s/o stories about growing up in a neighborhood with a lot of SAHWs

[ElizabethB]

I will start.

 

I came home from elementary school one day and my mom said, neighbor so and so 12 houses down (who we did not even ever see, and I did not know had our number, mind you) called and said that you were reading a book the entire time you were walking home. Is this true? Me: Well, I stopped to cross the busy streets and only read when on the sides of the residential streets, it was perfectly safe. Mom: Hmm. Well, don't get run over.

 

We had an elderly neighbor who was sat in front of her window all day and knew all the neighbors, who visited them, the makes of their cars, etc. My mom occasionally said, can't that woman get a life, or even watch soaps or something. A few years after she died, I was at College then, our house was burglarized while my parents were out. My mom said, too bad that neighbor died, we either would have not gotten our stuff stolen or they would have caught them because of the neighbors description of them and their car.

 

There was one woman a few blocks down who was often sweeping the street in front of her house. We all thought that was kind of odd, but after living in Germany for 4 years, I understand why she did it, all my German neighbors swept their sidewalks and the street in front of their house.

Edited May 26, 2016 by ElizabethB

[foxbridgeacademy]

I was a "latchkey" kid at 5-6 years old because my parents felt reasonably safe with me being home alone for an hour since the 30 something wife across the street and the two older ladies (they could have been anywhere from 40-60) on either side of our house always watched to make sure I got off the bus and inside the house okay.  Then my sister was born and since my mom made more $$ than my dad he stayed home until my sister was old enough to go to our church's daycare.  We ate a lot of eggs (all my dad could cook) and whatever the little old lady next door made for us that six months (my mom would bring her deer, fish, or turtle meat or fix her car, so it was a fair exchange..... notice I said mom not dad ;) ).  

[ElizabethB]

Oh, yes, I had several frinds who were latchkey kids from a pretty young age. I think most of our parents would be in jail or, at a minumum, CPS trouble today for things they did. I walked by myself crossing a 4 lane street in K, then we moved across town and had only a two lane street with crossing guards by the school. Whenever my mom worries about something I let my kids do, I bring up the walking to school alone in K crossing a 4 lane street argument, works every time. She usually replies, I don't know what we were thinking, and I reply, that was just what was done back then, and all the neighbors were watching out for each other and a lot more people were home and a lot more people were walking to school.

[monstermama]

My current neighborhood was built in the early 70s, and has a lot of the original owners, so basically, a lot of retired folks.  I've come to realize that some of them have a lot of time on their hands.  My favorite is the woman we regularly see on a little stool trimming her front lawn with a pair of scissors.  She has a lawn service, but I guess they don't do an even enough job!

[Guest]

We had a lot of SAHMs in our neighborhood...maybe 50% of the houses had a SAHM or someone retired in them.  My mom was caring for her mother a lot in those days, and so sometimes she would not get back in time to greet us at the door, and we didn't have keys.  But if we had to use the bathroom or something, we just went to the neighbor's.  :0)  Most of the time, MY mom would have some kids playing basketball with her in the front yard, if they got locked out or something.

 

My worst story about a useless SAHM was one who had one of those "helping hands" in the windows--you were supposed to be able to go there if you needed help.  One day I rode my bike home from school and took a nasty spill.  I had scrapes with gravel in them on my hands, elbows, knees and feet.  Bawling my head off, I went to this Helping Hand House.  The lady opened the door, took one look at me, and said, "Oh, honey!  You'd better go HOME!"  :::slam:::  It wasn't that far but couldn't she have called my mom or something???  Good grief.  

 

Mostly, though, we knew all the moms in the neighborhood and could rely on them to feed us or let us use the bathroom if the need was dire.  :0)  

 

My mom worked some, but mostly it was at the school when we were younger and at a job where she had a lot of freedom to come and go as she pleased for our junior high/senior high years.  It was great having her at home...and also that she found a way to earn some money in ways that didn't stress our family very much.  

 

[Pink and Green Mom]

I was busted cutting school one day because the stay at home wife across the street saw my boyfriend's car at the house and promptly notified my mother.

[Penguin]

I grew up with a working mom in a neighborhood full of SAHMs. Not only that, but I was an only child in a neighborhood full of big families. I was a latch key kid at age 8 (that was c. 1972). I felt like an odd duck.

[gardenmom5]

I grew up with a working mom in a neighborhood full of SAHMs. Not only that, but I was an only child in a neighborhood full of big families. I was a latch key kid at age 8 (that was c. 1972). I felt like an odd duck.

 

this was me, except I had older siblings.  my sister was supposed to babysit - she'd rush home to watch dark shadows. 

 

dh had a similar  experience, similar age.  there's a reason I stay home.

[Penguin]

this was me, except I had older siblings. my sister was supposed to babysit - she'd rush home to watch dark shadows.

 

dh had a similar experience, similar age. there's a reason I stay home.

I have the world's best A+ mom, so I am not at all criticizing her. If my mom had not worked, I certainly would not have graduated from college without debt. Maybe I would not have even gone to college. Because she was a career woman in the 1960s and 1970s without a college degree, she made darn sure that I went to college and prepared for self-sufficiency. For that, I am forever grateful. Nevertheless, I chose to stay home as soon as finances permitted it because of my own not-so-great experiences as a latchkey kid/teen. Edited May 26, 2016 by Penguin

[ElizabethB]

We had a new family move in the neighborhood, one child, app 8 years old. He would be dead if my mother had not seen the private schooled kids lay in wait for him to get off the public school bus. The police responded very quickly, before the group had exhausted their horde of rocks. The entire bus system was rearranged as a consequence, both public and private took same bus to each stop. Two of the rock throwers were dead before high school ended...they just ran wild as latch key kids and became wilder when they obtained trucks.

That is sad. There is only so much even concerned neighbors can do, at least they were able to help the 8 year old.

[J-rap]

I was a "latchkey" kid at 5-6 years old because my parents felt reasonably safe with me being home alone for an hour since the 30 something wife across the street and the two older ladies (they could have been anywhere from 40-60) on either side of our house always watched to make sure I got off the bus and inside the house okay.  Then my sister was born and since my mom made more $$ than my dad he stayed home until my sister was old enough to go to our church's daycare.  We ate a lot of eggs (all my dad could cook) and whatever the little old lady next door made for us that six months (my mom would bring her deer, fish, or turtle meat or fix her car, so it was a fair exchange..... notice I said mom not dad ;) ).  

 

I just keep thinking about the "little old lady" next door to you who was between 40-60 years old!  haha  (I guess that's what the little kids next to us must think of me!  ;))

 

I don't know of a single mom who worked in my neighborhood, except my own mother, sneakily though, because no mom did in those days in our neighborhood.  (in the 60's-70's)   She would receive a big packet of court trial recordings once a week, and would type them all up as she listened to the recordings.  That was on an old electric type writer with 6 carbon copies.  Imagine that!  She eventually became a legal secretary.

 

Summertimes were a blast, because we could all run around outside till dark, which was much later in the summer.   All ages were included, all the way from me (at the younger end) to my sister's age -- who was six years older.  There were probably 20+ of us.  We would play big games of hide and seek, freeze tag, prisoner tag, etc.  Once a year we'd put on a neighborhood carnival.  (very amateur of course, but we thought we were so clever!)

 

Actually, my own kids had a similar experience growing up.  It was a smaller group of kids, but they did similar things and there were still lots of moms (and one dad) and retired folks at home all day long.  Our neighborhood has changed a lot though, and it's not like that anymore.

[J-rap]

this was me, except I had older siblings.  my sister was supposed to babysit - she'd rush home to watch dark shadows. 

 

dh had a similar  experience, similar age.  there's a reason I stay home.

 

Oh my gosh -- I remember Dark Shadows!

[gaillardia]

Dark Shadows was a thing at our house. 

 

I would leave our neighborhood and go to my bf's neighborhood where more moms worked. We were naughty and I did that from 6th grade to 9th grade. After that, it didn't matter anyway.

 

My bf's neighbor would call bf's mom and say, usually taking 5 seconds to whine out the name, "Rose, did you know that..." and tattle off anything she'd seen bf or her siblings do that didn't meet with her standards. 

 

 

 

Edited May 26, 2016 by Gaillardia

[SparklyUnicorn]

I have no such stories.  I've always lived in places where nobody knows their neighbors.  I find these stories really interesting.  I thought it was a little sad that neighbors were not friendly, but then again they are also not so nosy.  So it has its pluses as well.

 

 

[Bluegoat]

My neighbourhood had a lot of SAHMs in the 70s.  It was a very defined neighbourhood where we stayed within a clear area, and the kids kind of ran in a gang and used all the houses for toilets and drinks.

 

One incident I remember is when I cut my leg very badly on a pane of glass some jerk had dumped in one of the parking areas.  There was really quite a lot of blood - so much when I got home my dad though my leg had been crushed.  Anyway, I only got a little way home when a mom who was washing dishes say me out her front window and ran out and carried me home.

 

She was actually wearing a house dress and apron.

 

I also used to go for lunch at the house of the lady across the street when my mom was working when I was in school.  She used to give me fried bologna and kraft dinner which I thought was completely amazing.

 

There were some things my mom didn't like about that neighbourhood, it was very working class and had some people who had rather junky lawns which seems to drive her nuts even now, but I know she really liked that there were lots of other women around.  My half-sister was born later in 1988, in a different neighbourhood, and there were no other people at home in the day, and she found being home was far less enjoyable.

[Garga]

When I lived just inside the borders of Baltimore city in a not-nice-at-all neighborhood, the little old lady 2 doors down would stare out her window all day at everyone. We kids thought she was mean, but now that I'm an adult I think she was scared. I think the neighborhood was probably a nice one when she'd moved in 40 years before and it got bad when she was too old to move.

 

About 10 doors down was Miss Lou. Miss Lou had lived there forever as well. We were a little scared of her, too, but we knew she'd have our backs. She wouldn't smile and would say things like, "You kids keeping out of trouble??" "Yes, Miss Lou." And she'd give a curt nod.

 

When a man was on the roofs of the rowhomes, peering into the skylights, she took out her shotgun and fired it at him.

 

When another man was flashing himself to people on the street, she grabbed her broomstick and chased him down the street, beating him about the head with the broomstick handle.

 

And when my parents were moving away, there was a month long gap between when the old house sold and when we could move to the new one. She let us stay in her house in the basement. Her friends wouldn't visit her while we were there because she had let "those white people" in her house.

 

And then when my mom took Miss Lou out to lunch as a thank you for letting us stay there, the restaurant was in a predominantly white area and the wait staff refused to wait on Miss Lou. That poor woman. She did a kind act for us and everyone shunned her.

 

She made the best soup in the world and I told her, "When I grow up, I hope you'll make your soup for my wedding." And when I grew up I called her and asked her if she'd make her soup for my wedding. She did! It was wonderful! But she wouldn't come to the wedding. She said it was because the last few weddings she went to ended in divorce. After that I lost track of her.

 

ETA: She wasn't a SAHW. She was divorced and ran a daycare from her home. She had 3 grown children when I knew her and was in her 50/60s.

Edited May 26, 2016 by Garga

[Bluegoat]

Oh, we also had a thing like a block party (it was a court, actually, with a few group parking areas, a little feild, and a playground and tennis court.) It was in August.

 

The kids would all dress up and decorate their bikes, and go to the parking lot at one end of the court, which was up a little hill.  Then we would ride in a parade all the way to the bottom parking lot which was down a little hill.

 

Then we went to the playground and had a corn boil, and there were games and things, and we ate on the grass.

 

At Christmas there was a Christmas party in a building down the street, and Santa Claus would come and give every kid a gift.

[gaillardia]

I have no such stories.  I've always lived in places where nobody knows their neighbors.  I find these stories really interesting.  I thought it was a little sad that neighbors were not friendly, but then again they are also not so nosy.  So it has its pluses as well.

Sometimes my bf would ride the bus home with me and then we'd walk the mile and a half to her house, stopping at the snacky store along the way. It seemed like most of the homes we passed we KNEW the families that lived there either from our older siblings' associations or from our school. We had to cross a heavily traveled state highway and walk along a very busy road that had no sidewalks and barely a shoulder. We stayed well off the road. Sometimes her brother would give me ride most of the way back home but not all the way because he rode a Harley and my parents would freak. (Later I found out that it was okay to ride his motorcycle because it scared them when I crossed the road at dusk at rush hour).

 

My bf's mom worked evenings so her house was unsupervised from 3 to 6:30. We had fun being unsupervised after being in school for 6-7 hours. LOL

 

Who tells their kids this kind of stuff? My mom told me when I was in 8th grade that the nice church-going, dark complexion family who lived the next street over had a baby with fair skin, blonde hair and blue eyes. Apparently some gossip going around that the nice SAHM had a lover. I was in shock and quite horrified. It was the 1970s. Who does that? 

 

My sister's bf across the street had a mom. Her dad would come and go. "He's a truck driver," they said. No, he wasn't. He was an alcoholic, a womanizer, a gambler and possibly a thief. I didn't really understand these things until I was older. Her mom operated a beauty salon out of the home to support herself. Lots of gossip in the salon of that SAHM.

A few houses up was a family that didn't seem to have a man present too often. We could hear the sahm yelling all the way down at our house. Some of the kids, all boys, seemed a little...slow. Later I found out there was close kin marrying going on in the family. Oh boy, then one day mom dropped the bomb on us. We were related to them distantly. 

Almost all of the moms were SAH when I was in school.

And our neighbor on one side...he did unspeakable things to young children, in the neighborhood, at their church, in cub scouts. That's all I'm going to say about that, except...bastard. Where was the sahw then?

Wow, I lived in a really screwed up neighborhood, middle class. I didn't mention the neighbor on the other side who was a white supremacy leader. Another bastard with a sahm. These neighbors were best of friends by the way.

So, if this is not in line with stories about growing up in neighborhoods with a lot of SAHWs, I will remove my comments.

Please advise.

[KungFuPanda]

My mom stayed home until the youngest went to kindergarten, so by the time we were "latchkey" (not that the door was ever locked) I was a teenager. I liked it. Mom and Dad were home by six, so it was only 2-3 hours without adults. We lived in a hollow with a few 'neighbors' spread out along the way. If you did anything, mom knew long before you could hike back home. It was one of those communities where everyone knew each other for generations and everyone was in everyone's business.

 

My grandmother IS the neighborhood watch. Cops would love her. She knows times and the make and model of the vehicles. She knows who went grocery shopping and who got take-out. She knows if the mailman is 20 minutes late. She moved in with mom two years ago when she turned 90. She now knows more about Mom's neighbors than mom ever found out in 15 years living there.

 

ETA: my current street seems a pretty even mix of retirees, SAHMs, and working moms.

Edited May 26, 2016 by KungFuPanda

[Seasider]

I remember that what made an impression on me was when they started to trickle back into the work force. Several of my neighborhood moms went back for training to become things like surgical technicians and legal assistants. The ones I remember really enjoyed their careers and seemed rejuvenated.

 

Lots of other memories, but that was the most significant. Latchkey kids were nearly nonexistent in my bubble.

[QueenCat]

Growing up, I'd guess 90% of the women were SAHMs until around middle school. It seemed like many would get part time jobs when their youngest was in middle school. In the area where we started having kids, it was probably about 50/50 with those with kids in elementary school or lower, with the numbers of women working going up as the kids got older. We moved when the kids were middle school aged, there it was more like 75/25, with 75% of the women in the neighborhood working, unless they were retired.....

[Minerva]

I was a latchkey kid.

 

I had to walk a long way home from school, and to make the trip a little shorter, I would cut through Mr. and Mrs. Pridem's house. They had figs in their yard and during the season I would eat them without permission. It had never occurred to me that it was stealing until Mr. Pridem caught me, made me come inside the house and admonished me for not asking. I was terrified. After the life lesson,  he and Mrs. Pridem gave me cookies and a bag to carry my figs home in, with strict instructions to stop by anytime. I spent many hours at their house after that eating figs and helping the Pridems in their yard. 

 

We had other neighbors who were always mean and judgy. I later learned that they didn't like having Jews in the neighborhood.  :glare:

[Bluegoat]

Sometimes my bf would ride the bus home with me and then we'd walk the mile and a half to her house, stopping at the snacky store along the way. It seemed like most of the homes we passed we KNEW the families that lived there either from our older siblings' associations or from our school. We had to cross a heavily traveled state highway and walk along a very busy road that had no sidewalks and barely a shoulder. We stayed well off the road. Sometimes her brother would give me ride most of the way back home but not all the way because he rode a Harley and my parents would freak. (Later I found out that it was okay to ride his motorcycle because it scared them when I crossed the road at dusk at rush hour).

 

My bf's mom worked evenings so her house was unsupervised from 3 to 6:30. We had fun being unsupervised after being in school for 6-7 hours. LOL

 

Who tells their kids this kind of stuff? My mom told me when I was in 8th grade that the nice church-going, dark complexion family who lived the next street over had a baby with fair skin, blonde hair and blue eyes. Apparently some gossip going around that the nice SAHM had a lover. I was in shock and quite horrified. It was the 1970s. Who does that? 

 

My sister's bf across the street had a mom. Her dad would come and go. "He's a truck driver," they said. No, he wasn't. He was an alcoholic, a womanizer, a gambler and possibly a thief. I didn't really understand these things until I was older. Her mom operated a beauty salon out of the home to support herself. Lots of gossip in the salon of that SAHM.

A few houses up was a family that didn't seem to have a man present too often. We could hear the sahm yelling all the way down at our house. Some of the kids, all boys, seemed a little...slow. Later I found out there was close kin marrying going on in the family. Oh boy, then one day mom dropped the bomb on us. We were related to them distantly. 

Almost all of the moms were SAH when I was in school.

And our neighbor on one side...he did unspeakable things to young children, in the neighborhood, at their church, in cub scouts. That's all I'm going to say about that, except...bastard. Where was the sahw then?

Wow, I lived in a really screwed up neighborhood, middle class. I didn't mention the neighbor on the other side who was a white supremacy leader. Another bastard with a sahm. These neighbors were best of friends by the way.

So, if this is not in line with stories about growing up in neighborhoods with a lot of SAHWs, I will remove my comments.

Please advise.

 

I guess stuff went on in every neighbourhood, some people abused, or stepping out, and so on.  In mine, which I quite liked, one of my best friends was born out of wedlock, and he was mixed race (which weirdly I did not figure out until I actually met his dad, even though it was perfectly obvious.  I later learned from a gossipy person that his dad was married to someone else but kept it a secret from the mom when they were involved.

 

We also had a pedophile who lived next door, his wife was at home, but I am 99% sure she had no idea about him. 

[Amber in SJ]

I grew up in one of those little towns where almost all the moms stayed home & kids ran in packs all Summer long.  We rode our bikes down to the creek to catch polliwogs and went to the closest house to use the bathroom.  We rode our bikes in a pack to the library, to the movie theater & to the parks.  If some one was misbehaving someone who knew you from church or scouts or something would have no problem coming out & scolding you.  My mom spent an entire Summer reading Peter Pan to the neighborhood kids on the porch in the evenings.  

 

One of the neighbors on our cul-de-sac is raising her autistic grandson & granddaughter.  On the very few times that she is not home to meet the bus she calls me & I meet the bus & take them to my house or we sit on the steps of their house until she gets home.  I am so glad that I am home to be able to do this.

 

We have a friend who is an FBI agent who specializes in cyber crimes against children.  He has a terrible time letting his kids walk the three blocks home from school.  His son really wanted to walk home in the 6th grade, so our friend set up a network of SAHMs in the neighborhood along the route who will text to say the son had passed their house and was safe.  I have to smile because this dad's protective instincts are always on high alert because of the horrifying things he sees at work, but he is also trying to let his kids live as normal a life as possible.

 

Amber in SJ

[Kalmia]

 My mom spent an entire Summer reading Peter Pan to the neighborhood kids on the porch in the evenings.  

 

 

Amber in SJ

 

This just brings up the most lovely image. What a sweet thing for your mom to do.

[gardenmom5]

I have the world's best A+ mom, so I am not at all criticizing her. If my mom had not worked, I certainly would not have graduated from college without debt. Maybe I would not have even gone to college. Because she was a career woman in the 1960s and 1970s without a college degree, she made darn sure that I went to college and prepared for self-sufficiency. For that, I am forever grateful. Nevertheless, I chose to stay home as soon as finances permitted it because of my own not-so-great experiences as a latchkey kid/teen.

 

as I grew to adulthood - I was able to see the things she did right.  my mother made a number of very poor choices.  in some ways, her working exacerbated her weaknesses.  but I also realized how many of those were could be traced to her own mother.  (who, among other things, valued $$$ over people.  even as a child I remember thinking - if you love me, give me your time.  but for her, she equated love with $$$.)

[lllll]

All but one of the moms in our neighborhood stayed home.  One neighbor worked as a nurse, but that was it.  

 

I wish they had been like some of these moms y'all are describing, but they weren't.  I always thought it was because we were all transplants from all over the country and the adults avoided each other more than anything else.

 

We kids did spend a lot of time outdoors though, riding bikes, playing Kick-the-Can, softball in the dead end, catching fireflies, among other things.  It was the 60's when kids still did stuff like that.  We also got into a good bit of trouble, unfortunately because we had SO much free time on our hands - all summer long, and those summers began at Memorial Day and lasted until after Labor Day.  That was one of the many motivations I had to homeschool my kids.  All that wasted time.  My parents could have allowed us to do all the fun stuff and STILL have had plenty of time to read books to us, encourage us to read and do other constructive things.

 

The neighborhoods dh and I have lived in over the years have varied.  The more affluent the neighborhood, the fewer the moms staying home.  I actually liked those.  They were ghost neighborhoods during the day and dc and I could wander around and enjoy the quiet.  The neighborhood where I live now is like that.  

 

The second best neighborhood dh and I lived in was a trailer park in the woods outside Chapel Hill when we were in college.  Mostly working folks, kids ran loose, and my ds played with lots of them.  They would come over to our trailer and wander around the park after school until their parents came home.  (The best was, of course, out in the woods with only the wildlife for neighbors.   :))    

 

 

 

 

 

   

Edited May 28, 2016 by _ ?^..