LisaKinVA Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 Anyone who has either been in an abusive relationship, or has had a close friend in an abusive relationship probably knows how this feels. It is not me. It is someone I met here. Little comments, sentences stopping short, you sense the fear and manipulation, you see the couple interact and red flags go up. You try to shake off the feeling...but bit by bit you get more and more confirmation. Please pray for this young woman, for physical and mental protection. For her to be surrounded by those who can and are willing to help. For her to have the mental strength to get through what is coming, and, please pray for the children. No further updates until the crisis is passed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cammie Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 :grouphug: for the family. This can be a dangerous time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in FL. Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 Praying for this situation, Lisa. I am so glad for your willingness to help this woman and her children! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenn in FL Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 :grouphug: and prayers for strength and safety to all involved. It is impossible to "like" this (Lisa's) post enough! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedmom4 Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 Praying! Sounds like a very serious situation. Praying you all stay safe. Elise in NC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 Prayers sent. Thank God that you are there to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 Prayers and hugs and hope...and best wishes to you as you try to assist her. Be careful. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 Praying for her and her children's safety. God bless you for helping her and her children, Lisa. I know from personal experience how many people look the other way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 praying for safety. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaKinVA Posted July 14, 2014 Author Share Posted July 14, 2014 Thank you for praying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 Praying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 things have changed since i was a military social worker. that said, there are restrictive reporting options that the family advocacy people have (where the unit does not necessarily become informed). flip side, is that i believe military commanders still have the option to issue the protective order, remove service weapons, etc. however, in reality, protective orders aren't worth the paper they are written on. this is the most dangerous time for her and the dc. at our base in germany, we had safe houses off base we could use. perhaps she could ask the family advocacy people about that? we also had the option of restricting the military member to the base, which helped the protective order mean something. we will pray. ann ps. in some situations, trusting the system isn't as good a solution as fleeing. is she at that point do you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaKinVA Posted July 14, 2014 Author Share Posted July 14, 2014 Deleted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 Praying for all involved. However, know that it takes on average seven times for somebody to leave….and leaving (and just after) is the most dangerous time. I know women who stay precisely because they do not trust restraining orders to keep them and their kids safe should they leave. They don't trust the courts to keep their kids safe. Sadly, today the way things stand now, leaving does not guarantee safety, and I've had to learn to accept that. The National DV Hotline really is a great resource, although I'm sure you're aware of it. 1-800-799-SAFE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaKinVA Posted July 16, 2014 Author Share Posted July 16, 2014 Deleted Thank you for praying...don't stop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Still praying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaKinVA Posted July 16, 2014 Author Share Posted July 16, 2014 Deleted...please pray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrookValley. Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Many positive thoughts/vibes that this family gets out of that situation safely. :( (However, I would be afraid that you have already given too much personal information about this woman/her family. Your previous post gives a lot of specifics, and I imagine, with all of the past info you've given about your location, it would not be hard to figure out who is who in this situation. You may want to consider modifying? Just a thought. :)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 thanks for the update. prayers for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alessandra Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 It's wonderful that you have been able to help. May everyone stay safe and emotionally strong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedmom4 Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Prying for the safety of this woman and her children. Elise in NC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedmom4 Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Praying for the safety of this woman and her children. ðŸ™ðŸ™ðŸ™ Elise in NC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 So glad this family has you as a friend. Praying for their safety. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 I'm still praying for everyone involved. (((Lisa))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 I'm worried about the safety of the woman and her children, and possibly that of you and your family. It would be best if you deleted your posts now, Lisa. L Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pehp Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 I will say prayers, too. A good friend was in a similar situation several years ago--peaks/valleys, putting things into place to escape, TRO, etc. I pray for your friend and for her children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Lisa, I have been watching this thread, and want to say this as gently as possible... You must know that this, right now, is the The Most Dangerous Time in a domestic violence situation. I know that helping her is difficult, and worrying, and in some ways all-consuming. And that you need support. Posting here may seem like a safe way to get that support, but it is so easily searched, and her husband is likely searching. May I suggest, also, that you take down the posts about it? Even leaving them up for a short time heightens the danger for both the family in question, and your own family. Through college and after, I worked at a domestic violence shelter. The stories we lived there are frightening, and very, very real. We were trained not to discuss the situations, and for good reason. If we needed support, a trusted friend, in person, was the way to go - but putting anything on the internet would be considered very dangerous. I'm very concerned for the family involved, and also for your family. Retaliation is not unheard of. You are at risk as well. Your children are at risk. Unfortunately, you are very recognizable through your posts, and, through you, this friend will be as well, especially with some of the details posted. Not trying to offend at all, and I hope you take this in the spirit it's intended: concern for the safety of all. Hoping for the very best outcome possible, and that everyone is safe soon. :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaKinVA Posted July 16, 2014 Author Share Posted July 16, 2014 Lisa, I have been watching this thread, and want to say this as gently as possible... You must know that this, right now, is the The Most Dangerous Time in a domestic violence situation. I know that helping her is difficult, and worrying, and in some ways all-consuming. And that you need support. Posting here may seem like a safe way to get that support, but it is so easily searched, and her husband is likely searching. May I suggest, also, that you take down the posts about it? Even leaving them up for a short time heightens the danger for both the family in question, and your own family. Through college and after, I worked at a domestic violence shelter. The stories we lived there are frightening, and very, very real. We were trained not to discuss the situations, and for good reason. If we needed support, a trusted friend, in person, was the way to go - but putting anything on the internet would be considered very dangerous. I'm very concerned for the family involved, and also for your family. Retaliation is not unheard of. You are at risk as well. Your children are at risk. Unfortunately, you are very recognizable through your posts, and, through you, this friend will be as well, especially with some of the details posted. Not trying to offend at all, and I hope you take this in the spirit it's intended: concern for the safety of all. Hoping for the very best outcome possible, and that everyone is safe soon. :grouphug: I am not offended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NavyMommy Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Praying! Also, if you need someone to talk to the Ombudsman can give you resources as well. I know the whole situation is scary and I'm sure overwhelming. You did the right thing and I'm praying for their safety. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaKinVA Posted July 16, 2014 Author Share Posted July 16, 2014 Praying! Also, if you need someone to talk to the Ombudsman can give you resources as well. I know the whole situation is scary and I'm sure overwhelming. You did the right thing and I'm praying for their safety. I have a JAG commander -- going on Captain -- looking out for us. We are on their radar. He has never met anyone else in my family, and he doesn't know where I live. There are others far more exposed than I, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 I am not offended. I'm so relieved. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan Wise Bauer Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Folks, this thread makes me fear for the privacy of the people involved. Take it to PM now, please. SWB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts