Ignore this thread!

[Jean in Newcastle]

2 hours ago, Junie said:

I think Autumn is everyone's best season.

I'm going to be the odd woman out here and say no.  I love the fall colors.  But it is a very difficult time for me physically.  I go into a flare (already started) that won't completely end until spring (if past history is a good predictor).  By winter I am kind of resolved to it but fall is depressing. 

????

[KrissiK]

18 minutes ago, Susan in TN said:

Krissi, does he do poorly in classes because he fails the tests, or because he doesn't do/hand in assignments, or both?

Both. But he’s very inconsistent. The gradebook looks like this...A, B, NTI (not turned in),NTI, NTI, NTI, B, B.   He doesn’t study for tests and quizzes because he doesn’t know how to, but he refuses to accept help.

[KrissiK]

21 minutes ago, maize said:

How does he generally do with managing time and organization? Does he follow through on chores at home? Is his room orderly?

Does he seem happy? 

I struggled in high school--everyone though I just wasn't trying. Turns out I had undiagnosed ADHD.

Depression or substance abuse are also possibilities when a kid is underperforming.

Does he have friends? Does he have things in life he does enjoy and puts effort into?

He doesn’t manage his time because he doesn’t do anything. Really. He’s on his iPad from the minute he gets home. We do try to limit his time, but when he’s not on it, he’s just sitting there irritating people. He is generally not late for school or youth group. He follows through on chores at home.... mostly. He doesn’t want to do them, so he doesn’t think he should have to. His room is a mess. But, he is not scatter brained. I read a book on EF and some of the descriptives are not him at all. He is not scattered and always late. His EF problems are in that he cannot do projects, whether it’s for school or socially. Like making a plan, even if it’s asking a friend to shoot hoops.... can’t manage to define the where and when. He only does things when asked and someone else figures out the particulars.

No, he is not happy. He does not seem to take pleasure in activities or people. He likes to be around friends, but it also stresses him out, but he doesn’t realize or acknowledge that. And that is what we are trying to figure out.

He has superficial friendships, and he does seem to enjoy working for my parents, now that I think about it. He seems to like physical labor, though he only does it for $ so he can spend it on Fortnight stuff. So, no, he does nothing just for the sheer pleasure of it. He is physically strong, has a lot of endurance and is a natural athlete, but he doesn’t do sports.

18 minutes ago, Slache said:

Depression. Change the gender of your pronouns here and you're telling a story about me and it was depression.

See, I think that plays into it, but he doesn’t fit into “the box”.

Edited November 8, 2018 by KrissiK

[maize]

1 minute ago, KrissiK said:

He doesn’t manage his time because he doesn’t do anything. Really. He’s on his iPad from the minute he gets home. We do try to limit his time, but when he’s not on it, he’s just sitting there irritating people. He is generally not late for school or youth group. He follows through on chores at home.... mostly. He doesn’t want to do them, so he doesn’t think he should have to. His room is a mess. But, he is not scatter brained. I read a book on EF and some of the descriptives are not him at all. He is not scattered and always late. His EF problems are in that he cannot do projects, whether it’s for school or socially.

No, he is not happy. He does not seem to take pleasure in activities or people. He likes to be around friends, but it also stresses him out, but he doesn’t realize or acknowledge that. And that is what we are trying to figure out.

He has superficial friendships, and he does seem to enjoy working for my parents, now that I think about it. He seems to like physical labor, though he only does it for $ so he can spend it on Fortnight stuff. So, no, he does nothing just for the sheer pleasure of it. He is physically strong, has a lot of endurance and is a natural athlete, but he doesn’t do sports.

See, I think that plays into it, but he doesn’t fit into “the box”.

 

This does sound like depression. There really isn't a box.

Does he seem irritable? That is probably the #1 symptom of depression in males. 

How old is he? 

 

[KrissiK]

2 minutes ago, maize said:

 

This does sound like depression. There really isn't a box.

Does he seem irritable? That is probably the #1 symptom of depression in males. 

How old is he? 

 

He’s 15. Irritable?? Sort of. He gets mad when I nag him about stuff, who wouldn’t?? It’s hard to tell. I know most people say kids change a lot when puberty and adolescence hit. He hasn’t changed much. He’s always been difficult, things are just getting worse.  I think it is depression and anxiety, but he comes across as very nice, in control, everything is fine, so the therapists all blow me off and think I am the problem and, “you just need to lighten up mom, he’s growing up, give him some freedom” and they throw it all on me. We have been able to get through to some people, but not in a way where we can get some real help.

[Slache]

13 minutes ago, KrissiK said:

See, I think that plays into it, but he doesn’t fit into “the box”.

There is no box. The box is a lie. Ignore the box and trust your instincts.

No box.

[KrissiK]

9 minutes ago, Slache said:

There is no box. The box is a lie. Ignore the box and trust your instincts.

No box.

Very true. But therapists have boxes. I finally got through to one therapist, but his schedule is so full that I see him once every three weeks. And DS refuses to see him at all. So, that’s going to help a lot.

[Paige]

Krissi he sounds a lot like my DS (17). He has depression/anxiety issues too. I have mixed feelings and don’t think I know what to do with my own kid so can only commiserate. 

Overall I think maintaining a loving relationship is the most important thing. Having dealt with periods of serious depression with him; Grades, mess, sass, everything is less important than the relationship. 

What will he do if you take the iPad away?

[maize]

14 minutes ago, KrissiK said:

He’s 15. Irritable?? Sort of. He gets mad when I nag him about stuff, who wouldn’t?? It’s hard to tell. I know most people say kids change a lot when puberty and adolescence hit. He hasn’t changed much. He’s always been difficult, things are just getting worse.  I think it is depression and anxiety, but he comes across as very nice, in control, everything is fine, so the therapists all blow me off and think I am the problem and, “you just need to lighten up mom, he’s growing up, give him some freedom” and they throw it all on me. We have been able to get through to some people, but not in a way where we can get some real help.

Does he tend towards perfectionism?

[Jean in Newcastle]

Krissi, I am going to third depression as a super strong possibility/ element.  A lot of depressed people self medicate with electronic devices. It gives them dopamine hits that makes things feel a little bit better at least while they are playing their games.  This doesn't mean that devices are evil (in my opinion) but that perhaps he needs meds that will help his brain chemistry in a more consistent and purposeful way.  Depression also makes it hard to make plans.  It just takes more energy to plan ahead and be proactive.  As you know, I am dealing with the same treatment search and it is really hard and frustrating esp. when the person you are trying to help doesn't seem to want your help.

[maize]

Video games can be a way of self medicating, they give the brain a dopamine hit.

Physical activity is a much better way of increasing dopamine and other neurotransmitters. Is there any activity you could get him involved in? My 15 year old loves martial arts.

I'd be tempted to put him on a complete media fast and focus on physical activity, good nutrition, and sleep. 

Edited November 8, 2018 by maize

[Slache]

54 minutes ago, maize said:

I'd be tempted to put him on a complete media fast and focus on physical activity, good nutrition, and sleep. 

This always does wonders for me.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I bumped into Random Korean Lady (who is no longer really random). We agreed that she will pay me for each class as it happens. Then we don’t have to keep track of classes taught and payment owed or (if she pays ahead of time) how many sessions she’s paid for and where we are in regards to that. She is already lobbying for twice a week but I told her that I haven’t even met, let alone evaluated her daughter yet, so not at this time. 

[KrissiK]

2 hours ago, maize said:

Video games can be a way of self medicating, they give the brain a dopamine hit.

Physical activity is a much better way of increasing dopamine and other neurotransmitters. Is there any activity you could get him involved in? My 15 year old loves martial arts.

I'd be tempted to put him on a complete media fast and focus on physical activity, good nutrition, and sleep. 

Much easier said than done. 

1) media fast - he actually needs the iPad for school. All school work and books are iPad. He lies to us about when he is doing his school work. Also, taking away his video games will result in his “punishing” us. That gets ugly. He does use it to self-medicate. 

2) we would love to get him involved in some sort of physical activity. His grades preclude him from doing school sports and we live in a small town, so other options are limited. And he will refuse to do something he doesn’t want to do and there is nothing we can do about it.  Everything becomes a battle with him, which he does enjoy, actually. He says he likes the feeling of being angry. He baits his dad and me constantly to get us to engage him and get mad at him.

3) good nutrition - he is addicted to junk food, which he gets at school and the cafe at church, so I have no control over that. I try to get him to eat fruit, he refuses vegetables. He has food issues in general, so food is a problem. He also doesn’t like eating in front of people, so that is a problem, too.

4) I think he gets enough sleep

[Jean in Newcastle]

((Krissi))

[KrissiK]

3 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Krissi, I am going to third depression as a super strong possibility/ element.  A lot of depressed people self medicate with electronic devices. It gives them dopamine hits that makes things feel a little bit better at least while they are playing their games.  This doesn't mean that devices are evil (in my opinion) but that perhaps he needs meds that will help his brain chemistry in a more consistent and purposeful way.  Depression also makes it hard to make plans.  It just takes more energy to plan ahead and be proactive.  As you know, I am dealing with the same treatment search and it is really hard and frustrating esp. when the person you are trying to help doesn't seem to want your help.

Exactly!!!

[KrissiK]

3 hours ago, Paige said:

Krissi he sounds a lot like my DS (17). He has depression/anxiety issues too. I have mixed feelings and don’t think I know what to do with my own kid so can only commiserate. 

Overall I think maintaining a loving relationship is the most important thing. Having dealt with periods of serious depression with him; Grades, mess, sass, everything is less important than the relationship. 

What will he do if you take the iPad away?

We are working on relationship. Relationships are extremely important to him, though they are very hard for him to maintain,

[73349]

*hugs for Krissi*   Keep telling yourself: Like a 3yo, he's not doing it on purpose.

Does he have any particular future goals? Mine were all that pulled me up out of the stuff I had going on ~4th-8th grades.

[Susan in TN]

(((Krissi & Co.)))

Do you think he'd be interested in the military/ROTC?

Edited November 8, 2018 by Susan in TN

[Susan in TN]

If it says Wild Caught on the package of frozen salmon, what does that mean?  Can I trust that it is really NOT farmed salmon?  I am suspicious.

[Junie]

20 minutes ago, Susan in TN said:

If it says Wild Caught on the package of frozen salmon, what does that mean?  Can I trust that it is really NOT farmed salmon?  I am suspicious.

Why are you suspicious?

I always buy wild caught and I have never doubted it.

[KrissiK]

2 hours ago, whitehawk said:

*hugs for Krissi*   Keep telling yourself: Like a 3yo, he's not doing it on purpose.

Does he have any particular future goals? Mine were all that pulled me up out of the stuff I had going on ~4th-8th grades.

No, he doesn’t seem to have any concept of “future”, or at least nothing that would motivate him.

[Susan in TN]

15 minutes ago, Junie said:

Why are you suspicious?

I always buy wild caught and I have never doubted it.

I guess I’m suspicious because I get it at Walmart and it’s inexpensive and says it’s a product of China, wild caught in the USA, and processed in China. 

[Junie]

29 minutes ago, Susan in TN said:

I guess I’m suspicious because I get it at Walmart and it’s inexpensive and says it’s a product of China, wild caught in the USA, and processed in China. 

:shrug:

Idk.  We're all still alive...

I don't buy farmed salmon because they feed the fish red pellets that contain red #40 which we avoid at.all.costs.

A couple of my girls have really bad reactions.  Not anaphylaxis bad, but really bad behavior bad.

[Jean in Newcastle]

31 minutes ago, Susan in TN said:

I guess I’m suspicious because I get it at Walmart and it’s inexpensive and says it’s a product of China, wild caught in the USA, and processed in China. 

Susan, US caught fish being processed in China is a real thing.  Here is one local-to-me article about it.  https://www.seattletimes.com/business/nw-salmon-sent-to-china-before-reaching-us-tables/

[Jean in Newcastle]

I am done writing my message for Saturday's Women's luncheon thingy.  I will still  go over it and might even tweak it here and there, but I am so relieved to basically have it done! 

[mama25angels]

I'm back!!!

(((krissi and son)))

[Paige]

I had a baseball hat show up in the mail on Monday, and today I had tickets to the new Fantastic Beasts  movie from Fedex early in the morning, and a $5 gas gift card in the mail this afternoon! ??? I love the little prizes as much as the big ones! 

[Paige]

Krissi would he want to be homeschooled again? Maybe take a mental health year? 

I know with my DS I reached a point when my mental health couldn’t have handled having him home, but maybe you aren’t there. His last therapist tried to talk me into homeschooling him again. Maybe some sort of unschooling year or internship/ project based year.

[mama25angels]

23 minutes ago, Paige said:

I had a baseball hat show up in the mail on Monday, and today I had tickets to the new Fantastic Beasts  movie from Fedex early in the morning, and a $5 gas gift card in the mail this afternoon! ??? I love the little prizes as much as the big ones! 

I'm so jealous!  Enjoy your prizes and tell us about the movie, I'm thinking of going to see it for my birthday next week.

 

and it's a jealousy will get you nowhere booya/h!!

Edited November 9, 2018 by mama25angels

[Slache]

Hi.

[mama25angels]

15 minutes ago, Slache said:

Hi.

Hi Slache!

[mama25angels]

Good night!

Angi, what movie do you want to see?

[Susan in TN]

I almost always hate my (violin) bow these days.  I am hoping it's the rosin that I am using, which is a cheap fix, as opposed to having an actually stupid bow, which is not a cheap fix. I could also get it rehaired, which is more expensive than rosin but less expensive than new bow.  That is all.  Good night.

P.S. Some lovely De Falla for you:

 

[Ellie]

I am not ketched up. I'm not sure that will happen. I'm just sending encouraging thoughts to all the ITT peeps that can be used as necessary. :-)

The foundation is done. One of my cats was totally freaked out by...IDK what, so when the rest of the work is being done, I'm going to see if the cats can go spend time with a neighbor.

The foundation work happened about two weeks before it was originally scheduled, and so the home equity loan we were planning to do hadn't happened yet. So I used insurance money to pay for that. So now I have to wait for the home equity loan to be funded before the rest of the work can be done. #firstworldproblems The contractor says he only needs one week, so I'm thinking the first week in December. :-) That's new hardwood throughout, repairs because cracked walls because bad foundation, all rooms painted (including the ceilings in a couple of them), new curtains in a couple of rooms. Oh, and before that even happens, the new counters will go in.

It will be like a new house all over again. Which is a good thing, because we're old, and all of these things should keep the house going as long as we're in it, lol.

[Susan in TN]

Interesting facts about Manuel de Falla (pronounced FAH-yah). He was born in Cadiz, Spain in 1876 and studied music with his family and later the Madrid Conservatory.  He also lived in Paris for a while and associated with Ravel, Debussy, and Stravinsky.  The set to his most famous work, The Three-Cornered Hat ballet was designed by Picasso.  Late in life he moved to Argentina in protest of the Franco regime, where he died in 1946.  He is buried at the Cadiz Cathedral.

Edited November 9, 2018 by Susan in TN

[Junie]

Mile 8!

91 to go!

[Jean in Newcastle]

Day 290 steps 
Day 162 hips
Day 61 bird dog. 

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

I talked to my son for the first time in two weeks. It was really nice to talk to him. 

[Another Lynn]

 4:30 alarm!  COFFEE!!!  Taking ds on a college visit today.  Maybe that will help my step count.  (Probably won't help Mount Washmore any.....)

[Susan in TN]

Good morning!

I would like to visit Spain.

Have fun storming the college!

Ellie, I'm glad your house is getting all fixted up.  Sorry the kitteh is stressed out!

Today is Andy's Frozen Custard's 2nd anniversary, so to celebrate the end of the tutorial semester, I am taking the kids to get $2 concretes this afternoon.  Even though it will only be 46 degrees.    Tonight we are going to a local university's production of Amahl and the Night Visitors.  I will have to remind the kids that this is NOT a sing-along!  (We listen to it every year when we are driving somewhere for Christmas.)  They are also performing a 1 act opera by Ravel about a little boy who throws a temper tantrum and his toys come alive and turn against him.  

Coffee!

 

[Susan in TN]

(Shhhhh...don't look now, but there is a snowflake sitting next to Tuesday.)

[mama25angels]

Good morning!

Ellie-I hope kitty is ok.

Lynn-enjoy the college visit!

 

[Junie]

Good Morning!

Happy Friday!

Snow?

:goes to check weather:

brb

[Junie]

Y'all had me worried for nothing.

No snow in my forecast.  Phew.

My grandmother had a lot of old wives' tales that she used to spout as gospel.

One of them involved early snow.  Something like:

If the first snowfall is before Thanksgiving, the date (Nov. 14., for instance) will tell you how many measurable snowfalls there will be that winter.  So the first snow on the 14th would predict 14 measurable snowfalls.  :willynilly:

Hence, my moment of panic.  :)

[KrissiK]

Good Morning!!!!

COFFEE!!!!~D Did I happen to mention I bought a thing of Peppermint Mocha Creamer????’Tis the Season!!???

Friday!!!

Nothing much going on today. We haven’t had art for a while, I’ve been busy on Fridays for a while. I think we will have art today.

My brother and his wife and daughter live up in the mountains near Sacramento and had to be evacuated. A bad fire just sprang up yesterday and they had to leave their home. They are ok, and they were able to take their animals, too. but i’m Not sure about the status of the fire and when they will be able to go home.

[KrissiK]

1 hour ago, Susan in TN said:

(Shhhhh...don't look now, but there is a snowflake sitting next to Tuesday.)

Snow 

Snow

Snow

Snow

It won’t be long before we’ll all be there with snow!!

Snow

I want to wash my hands, my face and hair with snow!!

(and be riding in a train car with Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye?)

[KrissiK]

6 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

I talked to my son for the first time in two weeks. It was really nice to talk to him. 

So, he’s liking GCU??? Our pastor’s son goes there and seems to like it, a lot, too!!

[Critterfixer]

Morning! NaNo has me writing almost continuously right now. I should pass 30K today. Still querying. Less depressed with the clouds and cool weather. In fact, I almost feel good enough to think about planning the winter term and planning a garden for next year.

[KrissiK]

4 minutes ago, Critterfixer said:

Morning! NaNo has me writing almost continuously right now. I should pass 30K today. Still querying. Less depressed with the clouds and cool weather. In fact, I almost feel good enough to think about planning the winter term and planning a garden for next year.

Critter, you checked in. I was just thinking about you and wondering how you were feeling and there you are and feeling better. Yay!!