient. Tell them to buy their own damn chips and dirty their own food processor.

 

Any other ideas? Yes. Yes I am stooping this low. No, my mind cannot be changed.

[bolt.]

What is the dreaded (manditory) ingredient?

 

I think a slightly more sophisticated version of your "revenge food" would be if it was actually quite excellent (yes, that's money and effort) but you can imagine all the rest of the semi-jerks and bystanders telling the high-jerk exactly how amazing it is... but he would hate it.

[Χά�ων]

What is the dreaded (manditory) ingredient?

 

I think a slightly more sophisticated version of your "revenge food" would be if it was actually quite excellent (yes, that's money and effort) but you can imagine all the rest of the semi-jerks and bystanders telling the high-jerk exactly how amazing it is... but he would hate it.

It is something I will throw in ANYTHING just to be a bitch. ;)

 

I do not care if anyone will like the dish. They know about jerks behavior and did not tell jerk to F off and instead coddled jerk and put an extreme amount of pressure to force us to go along with what jerk wants, so none are really in my good books.

[Rubix]

Pet food pate served with stale crackers? 😩

[AK_Mom4]

I would probably mix it up at home so I could be sure there wasn't a single bite without the taste of Evil.

 

But I'm nasty that way.   7-layer Bean Dip makes an excellent vehicle for despite.  Go For It.

[cjzimmer1]

Well with those requirements, I just wouldn't bother to send anything.  Or send a big bowl of the offending ingredients depending on how passive aggressive you are feeling.  But if you feel like you have to make some attempt at a presentable dish then even a hint as to the ingredient would be helpful in making suggestions on the most minimal effort dish.  Sorry they are giving you such a hard time.

[Plink]

Rice with Goya black bean soup poured over top - takes about 10 minutes to make and contains only 2 ingredients.  It actually tastes quite good (well, at least before the addition of your secret ingredient) but it kinda' looks like baby poop.  

[Χά�ων]

Pet food pate served with stale crackers? 😩

I may do this without the crackers since I do not have any. I can probably sell it as something they may like and that everyone should try and act like I need the to say the meal is wonderful. I would even leave out the dreaded ingredient so the big jerk will try it.

 

I am that pissed off. And that big of a bitch.

[Χά�ων]

Rice with Goya black bean soup poured over top - takes about 10 minutes to make and contains only 2 ingredients. It actually tastes quite good (well, at least before the addition of your secret ingredient) but it kinda' looks like baby poop.

Instead of beans, soaked dog food!

[Χά�ων]

Well with those requirements, I just wouldn't bother to send anything. Or send a big bowl of the offending ingredients depending on how passive aggressive you are feeling. But if you feel like you have to make some attempt at a presentable dish then even a hint as to the ingredient would be helpful in making suggestions on the most minimal effort dish. Sorry they are giving you such a hard time.

I am still not sure how much effort I should put into it. I do not want to put any time or money into it. Unless the main indgredient is pet food. I can get on board with making pet food all fancy and sending it.

[Spryte]

Ok, unfair advantage, I think I know the dreaded mandatory ingredient:

 

Rice with a can o' the stuff poured over top.  

 

Or, how about hummus?  Everyone loves hummus!  Mwuhahahaha!

 

Or it can be added to bean dip, easily.

 

[Spryte]

Double post, double the revenge food!

Edited November 2, 2016 by Spryte

[Χά�ων]

I am not normaly this evil, but I have been hurt repeatedly over the paat months through passive agressive actions. I am angry. I am hurting. And I am getting mean.

[bolt.]

It's totally fair to experience your emotions! They belong to you, after all. I'm sure after a little while you'll conclude that you really don't want to live in angry town forever. That knowledge that you will eventually grow tired of being in this state yourself (no matter how jerks act) is what makes it an ok place to visit when you need to.

 

Just don't actually hurt anyone, ok? (Pet food isn't safe, even for jerks.)

[Valley Girl]

You're probably not going to want to hear this, but I'm going to throw it out there anyway. I get that you're angry. From what you've written in previous posts, it sounds as though you have every right to be. My concern with this way of dealing with the potluck as opposed to sending nothing at all is that other members of you immediate family are going. Am I understanding that correctly? Unless you're equally angry with them, I wouldn't want to put them in the line of fire. What I would do, though, if I felt the need to make some statement and send anything at all would be to make a dish that does taste good but has plenty of the offending ingredient in it.

 

Again, it sounds as though you've been on the receiving end of some really horrid behavior. I don't blame you one bit for having reached your limit and for resenting the lack of support from other family members. I just wouldn't want that brief moment of satisfaction to come back to bite you or some innocent party in your immediate family. Please disregard my post if it offends you.

[zoobie]

What do you need to clean out of your pantry? Expired cans you can't donate but are still safe?

[Χά�ων]

It's totally fair to experience your emotions! They belong to you, after all. I'm sure after a little while you'll conclude that you really don't want to live in angry town forever. That knowledge that you will eventually grow tired of being in this state yourself (no matter how jerks act) is what makes it an ok place to visit when you need to.

 

Just don't actually hurt anyone, ok? (Pet food isn't safe, even for jerks.)

I do OK, then jerk does something else before I can fully process. These are not little things. These are not few and far between. These are deliberately aimed at me. What kills me is that it is not my place to confront jerk, I can only set boundaries and have zero control over the situations. I feel if I had more control I would have handled them very different and stood my ground, thus showing Jerk that I would not allow the behavior to continue. I would have publically called him out and forced him into an uncomfortable place where his tactics are out for everyone to see.

 

Link for dogfood not safe for people? I am seeing the opposite. Internet and all

[Χά�ων]

You're probably not going to want to hear this, but I'm going to throw it out there anyway. I get that you're angry. From what you've written in previous posts, it sounds as though you have every right to be. My concern with this way of dealing with the potluck as opposed to sending nothing at all is that other members of you immediate family are going. Am I understanding that correctly? Unless you're equally angry with them, I wouldn't want to put them in the line of fire. What I would do, though, if I felt the need to make some statement and send anything at all would be to make a dish that does taste good but has plenty of the offending ingredient in it.

 

Again, it sounds as though you've been on the receiving end of some really horrid behavior. I don't blame you one bit for having reached your limit and for resenting the lack of support from other family members. I just wouldn't want that brief moment of satisfaction to come back to bite you or some innocent party in your immediate family. Please disregard my post if it offends you.

I had not considered that my loved ones may eat what I send. Thanks for pointing that out.

[Χά�ων]

What do you need to clean out of your pantry? Expired cans you can't donate but are still safe?

Sadly, no. :(

[zoobie]

I had not considered that my loved ones may eat what I send. Thanks for pointing that out.

Loved ones going to socialize with people who are mean to you can arrange their own darn potluck dish.

[Χά�ων]

I still do not want to cook or spend money. Maybe cheap hummus from costco. Do they sell cheap chips made from chickpeas flour?

[Χά�ων]

Loved ones going to socialize with people who are mean to you can arrange their own darn potluck dish.

I normally agree, but I want to ensure that ingredient is included and that there is little to no impact on my grocery budget.

[hornblower]

Can you send nothing at all? 

Or just cater to the family members who are going & let them pick up a pizza on the way & share that. The people who bring pizza to potlucks are always super popular so you'll get points for being that. 

 

and order a pizza for yourself.

And  go eat a box of donuts by yourself and watch your favourite shows on netflix and just enjoy being good & right. 

[Χά�ων]

Can you send nothing at all?

 

Or just cater to the family members who are going & let them pick up a pizza on the way & share that. The people who bring pizza to potlucks are always super popular so you'll get points for being that.

 

and order a pizza for yourself.

 

And go eat a box of donuts by yourself and watch your favourite shows on netflix and just enjoy being good & right.

I am debating sending nothing. The signup is already happening and I am feeling the pressure.

 

Pizza is a rare thing in our house and not something I want to share. Not that it will last more than 5 minutes with my almost 13 year old son. I guess I can buy a pizza and just not bother with the usual threats of pains of death if it is cometely consumed before others get a chance to eat it. The result would be a mostly empty box. Or a piece of the box if I only order a small pizza. Boys!!

Edited November 2, 2016 by Χά�ων

[Valley Girl]

Sticking my nose back in where it's not wanted to ask why your DH hasn't stood up for in the face of mistreatment. Surely he knows? Maybe you've already addressed that with him if he doesn't have your back. But that might be what really needs to change. Because the more I thought about it, the more I wondered why anyone in your immediate family is going when you're being treated so badly. That, to me, is the bigger issue. Again, sorry you're dealing with real jerks in the extended family.

Edited November 2, 2016 by Reluctant Homeschooler

[Χά�ων]

Sticking my nose back in where it's not wanted to ask why your DH hasn't stood up for in the face of mistreatment. Surely he knows? Maybe you've already addressed that with him if he doesn't have your back. But that might be what really needs to change. Because the more I thought about it, the more I wondered why anyone in your immediate family is going when you're being treated so badly. That, to me, is the bigger issue. Again, sorry you're dealing with real jerks in the extended family.

Family dynamics are such that in his family jerk can do no wrong and dh can do no right. It is strongly reinforced by their mother and the rest of the family follows along. Dh is not a man of many of words while jerk is a verbal blow hard who will steam roll anyone just to get his way. He surrounds himself with yes men to further stroke his ego. Disgusting person.

 

DS will not go. He does not want to go and even if he did, he has big ears and his mother's mouth and shockingly, I do not think that will not end well.

[Carol in Cal.]

Damn!

 

I have no idea what this is about, but I'm really impressed.

 

However, I need to know the secret ingredient if you want me to help you plan.  Spill!

[zoobie]

I am debating sending nothing. The signup is already happening and I am feeling the pressure.

 

Pizza is a rare thing in our house and not something I want to share. Not that it will last more than 5 minutes with my almost 13 year old son. I guess I can buy a pizza and just not bother with the usual threats of pains of death if it is cometely consumed before others get a chance to eat it. The result would be a mostly empty box. Or a piece of the box if I only order a small pizza. Boys!!

Costco pizzas are huge and cheap. Call ahead and it will be ready to pickup. :)

[JustEm]

I would send your family with nothing or simply beg them not to go at all. At a certain point cutting off your dh's family is going to have to happen if they allow this person to continue to treat you as a lesser person.

[Χά�ων]

I have no clue what that ingredient is (maybe it was mentioned above but I missed it), but I would google "recipes with xxxx" and I'd find one that is so chock full of the offending ingredient that it's just sickening. And even if I had to spend a couple of dollars to make that disgusting dish, I'd do it, just to piss off the offender.

Hint in post #21

[JustEm]

But I also like the cat food idea

[Χά�ων]

I would send your family with nothing or simply beg them not to go at all. At a certain point cutting off your dh's family is going to have to happen if they allow this person to continue to treat you as a lesser person.

Ironically, I was friends with his mother for years before our relationship. It different being inside than out.

[JustEm]

Ironically, I was friends with his mother for years before our relationship. It different being inside than out.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

[Χά�ων]

But I also like the cat food idea

Lol! Me too. Me too.

[zoobie]

Roasted chickpeas are cheap and can be seasoned to be tasty for everyone else.

 

A restaurant we love serves a really delicious warm chickpea salad. As written, it wouldn't be cheap. You could reduce the cheese and dried cherries. http://www.accessatlanta.com/entertainment/dining/leon-full-service-warm-chickpea-salad-packed-with-flavor/UdnxvhL30w6IcWrT1TQfKO/

 

I've seen a salad with roasted chickpeas and cubes of sweet potato or butternut squash that looks beautiful and wouldn't be $$.

[FaithManor]

Seriously, I would refuse to go, the end. Fake barfing up a lung if necessary, but do not go.

[Carol in Cal.]

http://steamykitchen.com/10725-crispy-roasted-chickpeas-garbanzo-beans.html

 

http://www.mayakaimal.com/chickpea-chips#.WBqEdforJPY

 

 

[mamaraby]

I still do not want to cook or spend money. Maybe cheap hummus from costco. Do they sell cheap chips made from chickpeas flour?

Good Thins makes chickpea crackers in a garlic & herb flavor. Otherwise, Maya Kaimal makes chickpea chips.

 

And Hippeas makes chickpea puffs, but that won't work so well for dipping.

[Seasider]

Loved ones going to socialize with people who are mean to you can arrange their own darn potluck dish.

You stated this much more kindly than I was thinking it.

 

OP I am sorry that this person continues to be enabled in his rotten behavior.

[Seasider]

I am debating sending nothing. The signup is already happening and I am feeling the pressure.

 

Pizza is a rare thing in our house and not something I want to share. Not that it will last more than 5 minutes with my almost 13 year old son. I guess I can buy a pizza and just not bother with the usual threats of pains of death if it is cometely consumed before others get a chance to eat it. The result would be a mostly empty box. Or a piece of the box if I only order a small pizza. Boys!!

About you feeling the pressure - um, too bad for them. They can pressure all they like. You're the only one who can choose whether or not to bend to it. Don't bend. And don't feel bad about not bending.

[Seasider]

Family dynamics are such that in his family jerk can do no wrong and dh can do no right. It is strongly reinforced by their mother and the rest of the family follows along. Dh is not a man of many of words while jerk is a verbal blow hard who will steam roll anyone just to get his way. He surrounds himself with yes men to further stroke his ego. Disgusting person.

 

DS will not go. He does not want to go and even if he did, he has big ears and his mother's mouth and shockingly, I do not think that will not end well.

If dh can do no right, why even bother trying? You should ALL boycott, which he can do without being a man of many words.

[cjzimmer1]

Now that I've seen the hint, I wonder if the yummy looking chocolate chip cookie pie recipe  made with chick peas might be in order.  Yes it might cost you a little grocery money but perhaps that might be worth it for jerk to eat it unknowingly.

[AmandaVT]

Chickpea blondies! 

 

I would say we share a BIL, but we don't have a mandatory family potluck coming up.....

[Ailaena]

Many pet foods are "feed grade" and likely won't kill you but do contain things that are not permitted to be sold for human consumption. Like, dead, broken, or diseased animals, Icky by-products, fillers, certain chemicals, etc.

 

Interesting reading: http://www.accessdata.fda.gov/scripts/cdrh/cfdocs/cfcfr/CFRSearch.cfm?CFRPart=110

 

OP, :grouphug:

[CadenceSophia]

Well, I personally think you should always be able to defend yourself and call out bad behavior toward you. I have caused some ugly family situations.. Wait no. I didn't cause them. I stood my ground against an immediate family member on my husband's side who everyone else tiptoes around. My boundaries are pretty straight forward. I will not be cursed at. I will not have my kid endangered (aka being alone with unsafe relatives among other things) and I will meet the physical and emotional needs of my family as necessary. Outside of that I am super polite and as cooperative as possible. It was super hard on my marriage at times but now DH understands that I don't hate his family, I just have (sane, healthy) boundaries that I will not let be violated without acting.

 

When you grow up in an unhealthy family situation, it is easy to think the expected behavior should be the continuation of that situation. That's double the reason for me not to let my kids see me functioning that way.

 

Sorry if this doesn't match your situation and please ignore. Your rage just sounds all too familiar

[Χά�ων]

Well, I personally think you should always be able to defend yourself and call out bad behavior toward you. I have caused some ugly family situations.. Wait no. I didn't cause them. I stood my ground against an immediate family member on my husband's side who everyone else tiptoes around. My boundaries are pretty straight forward. I will not be cursed at. I will not have my kid endangered (aka being alone with unsafe relatives among other things) and I will meet the physical and emotional needs of my family as necessary. Outside of that I am super polite and as cooperative as possible. It was super hard on my marriage at times but now DH understands that I don't hate his family, I just have (sane, healthy) boundaries that I will not let be violated without acting.

 

When you grow up in an unhealthy family situation, it is easy to think the expected behavior should be the continuation of that situation. That's double the reason for me not to let my kids see me functioning that way.

 

Sorry if this doesn't match your situation and please ignore. Your rage just sounds all too familiar

Sadly, it sounds all too familiar.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Maybe you can find some "interesting" ideas here:

 

https://www.buzzfeed.com/hilarywardle/diet-recipes-1970s?utm_term=.tiMq3M6PN#.cuDeP4kBg

 

:lol:

[Χά�ων]

Is this the jerk that "smokes" and the cops may show up to the party that was talked about a month ago?

Yes

[Happy]

As much fun as I'm having fantasizing about a cat food dip (you call it Revenge and serve it cold), I'm going to encourage you to not engage. I get that you are hurt and probably pissed your family isn't standing firm with you, but taking a higher road is the better path.

 

I have an evil relative who I had to simply cut all contact with. I could never hurt him as much as he hurt me....and I had to stop trying to teach him a lesson.

 

So...gently, just do not go there.