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Emergency potty training?


Moxie
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Friday night, my almost 3yo, who isn't potty trained, flooded her diaper and peed on the floor. Dh, who was sitting next to her, was surprised and yelled for me to come quick. It really really scared her and she is now refusing to pee or poo in her diaper. She has gone maybe 4 times all weekend (very full diapers) and she has cried and been scared every time. She is currently dancing around and crying about the pee being scary. She is very worried she will pee on the floor.

 

Dh feels terrible, btw.

 

So, do I do the the super exciting underwear! candy! juice! potty! routine that has worked with the other kids or do I try to convince her that her diaper isn't scary?

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Sounds like she is scared by the act of peeing, not by the diaper, so I would primarily address that issue. Maybe try to find a way for her to be comfortable going at all, whether it is in a diaper, the bathtub, or the backyard.  Ask her if she can think of any way that she would feel comfortable going.

 

Has your DH talked to her about his reaction and explained that he wasn't upset just because she was peeing, but more because he was getting wet.  Could she have misinterpreted and generalized his reaction to the act of peeing itself, rather than just the situation of getting him wet? 

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I would suggest to her that she sit on the potty and pee (with or without a diaper on) so it doesn't go on the floor.

 

If she can hold it and doesn't want to make a mess, then I wonder why you would not want to outright potty-train.

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I'd also do a quick trip to the doc to rule out a UTI.

 

And then I'd potty train.  Make sure she knows everyone pees and it's all good.  Give prizes for staying clean and dry and push the liquids.  She'll get there!  Poor kid.

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That seems an odd response to me. Is she a sensitive child? We have screeched over accidents before, especially as the mess keeps spreading. The kids, if they get upset at all, get over it in a few minutes (especially if we apologize for freaking out). Developing an aversion to going potty from one incident is really strange and I'd be more concerned about that.

 

Still, though UTIs are actually pretty rare in small children, I'd recommend taking her in to rule out anything physiological, nonetheless.

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Ruling out a uti or constipation which can also cause pain, begin potty training as you did with the others.

 

Possible options...A potty chair where she can sit and read or even watch a video might distract and calm her enough to go.  I've know lots of trained little ones who wore a long shirt or dress with nothing else on while training or the special undies.  I would also try rewards and or the potty training videos if they still have them.  Poor kiddo :grouphug: , my sister used to use a timer for her kids while training and set it to go off every hour or so; she pushed salty foods like pretzels, and pop-corn with lots of drinks.

 

I second having daddy reassure her that accidents happen to lots of people and even kitty's or puppies.  

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Guys, she is freaked out about going potty. Getting a urine bag taped to her personal area is going to set her back further. We bought some panties and treats and we're watching Daniel Tiger use the potty.

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My potty trained 4 year old had a yeast infection that we treated. It cleared up but she became incredibly anxious about using the potty. She even made herself constipated.

It has been awful! She doesn't want to potty and she freaks out when she has to go. It is taking lots of reassurance to help her get past it.

I wouldn't dismiss a UTI but I would potty train with stickers and rewards. So, potty train right away.

It is terrible when a child is overly anxious about going potty. I feel for you! It has been super stressful at my house with the potty issues.

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Guys, she is freaked out about going potty. Getting a urine bag taped to her personal area is going to set her back further. We bought some panties and treats and we're watching Daniel Tiger use the potty.

Does she see big sisters and mommy using the potty? sounds personal I know, but she can see that everyone pees and it's really no big deal.

 

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I can understand the freak-out and it actually seems logical to me.  Peeing on the floor is traumatic enough, and then you add in the loud noise and apparently disappointing daddy.   

 

DD weaned herself cold turkey.  I'd really really wanted to make it to a year of breast milk, no formula and no cow's milk.  At 11 months she got a tooth and bit me.  I screamed from shock and pain.  She never ever wanted to breast feed again.  

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Two more cents:  (1)  if you find that she continues to hold it too long, maybe put her in a warm bath to see if that helps (e.g. pee by accident in the water)

 

(2)  FWIW, when my oldest was potty training, we went cold turkey with diapers and she was afraid to go in the potty.  She ended up holding it so long over various days (until the nighttime diaper) that she did, in fact, end up with a UTI.

 

(3)  Good point above about constipation - do try to avoid that.

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When dd was learning, she liked being my "potty buddy" - she would sit on her little potty and i would sit on the big one and we would go together.  Maybe try something like that?  Even have a race or a prize for who pees the longest or something like that to make it fun.

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Friday night, my almost 3yo, who isn't potty trained, flooded her diaper and peed on the floor. Dh, who was sitting next to her, was surprised and yelled for me to come quick. It really really scared her and she is now refusing to pee or poo in her diaper. She has gone maybe 4 times all weekend (very full diapers) and she has cried and been scared every time. She is currently dancing around and crying about the pee being scary. She is very worried she will pee on the floor.

 

Dh feels terrible, btw.

 

So, do I do the the super exciting underwear! candy! juice! potty! routine that has worked with the other kids or do I try to convince her that her diaper isn't scary?

 

 

We went through this a few months ago...and to a lesser degree going through it now.

 

DD was a little over three and we decided it was time to potty train. I thought she would be easy because she hates to be wet (she hates to touch wet hair/hands or have her clothes wet.)  She had an accident and hated it...but then it backfired.  She just refused to go...at all.  She would not go on the potty, would not go in her pants, and would not go in a pull-up.  It was AWFUL!  It was so stressful, because she would hold it for hours and hours, and then she would cry, panic, dance, run...do anything to try to stop the flow.  Sometimes the freaking out part would last 2-3 hours before she finally could not hold it any more.  I thought we had broke our child!  We decided to try to "re-set" her and put her back in pull-ups, but it still took about 2-3 weeks before she could go in a pull up without panicking.  There was nothing we could do for her.  When it was just my husband and I...*I* was hysterical!  She finally "re-set" and was fine going in the pull ups again.  

 

It took months for me to get the nerve up to try PTing again.   We just started this past Friday and she did not go potty for 26 hours...you read that right 26 hours.  This time, she is not panicking like she did before, she is just holding it until she can't anymore.  We are making progress...it only took her 2 hours to potty this morning  :hurray: 

 

I don't have much advice, but I have HUGE HUGS for you, because I know exactly how you are feeling right now.  The best you can do is try to comfort her the best you can, and make her drink a lot to try to force it out.  The more you can get her to go, the less scared she will be.  

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We went through this a few months ago...and to a lesser degree going through it now.

 

DD was a little over three and we decided it was time to potty train. I thought she would be easy because she hates to be wet (she hates to touch wet hair/hands or have her clothes wet.)  She had an accident and hated it...but then it backfired.  She just refused to go...at all.  She would not go on the potty, would not go in her pants, and would not go in a pull-up.  It was AWFUL!  It was so stressful, because she would hold it for hours and hours, and then she would cry, panic, dance, run...do anything to try to stop the flow.  Sometimes the freaking out part would last 2-3 hours before she finally could not hold it any more.  I thought we had broke our child!  We decided to try to "re-set" her and put her back in pull-ups, but it still took about 2-3 weeks before she could go in a pull up without panicking.  There was nothing we could do for her.  When it was just my husband and I...*I* was hysterical!  She finally "re-set" and was fine going in the pull ups again.  

 

It took months for me to get the nerve up to try PTing again.   We just started this past Friday and she did not go potty for 26 hours...you read that right 26 hours.  This time, she is not panicking like she did before, she is just holding it until she can't anymore.  We are making progress...it only took her 2 hours to potty this morning  :hurray: 

 

I don't have much advice, but I have HUGE HUGS for you, because I know exactly how you are feeling right now.  The best you can do is try to comfort her the best you can, and make her drink a lot to try to force it out.  The more you can get her to go, the less scared she will be.  

 

I also had this problem with my youngest when she was young.  She went potty a couple of times fine - then suddenly didn't want to go on the potty or in a diaper or anything else.  She'd get upset, and be crying, and dancing around - but didn't want a diaper or pull-up on and didn't want to sit on the potty (or have an accident!).  I ended up judging when I figured she couldn't hold it more, and then I'd help her onto the potty anyway and just hug her while she was on it.... and she'd eventually go.   It was stressful for everyone - but fortunately only lasted a week or two.   

 

So anyway - HUGS!

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I also had this problem with my youngest when she was young.  She went potty a couple of times fine - then suddenly didn't want to go on the potty or in a diaper or anything else.  She'd get upset, and be crying, and dancing around - but didn't want a diaper or pull-up on and didn't want to sit on the potty (or have an accident!).  I ended up judging when I figured she couldn't hold it more, and then I'd help her onto the potty anyway and just hug her while she was on it.... and she'd eventually go.   It was stressful for everyone - but fortunately only lasted a week or two.   

 

So anyway - HUGS!

 

This happened to us too. Just went through it over the last two weeks with one of our twins as we potty trained both the girls. She would finally agree to sit on the potty chair and watch a movie. When she felt like she was about to go, she'd get up and try to leave, and I'd sort of hug her like scoutingmom said. Eventually she just got over whatever hurdle was in her mind and now sits on the big toilet without even the potty chair insert on it. Seemed like it may have been connected with seeing a Dora potty insert at her friend's house. Positive potty peer pressure? :)

 

So best wishes on whatever you decide to do. I suggest the potty training, but with the realization that it won't necessarily erase the being scared phase right away—it's likely to also be in the new situation for a time.

 

Erica in OR

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After 3 hours of dancing and crying, I put her back in a diaper so she would pee (she did). We're just loading her with liquids now to try to get her to not be scared. Potty training isn't the priority right now.

 

Dh really feels bad. He has such a loud voice, this isn't the first time he has accidently scared one of the kids.

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Guys, she is freaked out about going potty. Getting a urine bag taped to her personal area is going to set her back further. We bought some panties and treats and we're watching Daniel Tiger use the potty.

Frankly I think good call.

 

I have a super sensitive three year old. I could totally see this entire scenario. She's been pitying for over a year now but several times each day she patiently stands IN FRONT of the potty and pees on the floor. DH asked me to start holding her hand and talking nicely to her as she potties. (He is more sensitive than me.) Works like a charm.

 

It'll take time but I think you are going with the right approach.

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