Phone etiquette

[Tranquility7]

If you are the caller, and you are calling a family where you know everyone in the family, but not well enough to recognize everyone by their voice (especially those close in age of the same gender), what is the proper way to ask for the person you are calling?  It seems rude to not acknowledge the person answering the phone by name, but what if you aren't sure?  But then it also seems rude to call someone and ask who answered.  

 

[hjffkj]

I say any of those things works. Personally I just ask for the person without giving any information about who it is unless they ask.  I don't really think anyone would be offended if you did not address them or addressed them incorrectly.  As someone who has been mistaken for my mom and my sisters many times over the phone it has never once bothered me.

[Mrs Mungo]

If I have no idea, then I say, "Hey, this is (my name), can I speak to so-and-so?" Or if I think I know who it is, "this is (my name), is this so-and-so?"

 

The only thing I think is rude is when I answer the phone and people say, "who is this?" Even when I am at my mom's with my sisters (we all sound very similar on the phone), I think it is rude not to *at least* say who you are and preferably who you are calling.

[Flowing Brook]

I usually will say "Hi this is puddles is so and so there?"  I don't think it is rude if you think it is the person you are calling that answered to say Hi person I called. If it is someone else it is no big deal.

 

Growing up people always got me and my mom mixed up.  I'd answer the phone and they'd think it was her. I used to enjoy seeing how long I could carry on the conversation before the person realized it was not her! I only did it with friends and family.

[Wilma]

Would you always be calling to talk to the same person, or sometimes one person and other times another?

[Joker]

I always say who I am and ask for who I want. I have a young voice and am always asked if the caller can speak with my dh or me (even people who know me), so I do not assume to know who answers.

[bolt.]

Hi, this is (me), how's it going? (Or other age-and-culture appropreate greeting that invites the other person to be conversational.) Then mm-hm along for a bit, engage if you want to, then say, "Well, that's lovely. Its always nice to chat with you. Actually, today I'm (also?) calling for (whoever) -- is s/he available?"

[Carrie12345]

I voted the first option.

 

My mom always made us answer the phone with a very odd-sounding "Hello, who is this, this is _____." And my aunt had my cousins doing a similar routine.  We all hated it. And who asks a question then keeps going???  But the truth is, we all got confused once we got older and refused to do that anymore, lol.  I still can't tell whether an adult cousin or my aunt or uncle is answering their phone!

[Melissa in Australia]

I always ask for the person whom I am calling.

 

If I ring my own house I cannot tell which of my own children answered the phone, on the phone they all sound exactly the same. They of course recognize my voice and fully expect me to recognize theirs and are completely stumped when I ask then who am I speaking to. Their most often reply is "Mum it is me"

[Ellie]

You always announce who you are first, then ask for the person you're calling. By saying "Hello" (or any version thereof) you are greeting the person who answers the phone, even if you don't say his name.

[Ellie]

 

My mom always made us answer the phone with a very odd-sounding "Hello, who is this, this is _____." And my aunt had my cousins doing a similar routine.  We all hated it. And who asks a question then keeps going???  But the truth is, we all got confused once we got older and refused to do that anymore, lol.  I still can't tell whether an adult cousin or my aunt or uncle is answering their phone!

 

Oh, I don't want to criticize your mother, but that's just wrong. :huh:

 

[Unicorn.]

The first one, or you may just say "Hello, May I speak to Kanga, please?"

[goldberry]

I picked the first one.  But I thought this was going to be about the importance of teaching your kids how to answer the phone before ALLOWING them to answer the phone.  How many times I have had the phone thrown down in my ear and heard the "MOOOOOMMMMMM!!!" yell.   UGH.

 

DD was taught at a young age to say, "hello".  If the person asks for mom or dad, "May I ask who's calling?"  then "hold on just a moment please" followed by setting the phone down GENTLY. 

[KrissiK]

We just finished phone etiquette in dd's health book. It is proper to identify yourself first, and then ask for the person you are calling. I never try to guess who I'm taking to. Too many embarrassing mistakes.... imagine you're a 13 year old boy who gets mistaken for his mom on the phone.

[jenn-]

If you called my house when I was growing up and didn't ask specifically for the person you wanted even though you were sure said person answered the phone, then you were likely to get a snooping sister on the phone. My mom, myself, and my little sister still sound too much alike on the phone to tell us apart. As a matter of fact my sis and I are so close in voice that I go to the store she works at and people come looking for her when I talking to the kids. All this to say, just ask if you want to know but don't worry about it too much. Just make sure you are talking to kanga before starting the conversation.

[Ellie]

I picked the first one.  But I thought this was going to be about the importance of teaching your kids how to answer the phone before ALLOWING them to answer the phone.  How many times I have had the phone thrown down in my ear and heard the "MOOOOOMMMMMM!!!" yell.   UGH.

 

DD was taught at a young age to say, "hello".  If the person asks for mom or dad, "May I ask who's calling?"  then "hold on just a moment please" followed by setting the phone down GENTLY. 

 

I didn't allow my children to answer the phone until they were old enough to take a written message. I've had one too many encounters with young children and the phone. :glare:

[Jenny in Florida]

The first is the closest to what I was taught and what I taught my kids:

 

"Hello, this is Piglet. May I please speak to Kanga?"

[Carrie12345]

I didn't allow my children to answer the phone until they were old enough to take a written message. I've had one too many encounters with young children and the phone. :glare:

 

It's funny, I don't even really think about these things with my kids.  Dh, oldest ds, and I have cell phones with caller ID.  And a tiny house.  The kids can answer mine if they recognize the caller (most of our relatives' pictures even come up when they call) or bring me the phone if it's a number they don't know.  And, if I'm in the bathroom, it can go to voicemail.

 

I suppose we should do a basic lesson in case an unforeseen scenario comes up.  Right now, "Hi, Grandma! It's ____," works just fine.

[Ellie]

It's funny, I don't even really think about these things with my kids.  Dh, oldest ds, and I have cell phones with caller ID.  And a tiny house.  The kids can answer mine if they recognize the caller (most of our relatives' pictures even come up when they call) or bring me the phone if it's a number they don't know.  And, if I'm in the bathroom, it can go to voicemail.

 

I suppose we should do a basic lesson in case an unforeseen scenario comes up.  Right now, "Hi, Grandma! It's ____," works just fine.

 

You have lucked out. :D As I said, I've had more than one experience with a young child who could barely talk answering the phone.

 

Bringing the phone to you, especially in these days of caller ID, is different than actually answering. :-)

[vonfirmath]

If you are the caller, and you are calling a family where you know everyone in the family, but not well enough to recognize everyone by their voice (especially those close in age of the same gender), what is the proper way to ask for the person you are calling?  It seems rude to not acknowledge the person answering the phone by name, but what if you aren't sure?  But then it also seems rude to call someone and ask who answered.  

 

This happens a lot. And its hard to tell who answered the phone over the phone even if in person you'd be fine. I just ask for the person I'm calling for if they don't introduce themselves when they pick up the phone.  "Hello, this is Roo/Roo's sister"

[EKS]

I'd just say, "Hi, may I please speak to Kanga?"