Ewe Mama Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 We have all been invited to a wedding in September. It is a church wedding beginning at 1pm, with the reception following immediately afterwards. The invitation includes the phrase "formal attire." What is formal attire for an early afternoon wedding? What would be appropriate for our boys to wear? They always wear khakis and polo shirts for church and that is quite dressed up for their age group. I am rather baffled by the whole formal attire request, because the bride and groom are rather casual people who are planning on including a lot of children at the wedding. Are they expecting suits and ties for all the boys? Thank you for your help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Khakis and polos are fine for boys not in the wedding party. For an afternoon wedding, I would have your husband wear a suit if he owns one, or dress pants & a button-down shirt with a tie if he doesn't. You could wear a suit as well, or a cocktail dress, or dressy pants and a fancy blouse. Any of the knee-length to tea-length party dresses on Modcloth would be appropriate IMHO (some would probably need a shrug for the church ceremony) : http://www.modcloth.com/shop/party-dresses I would not wear any dress longer than tea length if the reception ends before dinner time. Dressy pants are fine if you want to keep your calves covered. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Ask the siblings/parents of the bridal party. I expect they just don't want guests showing up in shorts and flip flops. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RioSamba Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Once upon a time we had hard and fast rules for wedding attire, and when you received the invitation, you knew what to wear. Nowadays, each invitation is a mystery to decode, fraught with intrigue, differing regional and cultural expectations, and occasional bridezilla/groomzilla expectations. Formal may mean, "please comb your hair and wear clean clothes. And for the love of tiny green frogs, please, no jeans!" Or it may mean something else entirely. We know the wedding is in a Church. What about the reception? This information will help us to decode! Edited for reading comprehension & because eat and received are not the same word! 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xixstar Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 I would assume dress slacks, button up shirt and tie for boys. I would skip jacket. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 I agree that it seems vague. To me, formal attire for boys would include a dress shirt, tie, khakis or dress pants, nice shoes (not sneakers). Basically, if the boys don't grumble about it, it's not formal. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 I agree with others that khaki or dark dress pants and a collared shirt should be fine for boys. But if you're unsure, feel it out by asking the couple or close friends of the couple next time you happen to cross paths. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 We have all been invited to a wedding in September. It is a church wedding beginning at 1pm, with the reception following immediately afterwards. The invitation includes the phrase "formal attire." What is formal attire for an early afternoon wedding? What would be appropriate for our boys to wear? They always wear khakis and polo shirts for church and that is quite dressed up for their age group. I am rather baffled by the whole formal attire request, because the bride and groom are rather casual people who are planning on including a lot of children at the wedding. Are they expecting suits and ties for all the boys? Thank you for your help! Formal attire for guests depends on how formally the bride is dressed. Although the happy couple really shouldn't be telling people how to dress, they are probably just hoping that people don't show up in their backyard-barbecue attire, KWIM? . But it's a wedding. It would be nice if you could dress up the khakis a little by having the boys wear dressier shirts and even--dare I say it--a tie. If Mr. Ellie and I were invited, he would wear a tie, I would wear a dress. Mr. Ellie might even wear a suit, or at least his sports jacket. Because wedding. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth S Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 And a big shout out to ANYONE trying to dress their kids for a wedding: Feel free to borrow clothes from a friend. I have a range of sizes of Hand-Me-Down navy blazers, and offer to loan them for weddings & funerals. (Which I only think are needed if you are IN the wedding party or are a sibling of the bride/groom.) I would try not to spend a bunch of money on clothes. I would send the boys in khakis & a polo shirt, but at least a tie for dh. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 ah yes - as miss manners once said, "we're not dressing" is a phrase she no longer dares to use. (it meant suits for men.) afternoon formal wear is a morning suit - I doubt they mean that either. I would assume they want suits, and longish dresses. I think a white shirt and tie with pants would be just fine for your sons. (don't feel obligated to get them a suit coat unless they're part of the bridal party.) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 I would call and ask because that's odd. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 Khakis and polos are fine for boys not in the wedding party. For an afternoon wedding, I would have your husband wear a suit if he owns one, or dress pants & a button-down shirt with a tie if he doesn't. You could wear a suit as well, or a cocktail dress, or dressy pants and a fancy blouse. Any of the knee-length to tea-length party dresses on Modcloth would be appropriate IMHO (some would probably need a shrug for the church ceremony) : http://www.modcloth.com/shop/party-dresses I would not wear any dress longer than tea length if the reception ends before dinner time. Dressy pants are fine if you want to keep your calves covered. Oops. I hit the the post button before typing my reply. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 Khakis and polos are fine for boys not in the wedding party. For an afternoon wedding, I would have your husband wear a suit if he owns one, or dress pants & a button-down shirt with a tie if he doesn't. You could wear a suit as well, or a cocktail dress, or dressy pants and a fancy blouse. Any of the knee-length to tea-length party dresses on Modcloth would be appropriate IMHO (some would probably need a shrug for the church ceremony) : http://www.modcloth.com/shop/party-dresses I would not wear any dress longer than tea length if the reception ends before dinner time. Dressy pants are fine if you want to keep your calves covered. I will definitely check with the MOB if I see her at church tomorrow. Knowing her as well as I do, khakis and polos will be fine for my boys. She is the type of mother who loves children and has realistic expectations of their behaviors. I don't know her daughter as well, but she seems to be cut from house same cloth. The daughter is marrying one of our priests, so the whole church is invited. I am planning to wear my second favorite ModCloth dress! It may not be as formal as some women might wear, but it always feels a tad too dressy for church, but it should be fine for the wedding. I wish I could wear my fave dress, but I think the cookie print would be a tad too casual for the occasion! :lol: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 Ask the siblings/parents of the bridal party. I expect they just don't want guests showing up in shorts and flip flops. That's what I suspect as well, but I wanted to have time to practice looking serene in case that are expecting suits and ties on my little men. :biggrin: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 If we received an invitation like this, I would wear a dress and dh would wear a suit & tie. At his age, ds would wear a suit & tie as well. At the age of 11, ds started wearing dockers, dress shirt, tie & jacket to events such as this. Prior to that, dockers & a polo (with a sweater in winter) were appropriate. Now that he is an adult, we expect him to dress like one as well. Since she is marrying the priest, I would err on the side of dressing up, rather than dressing down, although that is usually my rule of thumb for most events. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 Once upon a time we had hard and fast rules for wedding attire, and when you received the invitation, you knew what to wear. Nowadays, each invitation is a mystery to decode, fraught with intrigue, differing regional and cultural expectations, and occasional bridezilla/groomzilla expectations. Formal may mean, "please comb your hair and wear clean clothes. And for the love of tiny green frogs, please, no jeans!" Or it may mean something else entirely. We know the wedding is in a Church. What about the reception? This information will help us to decode! Edited for reading comprehension & because eat and received are not the same word! Ahhh, the yen for the good old days, when Emily Post reigned supreme! I believe the reception is at the church hall. I love tiny green frogs! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 I would assume dress slacks, button up shirt and tie for boys. I would skip jacket. This sounds doable. Do you have any idea where to purchase wrinkle-free boys' button downs? I don't recall ever seeing them in boys' sizes. I don't iron anymore, hence the polo shirts for all occasions! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 Basically, if the boys don't grumble about it, it's not formal. Yup! You know my boys! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 I agree with others that khaki or dark dress pants and a collared shirt should be fine for boys. But if you're unsure, feel it out by asking the couple or close friends of the couple next time you happen to cross paths. The consensus seems to be in our favor. The only thing I have to look out for is Theodore trying to sneak out the door with white sport socks under his dress shoes. :lol: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 Formal attire for guests depends on how formally the bride is dressed. Although the happy couple really shouldn't be telling people how to dress, they are probably just hoping that people don't show up in their backyard-barbecue attire, KWIM? . But it's a wedding. It would be nice if you could dress up the khakis a little by having the boys wear dressier shirts and even--dare I say it--a tie. If Mr. Ellie and I were invited, he would wear a tie, I would wear a dress. Mr. Ellie might even wear a suit, or at least his sports jacket. Because wedding. I knew I's see you in this thread, Miss Ellie! And I promise, my legs will be properly ensconced in hosiery! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 And a big shout out to ANYONE trying to dress their kids for a wedding: Feel free to borrow clothes from a friend. I have a range of sizes of Hand-Me-Down navy blazers, and offer to loan them for weddings & funerals. (Which I only think are needed if you are IN the wedding party or are a sibling of the bride/groom.) I would try not to spend a bunch of money on clothes. I would send the boys in khakis & a polo shirt, but at least a tie for dh. Sheep Daddy will be sporting a tie even if I have to hogtie him to make it happen. :D I don't mind purchasing a few button down shirts, but I have to draw the line at sport coats that they will wear only once or twice. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 ah yes - as miss manners once said, "we're not dressing" is a phrase she no longer dares to use. (it meant suits for men.) afternoon formal wear is a morning suit - I doubt they mean that either. I would assume they want suits, and longish dresses. I think a white shirt and tie with pants would be just fine for your sons. (don't feel obligated to get them a suit coat unless they're part of the bridal party.) None of my kiddos is in the wedding party, so we're off the hook! Whew! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 I would call and ask because that's odd. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 I agree that it seems vague. To me, formal attire for boys would include a dress shirt, tie, khakis or dress pants, nice shoes (not sneakers). Basically, if the boys don't grumble about it, it's not formal. I get grumbles about more than shorts and flip flops. in winter. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RioSamba Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 Ahhh, the yen for the good old days, when Emily Post reigned supreme! I believe the reception is at the church hall. I love tiny green frogs! Given the location and that the groom is one of your priests, I suspect most people will wear a sort of half step up from their regular church clothes. It sounds like you have figured it all out. Have fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 I have been able to find nice button down shirts for my boys at a resale shop for very reasonable prices. And if you don't think they will wear them again, sell them back to the shop when the wedding is over. The shirts don't need to be white. One of my boys wore a purple dress shirt to his cousin's wedding, and the other wore yellow. With ties. Which were not required, but they looked adorable. I would not put my boys in polo shirts for a wedding, but would at least do a short sleeve button down shirt with khaki pants, which is what they wear to church. For a wedding that was supposed to be formal, I would have them wear long-sleeve shirts and dress pants, but I'd rather err on the side of being overdressed. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheryl Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 They said formal and their wedding is in a church. If you are able to ask to clarify, as suggested by a pp, then do that, but I believe a suit or at last dress slacks, shirt and tie would be in order. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 At a minimum I'd assume shirt and tie. I'd probably borrow a blazer, too. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 I'd be curious to see if there are any regional and maybe denominational variations on the answers. I don't think I've seen full suits on pre-adolescent boys except for boys making their First Holy Communion and boys who are in a wedding party. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibiche Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 DS doesn't own a jacket so I usually send him to weddings and other such events in nice pants, a button-down shirt, and a coordinating bow tie (these are really simple to sew and he always gets compliments on them) and in colder weather a nice sweater. Maybe when he gets a little older we will spring for a jacket, but really, I don't think most people expect young boys to wear them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mbelle Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 Gray pants instead of khaki, with tie and blue blazer. Borrow if at all possible. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 I would assume dress slacks, button up shirt and tie for boys. I would skip jacket. That's exactly what I was thinking. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 At a minimum I'd assume shirt and tie. I'd probably borrow a blazer, too. No pants? :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Sorry, I couldn't help it :lol: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 Honestly, I think it's always better to be a little "over dressed" than "under dressed" for the occasion. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted August 3, 2015 Author Share Posted August 3, 2015 Well, the mother of the bride sent a response to my email. She said the bride and groom went with "formal" dress requirements in order to get their guests to actually dress appropriately for the service. No shorts, blue jeans, flip flops, lingerie hanging out, plunging necklines, skimpy sundresses, barely hidden bums, etc. She said the bride and groom could not believe some of the things people have worn to weddings. She also said she is not worried about us...we have always dressed appropriately for church, so she is confident in our ability to continue doing so. I will scope out some button downs and perhaps ties for the boys, but they can wear their khakis! Thanks, everyone! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 I'd be baffled too. I guess I don't attend enough formal events! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 If you get button down shirts, remember to get belts if they don't already have them! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted August 4, 2015 Author Share Posted August 4, 2015 If you get button down shirts, remember to get belts if they don't already have them! Done and done! Button downs, ties, and belts purchased this evening. We are good to go! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 I was surprised to see wedding photos of a friend of a friend today. Most of the men were in jackets, all with ties, women in cocktail type dresses...and one woman in SHORTS! At DH's best friend's wedding, one of the bridesmaids' significant other's luggage was lost by the airline. He wore shorts to the wedding. They delivered his suitcase overnight, so he wore his tux to breakfast. :) 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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