Ignore this thread!

[Another Lynn]

(((Jean and Events Planner)))

[Another Lynn]

Yay for Ikslo's ds!!!!

[AMJ]

Good morning. Stoopid dog woke me up early on my sleeping in day. Dd is having more worrisome heart stuff. Everything else is boring.

 

 

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:grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

 

It's a lovin' on Jeannie and her family booya(h)!

Edited January 21, 2017 by AMJ

[Slache]

When did Mary turn 14? I don't remember that happening. Did that happen?

[AMJ]

We schooled.  The girls are now resting their besieged brains and eating lunch.  They have a lot of homework to complete for tomorrow.  DD15 did a bunch of hers yesterday, after I mentioned we were making up for lost time this weekend.  She hates having school work to do on weekends, even when she has had most of a week "off".

[Jean in Newcastle]

I have too much to do.  I guess that I'd better get up and do it.  At least a bit of it.  A tiny bit. 

[ikslo]

Good morning. Stoopid dog woke me up early on my sleeping in day. Dd is having more worrisome heart stuff. Everything else is boring.

 

 

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. :grouphug:

[Slache]

Studying is a complex process when your six month old insists on eating your book as you read it.

[KrissiK]

We just finished eating breakfast. It's 10:15.

 

So, when people tell you to "take care of yourself", "give yourself a break", etc.... what does that mean? Or like with school. You're stressed, exhausted, etc. and you take breaks or do the "minimum"... how does that work? How do you catch up? I am stressed and tired with stuff with my dad and oldest DS and all that and I can't figure out how to "take care of myself." Let housework go? That stresses me even more. A messy house stresses me out. Back off on school? Maybe if I had kindergarteners, but not a 7th grader and a 5th grader. And it's not like we do a bunch of extras, really. I can barely get the "minimum" done. We don't do art of music or basket weaving. I've been having my two oldest each take a day during the week and make lunch, so that's been helping. But they always argue and fight about what to make (I'm making quesadillas, no I wanted to do that on my day, no, I get to....) so that doesn't end up helping all that much. I guess I'm thinking about it because I am stressed (I've been sleeping really late on weekends, which I don't usually do) and I'm just trying to figure out how to do this "self care" thing without it backfiring on me.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I don't know, Krissi.  I've never figured it out. 

[prairiewindmomma]

(((Krissi)))  For me, it means that time confetti all goes to me. I get up an hour earlier, and have silence.  It means that I go to the grocery store by myself.  It means that I don't put up with squabbling between the kids, and I hold them accountable for their cleaning. It means that I make dh take me out for a date (even if it's just the dollar menu at Wendy's).  

 

I'm an introvert, so I need quiet time to recharge.

 

I started with showering daily, and putting on nail polish on my toes.

I've worked up to daily gym time, and getting my eyebrows waxed 4x a year.

[KrissiK]

(((Krissi))) For me, it means that time confetti all goes to me. I get up an hour earlier, and have silence. It means that I go to the grocery store by myself. It means that I don't put up with squabbling between the kids, and I hold them accountable for their cleaning. It means that I make dh take me out for a date (even if it's just the dollar menu at Wendy's).

 

I'm an introvert, so I need quiet time to recharge.

 

I started with showering daily, and putting on nail polish on my toes.

I've worked up to daily gym time, and getting my eyebrows waxed 4x a year.

I am starting to do the grocery thing alone. I have always allowed the kids to go with me because I shop at The Walmart (😩), but it is stressful having them there, even though they all go to the toy section while I'm shopping. So, I'm going to start not letting them go with me all the time. Gives me a little me time.

[lanalouwho]

I shower. That's how I escape them for a few minutes. With DH working overtime, I don't get any other me time until he has a day off.

My little's are still little so I do slack on school if I need to, and use that time to catch up on housework. I'm also less stressed in a tidy house.

Routines help. I'm working on rebuilding my housekeeping routines so I can relax during down times instead of cleaning.

 

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[lanalouwho]

Weapon X just drew a map of how we could all work together to pick up so he can play on his Kindle. He had jobs for himself, his brother and me. He even illustrated what the dogs would be doing (he said the big pups would go outside so they are out of the way, while Scout took a nap by the door.) I think he got his mama's planning gene.

 

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[prairiewindmomma]

Krissi--the other thing I've done is shove most of school onto 4 days of the week. I can't do that with my high schooler, or with every subject with my 5th grader, but by putting the heavy load on 4 days of the week, I have a breather flex day on Friday when I need it.  This is my first year doing it, and I rather like it.  It has made the transition to weekend better, and I have desperately needed my weekends to recharge.

 

There is something about being in the homeschool slog for a decade that has been a changing point for me. I am worn out.  I wish I had realized that I needed to pace myself for the marathon that homeschooling is. It's too easy to burn out after overkilling early elementary, iykwim.

[prairiewindmomma]

The insurance adjuster is here.  I'm stress eating a clif bar.

[Slache]

We just finished eating breakfast. It's 10:15.

 

So, when people tell you to "take care of yourself", "give yourself a break", etc.... what does that mean? Or like with school. You're stressed, exhausted, etc. and you take breaks or do the "minimum"... how does that work? How do you catch up? I am stressed and tired with stuff with my dad and oldest DS and all that and I can't figure out how to "take care of myself." Let housework go? That stresses me even more. A messy house stresses me out. Back off on school? Maybe if I had kindergarteners, but not a 7th grader and a 5th grader. And it's not like we do a bunch of extras, really. I can barely get the "minimum" done. We don't do art of music or basket weaving. I've been having my two oldest each take a day during the week and make lunch, so that's been helping. But they always argue and fight about what to make (I'm making quesadillas, no I wanted to do that on my day, no, I get to....) so that doesn't end up helping all that much. I guess I'm thinking about it because I am stressed (I've been sleeping really late on weekends, which I don't usually do) and I'm just trying to figure out how to do this "self care" thing without it backfiring on me.

If possible I would send hubby and the kids away for 5-7 days. Camping, in laws, homeless shelter, I don't care just get rid of them. The first 2 days are non-stop housework. Make an outline style list and get. it. done. The remaining 3-5 days are yours. Chocolate, drawing, walking in nature, reading twaddle, whatever. Krissi time. Mine was 5 days and Slache time was until 10 AM, the rest of the day was housework, but I don't see that working for most people. Falling behind in school? Get over it. This is more important. You will catch up; it's only a week. Mama comes first because she takes care of everyone else and if everyone is going to be taken care of then mama *must* have her needs met. Must.

[AMJ]

We just finished eating breakfast. It's 10:15.

 

So, when people tell you to "take care of yourself", "give yourself a break", etc.... what does that mean? Or like with school. You're stressed, exhausted, etc. and you take breaks or do the "minimum"... how does that work? How do you catch up? I am stressed and tired with stuff with my dad and oldest DS and all that and I can't figure out how to "take care of myself." Let housework go? That stresses me even more. A messy house stresses me out. Back off on school? Maybe if I had kindergarteners, but not a 7th grader and a 5th grader. And it's not like we do a bunch of extras, really. I can barely get the "minimum" done. We don't do art of music or basket weaving. I've been having my two oldest each take a day during the week and make lunch, so that's been helping. But they always argue and fight about what to make (I'm making quesadillas, no I wanted to do that on my day, no, I get to....) so that doesn't end up helping all that much. I guess I'm thinking about it because I am stressed (I've been sleeping really late on weekends, which I don't usually do) and I'm just trying to figure out how to do this "self care" thing without it backfiring on me.

 

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

I don't care if we eat the same thing for every meal, much less the same thing for lunch twice in the week.  If you both want to make quesadillas then you both make quesadillas.  End of discussion.

 

Tired and can't think?  Take a walk or a nap, even if only for 10 minutes.  Set a timer and keep it next to you if you are worried about going over.

 

Schedule certain basic things.  It comes down to micromanaging the small details of the day, but if it's scheduled you don't have to think about it, you just do it.  Quick swipe of toilet and sink at 8 AM.  Load of laundry into washer at 8:05 AM.  Math class at 9 AM -- if the kid isn't ready then tough, deal with it.  What are the core tasks that you get bothered by when they aren't done "on time"?  Pick a time and schedule them in.  Feel free to assign some of them to the kids, but the kids must do them on schedule until they prove they will do them completely on their own without reminder if you let them set the time for the task themselves.  (I'm working on all of this myself.  *wink*)

 

If I can't seem to think my way through getting things identified and scheduled I just go with the what-is-bothering-me-most-right-here mode and do SOMETHING to address that pesky detail.  Even if it is cover the laundry in the basket with a towel because I really need that nap.  I am getting to the point more frequently, though, of assigning the folding and putting away to one of the kids (whomever is available) instead of covering the basket over.

 

 

 

That's all I can think of right now, and it's not like I have all of this in place myself and running smoothly.  I'm going to finish catching up a little and go nap for a bit.  I'm drowsy and everyone else can just deal for a bit.

[AMJ]

I am starting to do the grocery thing alone. I have always allowed the kids to go with me because I shop at The Walmart (😩), but it is stressful having them there, even though they all go to the toy section while I'm shopping. So, I'm going to start not letting them go with me all the time. Gives me a little me time.

 

 

My aunt used to relish rush hour traffic on the main highways of the city in which she lived because it was guaranteed alone time with no distractions (coming home from a volunteer position).  This was before cell phones, when even car phones were very rare.  I suspect she would stop off for a coffee, too, sometimes, if traffic moved more smoothly and quickly than usual.

[AMJ]

Krissi--the other thing I've done is shove most of school onto 4 days of the week. I can't do that with my high schooler, or with every subject with my 5th grader, but by putting the heavy load on 4 days of the week, I have a breather flex day on Friday when I need it.  This is my first year doing it, and I rather like it.  It has made the transition to weekend better, and I have desperately needed my weekends to recharge.

 

There is something about being in the homeschool slog for a decade that has been a changing point for me. I am worn out.  I wish I had realized that I needed to pace myself for the marathon that homeschooling is. It's too easy to burn out after overkilling early elementary, iykwim.

 

 

Our first year homeschooling I scheduled us 4 days a week and loved having Fridays for other purposes.  We couldn't keep that up, however.

 

This year, though, I was so wiped out I decided that certain content subjects the girls could study on their own, so we discuss those in depth on Mondays and I tell them the next week's assignments (which are pretty predictable, so they can even work ahead and know what to do).  

[AMJ]

The insurance adjuster is here.  I'm stress eating a clif bar.

 

 

:grouphug:   I'm glad he/she is there, finally.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I only have two and they are both teens so I'm in a different place than many of you.  But I haven't seen a truly clean house in  years.  I've given up stressing about it.  Today both kids are gone for the day - dd to volunteering and ds to look at cars with his college friend.  I talked to my eldest sister while folding and putting away laundry.  And I was able to help her with her Japanese (which she is studying on her own). 

[Susan in TN]

(((Krissi)))

 

Sometimes I have to just keep breathing until the stressful feelings subside - it might take days of just hanging on. Then I take another deep breath and somehow I can let some things go and work other things in and rearrange other things. I have no explanation other than God must be working a miracle in my heart.

[Junie]

(((Events Planner)))

[Susan in TN]

We went on a hike at a new park that we found by accident. We started out looking for a trail that a friend told me about but spent a half hour driving through a huge neighborhood and asking varous people where to find it but never could. So we drove to the Natchez Trace to go to a trail there and drove by a county park that the guy said had been there for 2 years. 2 YEARS?!?! How could it have been there for that long and we are just now finding it? I feel like such a slacker.

 

So we are home now, kids have had lunch. I've practiced my orchestra music again but still haven't gotten though all of it yet. I need to fill the birdfeeders and then maybe read a bit.

[Junie]

(((Krissi)))

 

I almost never take kids to Walmart.

 

My house is not as clean as I'd like.  I could sing "Let it Go" for you, but then we'd all have another earworm.

 

Quiet time is Every Day from 2-4.  I need some time when people don't talk to me.  (And I'm an extrovert!)

 

For school, you could alternate science and history, such as history one week and science the next.  Or you could alternate by day.

[Critterfixer]

I am here. I worked. The dog that ate the rock is fine. No further rocks apparent.

 

 

So, when people tell you to "take care of yourself", "give yourself a break", etc.... what does that mean? Or like with school. You're stressed, exhausted, etc. and you take breaks or do the "minimum"... how does that work? How do you catch up? I am stressed and tired with stuff with my dad and oldest DS and all that and I can't figure out how to "take care of myself." Let housework go? That stresses me even more. A messy house stresses me out. Back off on school? Maybe if I had kindergarteners, but not a 7th grader and a 5th grader. And it's not like we do a bunch of extras, really. I can barely get the "minimum" done. We don't do art of music or basket weaving. I've been having my two oldest each take a day during the week and make lunch, so that's been helping. But they always argue and fight about what to make (I'm making quesadillas, no I wanted to do that on my day, no, I get to....) so that doesn't end up helping all that much. I guess I'm thinking about it because I am stressed (I've been sleeping really late on weekends, which I don't usually do) and I'm just trying to figure out how to do this "self care" thing without it backfiring on me. 

 

 

Mostly it means identifying what is creating stress and making sure you have the resources to cope with it. Top on my list of good coping strategies include exercise, extra rest, quiet time, and some form of meditative experience (waterfalls, painting, prayer.) Those things are like good medicine. You need to take them every day, and don't forget to take them. Even if it is two minutes standing and watching the rain fall outside, be in those two minutes and don't think about anything else. Don't try to be getting ahead on laundry when you have quiet time in the morning. Don't be thinking about what to make for dinner when you are taking a walk. Focus on yourself and on the moment.

 

That's what it means to me, anyway.

 

I've got to get a little planning for next week done, then I'm going to have a shower. I'm not going to fix anything for dinner. I might let the boys cook. After that I'll probably write a little bit and try to work on some of the rocks around the pool in my painting. They are going to be lovely.

 

[Slache]

I don't think homeschoolers really have clean homes. I just don't think life works that way. I don't think I can be a good mother and a good teacher and a good wife and a good cook and a good housekeeper. If I taught all the kids the same thing at the same time, cooked the same thing every night and owned like 200 items I think it could work. I've known one woman to do all the things and she had a mental break down about 4 years ago and still cries every day. But her house sure looked good! No advice with this post, just something to chew on.

[Another Lynn]

(((Krissi)))

 

I was gone all day.  First to drop ds at a chess tourney, then to breakfast out with friends, then back to the chess tourney.  Just now got home (4:30ish).  You should see my dishes and my sink.  Actually you can't see my sink.  I might post a picture before I load the d/w.  You also can't see my bathroom floor because of the dirty clothes - that's just the ones that haven't been brought downstairs yet.  There are several loads already piling up by the washer.  AND my Mom took a few loads to her house for me.  You have all this, plus an older one giving you grey hair and your Dad's recent health issues.  (By the way, how is he?  Did I miss that he came home?  Did his confusion improve?)  I have a deposit in my purse I've been meaning to deposit for 2 weeks - how terrible is that!  My ds's car needs work and I still haven't made the appt yet (will have to trade cars with him for the day and make that the day that everyone at home has a day off from "mom" subjects.).  I need to buy Turbo Tax, and find all my 2016 tax documents (I thought I started a folder for that, but can't find it now of course.).  I need to start folders for 2017 stuff.  I need to deal with some other financial paper work stuff - boring details - blah, blah, blah.  I need to think about calling a contractor to come look at my basement and figure out if that's something we can afford to deal with or not.  My 13yo needs a trip back to the ortho for a wire that came off on Thursday.  My 11yo says we never do anything and can't understand why we don't have time to get together with all his friends everyday of the week (slight exaggeration).  

 

Okay, I don't know about you, but I feel better now just typing all that, lol.  

 

Taking care of self - my list is probably a little like PRairie's - I get up early every day to have coffee and quiet alone.  I take a shower every day (wash hair every other) and do at least some make up every day.  I get hi-lights when needed and a pedicure 3 or 4 times/year.  I don't make lunch for anyone.  They are totally on their own for breakfast and lunch for better or for worse.  I go to the grocery alone or possibly with one ds to help.  The one thing I think that would help me, but I haven't done it in nearly a year is regular exercise time. 

 

Kind of funny, but my ds's basketball coach was asking me the other day what I do for fun.... he was not exactly putting down my lifestyle choices (staying home, taking kids somewhere every night), but perhaps trying to understand it.  I mentioned going for a "moms' night out" every now and then with friends - talking about parenting and homeschooling.  He said, "So you leave home to talk to other people about what they do at their home, lol."  I'm not a person who really values "fun."  (And I know that's not what you're asking about).  I value purpose and accomplishment, doing what is right, saying what is true.  But, I do miss C25K - it was invigorating to accomplish something that doesn't come easily, that totally depended on myself and no one else, etc.  (Sorry, I digress....)

 

Anyway, I don't really have a good answer.  Just wanted to say that I feel the stress creeping up on me too - maybe February hitting a few days early!   :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

Edited January 21, 2017 by Another Lynn

[Jean in Newcastle]

I have one homeschooling friend who has an immaculate house. But she has no illness and she uses Abeka dvds exclusively. And it is her gift. Can cleaning be a gift?

 

 

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[ikslo]

Life's to short to spend it constantly cleaning.

[Slache]

I have one homeschooling friend who has an immaculate house. But she has no illness and she uses Abeka dvds exclusively. And it is her gift. Can cleaning be a gift?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yes! It is my gift, but Babiness. Abeka DVDs are not nearly as time consuming as what I have planned.   

Life's to short to spend it constantly cleaning.

:iagree:

[Critterfixer]

Y'all need to read Overwhelmed. I don't agree with everything in there, but it's an eye-opening read about the lives of women and the epidemic of business. For what it is worth, she makes a point about women needing to take time to play. Women have really never had a culture of playing. Everything is exercise, or socializing, or wrapped up in something for the children. It was a thought to chew on for me. My play was always being outside, imagining stories and inventing worlds. Oh, and digging in the dirt. I'd love to take up gardening again soon, but when I do, it will be because I want to dig in the dirt, not because I want to grow bunches of healthy food for the family. I happen to like growing vegetables, but I foresee a garden that is mostly sunflowers and cosmos, because I like cut flowers. And maybe some single roses growing up and over my chicken house because I love to smell roses.

 

I think that some people do have gifts when it comes to cleaning. But it usually has to do with having developed the fastest and most efficient ways of cleaning. I developed a few of those things, invested in some good tools for the job, and called it good. I don't want to get better at baseboards. I want to get better at writing and painting because I love writing and painting. But I don't think the house has to go when you need to cut back. It just might have to get more streamlined and easier to deal with in some way. I haven't cleaned the boys' room or bathroom in forever. Is it perfect when they clean it? No. But it'll do.

[Critterfixer]

I am almost done with planning. I have to finish some cards for French, harvest some questions for history, print those, and then I get my shower. I may not get to writing today, but that's okay. If I had it would have been gravy.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I think that I would enjoy play a lot more if it wasn't so much work.

 

 

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[Slache]

I think that I would enjoy play a lot more if it wasn't so much work.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Change your play. I like to make charts and organize things like school plans, debt, vacations we can't afford. I like to read books out loud to the kids in foreign accents. I like to throw things away. I like teA. I like movies about the middle ages. Play is supposed to be what you like, not what someone else says you're supposed to like. It doesn't have to be work.

[Slache]

I think that I would enjoy play a lot more if it wasn't so much work.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Actually, come to think of it, you're playing right now.

[Critterfixer]

I just thought of another play I haven't engaged in for some time. I like to play the piano. I'm not good at it, but I like to play, and I like to make up duets with the wind-chimes on the front porch. I like to work puzzles now and then. My play isn't particularly rambunctious. :laugh:

[Critterfixer]

School planning is done. Eating some dinner and working on the meal planning. Then I'm all planned, and I can play all day tomorrow! I might play at designing my garden and picking out seeds for my sunflowers, I'll write for a while, and then paint.

[Another Lynn]

I think that I would enjoy play a lot more if it wasn't so much work.

 

 

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I can't think of any kind of play I like.  

 

I like classical musical concerts.

 

I like treats - food and drink.

 

Sometimes, I like to work algebra problems.  

 

Sometimes I enjoy reading, but sometimes I'm not in the mood to deal with new people and new conflicts.  I'd almost rather re-read an old book than start a new one.  

[prairiewindmomma]

Our insurance claim was approved. :hurray:  Now we just need to get all of the work done.  (We couldn't get the work done until the adjuster came out.)

[Slache]

I just read the Spanish version of Little Red Riding Hood and IT DID NOT HAVE THE SAME ENDING! My children are scarred.

[Junie]

I just read the Spanish version of Little Red Riding Hood and IT DID NOT HAVE THE SAME ENDING! My children are scarred.

 

Which ending did it have?  Which ending are you used to?

[Junie]

Our insurance claim was approved. :hurray:  Now we just need to get all of the work done.  (We couldn't get the work done until the adjuster came out.)

 

:hurray:  :hurray:  :hurray:

[KrissiK]

Thank you for all your responses. I think I will get that book, Critter. I see one commonality in all your posts and that is of being more intentional about things. And being more firm about things. I am the sort of person who's a pleaser. I want everyone to be happy and I want peace. But I want peace and order in the things I look at (my house is by no means clean, even when it is "clean") and clutter gets me stressed. KWIM? But, i don't play. I rarely do things just for pleasure. Even when I read I make sure I read books that are good for me. Most of the time I enjoy them, and I revel in a good Harry Bosch, but still.... I guess I don't feel like I have any good outlets.

[Slache]

Which ending did it have? Which ending are you used to?

I'm used to the grandmother surviving. In this one she died and Red spent the weekend with her grandmother's ghost.

[Junie]

I'm used to the grandmother surviving. In this one she died and Red spent the weekend with her grandmother's ghost.

 

  :blink:  :scared:  :zombiechase:

[Slache]

Play (for Jean and everybody) : http://twentytwowords.com/parents-share-the-most-hilariously-embarrassing-things-their-kids-have-said-in-public/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=bpm&utm_campaign=bpm

[Slache]

Thank you for all your responses. I think I will get that book, Critter. I see one commonality in all your posts and that is of being more intentional about things. And being more firm about things. I am the sort of person who's a pleaser. I want everyone to be happy and I want peace. But I want peace and order in the things I look at (my house is by no means clean, even when it is "clean") and clutter gets me stressed. KWIM? But, i don't play. I rarely do things just for pleasure. Even when I read I make sure I read books that are good for me. Most of the time I enjoy them, and I revel in a good Harry Bosch, but still.... I guess I don't feel like I have any good outlets.

You can't make anyone else happy. Don't try. Be a good mom and if they choose to be crappy that's their choice. Just don't take it personally and don't over exert yourself to make someone else happy.

[Slache]

Oh, Krissi! I have a good play/outlet to start. I love to lie in bed and play with my husband. I don't mean teA, just hanging out. The kids are in their beds or watching a movie and we're just in bed. Talking, smooching, laughing, venting and cuddling. It's free. :D