Mandylubug Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 I'm really close to my brother and SIL. However, they are both disabled. My brother has Crohns disease and is really in a rough patch in life right now. He is fully disabled, completely immunodeficient and can't be around ANYTHING! They live in a virtual bubble, Drs make exceptions, letting them in back doors, etc. Well, Thursday is Thanksgiving and none of us have seen them since Mother's Day. I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to see them. I was asked point blank if everyone in our family (not including my immediate family but others as well) was well that I knew of. Well, I KNOW of a child that had a stomach bug this weekend. I was honest and told them of it. I know it was the right thing to do. He has broken a rib from coughing with a simple cold before. He is put in the hospital everytime he is exposed to a common cold even when no one runs a fever, etc. He has been hospitalized from stomach bugs and so has SIL. I know I did the right thing, but garsh darn it, I want to see them :( I feel guilty "ratting out" someone else's illness and I know my mom is going to very sad if they don't come. I did suggest they steer clear of that person. Maybe they could wear face masks, keep hand gels on hand, but I know they will probably not come now and that fact makes me sad :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 :grouphug: You did the right thing and I would have done the same thing. Doesn't make if feel better, though, when you're missing someone. Could you visit them on your own some time? :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 You did the right thing. Sending sympathetic hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted November 26, 2013 Author Share Posted November 26, 2013 :grouphug: You did the right thing and I would have done the same thing. Doesn't make if feel better, though, when you're missing someone. Could you visit them on your own some time? :grouphug: I've attempted and I used to all the time. Just lately they haven't wanted to risk it because he has ongoing infusions and just prefer it to not happen. Not to mention they moved to a different location and they don't have room for my kids to visit, too (not to mention they are walking germ transporters) and DH works weekends and nights.. sigh, we talk tons, text, I send them videos and pictures of the kids all the time. Just isn't the same as real interaction. I'll get over it. I'd love to suggest the kid in question not come but I know that won't happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twinmami01 Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 You absolutely did the right thing. It's rough, but I'm sure he'd greatly appreciate it. With my boys and their seizures, even the slightest cold would make them VERY VERY sick and almost always resulted in seizures. It was frustrating, but to this day, my friends always give me the heads up if they even think one of them may be sick. I really do appreciate that they are considerate of us. Sending hugs your way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 You did the right thing. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 You did the right thing, we've btdt, but it's still hard, and for that, huge hugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 If you're having a large crowd, chances are pretty good that someone will be coming down with something and may not even know it yet. It's safest for him to not come. Good for you for providing the information he needed (though I expect the stomach bug kid will be fine--supposed to be isolated for 48 hours after last throwing up, right? Thursday is a long time past the weekend.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bagel270 Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 Can you Skype them? That's what we do with my family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted November 27, 2013 Author Share Posted November 27, 2013 Can you Skype them? That's what we do with my family. their internet isn't fast enough to hold a skype connect. we have tried :( Instead we email short videos. They seem to be able to download those better :) Skyping would make it sooo much better if we could pull that off! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 I'm sorry. :( You showed him true love and caring by making the painful decision to stay away. Hugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted November 27, 2013 Author Share Posted November 27, 2013 They did message me back and say that they plan on being there if no one else becomes ill between now and thursday. And they will just not hug or touch anyone. I can handle that :) Now, we will cross our fingers and toes that no one else gets sick between now and then! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kroe1 Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 I am confused. Is this one of your kiddos or someone else's kiddo? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 You did the right thing! Several years ago a family memeber lied and brought a sick child to a Christmas celebration, and my ds ended up in the hospital from Christmas Day until just before New Years. It is just not worth it. You can get together with them another day. It is hard, I know, we have been on both ends of that. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted November 27, 2013 Author Share Posted November 27, 2013 I am confused. Is this one of your kiddos or someone else's kiddo? no, someone elses. I was just the one that brought the child's sickness to their knowledge. Just bummed that I had to be the one to share the info. I was asked point blank if I knew of ANYONE that was ill. I feel like I'm "ratting" someone out. Our kids are all well and healthy :) Either way, it seems like they may attempt to attend if no one else gets sick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoVanGogh Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 You did the right thing. Our DS was premature, finally released from hospital during really bad RSV season. Our doctors told us flat out that we couldn't have visitors. My DH refused to tell his mom not to visit, but did stress to her that she shouldn't come if she had been around anyone that had been ill. The last day of her visit, she casually mentioned that her other son had the flu with fever when he drove her to the airport. I am still upset that she would risk her grandchild's health like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted November 28, 2013 Share Posted November 28, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted November 28, 2013 Share Posted November 28, 2013 I agree that you did the right thing! It would be horrible if people hid that from them, and they ended up sick. Does the Crohn's cause this level of immunodeficiency? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skeeterbug Posted November 29, 2013 Share Posted November 29, 2013 A wonderful Christmas present might be to upgrade their internet connection for them if it's an option where they live. Then they could Skype with you and other family. Maybe a group gift? Pay just the amount it would cost over their normal fees for a year? They are probably wishing they could Skype too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted November 29, 2013 Share Posted November 29, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excelsior! Academy Posted November 29, 2013 Share Posted November 29, 2013 I agree that you did the right thing! It would be horrible if people hid that from them, and they ended up sick. Does the Crohn's cause this level of immunodeficiency? I am not the OP, but I don't think so. My step-dad had Crohn's (he passed away recently) and never changed his lifestyle much. He was pretty much in a position/belief that he would feel ill either way so he just tried to live life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted November 29, 2013 Author Share Posted November 29, 2013 I agree that you did the right thing! It would be horrible if people hid that from them, and they ended up sick. Does the Crohn's cause this level of immunodeficiency? He has a severe case, advanced stages of crohns. His rumicade infusions and steriods also contribute to his immunodeficiency. He also has COPD caused by the spreading of the Crohns. Google crohns tunneling as well. He has many many complications due to crohns and the high doses of steroids he has had to take. His health is out of control at this point and he's really not doing well. His heakth is deteriorating at an astonishingly fast speed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted November 29, 2013 Author Share Posted November 29, 2013 I am not the OP, but I don't think so. My step-dad had Crohn's (he passed away recently) and never changed his lifestyle much. He was pretty much in a position/belief that he would feel ill either way so he just tried to live life. That is great he wasn't inconvenienced terribly. I know many aren't. I also know my brother is going to die because of it. As with any disease there are extremes on each side of the spectrum. Unfortunately, my brother is in the horrible end and isn't well enough to have surgery to remove active disease and infection. He did have one bowel resection ten years ago and they wished to get him well enough for another but it isnt happening. He has over 8 hernias due to extreme inflammation of the crohns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted November 29, 2013 Share Posted November 29, 2013 I'm so sorry, Mandy. My FIL had Crohn's for 30 years. The symptoms were just awful, and his was quite a mild case. You have my admiration for respecting their needs and making the right call. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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