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Prof. Baby wearers- help me choose something for a strange situation?


Kerileanne99
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I have been reading about baby wearing and slings. I did do some of it with my dd5, but hated the sort of pack thing we had with myriad plastic buckles and straps. And my situation made it very uncomfortable so it was only used for safety in specific situations:

 

I use a manual wheelchair primarily, although I also have an electric for really bad days. When Alex was a baby (and often still!) we never used a stroller. She was always in my lap, which I found was really fantastic. I could snuggle, constantly talk to her about what she was seeing in real time, and generally be close to her. This works best when we are out as a family and dh prefers to push me, at least over rough terrain or when I get tired.

The problem of course, is that I need my arms to wheel! Generally Alex learned very quickly to sit still with me, I used the pack thing, or a type of wheelchair seatbelt around the both of us. Obviously, for an infant, I am only comfortable with baby physically strapped to me:)

 

So...can the Hive help me find something that will be a much better solution? I need something that is super soft with no large buckles or adjustments, holds baby fairly high in a seated position so it doesn't hurt my hips OR pinch little legs (and I tend to need to bend slightly forward to get momentum when I roll), and is very stable/versatile. I can't tell you how many times I have had to suddenly grab Alex to keep her from falling over a bump when she was tiny:(, so I am particularly worried about stability when I am moving and my hands are occupied.

 

in addition, I need to make sure when I am transferring and getting to the floor (often to play more easily!) that baby won't be in danger of tipping out!

 

Does this sound doable?

Bonus points for being easily washable and easy to get baby in/out of by myself. Not too hot as well as we live in Texas! Baby due date is April 20th, but will probably be born much earlier due to placenta previa--which may mean a smaller baby if that makes a difference in the beginning.

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When DS was a newborn I was in a wheelchair for 3 months. I used a moby wrap http://mobywrap.com/. I had used it with DD when she was a baby, so I was already very proficient in using it. It is a very long piece of fabric but it is t-shirt like, very soft and you can tie it pretty tight, with no bounce, and still it can be elastic and soft with no pressure points because the fabric is  and stretchy and you can spread it around your body parts. 

 

Because the baby is so close to you and because you can adjust the top edge of the wrap, transferring to the floor, with some degree of leaning over, can be very secure.

 

Any baby carrier will be hot when it is hot, so that's a problem. Another problem could be tying it. You can pre-tie and insert the baby into it, like into a pocket, and then pull the criss-crossing fabric over for extra security. Or you can tie while holding your baby to your chest, but for this it is best to stand as you need to swing the ends of the wrap all around. It is actually not as difficult, when you develop a routine. I practiced with a teddy bear at some point.

 

Another thing you can try is buying a lighter weight t-shirt fabric (the moby is heavy weight) and just having it in the right width and length. If you tie it well it will still be safe and secure, especially for a tiny baby.

 

I've used probably every carrier available in my days, and the t-shirt fabric wraps are my most favorite. 

 

ETA: it is extremely versatile, and you can have your baby facing outwards or towards you, or even sitting somewhat sideways in it.

 

 

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My suggestion would be a mei tai or possibly a shoulder sling. A wrap would probably be too difficult to maneuver in and out of from the chair. The shoulder sling would be easiest to get on and off, but when you bend over it would swing away from your body and without an extra hand to support that could be dangerous. 

 

Here are a couple links:

 

http://meitaibaby.com/gallery.html

 

http://slinglings.com

 

ETA: the slingling link doesn't seem to be valid anymore, but you could look at a ring sling which would essentially work the same way. In fact it might even be better because it's adjustable. But like I said before it will swing away from your body when you bend over. 

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My suggestion would be a mei tai or possibly a shoulder sling. A wrap would probably be too difficult to maneuver in and out of from the chair. The shoulder sling would be easiest to get on and off, but when you bend over it would swing away from your body and without an extra hand to support that could be dangerous. 

 

Here are a couple links:

 

http://meitaibaby.com/gallery.html

 

http://slinglings.com

 

A shoulder sling is very tricky to have secure in a sitting position. The edges can be tighten individually enough to create a very secure pouch, but the pouch itself is rather separate from the body, and creates a bit of an extra bounce that I didn't feel very comfortable with while in the wheelchair, especially when I need to lean forward. 

 

A wrap, like a moby, secures the baby to the mother's body very snugly and there's also shoulder support for the baby with the crisscrossing parts of the fabric.

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A ring sling might work well for you, and is pretty versatile. It does have a large ring, but I wasn't sure if that would be an issue since it will be in the front and not on the back between you and the chair.

 

A Moby wrap might be another option. It is very soft and versatile. Some carries require it to be tied in the back at your waist, but I think that could be worked around if you had a longer piece of fabric.

 

And the third option I can think of is a mei tai carrier. Again, you might run into issues with the ties being knotted at the back but could maybe work around with longer ties. I would imagine there are a number of sellers at Etsy that could work with you on a custom order so you could get longer ties.

 

HTH! And congrats on the new baby!

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Also, if you google "babywearing in wheelchair" there are some images, including a moby-like wrap wearer.

 

Good luck with finding what works best for you!

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A shoulder sling is very tricky to have secure in a sitting position. The edges can be tighten individually enough to create a very secure pouch, but the pouch itself is rather separate from the body, and creates a bit of an extra bounce that I didn't feel very comfortable with while in the wheelchair, especially when I need to lean forward. 

 

A wrap, like a moby, secures the baby to the mother's body very snugly and there's also shoulder support for the baby with the crisscrossing parts of the fabric.

 

I agree, that's why I suggested a mei tai first. It's just as secure as a wrap, but a lot less fabric to have to deal with. 

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I ditto the suggestion of a mei tai. It's my go to for when children are little. When they get bigger (somewhere between 15 and 20 lbs) I switch to using my Boba carrier.

If baby isn't going into the carrier immediately, you can still pre-tie the bottom straps. Then, when ready, arrange baby, and tie the top straps appropriately. 
 

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I agree, that's why I suggested a mei tai first. It's just as secure as a wrap, but a lot less fabric to have to deal with. 

 

True, a mei tai should be very secure.

 

I just couldn't fall in love with a mei tai--I tried several. With a wrap, with now pressure points at all, I practically didn't even feel I had a carrier on--I could spread the fabric to be like a tight but comfortable t-shirt.

 

But all this fabric can be intimidating in the beginning.

 

 

 

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I haven't tried one personally, but the Baby K'tan looks like it would fit your criteria.  It looks like it holds the baby similarly to a Moby wrap, but it would be easier to put on in a seated position. There's a "breeze" version that is made of mesh and should be a little less hot in the summer.  

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True, a mei tai should be very secure.

 

I just couldn't fall in love with a mei tai--I tried several. With a wrap, with now pressure points at all, I practically didn't even feel I had a carrier on--I could spread the fabric to be like a tight but comfortable t-shirt.

 

But all this fabric can be intimidating in the beginning.

 

 

Exactly. Personally I prefer wraps over every other type of carrier. I have too many.  :lol:  But I have tried putting them on while seated and it is really a pain in the butt! Plus I've found that not everyone who wants a carrier is interested in pushing past the steeper learning curve that exists for wrapping. 

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Baby K'Tan maybe? It's pretty much a pre-made wrap/pouch thing. Free returns on Amazon.

 

There are baby wearing groups that meet periodically to help people. You could find one and try a bunch IRL.

 

This looks great! Wasn't available in my days.

 

I might be a bit worried about it being polyester rather than cotton in terms of how breathable it is and how well it spreads over the shoulders, but might not be an issue.

 

Also, what I love about the actual wraps is that the wearer can control how high or low it is, and how tight it is (saggy, vs. very supportive, for example). Plus you can have a tummy to tummy with legs in, or out, and also sit the baby facing forward, in a sitting position. Which is what i did a lot when DS was about 3 month old. Though the most secure position, in terms of getting out of the wheelchair and leaning forward is the tummy to tummy one.

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Great points guys!

I hadn't even really considered the ties in back, but yes, that could be quite a problem. First off, I cannot stand to do the wraps or tiesI see in the videos and pictures. Also, bulky ties or buckles behind my back would be extremely uncomfortable if not impossible to deal with:(

 

It looks like ring sling seems to be the most practical looking---but very worrisome for moving, bending, and transferring:(

 

One other thing-I do have an internal metal pump embedded under the skin in my abdomen on the right side. The skin is really thin there as I don't have much extra body fat, so I have to be careful about 'rubbing' and breakdown of skin. So definitely a sling that allows for repositioning. At least as much as a seated position allows.

I am thinking that what will work for a tiny infant is not going to work for me with a larger, squirmier baby with longer legs. I do remember that with Alex we had to turn her front facing very early because of this?

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Baby K'Tan maybe? It's pretty much a pre-made wrap/pouch thing. Free returns on Amazon.

 

There are baby wearing groups that meet periodically to help people. You could find one and try a bunch IRL.

This actually looks great! Kind of a mix between the two most popular styles, and might be the best solution since I can't stand up to tie. I can't see from the pics online how the back works though. Can you tell me if it is cloth or a buckle?

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When DS was a newborn I was in a wheelchair for 3 months. I used a moby wrap http://mobywrap.com/. I had used it with DD when she was a baby, so I was already very proficient in using it. It is a very long piece of fabric but it is t-shirt like, very soft and you can tie it pretty tight, with no bounce, and still it can be elastic and soft with no pressure points because the fabric is and stretchy and you can spread it around your body parts.

 

Because the baby is so close to you and because you can adjust the top edge of the wrap, transferring to the floor, with some degree of leaning over, can be very secure.

 

Any baby carrier will be hot when it is hot, so that's a problem. Another problem could be tying it. You can pre-tie and insert the baby into it, like into a pocket, and then pull the criss-crossing fabric over for extra security. Or you can tie while holding your baby to your chest, but for this it is best to stand as you need to swing the ends of the wrap all around. It is actually not as difficult, when you develop a routine. I practiced with a teddy bear at some point.

 

Another thing you can try is buying a lighter weight t-shirt fabric (the moby is heavy weight) and just having it in the right width and length. If you tie it well it will still be safe and secure, especially for a tiny baby.

 

I've used probably every carrier available in my days, and the t-shirt fabric wraps are my most favorite.

 

ETA: it is extremely versatile, and you can have your baby facing outwards or towards you, or even sitting somewhat sideways in it.

Thanks so much for weighing in here, especially with experience with a baby and a wheelchair! So many things that look like they might work do not actually work in reality:) I think the idea of practicing on a teddy bear or doll now is a great idea.

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I agree that a wrap is the most secure carrier and probably best suited to the safety needs you have.  When I used mine with our babies, I would usually put it on before leaving the house - it was more a part of getting dressed than an accessory (if that makes any sense - I mean if you shift your thinking to it being something you put on like clothes instead of it being an accessory it might be easier to get over the hump of learning to get it on).

 

I did sometimes use my down vest as an improvised carrier - It had a little extra room in it for me, and I could zip it up and baby could peek their head out facing forward (so baby was a little older then).  I actually thought that this would work really well as a carrier all the time IF a person had an elastic/secure closure at the bottom of the vest.  In a wheelchair you wouldn't need that, since the weight would generally rest on your lap, so I would think it could be a really great, easy carrier for you.  I'm sure if you wanted to make it more official there would be some way to lock the zipper in place or something.  And I know a down vest isn't right for hot weather - but if you consider the shape of it and either get the same out of a similarly forgiving/supportive fabric or wait until winter, it could work well.

 

 

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This actually looks great! Kind of a mix between the two most popular styles, and might be the best solution since I can't stand up to tie. I can't see from the pics online how the back works though. Can you tell me if it is cloth or a buckle?

I am pretty sure it's all cloth. Mine is MIA (and I've been searching for it for months, gah!), so I can't check for sure. Here's a pic of the back: http://www.babygearlab.com/Baby-Carrier-Reviews/Baby-Ktan

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Since I prefer 2 shouldered carriers, I would also suggest the Baby K'tan for the newborn stage.  The main part involves no tying or excess material.  Then on top of that is a sash that you tie around you; this keeps the baby super close to you and you can position it where you want it on the babe.

 

The Baby K'tan is polyester?!?  Maybe you are looking at the "Breeze" model, but the original design just felt like soft jersey/knit material to me.  I think it's got a good deal of cotton in it (if not mostly cotton) because you have to wash it regularly to "shrink" it back to its snug size. 

 

It spreads over the shoulders very nicely - like a wrap would.  You can bunch it up to make them into straps or you can spread it out and cup your shoulders.

 

Once the babe gets too big for the K'tan, then I go to a soft structured carrier (Boba or an old-style Angelpack is what I use).  Mei Tais are great in my ideal world, but in real life with all the craziness around me, I'm too impatient to tie straps and make sure they don't get in puddles, etc.

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Exactly. Personally I prefer wraps over every other type of carrier. I have too many. :lol: But I have tried putting them on while seated and it is really a pain in the butt! Plus I've found that not everyone who wants a carrier is interested in pushing past the steeper learning curve that exists for wrapping.

This is my biggest concern! As 67_Others said, the Moby looks perfect for an infant in a wheelchair, but I have serious doubts I can manage all that fabric whilst sitting in a chair and possibly balancing a baby!

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This looks great! Wasn't available in my days.

 

I might be a bit worried about it being polyester rather than cotton in terms of how breathable it is and how well it spreads over the shoulders, but might not be an issue.

 

Also, what I love about the actual wraps is that the wearer can control how high or low it is, and how tight it is (saggy, vs. very supportive, for example). Plus you can have a tummy to tummy with legs in, or out, and also sit the baby facing forward, in a sitting position. Which is what i did a lot when DS was about 3 month old. Though the most secure position, in terms of getting out of the wheelchair and leaning forward is the tummy to tummy one.

I think it's 100% cotton. There's also an organic version. :)

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This actually looks great! Kind of a mix between the two most popular styles, and might be the best solution since I can't stand up to tie. I can't see from the pics online how the back works though. Can you tell me if it is cloth or a buckle?

The k'tan has no buckles. It's two circles/loops of fabric linked by a small fabric circle that keeps it all together. (Think like a chain link of varying sized links, like this crude sketch --> OoO) The small fabric circle also serves as an adjustment point for your comfort. You decide if you like it higher on your back or lower in your back. (I liked to pull it down once I got the babe in it. )

 

It's super snugly; you'll be wanting to kiss your babes head nonstop!

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I would think it would be very difficult to tie a Moby Wrap or Mei Ti while in a wheelchair, personally I think a ring sling would be the easiest, I don't think it is great for when the baby is older as the weight isn't distributed well but for little ones it isn't bad if you get it on well. Perhaps the K'tan, looking at the pictures but I've never seen one/put one on in person so it is hard to say going by pictures.

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This is my biggest concern! As 67_Others said, the Moby looks perfect for an infant in a wheelchair, but I have serious doubts I can manage all that fabric whilst sitting in a chair and possibly balancing a baby!

 

Are you able to sit on a side of the bed while tying it, with your baby on the bed next to you? What about pre-tying it in the morning and just wearing it through the day?

 

The way my upper body moved in the wheel chair made me feel quite insecure about wearing a sling, but your arms are probably much stronger and you are more used to the position. But the electric wheelchair would eliminate that problem.

 

I know the tying is intimidating, but really, there isn't much to it. It would be overwhelming to practice it with a squirming new born, but practicing with a toy or even a pillow makes it stress free. The motions of swinging the fabric can be quite minimalistic and precise, as you will learn what edge to grab and where.

 

I remember practicing back carry with a wrap with a large teddy bear, just making sure I was getting the movement right, and it took me about 8 times.

 

So if you do come to the conclusion that you'd like a wrap, don't be too intimidated by it. You can spread the fabric that goes around your waist and it won't bunch up, and you can tie at the front.

 

Good luck!

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Since you can't stand, I wouldn't do a mei tai. Maybe a wrap, if you can reach behind you, because you could cross it behind you but tie it in the front. I love wraps for tiny babies; you could have the baby facing you, snuggled to your chest, vertically, very comfortably and securely, in a wrap, and it would probably be fine even when you lean forward a bit. A stretchy wrap like a Moby is nice to pretie for frequent in and out with a tiny baby, and a woven wrap is supportive for long term for sleeping slightly older babies (really great for those length naps at about the 2-6 month stage).

 

But I would also have a ring sling on hand. Once the baby has good head control, I think you could easily use a ring sling, wrapped around the two of you, and that would help to provide the extra balance for when you shift or lean forward. I'm assuming that your lap will hold most of the baby's weight, so you won't need the sling to do it, which means you could use a lightweight sling, and it wouldn't be too hot. I like a ring sling for a newborn too. You can also easily use the ring sling to shift the baby to one side of your lap or the other as needed too. I think you wouldn't even need to have the sling over your shoulder all the time, but around your waist and the baby, like a giant belt.

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Since you can't stand, I wouldn't do a mei tai. Maybe a wrap, if you can reach behind you, because you could cross it behind you but tie it in the front. I love wraps for tiny babies; you could have the baby facing you, snuggled to your chest, vertically, very comfortably and securely, in a wrap, and it would probably be fine even when you lean forward a bit. A stretchy wrap like a Moby is nice to pretie for frequent in and out with a tiny baby, and a woven wrap is supportive for long term for sleeping slightly older babies (really great for those length naps at about the 2-6 month stage).

 

But I would also have a ring sling on hand. Once the baby has good head control, I think you could easily use a ring sling, wrapped around the two of you, and that would help to provide the extra balance for when you shift or lean forward. I'm assuming that your lap will hold most of the baby's weight, so you won't need the sling to do it, which means you could use a lightweight sling, and it wouldn't be too hot. I like a ring sling for a newborn too. You can also easily use the ring sling to shift the baby to one side of your lap or the other as needed too. I think you wouldn't even need to have the sling over your shoulder all the time, but around your waist and the baby, like a giant belt.

 

Just to clarify that something like a Moby wrap is great up to 2-3 year years old (back carry for bigger toddlers.) It is a bit of a misconception that it is not for bigger babies. I had several Moby wraps and several woven wraps from Germany, and DH and I used them well into toddlerhood as we hiked a lot and wanted to be able to comfortably wear our kids. Moby, if done correctly, is really amazing for heavier babies.

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I'd get a mei tai/asian style baby carrier. That's what my little guy is in in my avatar (the one he's in I handmade). If you make your own or have it made by someone on etsy, you can order it with extra long waist straps, which means you can wrap it around and tie it in front instead of having the knot at your back. A mei tai can be used to hold a little one up on your chest, or, when they get bigger, you can turn them around to face out (either if the body isn't too wide, or by giving it a half-twist in the right spot to let their legs have more freedom) sitting in your lap. If the shoulder straps are long enough, they go up over your shoulders, criss-cross your back, and come back around front to tie behind baby's back or butt. It provides a four or six-point restraint for the child depending upon how it's tied.

 

I also find it a lot easier and less hot to wear than a wrap, because it's not as much fabric around you.

 

A lot of people think mostly of back carries with a mei tai, but I front carried mine a long time (and nursed them in it), often so I could also wear a backpack while wearing the baby.

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I would suggest first a Bali baby stretch wrap-- like a Moby but more supportive. You can put it in before you get in your wheelchair and easily slip baby in. I loved ring slings but it may not be wisest while you have no available hands with a wiggly baby.

A woven wrap in a kangaroo carry is also a good option.

 

If not a wrap then a mei tai that you could tie in front so it's not bulky to sit on.

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I didn't read the thread but I would look at the baby k'tan. It's most of the benefit of a wrap but without the long fabric to wrap which I think might be somewhat awkward for you. I love mine more than any other carrier and I've been baby wearing for 18 years. I've used everything. ;)

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Another idea I just had would be a Onbuhimo.  It's origins are from Japan.  It's like a Mei Tai, but instead of a set of ties at the bottom of the carrier body there are rings.  So you take the shoulder straps, put them over your shoulder, then run them down and through the rings and tie off.  

 

Since they have fallen out of favor they can be hard to find.  If you are interested in trying one, PM me!

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I had a friend in a fully motorized wheelchair with VERY limited arm movement.

She used one of the horrific mass-produced "bad" kinds we all love to hate.  And you know what?  I'm totally cool with that.  Special circumstances get passes on the normal babywearing lectures.  ;)

 

I wouldn't recommend a pouch for use with a newborn.  It's very difficult to use them safely for a newborn.

 

I would recommend asking on thebabywearer forum for input from moms who've done this.  They may have some good input and tips.  I would also recommend working with a sewing friend to see what you can rig up that's personalized for your situation.

 

Once you have an older child, I'd design a front-facing cloth harness or seatbelt system for them that's easy to buckle/unbuckle for use when they're riding on you--might save you having to grab for them!

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I agree that a wrap is the most secure carrier and probably best suited to the safety needs you have. When I used mine with our babies, I would usually put it on before leaving the house - it was more a part of getting dressed than an accessory (if that makes any sense - I mean if you shift your thinking to it being something you put on like clothes instead of it being an accessory it might be easier to get over the hump of learning to get it on).

 

I did sometimes use my down vest as an improvised carrier - It had a little extra room in it for me, and I could zip it up and baby could peek their head out facing forward (so baby was a little older then). I actually thought that this would work really well as a carrier all the time IF a person had an elastic/secure closure at the bottom of the vest. In a wheelchair you wouldn't need that, since the weight would generally rest on your lap, so I would think it could be a really great, easy carrier for you. I'm sure if you wanted to make it more official there would be some way to lock the zipper in place or something. And I know a down vest isn't right for hot weather - but if you consider the shape of it and either get the same out of a similarly forgiving/supportive fabric or wait until winter, it could work well.

I love the idea of the vest:)

I will have to see what I can come up with!

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Thanks again everyone for the ideas!

I have a feeling it may end up being a bit of a trial and error process so I am glad I have some time to practice on dd's dolls and stuffed animals!

I think I will try the K'Tan and maybe a Moby wrap if I can figure out the tying process in front. It looks as though there are hundreds of YouTube tutorials:) I like the idea that I might be able to modify it later when baby is a squirmy toddler to work as a seatbelt/soft restraint for safety when riding in my lap!

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I haven't read every reply fully, so apologies if I'm repeating anything.

 

I'm a manual wheelchair user too. :) I was still ambulating when my kid was tiny, but I've worn other babies in my chair, and have done my fair share of rolling with a wee one on my lap.

 

Any stretchy wrap can be tied on at the beginning of the day, and a tiny baby can be lifted in and out at any time. I used to get about nearly naked underneath, for lots of snuggly skin to skin time. Once the baby gets a bit bigger, though, it gets a bit draggy on the shoulders. I would find this even harder in a chair than when I was upright, and I'd be concerned about upper back and shoulder RSI, which no wheelie wants nor needs!

 

I would definitely not use any one-shoulder carries in a wheelchair, simply because of the risk of straining the load-bearing shoulder.

 

ETA: I just reread your OP and noted the electric wheelchair (sorry, bad short term memory atm). A stretchy wrap on the front would work for a bigger baby on your lap just fine in an electric chair. You'd use the same method of wrapping, only a little looser. It would make a very secure seatbelt for the child, and they can go in facing you or the front.

 

Is your chair back fairly low? A high back carry with a mei tai might really suit you. It's my favourite way to get about with free hands - I recommend learning it for babywearing out and about. Look out for a mei tai with a hood, so you don't have to get bub out if they fall asleep. You could use a woven wrap also, but it's a lot of fabric to deal with in a chair. I haven't found I've been extraordinarily back heavy with a baby tied on up near my shoulders, but it's worth being aware of the possibility. You might want to lower your casters, and/or exercise caution mounting curbs and such.

 

LMK if you have any questions! I still have a few carriers about, so can probably try things in my chair and get back to you, if you're wondering about anything specific.

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