Joanne Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 For next Monday. It's a court-ordered step before going to court in front of a Family Law Judge. It's required for everyone in a custody battle. I do not expect us to be able to negotiate a settlement. It's the first day of school for "us", and my other job, which presents some logistical and work problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaMere Academy Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Praying all goes well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 What a busy time for you. Praying it all gets sorted out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommylawyer Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 As a custody attorney and one who has been to many a mediation where the client said "it won't settle" and it did settle, please don't go in with the "it won't settle" attitude. The beauty of mediation is that you get to help decide your children's futures - at least until they are 18. You have a say so. You don't HAVE to agree, but at least listen. If it doesn't settle, you're putting this decision in the judge's hands. Which, if you have a strong case and the father has a pitifully weak case, then you may be okay trusting the judge. Mediation is not the time to argue the finer details of your case, but to simply work through the issues of custody. I hope everything works out for the best for you and your children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted August 18, 2008 Author Share Posted August 18, 2008 Mommylawyer, Can I contact you privately? FWIW, this is not an action I solicited or invited. Thanks for your post! I am a beleiver in mediation, and my divorce was cooperative. I'm just dealing with a factor that doesn't lend well to the process. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Joanne, I hope everything goes well for you and your family. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommylawyer Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Joanne, I've sent you a PM. Of course, you may contact me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. I hope and pray that all goes well. Best to you, Carol in Cal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean too Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Praying that the mediation goes well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 praying here too. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Lynx Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 You're in my thoughts this morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepy Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Thinking of you and yours today, Joanne. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Prayed for you this morning, Joanne. I hope the truth is clear at this meeting and the outcome is truly what is best for your children. Let us know how it goes. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmgconner Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Praying for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Best of luck to you, Joanne. Mediation has never been pretty for me and my ex, but we're starting to get better. I'm ashamed to admit that it's taken 9 years to get there, but homeschooling has been the biggest factor in that. I *have learned to have hope, how to negotiate, how to restrain myself, and how to be open-minded, even when dealing with the most difficult person I know (next to myself!) Wishing you the strength to get there much faster than I did! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dayle in Guatemala Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 :grouphug:Joanne: Prayers from here for your situation. I'll be thinking of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Prayers, well wishes and happy thoughts for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Joanne, I am praying for you and yours that all goes smoothly today. (Of course, it is my birthday, so I do expect a little extra "oomph" attached to my prayers. :D) Seriously, I AM praying and I know God is working is perfect will for the best for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Joanne, praying here too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diannab Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 I hope everything goes well for you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenn in Mo Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Praying for you, Joanne!:grouphug: I'm not consistent on the board and had no idea you were having to deal with this. But I'm lifting you up in prayer this morning! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmgconner Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 How'd it go today? I've been praying for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom to Aly Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 Joanne, I'll be thinking of you. I hope everything goes well. Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dayle in Guatemala Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 Joanne: Thought of you and prayed for you this morning. Hope all went well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 Hoping things went well today. I've been sending you positive thoughts/vibes all day. (((Joanne))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in CA Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 Joanne, when you get time, please let us know how it went! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmgconner Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 Bumping up. Joanne, I'm still praying for you. As the mother of a 12 year old boy who wants to live with his bio-Dad, I'm feeling your pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 Joanne - I didn't post here yesterday, but you were in my prayers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 ...and for your children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 or neutral news. Praying for you, Joanna. Dana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 Bumping for news. Wondering how you are. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dayle in Guatemala Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Bump. I want to know how it went and how you are, too. Hope everything is okay! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamagistra Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 :grouphug: Joanne :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted August 31, 2008 Author Share Posted August 31, 2008 Thank you, folks. It was the absolute worst day of my life. Without a doubt. Due to my past, and the probably less than healthy response, I am able to "check out", "shut down" and disengage. That ability saved me. I do not know how I managed to get through the rest of the week. Fortunately, I had a dear friend from church coming over Monday night when DH went to one of his 3 jobs; I didn't want to be alone with my kids. I still believe that the mediation process is a good thing; I hope it prevents more and more people from going to court and teaches compromise skills for people in volitile, passionate emotional places. It didn't work for us; I knew it wouldn't. The next step is a very, very costly psychological evaluation of all 3 kids and both homes. The kids and I are "fine". I'm glad that school has started, we are very busy and that I have school to do here, plannning/grading to do and an outside job. The child in question and I hug 15 times a day(of his initiation since I'm not naturally huggy. That's a surprise, huh? :D), trade sarcastic comments, many text messages and enjoy each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura in VA Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 I'm sorry, Joanne. Prayers are continuing! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Lynx Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 :grouphug: Oh, Joanne, I am so, so, so very sorry. You are one amazing lady - please believe that. This year WILL end, the wheel will turn, and things WILL get better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 Still praying here, too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 Thank you, folks. It was the absolute worst day of my life. Without a doubt. Due to my past, and the probably less than healthy response, I am able to "check out", "shut down" and disengage. That ability saved me. I do not know how I managed to get through the rest of the week. Fortunately, I had a dear friend from church coming over Monday night when DH went to one of his 3 jobs; I didn't want to be alone with my kids. I still believe that the mediation process is a good thing; I hope it prevents more and more people from going to court and teaches compromise skills for people in volitile, passionate emotional places. It didn't work for us; I knew it wouldn't. The next step is a very, very costly psychological evaluation of all 3 kids and both homes. The kids and I are "fine". I'm glad that school has started, we are very busy and that I have school to do here, plannning/grading to do and an outside job. The child in question and I hug 15 times a day(of his initiation since I'm not naturally huggy. That's a surprise, huh? :D), trade sarcastic comments, many text messages and enjoy each other. Joanne, my heart is breaking for you. My hopes are the that the costly evaluation is the absolute worst of the situation. Please do update us as you are able. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 Deleted double post due to server error. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepy Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 The child in question and I hug 15 times a day(of his initiation since I'm not naturally huggy. That's a surprise, huh? :D), trade sarcastic comments, many text messages and enjoy each other. I'm so glad you both have these little bits of sunshine to light up your days. Hugs to you during these tough times, Joanne. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 ...you feel that your lawyer supported and prepared you well for this session. It's crucial to be able to trust your lawyer going forward. It's really nice to hear about your son hugging you spontaneously so much. That sounds like a very good sign to me! I hope that this is the only time that you will have to face your X directly for negotiation purposes. From now on, hopefully the lawyer will be the buffer for you. It is so nice to be able to relax into that. I hope that you feel the love that people have for you wherever you are, and that it shows you the love of God. You have done a lot of good in your life, and you have earned the respect and affection of so many people. You are so not alone! I hope that your X sees reason and is able to acknowlege it in his heart of hearts and then let this go. But even if he does not, it's a 'consider the source' situation for sure. Praying for you and your children... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dayle in Guatemala Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 :grouphug:Joanne:grouphug: Just checking in and wanted to know if you've been able to respond. I will continue praying. You are, from what I can tell, a wonderful person who truly wants the very best for your kids. Blessings to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in the Kootenays Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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