If your kids don't have real pajamas/ wear thrift store clothes

[SKL]

Now that I think about it, right now my kid insists on wearing a certain nightie to bed every night.  It is a hand-me-down from a middle-aged lady, and I think that is why she likes it so much.  Seriously!

 

I too have some very old thrift store clothes that I wear happily, to church or to work.  Nor would I be ashamed to tell anyone I was lucky enough to find them at the thrift store.

 

Even if I buy something new, it's "used" as soon as I've washed it once, so what's the difference?

I'm very glad I've never lived in a place where people (generally) have an attitude about that.  There was a little of that flavor when I was in grad school (well-off young adults from all over brought their local attitudes), but I just thought they were ignorant.  :p

Edited April 24, 2016 by SKL

[SKL]

Well, in full disclosure, when I was a kid 40 years ago, I did sometimes get picked on for my clothing choices.  However, at certain ages, kids are going to find something to pick about, just to see the other person's reaction.  Maybe clothes are an easy thing to pick on.

Edited April 24, 2016 by SKL

[Guest]

When I went to sleepovers as a child, all of the other kids had pajamas or nice nightgowns and things like "robes" and "slippers". I had oversized t-shirts passed down from my much older brother. Was that a big problem? No. Did I mind it? Yup.

 

We buy most things we have used. Peering around the living room room, the only things I am seeing that we bought new are:

 

-some of our CDs (most were bought used)

-some of our books (most were bought used)

-an electric pencil sharpener.

-a painting that we love.

-some picture frames.

-the eyeglasses on my face.

-some yarn my younger son uses for crocheting (part of Oak Meadow curriculum).

 

This is in a room with a sectional, a desk, a piano, a TV, a DVD player, a stereo, an iMac, a sewing machine, two violins, a cello, several guitars, a couple of abandoned comforters the kids need to pick up and a very nice armchair and ottoman.

 

Most of our clothes are used. My husband probably has the most new clothing but that's because his pant size is tricky to find period, much less used.

 

But yes, my kids get new pajamas at least once a year when they go on sale (they have a favorite kind), nice shoes from good brands and all the new socks and underpants they need. I also buy my older son his favorite kind of lined hoodie everytime he busts through another size because you just don't argue when your child with ASD finds a "coat" they will actually wear, lol.

 

I agree with Andrea- it wasn't until high school that my thrifted clothing was hip. I think it was grunge culture that did that here in Seattle and it was grunge culture that suddenly made me cool because from ages 13-16, I lived near a cheap vintage store and the owner would save shit for me all the time and as such get a bit of my babysitting money.

 

I don't think that not wearing PJs is a sign of poverty. I do think that not having the choice about what you can afford for your kids to have for pjs or shoes is a sign of, depending on the circumstances, financial limitations or poverty.

I think this would make an interesting exercise, and spin-off.

 

Right at the moment, I am sitting at my dining room table. The table and chair DH and I bought from a lady who was moving into a retirement home. We have had it for twenty years; she had it for decades prior. In our early marriage it bothered me some because the wood is dark cherry; that was not in style in the 90's. But now it is back in style. Not that it matters.

 

I see the small accent table my sister gave me. It was an antique when she gave it to me; I am not sure where it came from. There are two sconces on the wall I got for $9 at Goodwill. But they are outfitted with new candles I bought to match the room. There is a painting I bought new from Art.com. And new curtains. But a basket I wove myself that hold my cloth napkins, which are mostly hand-made by my mom. Salt and pepper shaker - wedding gifts. A hug slice of log trivet DH made for me. And a decorative wine case I bought while visiting a friend in CT.

 

Wearing clothes I bought new, except a cami I got from ThredUp.

[VeteranMom]

My kids got a new pair of pajamas at Christmas.  Most of their clothes, though, come from the thrift stores.  My boys usually sleep in t-shirts and pajama bottoms.  My daughter gets her pajamas at Goodwill.  

My boys don't care where their clothes come from.  My oldest son likes to have input on what he wears, but isn't terribly picky.  When my daughter needs some clothes, she looks through the racks at Goodwill or ARC.  She's 14 and looks really cute in whatever she picks out.  I don't think people can tell she shops at thrift stores.  We have a store around here called "Plato's Closet".  It's a re-sale shop and she shops there, too.  I don't think used clothing has the same stigma it did when I was a kid.  

Is it a sign of poverty?  I don't think so.  I think it's smart.  It's not unusual to see very nice cars in the thrift store parking lots.  Do I shop at thrift stores out of necessity?  Yes and no.  We could shop for only new things, but my kids would have a much smaller wardrobe and would be walking around with new Target brand sandals instead of wonderful condition used Keens.    

[maize]

If I were sending a child to a sleepover I would try to make sure they had something that wouldn't stand out among their peers.

 

But my kids don't do sleepovers ;)

 

My oldest notices and cares about clothing for social situations, and I do my best to accommodate her. Fortunately her primary social activities are dance and tumbling and the clothing is pretty prescribed for both! 

 

 

[Tsuga]

ime means in my experience. Not "in my imagination." Not, "in someone else's experience."

 

I did not say very poor people don't worry about their clothes. I said very poor people in my experience, when they grow up, are likely to be grateful in hindsight for having had clean clothes, wherever they came from.

 

That's not what you said and it's not what I replied to:

 

 

 

On the other hand, ime when you grow up very poor, you appreciate having had clothes that are clean at all. So. Lack of official pj's and the fact that your perfectly good clothes came from the goodwill is way down on the list of things that are likely to bug you.

 

"IME when YOU" implies a generalization from your experience to a common experience.

 

Maybe it's your use of tenses, but "when you grow up very poor, you appreciate" is not at all the same as, "those who grew up very poor later appreciate".

 

If you had phrased it the latter way, I'd still disagree because I think that most of us from all walks of life realize how fortunate we are once we are adults, and it doesn't take poverty to make one realize that they were fortunate to have food and clothes, because we can see how the extremely poor live.

 

However for small children, growing up and forming their ideas about what it means to be doing well, the world is their family, their school, their church, their scout troop. And they aren't developing that sense in hindsight but at the moment.

[Tsuga]

 

 

It's not unusual to see very nice cars in the thrift store parking lots.

 

It's also not unusual to see very nice cars in apartment complex parking lots! Which always blows my mind, given how much the payment is on some of those things, plus the higher insurance. It is literally the difference between rent and a mortgage. I get wanting a nice car (I want a nice car, heh) but I have learned not to associate "nice car" with "lots of money" either. It's a choice of how you spend your money, for sure.

[Guest]

That's not what you said and it's not what I replied to:

 

 

"IME when YOU" implies a generalization from your experience to a common experience.

 

Maybe it's your use of tenses, but "when you grow up very poor, you appreciate" is not at all the same as, "those who grew up very poor later appreciate".

 

If you had phrased it the latter way, I'd still disagree because I think that most of us from all walks of life realize how fortunate we are once we are adults, and it doesn't take poverty to make one realize that they were fortunate to have food and clothes, because we can see how the extremely poor live.

 

However for small children, growing up and forming their ideas about what it means to be doing well, the world is their family, their school, their church, their scout troop. And they aren't developing that sense in hindsight but at the moment.

Thanks for continuing to spell out how you disagree with me about stuff i didnt say.

[SparklyUnicorn]

That's not what you said and it's not what I replied to:

 

 

"IME when YOU" implies a generalization from your experience to a common experience.

 

Maybe it's your use of tenses, but "when you grow up very poor, you appreciate" is not at all the same as, "those who grew up very poor later appreciate".

 

If you had phrased it the latter way, I'd still disagree because I think that most of us from all walks of life realize how fortunate we are once we are adults, and it doesn't take poverty to make one realize that they were fortunate to have food and clothes, because we can see how the extremely poor live.

 

However for small children, growing up and forming their ideas about what it means to be doing well, the world is their family, their school, their church, their scout troop. And they aren't developing that sense in hindsight but at the moment.

 

Well and saying "poor" is not that specific.  That can be anything from compared to everyone in the ritzy area I lived I was poor because I couldn't afford designer clothing or healthier food to I lived under a bridge in a cardboard box.  Had I lived in a cardboard box I probably would understand appreciating clean clothing.  I did not live that way though.  I lived in an area where appearances are a big deal.  Where people are judgy and mean about stuff that should not matter.  I may be ok with understanding that now as an adult, but as a kid no it wasn't much appreciated exactly.  People would literally beat people up or do other cruel things to them if they didn't have the right clothing.  What is to appreciate?  KWIM? 

 

So there are different POVs for sure.

[clementine]

When it's time for clothes shopping with my two teen girls they choose Goidwill first, consignment store second, clearance rack at the mall third, and full-price or less on-sale fourth. They have learned how far you can stretch your dollars!!

 

We are not poor....just smart spenders.

Edited April 24, 2016 by clementine

[Emba]

My kids have pajamas, bought new.  Two of three children prefer wearing either underwear or an assortment of adult-size tee shirts to bed.  I like my kids to have warm winter PJ's and "real" PJ's for times when they will be at someone's house or summer camp, though. 

 

I don't remember having angst over pajamas as a kid, but definitely had a thrift-store clothing hangup.  WHen I got old enough to work for my money, I started shopping in consignment stores.  My money went further than buying new, but I wasn't subjected to decades out of style clothing that my mom would pick.  It was an eye opener for me that when I could actually buy my own clothes new, it didn't actually make me cooler.  I just didn't have a good sense of style. :)

 

What was a big trauma for me was patched pants, which I was made fun of for.  I still buy a lot of my kids' clothes at thrift stores because it just makes more sense to me, and we wear lot of hand-me-downs, but I don't make them wear patched jeans in public.  I do sometimes patch play pants to make them last longer.

[Emba]

I do think a lot of the difference is choice.  When I saved a bunch of money of school stuff last year by buying secondhand, I bought my son a cool lunchbox he really liked.  I told him "See, we didn't spend that money on jeans and now we've got enough to buy this."  I could have bought new clothes without straining the budget. When I was a kid, we barely had the money for used clothes, much less a fancy new lunchbox, no matter how much we'd saved by buying used.

[SKL]

I'm time poor.  I can't afford to shop at a bunch of stores to look for the cheapest price.  I think it works out about the same though.  Less impulse shopping, less opportunity for the kids to feel like they "must have" something they don't need ....

[SKL]

My kids have had one sleep-over (a scout event).  I had them shower right before the event and stay in the same clothes until we went home the next day.  I guess I probably ruined their lives without even knowing it.  (But, I did bring toothbrushes and toothpaste, so that's something, right?)  :P

[Lang Syne Boardie]

My boys had pajamas when they were little. I was frugal and bought on sale, belonged to a nice hand-me-down circle, and sewed nightshirts and flannel caps for several winters when I couldn't find a good deal. But that's when I was dressing them all. I don't tell tweens and teens what to wear to bed, only to change out of their daytime clothes and then to get dressed in the morning.

 

As far as whether we look poor, well, we probably do. My husband and I have a hard time affording clothes so we look somewhat raggedy. We have something suitable for funerals, weddings, and church, but otherwise we just make do. I buy my clothes on sale at Walmart or Meijer and he dresses entirely (except socks and underwear) from Goodwill. We live in a lower-income area so we're not the only raggedy people, which helps. We don't stand out.

 

Our boys look as if their clothes come from Goodwill and Meijer, which they do. They don't have extensive wardrobes, either, or more than two pairs of shoes each (one athletic, one nicer for church). They truly do not care, as long as they can approximate whatever's appropriate for their various activities and events.

 

I think we would live this way even if we had a larger budget for clothing, because the sweatshop aspect of America's disposable wardrobe bothers us tremendously. We never do get over it. Buying only what we need, in the first place, and buying used when possible, alleviates some of the guilt and responsibility.  We are crackpots over lots and lots of social justice issues, not this one, and homeschooling truly is one of our ways to accommodate our own ideals without the annoyance of other people's opinions. It's also the reason we deliberately bought a house on the poorer side of town. I didn't want to raise my children to think that a consumerist and vain life is normal. I didn't want them to prioritize those things while entirely failing to see their neighbors in need.

 

Now, I did grow up "too" poor. I was inadequately fed and inadequately clothed. If any of my children actually felt under-dressed or were the victims of bullying or ostracizing, I would bend my ideals for them because their comfort and happiness is even more important. As long as they're happy to wear what we can provide, and they agree with our reasons for a minimal wardrobe that is mostly used, we really don't care what anyone else thinks. Actually, if people think there's something wrong with a frugal, clean and mended wardrobe that is appropriate for the occasion, just because it's not stylish (or heaven forbid, you wore it last week), then I don't even really want to know them. I don't have time for people like that.

[LucyStoner]

I did not say very poor people don't worry about their clothes. I said very poor people in my experience, when they grow up, are likely to be grateful in hindsight for having had clean clothes, wherever they came from.

I guess we were poorer than very poor because gratitude is not the emotion I feel when looking back at the fugly and sometimes just foul cast offs available to me at clothing banks. We didn't have a W/D most of the time and not infrequently did not have laundry money. So it really wasn't uncommon for us to go to school in clothes that got washed by hand a little as possible over crunchy air dried underpants. We learned to wash our underwear in the tub or sink before going to bed and let it dry overnight. While not the only reason I started working at age 12, the ability to buy myself and my little brother clothes was a fairly important reason. It was nice to have clothing I wanted rather than stuff I got landed with. I am grateful that my mom did what she could for us. I am grateful for my little brother. I am grateful for my friends who never said word about the obvious disparity in our standards of living. I am not grateful for the times I got on the school bus with my airdried jeans still 1/2 wet. Clearly I have no issue with used clothes but seriously, sometimes the value of wearing something you love, that fits you and you picked out brand spanking new is a bliss beyond description for both my brother and me.

 

ETA- I remember I once had this thin black cotton dress with a fairly garish floral print. It had come out of a box at the clothing bank. It was somewhat nice, considering the source. Anyways, I wore that dress for every dressy occasion (church stuff, school events etc) for two years. At first it was too big and then it was too small/tight. Then my grandpa and grandma sent us money for new Easter clothes. I was sooooo relieved to don that new dress that Easter and mind you, I was a tomboy who didn't even like dresses that much. But it was new. And I had picked it. And it fit me. And it was mine. I felt like I was walking on clouds that Easter.

Edited April 24, 2016 by LucyStoner

[eternalsummer]

 

I think we would live this way even if we had a larger budget for clothing, because the sweatshop aspect of America's disposable wardrobe bothers us tremendously. We never do get over it. Buying only what we need, in the first place, and buying used when possible, alleviates some of the guilt and responsibility.  We are crackpots over lots and lots of social justice issues, not this one, and homeschooling truly is one of our ways to accommodate our own ideals without the annoyance of other people's opinions. It's also the reason we deliberately bought a house on the poorer side of town. I didn't want to raise my children to think that a consumerist and vain life is normal. I didn't want them to prioritize those things while entirely failing to see their neighbors in need.

 

 

 

I agree in some ways; however, the clothes you buy at goodwill are also produced in sweatshops.  The reason they are for sale cheap at goodwill is because people are able to buy them cheaply in the first place (and replace them easily) both because they are produced with very cheap labor and because first world companies make money (and thus give it to their employees) off of the cheap labor of third world people.

 

I think this is a pretty natural part of human development and is not necessarily immoral as such, but I did stop feeling so holier-than-thou about my thrift store buying when I realized where A. our money was coming from (in our case, other American consumers who have money because of the success American companies have had in using cheap labor) and B. where the clothes at the thrift store were coming from in the first place.

[eternalsummer]

I had this crazy notion as a kid that in order not to be poor, you could only wear something once every two weeks.  So If I wore a shirt on the 5th, if I weren't poor, I couldn't wear it again until the 19th.  I am pretty sure I got this idea from a Sweet Valley High book that I read around age 9/10 - there's a rich girl and she's saying something like, "I can't wear that, I just wore it last week!"

 

Anyway it was a huge part of my clothing consideration when I was a preteen and young teenager.  

 

Kids get weird ideas sometimes.  It may or may not have anything to do with reality; you cold say I was traumatized by not always having 2 full weeks worth of shirts I liked to wear, but really I just had a weird idea I'd picked up somewhere and taken as gospel truth.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I agree in some ways; however, the clothes you buy at goodwill are also produced in sweatshops.  The reason they are for sale cheap at goodwill is because people are able to buy them cheaply in the first place (and replace them easily) both because they are produced with very cheap labor and because first world companies make money (and thus give it to their employees) off of the cheap labor of third world people.

 

I think this is a pretty natural part of human development and is not necessarily immoral as such, but I did stop feeling so holier-than-thou about my thrift store buying when I realized where A. our money was coming from (in our case, other American consumers who have money because of the success American companies have had in using cheap labor) and B. where the clothes at the thrift store were coming from in the first place.

 

Everybody knows that the castoff clothing at Goodwill and yard sales was also produced in sweatshops. I don't think it's possible that any person could not know that. The point is that the original purchase has already been made; after the original purchaser loses interest in the garment (or no longer needs it), the only future destinations are a landfill or some other human's back. Better for someone else to piggyback on that acquisition. Also, every used garment is one less new garment providing the demand.

 

DH's workboots and coats are made in the USA. As for the rest of what we wear, we have to get clothing somewhere so we go minimal and buy used. The only thing we could do more would be to go naked. I'm not going to apologize or accept a holier-than-thou label for trying to do what I can while still being unable to do MORE than I can.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I had this crazy notion as a kid that in order not to be poor, you could only wear something once every two weeks.  So If I wore a shirt on the 5th, if I weren't poor, I couldn't wear it again until the 19th.  I am pretty sure I got this idea from a Sweet Valley High book that I read around age 9/10 - there's a rich girl and she's saying something like, "I can't wear that, I just wore it last week!"

 

Anyway it was a huge part of my clothing consideration when I was a preteen and young teenager.  

 

Kids get weird ideas sometimes.  It may or may not have anything to do with reality; you cold say I was traumatized by not always having 2 full weeks worth of shirts I liked to wear, but really I just had a weird idea I'd picked up somewhere and taken as gospel truth.

 

Oddly I used to have a similar belief, but I don't know where that belief came from.  Which part of the country are you from?

[eternalsummer]

I lived in TX until 10 and then MO until last year; in MO (where I had more clothes anxiety) I lived in a middle/upper-middle class bedroom community suburb of KC, where many things were more homogeneous than I'd been used to in TX (where I lived more in either small towns or cities, less suburbs).  Clothes were definitely one of those things.

[Murphy101]

All of us sleep in comfy shorts/sweatpants and tshirts.

 

The younger ones have a few official pajamas, but after about age 8ish, the characters don't appeal more than the comfort factor anymore.

 

I have no idea if it's a poor folk thing or not.

[SKL]

As a kid, most of my clothes came from the Salvation Army, and that never bothered me.  I remember being thrilled when we'd go there on 50c day and find actual jeans.  (I never owned new jeans until college.)  If you shop on 50c day you can have a pile of clothes; if you have to shop at the department store, you might come away with 1 outfit that isn't even that stylish.  The Salvation Army was the bomb.

 

Yes, there were groups in school who would not deign to associate with people who weren't wearing the latest styles etc.  I didn't care to associate with them either.  There were enough people who were down-to-earth / looked beyond what one was wearing.

[Katy]

We always buy new pajamas for Christmas and Birthdays, usually the cotton jersey ones. I don't think I've seen pajama sets at a thrift store.

 

The best dressed woman I've ever known bought most of her stuff through thrift stores and ebay.  This was right out of college and we both worked for the same place. She made $30k, but dressed like a millionaire. She won best-dressed in high school.  I'm sure it helped that her dad was an investment banker, but her mom raised her to buy most things used.  After asking for style tips, she frowned at my acrylic sweater from Old Navy and gently pointed out that for the $300 I'd just spent on a closet full of crap from stores like Old Navy and Forever 21 I could have bought a few new high-quality things from a department store that would last 5 years or a used but gorgeous Chanel lambswool sweater from eBay that would last forever.  She was a big believer that no labels should show, that you should have only three neutrals and two bright colors in your closet so that everything mixed and matched, and that the difference between high fashion brands and low end brands is fabric quality, and that the sheen of an expensive fabric really couldn't be faked.  She also had $600 black leather boots that she wore every single day in the winter.

 

I still buy jersey sundresses to wear at home from Old Navy, because when I'm likely to get stains frequently, I don't want to deal with the guilt of ruining anything expensive, and I never think to go grab an apron before doing anything messy.  I am trying to get more into a capsule wardrobe as the kids get older though.

 

We've had a great deal of fun shopping estate sales while we lived in Oklahoma, though the thrift stores are much worse there. It's pretty common to find stained shirts from low end brands that are more expensive than buying new from Walmart in OK. 

 

In parts of the midwest we loved thrift store shopping.  We found a goodwill in a richer suburb once that routinely had several very expensive outfits that were perfectly tailored to DH's obscure size. We bought all of them, usually for $2 each.  He still has more clothes than me, and that was years ago.  I've also bought furniture to reupholster or refinish, lead crystal vases and decanters, art, solid brass lamps, and longaburger baskets for pennies on the dollar at thrift stores. Once the labels are removed no one could look at any of it and think it was thrifted.  We even once pulled up to a goodwill donation center where a family was trying to donate a solid cherry desk that Goodwill refused, "Because it's in too rough of condition and we have too much furniture now."  They gave it to us for free, and once it was refinished and the pulls replaced with pretty ones from Hobby Lobby, it's now a loved item in our house.

[shawthorne44]

I had this crazy notion as a kid that in order not to be poor, you could only wear something once every two weeks.  So If I wore a shirt on the 5th, if I weren't poor, I couldn't wear it again until the 19th.  I am pretty sure I got this idea from a Sweet Valley High book that I read around age 9/10 - there's a rich girl and she's saying something like, "I can't wear that, I just wore it last week!"

 

Anyway it was a huge part of my clothing consideration when I was a preteen and young teenager.  

 

Kids get weird ideas sometimes.  It may or may not have anything to do with reality; you cold say I was traumatized by not always having 2 full weeks worth of shirts I liked to wear, but really I just had a weird idea I'd picked up somewhere and taken as gospel truth.

 

When I was a teenager, the daughter my age of a guy that worked with my dad actually kept a journal of her outfits so that she never wore the same outfit twice in an entire school year.  

 

Many of the people my dad worked with would fall into the Middle Class shame discussed in that thread.  Where they had debt but looked wealthy.  

[Guest]

BTW Tsuga, I grew up in Orange County (since age 7... left California at 21) poor too. I wish I knew you! I was very harshly made fun of for sure. And I have carried that outsider feeling with me to this day. I think the alienation of being a child from a poor single parent household in Orange County is not for the faint of heart. I had a couple of friends in similar situations but we were not the norm and boy did we feel it. 

 

 

I wonder if your CA experience was actually an Orange Co experience. I grew in Central Coast CA and was poor, but everyone I knew, rich or poor shopped at thrift stores. It wasn't/isn't a mark of poverty. It's almost a trendy thing to do. 

 

As for pajamas. I never thought about it. 

 

Well, you guys should have been my friends, because our "circle" didn't show any of this disdain that I'm reading here. So, definitely not all O.C. people. :) Maybe our group of friends was just a little more down to earth than most, but I don't remember ever having been teased for not wearing name brand clothes. When my husband and I go back and visit where we grew up, we do tend to roll our eyes; I think things have gotten worse, though. We definitely grew up with money, but we spent our money on our horses rather than our clothes, lol. I am, to this day, still not into clothes and luckily I think my kids have inherited that. My dd has gotten so many hand me downs, and yet she cycles about 3 outfits. All with dogs on the shirts. Her pajamas could probably be mistaken as coming from a thrift store because she never matches the tops and bottoms. My son, while having a full drawer of pajamas, wears the same thing every.single.night. Athletic shorts and a minecraft shirt. Our Goodwill does have pretty nice clothes, too. I don't shop there often because I don't have the patience, but last time I went there, I got my son a ton of nice surf shirts. Which of course, he doesn't even wear. My kids are funny, I guess we're not normal.

[Murphy101]

Me either! The idea totally squicks me out. I love putting my little girl in clean jammies after her bath at the end of the day.

Wait, what? I'm not keeping up on this thread very well.

 

My kids always go to bed clean and in clean whatever they are wearing.

 

Regardless of what we define clean standards as, people with allergies often find it is very not smart to sleep with hair and clothing full of the stuff they are allergic to, like pollen, grass and more. A shower and clean clothing is a must to not waking up feeling like they are going to puke in my house. Even then when it's really bad, that might not help.

 

Sleeping in tshirts and shorts/sweatpants doesn't mean sleeping in dirty clothing.

 

And whether they continue to wear those clothes the day depends. When mine were little they often did bc if I wanted the van, I had to get everyone up, dressed, fed and in the van by 6-6:30am and having them already dressed and something dry to eat in the van was a huge help.

 

Some of my kids are major night sweat kind of sleepers. Especially once puberty hits for the boys. They often become two showers a day type guys at that point. Wash of the day's dirt before dinner/bed, wash of the sleep sweat in the morning. Sometimes my dh is the same way. Lots of men are. They don't get back into the same clothes after their showers.

[Murphy101]

Kids can be vicious little demon spawn at times and they pick on each other.

 

I don't like it, but I see no evidence that wearing popular clothing makes a dang bit of difference. They'll just be mean about something else. Or mean about how the kid is trying to fit in or their hair or their eyes or or or.

 

I don't want my children to look like street orphans of course, but I don't pay any attention to brands and I won't pay extra for it unless there's some more compelling reason than "all the cool kids have it".

 

There's a lot of places here where I see new vehicles that cost more than my first house did parked in front of run down trailers and low income housing apartments. I don't get why. I don't have an issue with the housing so much as if I had the monthly month to buy that vehicle, buying that vehicle is not what I'd do with it. But even if I won't the lotto, I doubt I'd be able to stomach buying a 50-70k vehicle. It makes me queasy just thinking about it. Lol

Edited April 25, 2016 by Murphy101

[The Governess]

I buy my kids each a nice pair of pajamas to open and wear on Christmas Eve.

 

I'll also buy them inexpensive pajama pants/shorts here and there. They like to wear them with tank tops or older t-shirts to bed.

 

Yes, they have robes and slippers. They wear them every morning if it's cool in the house.

 

Their pajamas probably get as many hours of wear each week as their regular clothes, and are comparatively cheaper and easier to care for. I've never thought of them as a luxury item since I can usually find them on sale for $5 per piece....

[MercyA]

Sleeping in tshirts and shorts/sweatpants doesn't mean sleeping in dirty clothing.

 

I agree, of course. I had the impression (rightly or wrongly) that some posters' kids go to bed in whatever they were wearing out and about that day. To each their own, but I wouldn't be comfortable with that.

Edited April 25, 2016 by MercyA

[SKL]

I agree, of course. I had the impression (rightly or wrongly) that some posters' kids go to bed in whatever they were wearing out and about that day. To each their own, but I wouldn't be comfortable with that.

 

Yes, or at some ages, whatever they are going to wear tomorrow.  :)

 

I guess I worry less than average about how sanitary my kids' bedsheets are.

 

Of course if there is visible dirt, ... but usually there isn't.  They change out of sports clothes as soon as sports are finished.

[BlsdMama]

So I feel very out of touch -- how do people know if something someone is wearing is from a thrift store? I would not have the first clue. I mean, I know if someone looks trendy or put together, but I'd have no idea where someone, trendy or not, bought their clothes.

 

 

Honestly?  If they are middle income and dress nicely, lol.

 

Goodwills in Oregon ruined me for buying new.  Four years out there with truly awesome consignment and thrift stores - I started to really feel the difference in qualities of fabrics - how it feels, how it wears, how it hangs.  I really miss my ability to, on rare occasion, find Pendleton sweaters.  

The Midwest doesn't have quite the same mindset, though they are more thrifty than "reuse, recyle" as a trend so they are more likely to donate or resell.  However, those who spend more or less likely to resell or have a garage sale - they just donate.  Granted, I have to look much harder here vs. Oregon, but I smiled the other day about the cost of Coldwater Creek and Talbots... I found 3-4 lovely shirts last summer from Talbots at Goodwill, one really lovely short sleeve sweater top with tags still on it. Bonus points if it's half off the color tag. ;)

 

I cannot fathom what our family would spend in clothes if we bought all new, let alone if I shopped Wal-Mart.  Their t-shirts, etc., just don't wear the same - too thin, hang loose, tend to stretch  and not regain their shape.  I joke with my oldest daughter that Goodwill has forever ruined me for cheap clothing.   I now shop through Goodwill more with my hands, not my eyes -  I feel for fabric weight, gauge, shape, texture first, then look with my eyes second.  

 

On pajamas  - pajamas are a Christmas eve tradition - they always have winter jammies.  Plus we live in cold winters, so we have flannel sheets too.  As for summer jammies, they are usually knit shorts and a t-shirt or  tank because it gets hot here.  Poly pajamas (so you don't start on fire apparently) are hotter than cotton tank tops and loose shorts.  So they have them most of the time, but they aren't the preference.

 

ETA: And they MUST change clothes before bed.  We live out in the country and when the weather is nice they are dirty from head to toe from playing outside all day.  I feel negligent for not bathing them nightly but it just isn't feasible.  

Edited April 26, 2016 by BlsdMama

[Guest]

Everybody knows that the castoff clothing at Goodwill and yard sales was also produced in sweatshops. I don't think it's possible that any person could not know that. The point is that the original purchase has already been made; after the original purchaser loses interest in the garment (or no longer needs it), the only future destinations are a landfill or some other human's back. Better for someone else to piggyback on that acquisition. Also, every used garment is one less new garment providing the demand.

 

DH's workboots and coats are made in the USA. As for the rest of what we wear, we have to get clothing somewhere so we go minimal and buy used. The only thing we could do more would be to go naked. I'm not going to apologize or accept a holier-than-thou label for trying to do what I can while still being unable to do MORE than I can.

Yes, exactly this.

 

Many or most clothing in the USA is given up with a long, long usable life left. Many people release clothes because they don't fit or they are just plain tired of that shirt. I know people who seemingly never wear a shirt or outfit twice - for real. I wear things I like for several years, but my SIL seems to perpetually wear things I have never seen before. And then I never see them again!

[EMS83]

How are we defining pajamas here??  Some people sleep nude, you know.  :)

 

My kids wear flannel pants and white undershirts to bed.  They have 4 sets and we wash twice a week.  DH does not like us buying thrift, so my compromise was we get 4 days of new clothes instead of 7 days of secondhand.  Like you, undwear and socks and such were always bought new.  I actually only have two pairs of pajama pants and 4 shirts.  Maybe that makes me gross and poor, but the one person sharing my bed doesn't seem to care.   :D

 

And at least one night every week each kid is sleeping in the play clothes they wore that day because they mismanaged their laundry.  They'll live, and if that's all they have in their childhood to traumatize them, I think we're doing pretty well.  ;)

[quietchapel]

We do as much used or made by Amish ( lasts a long time, made here on treadles) as we can. It is due to our low income, but primarily because of social justice considerations.

 

Interestingly, the pajama thing was huge to me in the beginning. I did see it as a mark of poverty then, but not now.

[MercyA]

I guess I worry less than average about how sanitary my kids' bedsheets are.

 

And that's probably a healthy attitude.  :001_smile:

Edited April 26, 2016 by MercyA

[Bluegoat]

Thrifting is really big here, it isn't considered poor.  Even well off people will brag about great thrift store finds.

 

I have never thrifted pjs though, not for any good reason really.

 

I love to thrift but I'm a lot more careful now that bed bugs are an issue - many thrift stores spray for them at least once a month. 

[Carra]

It is possible that what you call second hand clothes are actually almost new? If you pick children's clothes with no holes, no stains and almost non faded, in my opinion they are almost new. The same with adult clothing with no armpit stains. What do you think?

As for the question, my children do have pajamas but most of the time prefer to sleep in clean t-shirts and sweats.

 

Carra

Edited April 28, 2016 by Carra

[Carra]

Sorry if this is kind of only tangential to the topic.

 

Carra