Kids and expensive hobbies

[4KookieKids]

How do you decide when / whether to allow a child to pursue an expensive hobby?

 

My 4 yo (almost 5) has been really into ballet for the last year. We've done all the inexpensive options, thinking that this phase will pass: things like community classes and ballet instructional videos and library books and youtube videos. But the phase has not passed and this "phase" is going on a year. She watches at least 30 minutes of instructional dvds each day and practices with them. She goes through ballet books, imitating and practicing every single pose. She spends at least 1-2 hours a day practicing at other times (generally just 5-10 minutes at a time, but *frequently*). I'm actually a bit stunned at how much time she spends on this, given that she's still only 4 years old. And she begs for more ballet class.

 

Intro ballet is expensive (not to mention if she continues with it to the more advanced level), and will squeeze an already tight budget. And I also recognize that lots of little girls want to be ballerinas, but few actually grow up to do it. But I also don't want to quash a passion for something.

 

ETA: We have four kids, and I'm nervous about starting something that will require running all over the place with one of them and neglecting others or not being able to give everyone the time/money they need to pursue their passions.

Edited August 13, 2016 by deanna1ynne

[Carrie12345]

I don't know what the ages of your other kids are, but I can tell you that all of ours consider "running all over the place" with their siblings to be a normal thing, and they get their pay off in the end.  There is definitely no neglect involved!

 

We do make compromises.  The kids can do Little League and/or school ball, but none of them are going to do travel ball.  We don't have anywhere near the time or money (or parent clones) to accommodate that.  Inexpensive Musical Theatre class, yes.  Private voice lessons, no.  Expensive karate classes freaked me out.  Free membership for every family member after the 2nd? Sold!

 

Only you know what your overall finances and logistical capabilities are.  If one Kindy level activity is going to be difficult on either of those levels, even before any of the other three kids want to do something, it may indeed be a bad idea.

[Guest]

Can't you just keep doing the "community classes?"

 

It's not a choice between letting one child's interest run you into the poor house, leaving nothing for the others and killing her dreams forever!

 

At least not yet lol.

 

Just do what you can for her right now. Who knows what the future will bring, both in terms of her interest and opportunities to pursue it?!

[City Mouse]

At 4yrs old, I would just continue the community level classes. If is is going turn out to be super talented, waiting a few years to increase the level of commitment will not keep her from being successful.

as long as you have the time and money, I don't see anything wrong with letting her follow her interests, but I have not allowed my kids to participate in things they really did want due to the time and money commitments.

Is my DS going to be scarred for life because I did not sign him up for soccer even though he asked for many years? I hope not, but we let him participate in the activities we could afford.

[MinivanMom]

I'm a big believer in following and supporting my kids' interests. But I've also found that every single activity can be done in a way that expensive or inexpensive, crazy-time-consuming or balanced with other family needs. Every.single.activity. For example:

 

-I have friends whose daughters were obsessed with horses. There was no way they could ever afford even lessons, but the obsession stayed there. Eventually, mom found a stable that would allow the girls (by then they were preteens) to work and muck out stables in exchange for a few free riding lessons and time on horseback. 

-I have another friend whose daughter loved gymnastics. They don't have the money for serious USA gymnastics, and they weren't interested in a lifestyle that involved traveling for competitions. They could afford to sign their daughter up for a rec class, so they signed her up and didn't worry too much about whether their preschooler was headed to the Olympics. She was very good, but they stayed off the serious track, and she is now a cheerleader for her school cheer squad.

 

On the flip side:

-I know families who spend crazy $$ on running. I would have thought that cross-country was the cheapest activity you could try, but they travel constantly to marathons & races in other parts of the country.

-I also have some extended family members who spent crazy $$ on their daughters playing the recorder. I would have thought that was the least expensive instrument to pursue, but if you do private lessons with a conservatory-level instructor, buy antique instruments, and join Baroque-recorder groups . . . well.

 

So I wouldn't ever get doomsday about any activity. You just have to know what you are personally able to support. Personally, I wouldn't go into debt for any activity. I also wouldn't do anything that altered our family life significantly (no travel teams, no relocating to LA to attend auditions, no Arts Boarding School). Outside of those two things, we do our best to find a way to make it happen that's affordable and balanced with family life.

 

So if you can afford the intro-ballet class at the nice studio, then I say you should go for it. If not, then there's no reason you can't continue with dance at the community center. Don't worry about the future cost of ballet classes, pointe shoes, or Summer Ballet Intensives. She's four. She may move into another dance form or move onto a completely different activity. Let her do what she loves now, and it will work itself out in the long-run.

[happypamama]

If you can't afford it, you can't afford it.  That's just reality.  You do what you can, and that's all you can do.

 

If you can afford the community center classes, I'd keep doing them as long as you can.  We did community center ballet at that age, and I would have kept doing it if we hadn't moved to an area where there aren't community center classes.  We did go to a private studio at that point, but it was surprisingly reasonably priced.  We did that for almost five years before DD was completely bored.  In her case, I did not feel badly continuing her classes, even though her younger brothers weren't doing an activity, because one, at the time, it was her passion, and two, her next youngest brother wasn't really into doing activities (very shy as a child, didn't want to leave Mom).  I actually was not unhappy that she got tired of ballet; she was heading into needing more classes, pointe work, etc., and it wasn't my goal to head there, although we would have if she'd really wanted to.  Plus, it was a time when our budget was really tight.  We spent a couple of years not doing any outside activities, and that wasn't terrible.  Then, our budget loosened a little, and the three older kids (then 12, 9, and 5) asked to join martial arts.  My girly ballerina transformed into a strong kicking machine. ;)  (In all seriousness, the years of ballet helped a TON.  Not only does she have very strong leg muscles for kicks, and she's super flexible, but her kicks are so beautiful.  Her brothers have other strengths, but you can definitely tell that DD and one of her usual work partners are ex-ballerinas.)  Martial arts is GREAT because there's a multi-student discount, and because all three kids go at the same time, and there's a nice waiting room for the younger children and me. 

 

Sometimes I think we should be putting money into other things, and activities aren't essential, but then I think that we're getting a very good value for the money, and I also think that it's good for kids to have a long-term hobby or activity, if we can possibly swing it.  But you can also only do what you can do.  I am being all rambly here, but I'd keep doing community classes as long as you can and then reevaluate.  Who knows what you might be able to do in the future, or what she might want to do?  Even really girly preschoolers may change a lot!

 

ETA: It's also not a bad idea to talk with your spouse about what you're willing and not willing to do, even if the budget allows. I suggested signing our middle child up for rec level soccer.  DH was REALLY against it because he knows too many families who started at that level and then had to move to travel soccer, which is very expensive, and very time-consuming.  He's very happy to spend a couple of hours every few months at a belt test, but especially since we will have several very young children for the foreseeable future, and he already works really long hours, he was not at all interested in mandatory weekend travels and all.  He really didn't want me to start something that we would refuse to continue at some point.  (Major financial changes aside, he's happy to continue to have them do martial arts.)  So we didn't try soccer.  My son wasn't asking for it; I just thought he might enjoy it.  If he ever looks back and says, "It seems like all my friends played travel soccer -- why didn't I?," I have legitimate reasons for him, and that's that.  No kid is ever going to get to do everything they think is cool.  So talk to your spouse and discuss how far you're willing to go.

Edited August 13, 2016 by happypamama

[justasque]

I'm on the other end of this journey.  Every physical fitness activity was well worth the time and expense.  

Dance, in particular, is exercise, discipline, poise, musicality, memorization, friendship. 

I was glad in middle and high school that my interested kids had long-standing activities that involved a different friend group than academic things; a diverse friend group was great insulation from friend drama; if one friend was on the outs, there was another who wasn't part of that particular group at all who could step in until the drama died down.

 

For ballet, it's usually mostly classes, with an optional weekend performance some time during the year (often Nutcracker).  There's generally not "travel ballet", unless your studio competes, which is not common.  That said, we've made good friends and had good times with the various outings involved with dance and scouts and the like.  It looks crazy from the outside, but we gradually ramped up to the level we were comfortable with and kept a sharp eye on not going further than was sensible for us and our students.

I do think that, for a bright, interested child, a serious ballet school is usually roughly the same price as a rec class.  The instruction will likely be much better (creating good habits that don't have to be unlearned).  The other students will likely be much more serious, even at four, making the class a better use of your time and money.   Take a look in your area, and don't assume that the better schools are more expensive.  (For dance, the expenses are class tuition, costumes (sometimes bought outright, sometimes included in a "performance fee"), tickets to performances (sometimes bought outright, sometimes a certain number included in the performance fee; prices vary widely), shoes, dance clothes (cheaper at a studio with a strict dress code, as there is less fashion pressure).)  Make sure you're comparing the full cost, and looking at the cost moving forward, when you choose a school.

There are often family discounts at dance studios; ours offers free classes after about seven hours a week per family.  For those with two or three kids, that's a great deal; even the moms sometimes take a class or two!

[shinyhappypeople]

At 4 or 5 years old, there's no real advantage to a private studio over community classes.  Even at a private studio, dance at this level is adorable but not exactly intense.   Just keep on keeping on.  Even if she's a prodigy, waiting until she's 8 or 9 for more expensive studio lessons isn't going to hurt her.

[ReadingMama1214]

I would not invest in a private studio at this age. As pp said, true ballet lessons typically don't start until older.

 

Dd (4.5) does ballet at a local studio. It's $45/mo for one 45minutr class per week. She learns the terms and positions, but in a fun and relaxed manner. She'll come home and do a move and I'll have to google it to see what it is. Typically classes around here are 45-80 a month. And I haven't seen any benefit in the$80mo class. Even our local dance company (Colorado ballet) offers preschool classes under $100/mo.

[Alessandra]

Your dd sounds so disciplined and committed. If she has talent too, I would consider doing whatever I could to involve her in ballet as much as possible.

 

Have you read Malcolm Gladwell's The Tipping Point? He emphasizes that, in order to be really good at something, people need to put in hours of reactive. He uses a sports example. Travel team kids will have played 2-3 times as much as regular kids after one year. The gap only increases.

 

I am not in favor of pushing kids, but for a kid with a real love of an activity, there can be big benefits to committing.

 

I agree with Justaque's post above.

Edited August 13, 2016 by Alessandra

[eternallytired]

Knowing that you have four kids, I would consider the cost and decide whether you are able to afford that x4.  Perhaps not everyone will be as passionate or have interests that are as expensive, but if they do, how would you choose?  Would you be willing to tell DD later that she needs to cut back so someone else can get some funding?

 

ODS was obsessed with guitars from age 2, but we didn't sign him up for lessons until he was nearly 7.  Let's just say that it didn't hold him back from succeeding incredibly, but having him in private lessons (usually it's group, which is cheaper, but he was progressing too quickly) has been more expensive than we anticipated needing to budget for.  He's also doing gymnastics at the parks & rec.  They only have classes for boys through second grade, so he's nearly aged out; I've told him outright that I can't afford gymnastics anywhere else (those private gyms are pricey!) unless he's willing to give up guitar.  I feel bad, since he loves both, but I can't grow more money, and making hard choices and living within your budget are skills worth teaching.

 

While I'd agree that the discipline, poise, and friend aspects are nice, having read on here the potential cost of dance (several recitals and costumes and competitions--I think someone quoted $20K/year for their young teen), I'd keep it as inexpensive and informal as possible for as long as possible.  I know I certainly couldn't afford that kind of price tag for even one child, and even if I could, I'd not be able to do it for all of them.  It's hard to balance one kid's dreams and talents with the budget and needs of everyone else.

[Jackie]

Talk to some dance people. My understanding is that all ballet is considered "Intro" or "Pre-ballet" until age 7. Before that, it's learning basic positions, rhythm, following instructions, working in a group, etc. Nothing more than that happens before 7yo, even at the pricey private studios. If the information I've been given is correct on that, you would be better served with the community classes for two more years.

[Tracy]

If you can't afford for all of your kids to be in ballet (or something similarly expensive), then don't start now.  I only have 2, and it is about killing us.  Sure, it was easy enough when she was 5yo and taking one 30-minute class per week for $80 per semester.  Then it was 2 days per week.  Now it is 4 days per week, and now my younger child has started more serious classes 2 days per week.  I will be spending $1500 this next year for classes.  This is just with the park district, not a fancy dance school.  The other issue I have with it is that it seriously impedes our free time.  Now, I am in a situation where this is my dd's life, and quitting would be a huge sacrifice for her.  

 

When it all started, I was just looking for things for my 5yo to do.  Now we have too much, and I can't really do anything about it. 

[SebastianCat]

I agree with others that at 4, it's not a good idea to commit to any single activity, especially an expensive one.   But you can definitely start asking around, and you might be surprised to find a studio that's more affordable that may be an option for the future. 

 

If you have grandparents or other relatives, ballet class could make an excellent Christmas or birthday gift.   Especially with 4 kids, you probably don't need a bunch of new toys each year.  

 

My 14-year-old DS has found an EXTREMELY expensive interest - it's not exactly a hobby yet - in flying.  My dad (DS's Grandpa) was equally excited about flying when he was a teenager, and did his solo flight before he got his driver's license to drive a car.   So we are steering Grandpa toward flying-related gift opportunities for DS as much as possible.   But even as expensive as flying can be, we've found opportunities for free flight experiences through the Young Eagles program.  

 

If you keep your eyes and ears open, and ask questions of acquaintances locally, within the next couple of years I think you'll be able to find opportunities for your DD to take ballet lessons at a level that fit's your family's budget.   But I agree wholeheartedly with others that you and your DH should talk now and establish a budget and a limit for extracurriculars for all of your children - how many activities, and how much you can afford in both time and money.   

[ReadingMama1214]

Talk to some dance people. My understanding is that all ballet is considered "Intro" or "Pre-ballet" until age 7. Before that, it's learning basic positions, rhythm, following instructions, working in a group, etc. Nothing more than that happens before 7yo, even at the pricey private studios. If the information I've been given is correct on that, you would be better served with the community classes for two more years.

This is true. Even at my DDs studio which isn't super fancy, the actual ballet classes don't start until 6/7. Everything else is an introduction. Her teachers all have degrees in dance and the studio director Even has a masters in dance. But It's still affordable with only one recital a year.

[Peaceful Isle]

My dd has been obsessed with horses since I can remember. It was just last year we started lessons for her. She loves it, all of it, just being around horses.

My other daughter was obsessed with drawing, she had lessons last year, and this year is like meh, not too interested.

 

Some interests fade, and some don't. I would wait until she was 5/6 and do all the other inexpensive stuff until then.

If she is still into it after that, do everything in your power to let her fulfill her dream :)

[Arcadia]

We have two kids. How we decide is that we can afford roughly the same amount of time and money for both. As in we can't spend most of the hobby budget on one child and the other is left with little money to spare.

For example, my oldest cello rental cost a lot more and his lessons cost more than my youngest flute lessons and bought flute. Cello works out to about $350 per month for rental and lessons while flute lessons works out to $120. We have $230 per month to put into DS10's future hubby expense.

So kind of like the idea of a 529 plan for kids. We don't count down to nickel and dime but we also don't want funds depleted by the first kid with a relatively expensive passion. My aunts has a lot more kids than me and what they did was paid partially and the kids top it up with birthday money and scholarships. That way all six kids get to do something without my aunts having work extra hours to finance their hobbies.

 

My BIL's 14 year old daughter is in ballet seriously since a child. She did not clear the audition to get into an art magnet middle school. My BIL and his wife spent a lot of it and so far their younger two children has no hobbies other than piano which BIL's wife teach. If their 12 year old son or 9 year old daughter decide to pick up another hobby, his wife would need to work longer hours as a piano teacher as well as sell more as a freelance beauty consultant. My SIL budget similarly to us.

[Donna]

We made decisions on activities based on what we could afford both in terms of money and time commitment.

 

When the kids were young, they tried out various activities at different times but there eventually came a time, at a different age for each, when they developed one "passion" and other activities were let go so more of their time and our money could go toward that activity. Even then, decisions were made based on our own comfort level as a family. We wanted to be able to let each child develop their own interest. Our money/time output was not equal for each child but we gave each what they needed. My husband and I also took into account the added benefits of their activities (what they learned, personality traits built, friends made, etc...) and thought about what we would be willing to spend even if the child decided at some point to give up said activity.

 

The kids did have to make choices at different times on whether they wanted to spend their time/money on A or B because we couldn't do both. For example, dd had to decide a couple years ago if she wanted to study classical music more seriously at a pre-college type program, play in an orchestra closer to home and move to a more serious classical teacher, or spend her time on her trad music. She could not do all those things at the same time but was old enough to help chose.

 

Personally, I never worried about future costs (time or money) but made decisions as they came up. When dd was 4yo, I would have considered what we do now for her music as "crazy" but it build up slowly and things happened (scholarships, dd earning money through performances, etc...) over time to allow us to do things.

 

 

 

 

[4KookieKids]

Thanks for all the advice and opinions! It's helpful to hear from folks who've been there, done that. :)

[Haiku]

DH was REALLY against it because he knows too many families who started at that level and then had to move to travel soccer, which is very expensive, and very time-consuming.  

 

My kids play travel hockey. It's very expensive and very time-consuming. When my 5 year old dd said to me, after taking Snowplow Sam skating lessons, "I want to play hockey!" I had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. If we didn't have two kids playing travel hockey (my ds actually turned out to be an elite-level player), my dh and I could do more home improvement, take more vacations, and generally have more disposable income. Hockey is extremely expensive; ballet is probably similar when you get to the higher levels.

 

That said: No one "has" to move to travel soccer, or travel hockey, or travel anything. It's a choice. Sometimes I'm annoyed that we made the choice to go the travel route, but I recognize that it was completely our choice. I wouldn't, honestly, keep a kid out of an activity for fear that once day it might become expensive. You can say no, we can't afford that.

 

In fact, we have turned down teams for ds that were just way, way too expensive. DD is in her tenth year of hockey; there are limited options for girls around here (she could, of course, play with the boys, but she's very small, and we feel that the checking would be unsafe for her), and we are sorta "stuck" paying for an expensive girls team. On the other hand, she is also a student coach and a ref, so even if we decided we couldn't afford her girls team, there are other options for her to participate in hockey.

 

I'm not picking on you, happypamama, because everyone has to make the right decision for their family. I just used your comment as a springboard.

[Miss Tick]

One thing to watch for in ballet is if there are going to be additional fees. The local pre-professional studio charges a bit more for lessons, but there are no costumes to pay for. The local parks and rec class is a bit cheaper, but requires costumes for the recitals ($$) and then seems to have an endless list of fees, want a video of the recital? Father-daughter dance? More fees.

[Bluegoat]

I would look to the future, and think about what you can afford.  I've had to make decisions about activities a few times, both because of money and time. 

 

I learned my lesson somewhat with my oldest - she was taking music lessons, and dance at a good ballet studio, and of course wanted to carry on with both.  But the studio requires kids to be in two lessons a week once they are about 7, and the only way we could have done that was to ditch music.  And soon enough it would have been three a week, assuming she did not want to also take a jazz or modern or some other elective class.

 

So - it didn't seem sustainable, and TBH most people I know who do ballet serious even through high school don't carry on past that, whereas a lot of adults I know are still involved with music, as amateurs.

 

I've been a little more careful since then, about starting in activities that we might not be able to remain in.  Rather sadly, sports have been affected most, because so many seem to try and get all the kids with any talent or drive into leagues that we can't manage financially or time-wise.  So we have stuck to city rec for them, largely.

 

That being said - my ds6 is enrolled at the serious ballet studio, where he has one more year before he will have to move to two classes a week.  My sense is that he may not be interested in music the same way the girls are, but we'll see. 

[MinivanMom]

When my oldest was quite small (6-ish), she had gotten involved in 3 different activities that could each potentially be very expensive. They weren't expensive at that time because she was just a beginner taking one class a week, but I was looking down the road and starting to stress. So I actually made a spreadsheet going forward until she was 18 to figure out how much each activity would increase in cost over time. And then I multiplied that number by the 4 children we had at that time, and I think I suffered a small heart attack.

 

When dh came home that evening, I showed him my spreadsheet, and he just busted up laughing. He asked me why on earth I was stressing over something that may or may not come to pass. I think his question to me was something along the lines of, "What makes you think dd will ever be good enough to go that far in any of these activities? And how would it even be possible for her to do all 3 activities at this level?" As far as he was concerned, dd was just exploring these activities at a rec level (and we could definitely afford that) so why on earth worry about 10 years from now. I realized he was right and tried not to stress it (though I'm a more long-term planner by nature so I have a hard time not thinking about things like that).

 

Anyway, dd is a teen now. Of those 3 potentially expensive activities, she dropped 1 activity completely at age 8 due to lack of interest. She continues the other 2 activities, but it's not possible to pursue both at a serious level due to the time commitment. So she has chosen to continue 1 activity at a serious level and to continue the other activity at just a rec level. Completely her choice. Of those 3 younger children, 1 is passionate about an activity that's virtually free, 1 has an interest with a moderate cost, and the 3rd has no interest in any activities (we're working on that). So I guess I worried for no reason at all.

 

I will say that I'm glad I let dd explore all those interests and let her make the choice about what to continue and what to drop (within our budget & time constraints). It's left her with no regrets or rosy dreams about what might have been. And I feel no guilt about spending more on her than the other children. They have all been given equal support for their interests in terms of our time and emotional investment. It's okay that dd has a passion that's expensive while ds has a passion that's free. They are both pursuing what they love, and they are both happy.

[mommyoffive]

I am not that much farther on the path than you.  But I am a long term planner and worrier.

 

But I say do what you can with the time and money you are allowed.   I don't get why some people say don't even go into the expensive hobbies.   If it was my passion I would rather have dabbled in it a little than not at all. 

 

Who knows where the rabbit trail will lead after that.  Will she go pro.  Maybe.   Will it be $$$ later on.  Maybe.  

Or maybe it will lead to something else and that foundation will be useful for other things.  

 

I like the creative ideas for affording and doing some things.   Keeping that in the back of my mind too. 

 

 

[redsquirrel]

I felt the same way when ds1 was that age.  I was starting him on piano lessons, which we could hardly afford, and I had no idea what i was getting into. And even though ds2 was a teeny baby at the time, how could I ever afford to have them BOTH in piano lessons some day? I was really in a tizzy.

 

First of all, think about how young your kids are. 4 is very, very young...to young to be making decisions like that. And you can set priorities.  DH and I decided that music education was a priority and we were just going to afford it if it were at all possible and see what happened. To us, music lessons seemed like a good place to spend, even if it meant scrimping in other places.

 

The good thing was that as the kids grew so did DH's earning power, lol. He had just started his job at the entry level when ds1 was a baby and now 16 years later he is earning quite a bit more. But at the time we had no indication or even thought that would happen. So, a lot can happen in the years to come for your entire family.

 

My boys also happen to be ballet dancers and have become quite good. They attend a pre-professional school and my eldest attended a prestigious summer intensive in NY this summer.  Again, we didn't start out with the idea they would do this, it just sort of evolved and we have found the money somehow.  DH has taken on consultant jobs, worked for the ballet school, etc. It is different for boys because we get a generous discount. Right now ds1 is the only boy at his level in the school, so they really don't want to lose him, kwim?  DS2 has two other boys at his level and they are all the best of friends.

 

But, paying for dance was not a priority for us like paying for music was. So sometimes we asked the ballet school to wait for a payment etc and they were always happy to do so. As long as we communicated with them and followed through it was all good. Once we were in, they didn't want to lose us.

 

And at 4 kids come and go from all kinds of things. They dance, they take swimming lessons (another priority/life skill in our family), they take gymnastics, they try martial arts, they do nothing... I don't think it really matters a whole lot until around 8 or 9, and even then many kids never settle down into one or two things they love, and that's also ok

 

I personally think that having a main activity has been great for my kids.  Especially in the teenage years, I am grateful my son has a 'thing'. He doesn't get into too much trouble because he's so busy with ballet. I always know where he is. He is at class or rehearsal. The kids at ballet are all really nice, high achieving kids, the sort I am glad he spends time with. He is very physically active and that is good for him because he's high energy. So many of his peers, specifically the boys isolate with computer games and have become very slothful and isolated. Their parents wish they had some sort of regular activity or sport to spark a passion of ANY kind...aside from computer games, lol. I don't think having a passion for tech etc is bad in any way, but sometimes it's not so much a passion as just mindless playing of games and that is different to me. They almost seem depressed...and maybe some are, but I don't think all of them are. I do think they are zoned out on screen time.

 

Now it doesn't have to be dance, it could be an instrument, or a sport or being in a theater group or a choir, making movies, being a writer, any of these makes a great place for teens to find their tribe. But you do sort of have to start looking around 9 or 10 and sort of settle around 12 or so. It can be more difficult to learn some of this and catch up to peers who started young.  Difficult, but not impossible.

 

And it doesn't have to be expensive classes. DS2 has a friend who is shaping up to be a talented visual artist. He has real discipline and spends time on it every day. He did ask for some online classes, but it wasn't a whole lot of money.

 

And again, there are plenty of teens who don't really do any one thing and are perfectly happy.

[3 ladybugs]

I am not in your boat. My almost 8 year old is into cars, period. He can't drive till he is 18 in this state so I am good for another 10 years. 

 

However, my youngest sibling was in an expensive sport, ice skating. She loved it, everything was going well. My father was doing everything he could to afford it and would continue to do so. She was competing and doing well at it. Then one day, she woke up and decided she didn't want to do it anymore. She had the talent but not the drive. The rest of us were sort of disappointed. We had dreamed of her going to the Olympics and the feature story about her and how she lived the first 3 years of her life with a foster family in China... However she didn't want it and that was that. We needed to get over our dream. 

 

This is my long winded way of saying you never know what the future holds. Your DH could get some amazing raise that would make ballet VERY affordable to you. Your daughter could wake up one day and NEVER want to do ballet again. I don't think you should plan on your daughter loving something all the way till she is 18, when she is 4. I know it probably easier said then done, I am assuming my son will only love cars till he is 18, but he has had the passion for 7 years so it is hard not to. But you never know what tomorrow will bring. Do your best for now and deal with tomorrow when it comes.

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I would not assume your other children will have as expensive of an interest. Sometimes they do, other times they see the amount of time and work a sibling is putting in and want nothing to do with it. Do what you can afford time and money wise this semester or year, and decide what you can afford next semester or year when it is time to sign up for it then. If she maintains the drive for ballet as she gets older and surpasses what you can afford, help her find ways to offset the costs and earn money. As she gets older carpooling with other families can be an option to relieve you of some stress of driving. But honestly you have several years before she is there. 4 year olds in dance are the cutest thing ever, just enjoy it. :)

 

 

My son has had a major shift in interests in the last year. He went from a stupid expensive in both time and money hobby to something that literally costs me nothing. He buys stuff at thrift stores with his own money, takes it apart and rebuilds or modifies it. His last haul he spent under $5 and had to make two trips from the car to his room. He has other interests but this is the current big one.