purplejackmama Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Am I grumpy and/or crazy or are people just rude? I took DD10 to the Nutcracker this morning. Beautiful! It was a day performance with our homeschooling group, so I expected there to be lots of children. The family behind us (dad, mom, daughter and young son) talked the whole time! Like the entire time. There was an ongoing dialogue between the mom and the son, who looked to be maybe 5? She explained every character, every scene, every song, etc. On the one hand, kudos to her for exposing her kids to the ballet. That's great. BUT, does this type of conversation need to occur at the show? I get that the plot is confusing, but couldn't you deal with this after the show? Or maybe watch the movie at home before you come? Am I being unrealistic to expect a general level of common courtesy to the guests around you? I understand this is a complete first world problem. ;) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 That is rude. I like taking young children to live shows, but I also teach audience behavior. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 She should have gone over the characters and story before the show to prepare him. A brief comment here and there is OK, in my opinion, during a show for young people. But no more than that. Part of going to live performances is learning how to behave properly. I'd have been really annoyed. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnniePoo Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Yes, that would be annoying, but It's perfectly acceptable to turn around and say, "Isn't this ballet beautiful? My daughter is having a hard time concentrating though. Would you be willing to chat in the lobby so we can hear? I'll make sure nobody takes your seats." (said in a lighthearted way) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 I think the rise of home theater has made people forget that you can't comment throughout a performance. I also think audiences for live performances are becoming increasingly rude. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 I think I would probably expect their to be that type of chatter at a matinee where educators are bringing their children. I would probably find it annoying, but not unexpected. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 It is rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplejackmama Posted December 11, 2015 Author Share Posted December 11, 2015 I think the rise of home theater has made people forget that you can't comment throughout a performance. I also think audiences for live performances are becoming increasingly rude. OK! This brings up my second "issue" that I didn't mention in the OP. They brought food to the show. Popcorn, loud wrapped something, juice pouches, apples. Really? Would you even consider doing this? There are signs posted everywhere that state, no food. No drink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 I totally would have told an usher. When our kids did theater dh trained the ushers to politely ask people to stop talking or not to take pictures, eat food during the production, etc. I do that at the theater- if I turn around and ask someone to please be quiet but they don't stop talking, I go ask the manager to intervene. It works every time and staff would rather be given the chance to fix it than have a customer have a bad experience. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 It really depends at a show for young kids, but for the Nutcracker I'm leaning toward "rude." When my kids were little, before a show we'd preview it in advance. Either watch a version on DVD, read a book, or listen to the music in the car and talk about what the songs were depicting. Then in the theater (even amateur kids' theater), I would do my best to keep them silent. But honestly, if there was something that came up that I thought they needed to know, I would lean down and whisper. I should note that we also sat in the back, so we could make a quick exit if the need arose. That said, I always hear some noise in a theater that is open to kids. A little is OK and expected. Talking the whole time is not. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Plus what kind of example is she being for her kid? I would understand if he had trouble being quiet and needed to be told several times. But that the parent wasn't quiet? No, I don't get that. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 My kids have an auntie who is a lot more casual about how kids act in the theater. It has been a source of angst a few times. :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 The worst though was the time the kid in front of me pooped himself early in the show. I guess the parents didn't want to disturb everyone by taking him out? Or maybe they had a sinus infection? I don't know. I guess I'm just a grinch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Diaper smell is way less annoying than talking and wrappers! I can deal with leaving a diaper on for a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Then again, I've seen adults without kids blab way too much in the theater too. What is so hard about sitting quiet for a couple of hours? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Food in the theater against posted rules- that would annoy me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MerryAtHope Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 If the kids can't watch a performance without food, they shouldn't be there! So ridiculous! And I agree, talking throughout is rude. A few whispers here & there to help a little one, okay. More than that, take the little one out if need be. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 OK! This brings up my second "issue" that I didn't mention in the OP. They brought food to the show. Popcorn, loud wrapped something, juice pouches, apples. Really? Would you even consider doing this? There are signs posted everywhere that state, no food. No drink. Yeah, these people were acting as if they were at home. Bad example for the kids. Too bad for the rest of us too, who have to share the theater with people like this. It really isn't that hard to be silent and go without food and drink for an hour or so. I mean, over toddler age. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Yes, my kids' aunties would and did bring food. :/ Against my orders. Don't get me started. :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamiof5 Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Playing devil's advocate here. Yes, I think it is rude and I wouldn't have done it myself (specially the snacking part). But, we don't know what that mom has going on? Maybe too busy like all of us? Maybe didn't think of, or didn't have time to discuss the play beforehand? Maybe their first theatre outing and she was just excited to be there? It still stinks for you, but I mean, at least she was discussing the play, not something totally off topic. I have been disturbed by people at Mass who are on their tablets, cell phones, or having full conversations about a party or something...that's not the place for that. Sounds to me like she was just trying to explain the play to her child, not very considerate to others, but at least she was showing interest. I'd say just lack of judgement and common sense :( 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplejackmama Posted December 11, 2015 Author Share Posted December 11, 2015 That is rude. I like taking young children to live shows, but I also teach audience behavior. This is exactly how I view live theatre with children. It's a chance to teach them how to be a great audience member. I expect some chatter, a few questions, a couple of talkative moments but as a parent you need to teach your child how to watch a show. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Those stupid wrappers are so loud! It's amazing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplejackmama Posted December 11, 2015 Author Share Posted December 11, 2015 Playing devil's advocate here. Yes, I think it is rude and I wouldn't have done it myself (specially the snacking part). But, we don't know what that mom has going on? Maybe too busy like all of us? Maybe didn't think of, or didn't have time to discuss the play beforehand? Maybe their first theatre outing and she was just excited to be there? It still stinks for you, but I mean, at least she was discussing the play, not something totally off topic. I have been disturbed by people at Mass who are on their tablets, cell phones, or having full conversations about a party or something...that's not the place for that. Sounds to me like she was just trying to explain the play to her child, not very considerate to others, but at least she was showing interest. I'd say just lack of judgement and common sense :( Thanks for another perspective. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Yes, very annoying, all of it. For a children's performance I would expect a bit of whispering and probably some ill-timed restroom visits, but that's it. The plot and characters should have been covered ahead of time and there should have been no food if it was not permitted. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 It really depends at a show for young kids, but for the Nutcracker I'm leaning toward "rude." When my kids were little, before a show we'd preview it in advance. Either watch a version on DVD Ok, a slightly off-point funny story (which involves too much talking I suppose). Years ago I took my DD to the Nutcracker. After a few minutes she leaned over and asked, "When are they going to talk?" I replied, "Remember, it's a ballet - they don't talk." She looked disappointed and whispered, "This is not like "Barbie and the Nutcracker" AT ALL." Parenting Fail. 19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Playing devil's advocate here. Yes, I think it is rude and I wouldn't have done it myself (specially the snacking part). But, we don't know what that mom has going on? Maybe too busy like all of us? Maybe didn't think of, or didn't have time to discuss the play beforehand? Maybe their first theatre outing and she was just excited to be there? It still stinks for you, but I mean, at least she was discussing the play, not something totally off topic. I have been disturbed by people at Mass who are on their tablets, cell phones, or having full conversations about a party or something...that's not the place for that. Sounds to me like she was just trying to explain the play to her child, not very considerate to others, but at least she was showing interest. I'd say just lack of judgement and common sense :( I see what you are saying but I don't know. Surely once they were in the theater they could see that snacks were not allowed, so they should have kept them put away. Busy or not, the mom knew the child was not prepared (didn't know anything about the characters/story) and could have just told him to enjoy the music and dancing and she'd explain the story later, because once the music and dancing start, it is not time to talk. Yeah, we're all too busy; we all have a lot going on. But at some point our busyness needs not to be an excuse to be a problem for other people. It's neat to take young kids to live theater events. But it's not necessary and maybe not even advisable if there is no time to prepare them for the experience. In the long run, it wouldn't matter to the kid if he didn't see the ballet till next year, and maybe he'd enjoy it more. Maybe I'm just old and crabby. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 OK! This brings up my second "issue" that I didn't mention in the OP. They brought food to the show. Popcorn, loud wrapped something, juice pouches, apples. Really? Would you even consider doing this? There are signs posted everywhere that state, no food. No drink. I also do not understand why people can't sit through a performance of 2 hours or less without eating. Rattling snack packages during a performance make me nuts. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Diaper smell is way less annoying than talking and wrappers! I can deal with leaving a diaper on for a bit. Not everyone sitting around a dirty diaper can deal with it... 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Not everyone sitting around a dirty diaper can deal with it... They're welcome to go change my kid then. Sometimes I can't even smell it these days. Living around a diaper pail and all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stratford Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 I agree with the OP - their behavior was not appropriate for the situation. As an aside, we recently attended a matinee Christmas concert put on by our local symphony and choir. The woman (old enough to know better) that I sat next to sang along with every song. I was ready to stuff a sock in her by the time the performance was over. I appreciate that she was feeling festive, but seriously....she was really obnoxious. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 I see what you are saying but I don't know. Surely once they were in the theater they could see that snacks were not allowed, so they should have kept them put away. Busy or not, the mom knew the child was not prepared (didn't know anything about the characters/story) and could have just told him to enjoy the music and dancing and she'd explain the story later, because once the music and dancing start, it is not time to talk. Yeah, we're all too busy; we all have a lot going on. But at some point our busyness needs not to be an excuse to be a problem for other people. It's neat to take young kids to live theater events. But it's not necessary and maybe not even advisable if there is no time to prepare them for the experience. In the long run, it wouldn't matter to the kid if he didn't see the ballet till next year, and maybe he'd enjoy it more. Maybe I'm just old and crabby. If so, I'm old and crabby too. She could have explained the basics of the story in the time it took to pack the snacks and drinks, I think. I think she may have arrived at the event with the mentality that it's a homeschool/kids performance, but surely signs saying no food was allowed should have been heeded, which tells me she was either inconsiderate or assumed that because it was a kids' performance the regular rules didn't apply. For example, our library doesn't allow food and there are signs to that effect in the room where they hold the book club and give the kids snacks. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 They're welcome to go change my kid then. Sometimes I can't even smell it these days. Living around a diaper pail and all. Seriously? In a theater with close seating? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 I agree with the OP - their behavior was not appropriate for the situation. As an aside, we recently attended a matinee Christmas concert put on by our local symphony and choir. The woman (old enough to know better) that I sat next to sang along with every song. I was ready to stuff a sock in her by the time the performance was over. I appreciate that she was feeling festive, but seriously....she was really obnoxious. That would have made me beyond crazy. I'd probably say something to the usher in that situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ailaena Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Seriously? In a theater with close seating? You actually expect somebody to cause a greater disturbance to immediately go change a diaper? Each half (or third, sometimes) of a performance is an hour, the kid can wait. If somebody is so sensitive to smells that they can hardly leave the house, that is their own problem and there is no way I will feel guilty about it. I have no idea why this thought bothered me, sorry... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamiof5 Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 I see what you are saying but I don't know. Surely once they were in the theater they could see that snacks were not allowed, so they should have kept them put away. Busy or not, the mom knew the child was not prepared (didn't know anything about the characters/story) and could have just told him to enjoy the music and dancing and she'd explain the story later, because once the music and dancing start, it is not time to talk. Yeah, we're all too busy; we all have a lot going on. But at some point our busyness needs not to be an excuse to be a problem for other people. It's neat to take young kids to live theater events. But it's not necessary and maybe not even advisable if there is no time to prepare them for the experience. In the long run, it wouldn't matter to the kid if he didn't see the ballet till next year, and maybe he'd enjoy it more. Maybe I'm just old and crabby. I don't think you are old and crabby. And believe me...my kids? No way. We are very conscious, or try, and when a place or event calls to be quiet we try our best. However, still playing devil's advocate. We just don't know. Maybe she has a little baby and has pregnancy/new mom brain? Could her 5 yr old have health issues and need a snack? Or as someone said, maybe she assumed rules didn't apply since it was geared towards homeschoolers with little children? We just don't have a clue why this happened. Or, she just has no theater etiquette. That could be too :). We just don't know. I love theater, and consider it important to expose children to it, so kiddos to them for that! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 You actually expect somebody to cause a greater disturbance to immediately go change a diaper? Each half (or third, sometimes) of a performance is an hour, the kid can wait. If somebody is so sensitive to smells that they can hardly leave the house, that is their own problem and there is no way I will feel guilty about it. I have no idea why this thought bothered me, sorry... I know, right? If I actually noticed and the kid wasn't fussy we would wait until the intermission. But I still contend I'm also immune to diaper smells :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 You actually expect somebody to cause a greater disturbance to immediately go change a diaper? Each half (or third, sometimes) of a performance is an hour, the kid can wait. If somebody is so sensitive to smells that they can hardly leave the house, that is their own problem and there is no way I will feel guilty about it. I have no idea why this thought bothered me, sorry... Actually, yes, I would expect that when a child has odorous excrement in his pants and is sitting in a crowded theater, I would consider that there may be others around me that can't tolerate it. It's all about the circumstances - totally kid audience with less than ten minutes remaining, I'd wait. Formal performance with long acts and many adults with no small children present, I'd be taking care of the smelly pants. As a courtesy to those around me, I'd remove the child to take care of the diaper and watch the rest from the back of the house if necessary so as not to disturb my aisle mates again with a return during the same act. And yeah, I guess there are as many differing opinions on this as there are about whether or not to change a diaper in a restaurant, so I am sorry to have gone into this rabbit hole. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 (edited) nm Edited December 15, 2015 by w11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skimomma Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 I must be getting old too. It is so irritating to spend top dollar to go to a live performance only to be driven nuts by rude behavior. We went to the nutcracker last week. The tickets were very expensive. The performance was incredible. The family behind me with TEENS that talked through the whole thing really ruined the experience for me. I turned around several times to let them know I could hear them and that they were bothering me. I would have gotten an usher (I'm not afraid to tattle) but this particular theater does not have a center aisle and we were smack in the middle. I would have had to crawl over 30+ people to get to the end then drag an usher back. My daughter had a holiday concert this last week. Lots of families attend so you expect a certain degree of kid disturbances. I get it. I've been there. The family with the toddler that loudly babbled through everyone's performance should have been removed. I get that the parents want to watch their darling and all but there were times I could not even hear over the kid. Grrrrr! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 I agree with the OP - their behavior was not appropriate for the situation. As an aside, we recently attended a matinee Christmas concert put on by our local symphony and choir. The woman (old enough to know better) that I sat next to sang along with every song. I was ready to stuff a sock in her by the time the performance was over. I appreciate that she was feeling festive, but seriously....she was really obnoxious. LOL I sing at some concerts. Usually I can't even hear my own self because the speakers are so loud. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 I know, right? If I actually noticed and the kid wasn't fussy we would wait until the intermission. But I still contend I'm also immune to diaper smells :lol: OK just for the record, this was a preschooler and his poop was very stinky. I'm not talking about newborn poop. :P Somehow poop smell and the sugarplum fairy just don't mix. Yes, I would have taken my kid out and changed him in that situation. If that meant I have to stay in the back when I returned, oh well. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MerryAtHope Posted December 12, 2015 Share Posted December 12, 2015 (edited) She looked disappointed and whispered, "This is not like "Barbie and the Nutcracker" AT ALL." LOL! I agree with the OP - their behavior was not appropriate for the situation. As an aside, we recently attended a matinee Christmas concert put on by our local symphony and choir. The woman (old enough to know better) that I sat next to sang along with every song. I was ready to stuff a sock in her by the time the performance was over. I appreciate that she was feeling festive, but seriously....she was really obnoxious. LOL I sing at some concerts. Usually I can't even hear my own self because the speakers are so loud. LOL, I do too. I try to do hum or sing quietly or under my breath unless they invite the audience to join, but I'd try to stop if I caught someone giving me glances! I even have trouble not singing along to classical music (I never was one who could study with music on--I sing automatically no matter what it is!) Edited December 12, 2015 by MerryAtHope 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplejackmama Posted December 12, 2015 Author Share Posted December 12, 2015 Thanks everyone! I feel better about my old grumpy self already :) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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