So how are your freshmen doing?

[Nan in Mass]

Mine seems to be figuring out some things the hard way, like that you have to check to see if you have any emails from prof's several times a day, not every few days. He's managing to deal with the oopses nicely, though. Everybody and his brother told him to make friends and he seems to be following that advice, as well. One is reviewing his rusty trig with him. He figured out that he can block a practice room door open so he can get back in at night to play piano before bed if he feels like it. He discovered a climbing wall under the gym. He's studying. He's eating. He's pretty happy when he isn't in a panic. So far, so good...

 

How is everyone else doing?

 

Nan

[Jen in NY]

So far, so good here, too.

 

She joined the Uke Club, and the Satellite Project team (launch this weekend.... another one in the pipeline). She's found her way to the physics help desk, made study buddies in every class, and loves her Freshman Writing Seminar (whodda thunk it?). She has a bunch of friends that are not into partying (yet), so that makes me happy. Tonight their plan is to watch the new Legend of Korra season premier and hit the astronomical observatory (although it's cloudy here, so it may be there, too). There are a million and one things to do there, to the point that it's almost overwhelming... but I think she's getting the academic picture... you can't mess around when you are carrying 20 credits. She rides her bike to classes and has 'jogging tours' as phys ed. How cool is this? The prof is like a docent... so on each 3 mile run he takes the class on a different route, and occasionally stops and tell the students interesting information about the building or landform they are near. Great way to learn the campus!

 

The best part... *she* suggested setting up a weekly videochat on Sunday nights. :) It's really, really great to see her face.

 

I hope all of our WTM freshmen are having a good beginning!!

[Luckymama]

--She has made friends in all her classes.

--She and her roommate are very compatible.

--She survived a pop oral quiz in French today (third semester French, after not taking French senior year due to a scheduling conflict) in which she cracked a joke and made her prof laugh.

--She loves, loves, loves her heredity class (English major, mind).

--She auditioned for a play; haven't heard back yet.

--She found a workout buddy. So far they've done yoga, Pilates, and ran on adjacent treadmills.

--She's surprised at all the walking. Mind you, we've lived in this town since before she was born :lol:

--She's having a difficult time with the dining hall food. Allergy-friendly items repeat very often. She's been eating a lot of salad, chicken with salad, chicken wraps, fruit, and yogurt. Yesterday she had a calzone so she's hopeful for more interesting items in the next weeks. We've been bringing her food like cheese, crackers, peanut butter, bread, and fruit from the orchard, plus homemade macaroni and cheese and choc chip cookies :) A definite plus for living nearby!

[Miss Marple]

And I? I have cleaned up his bedroom. There was an odd odor that turned out to be some liquid in his camping first aid kit that had leaked and then mold grew on the stuff that absorbed that...glad I didn't wait any longer to tidy up

 

LOL! This reminds me of all the times I clean out the boys rooms when they are gone to summer camp. Amazing the things one finds - a lost retainer, orphan socks, toothbrushes, calculators, books, etc. I'm really amazed sometimes. I will be doing a final clean out of my oldest son's room shortly. He got married last year but is living in temporary quarters in Houston. He moves back to Tulsa in December at which time he will pick up his boxed items or they will go to Goodwill :) Yay!

- sorry for the rabbit trail. I have no freshmen this year...but the others are doing great. A concurrent Macroeconomics test kicked my senior son's behind but at least he knows how to study for the next one :)

 

Eta: I DO have a freshman this year! He just doesn't start classes until the end of the month. He is doing well, though, frittering away the time playing his guitars and watching Stargate re-runs :p

[Caroline]

He said, "I'm one of the cool kids here!" He has found his niche. He is having a blast and getting awesome grades. He has found those other kids who can play in the state soccer semifinal and get a 5 on the AP Physics exam on the same day. I am so happy for him. He is on a helluva ride on his way to becoming a helluva engineer.

 

(And it has been a month, so he is home with us for the weekend watching a week's worth of Daily Shows, eating his favorite foods and sleeping in his bed, which he had to kick little brother out of.)

[Farmgirl70]

My freshman:

-after much worry, discovered that he is indeed ready for Calc 1(I told him  :rolleyes: )

-is working hard and adjusting just fine.

-loves his World History class

-despite struggling with writing, is finding that he feels fine about his work in Freshman Comp

-even though Freshman Comp is focusing on responding to observations of pop culture (which this ds is not the least bit interested in)

All in all, he's doing well.

[Vida Winter]

DD seems to be adjusting just fine. She is surprised at the huge workload and how many hours she needs to study. She's very glad she has a single room and has great suitemates. She was also surprised that her biology lab partners do not come to lab prepared. :glare:

 

The kids have some great activities - tonight is Shakespeare in the park and tomorrow morning whitewater rafting. (!)

[ThisIsTheDay]

She's doing wonderfully. She's my completely introverted kid who has stretched herself over the past three week in ways that have surprised me. She's made the adjustment seamlessly.  She adores her roommate and likes her suitemates.  She's enjoying each of her classes, has heard terrific feedback from instructors, and she's been very pleased with her scores received so far.  She said she's walking a ton and has shin splints (I told her it's probably her shoes). She's gotten comfortable with the different meal venues and using her meal card (my biggest concern), and she's figured out the laundry. She lives in what she thinks is the quietest pod in the honors dorm and is happy about that. She and her roommate had to make their way in to Washington, DC for a project and managed the public transportation effortlessly. She's gone to Young Life every week and is planning/considering what to join and job options for next semester/year.  (We told her we didn't want her working this first semester.)

 

She is home this weekend.  She seems so grown up and at ease. I knew our house was different without her, but it struck me this morning how sweet it is to my mama's heart that all of my family is under one roof.  I peeked into her room when I woke up and saw that everything she owns seems to be spread all over her floor. Some things never change!

[nancy in nj]

DD has been adjusting well, loves her honors classes, loves her dormmates, loves her work-study job. She scored a job working for the "yield team" in the admissions office--she really meshed well with the 4 or 5 professionals on the yield team (she was the only freshman hired) and the rest of the work-study students. Oh the irony! My daughter had a very negative impression of this big, state flagship until she was admitted which was the point where the "yield team" took over, inviting her to functions, etc. This is a fairly high-level job and involves reading/organizing a fair amount of material and helping them fine-tune a strategic plan as well as being a contact in the spring for targeted admits, so she is super excited.

 

She is fairly introverted, and I have been amazed at how well she has been doing socially. She was not able to live in the honors dorm due to medical issues, so it's been a bit challenging in that she does not live with honors kids who comprise her small, seminar classes, but she reconnected with her honors orientation roommate and is getting to know some of the other honors kids through group projects. Several of her dorm-mates are into theatre (she's never had any exposure to this at all), and she has been listening to more practice auditions than she thought possible! Tomorrow night she hoping to attend a 24-hour play some of them are in. She is in one of the quieter, smaller north campus dorms whereas most of the freshman live in large. high-rise freshman "party" dorms on the south campus.

 

This week was about as challenging as it could be for both a new freshman and her parents: Her asthma started to flare-up last Sunday due to the high-temperatures/air quality, and we received a text from her on Monday evening (from her single dorm-room) that she was having difficulty breathing to the point that she was so tight that she could not even use her nebulizer and that she didn't know what to do and was looking for suggestions of what she could try to open-up enough to get her nebulized medicine "in". This ultimately resulted in her first ambulance ride and ER visit. They gave her oxygen in the ambulance which made a ton of difference, but the ER was useless and didn't understand that it was possible to have chronic asthma and an acute attacked without wheezing. They didn't take her seriously and prescribed a dose of steroid that was 1/3 of her normal dosage! She did feel better because of the oxygen and was able to use her nebulizer (we made the 2.5 hour drive on Tuesday to deliver "allergy-safe" prepared food and make sure she was ok), but ended up in the Health Center on Wednesday since her breathing started to deteriorate again overnight on Tuesday, and she needed a normal dose of steroids to recover. The Health Center was wonderful and the school provides a point-to-point shuttle service to the Health Center which was a Godsend! She's missed classes since Tuesday and her professors have all been wonderful about granting extensions, and several have followed up to make sure she was ok. Her breathing turned the corner Thursday evening which was confirmed by a follow-up visit to the Health Center yesterday. She still is not feeling anywhere near normal, but the heat/air quality conditions improved yesterday so that she was at least able to leave her dorm and get some fresh air (after being a virtual prisoner in her dorm room for the better part of the week). Despite being so sick, she was able to make some progess on keeping up with her schoolwork (which is a heavy load) and kicked it into high-gear yesterday, and there is only one class with a super-intensive (200+ page per week) textbook/journal article reading load that she is seriously concerned about catching up in. Overall, my husband and I are really proud of her...while she made a huge mistake in not seeking medical help earlier before it reached a crisis, she did a number of things incredibly well: She contacted us for assistance, she stood up for herself with the condescending er doctors, she made a connection with 2 health-center doctors and was able to communicate the complexities of her asthma/chemical sensitivity, she communicated really well with her professors and work-study boss in advance of not showing up/missing deadlines, and even though she was completely mortified of having EMS show up at her dorm and take her out by stretcher (she was too dizzy to walk) and then being in seclusion for days, she has successfully reconnected with her dormmates (instead of withdrawing, as we feared) and plans to join them for the play tonight if she is feeling up to it.

 

So yeah, overall it is going great, but neither her father nor I would like a repeat of this last week any time soon.

[Annie G]

DD is a junior but it's her first year away at school. She's adjusting beautifully- we're thrilled with her progress. Last year at this time she had so much anxiety that she was unable to work OR attend school. After months of therapy, she's away at school and loving it. Did you hear that sigh of relief? That was me. 

 

She loves her classes- Buddhism and  China in the 20th Century are her favorites. She's made a ton of friends- and as expected, most are not from the US. She's not into the party scene- and the biggest weekend event on campus is the regular Friday night bingo games. She's living in a college owned house with 12 other girls and learning to adjust to 12 other personalities. 

 

I really enjoyed reading how all your freshmen are doing- thank for posting the updates! Nancy, I hope this health scare is the last one your dd has to deal with- it's scary to be too far away to rush in and help, but it sounds like her school does a good job responding to an ill student's needs. 

[Wildcat]

I'm so happy to hear that everyone's kids are thriving at school!!

 

Ds is doing great. He and his dorm mate get along fabulously and he has made some friends. He likes the cafeteria and routinely sends text photos of his meals to tease us with the great food. I am happy to see veggies on each of his plates. :tongue_smilie:

 

He likes his classes OK, and is tolerating his English class. He doesn't like writing. However, he took his first paper to the writing center for a second opinion on the mechanics, etc, and was told it was great, so that set his mind greatly at ease. He is awaiting a grade now.

 

His programming class, he was told the first day of class, was a 'weeder' class (it's a sophomore-level course), and ds was thrilled to report to us that on the first test he received a 100 (where the average was a 68).

 

Ds has been to his first football game, and has volunteered. He has also been to eco car team meetings, and found a club where he really fits in.

 

He has also lost a few pounds since arriving due to all the walking and his strange schedule. He is happy with that, too. He also has a work out buddy for the gym and a biking buddy for those days when he wants to explore the bike trails.

 

He came home over Labor Day weekend and while it was great having him here, we couldn't help but feel that he 'belonged' at school. It was strange. We could also see a difference in him after only 3 short weeks away. He was already used to college schedules, etc, due to lost of cc classes, so we aren't sure what the 'difference' was, but we all noticed 'something' was different.

 

He is very happy and that makes us happy.  :thumbup:

[regentrude]

Glad to hear that all your freshmen are doing so well!

[Nissi]

Ds.1 is doing very well. He is happy overall with life. Roommate is good, has new friends from various parts of the country, loves his church and life group, plays keyboard and even wrote a song and enjoyed playing with a few friends. He also joined their Premed club, and is looking to do some community service. His Spanish classes are 5 days a week and he feels he'll be able to speak Spanish well soon. He has never had this much exposure on a daily basis to the language before. He is working hard and doing well on his weekly quizzes in all his subjects after an initial dip in the first quiz. He loves his Biology reseach class and is doing very well with this. He says he is still working on exercise and sleep.

[Sarah CB]

She sounds like she's having the time of her life.  She's signed up for a few clubs, she loves her classes - apparently both her calculus and physics are reviewing what she learned in high school - and she says her professors are fantastic.  She loves living in residence - says her house is so friendly and the whole system reminds her of Harry Potter.  Apparently there is some competition between the houses ;) Someone from her house arranged to rent a bus so they can all go to the beach this weekend and then on Sunday they're going for a 6 hour hike.  Tonight she's going to a museum with some friends.  

 

She's not 18 until January and she is literally on the opposite end of the country from us so I was worried that she'd be homesick, but it sounds like she's keeping too busy to get lonely.  

[Farmgirl70]

Update  :laugh: .  My ds, who does not like to write, got feedback on his first paper--an A-/B+.  We're seriously thrilled!  This has been a long struggle for him!  He says he feeling more motivated to write the next paper.  I'm so pleased.

[Nan in Mass]

First set of exams survived and he broke a $200 CNC tool.  Oops.  Three out of the five pieces on his drop the needle test were Bach pieces that he had played as a child (much simplified) so that turned out to be easy.  Calc wasn't so easy - he ran out of time and now knows what he needs to do to study for the next one - drill for speed.  He says he's still pretty sure he'll do ok in the class, provided he doesn't blow any of the other tests.  He knew even before we dropped him off that he was unlikely to get A's, so no upsets.  He was going to come home this weekend but decided it would be stupid to break his momentum.  I'm disappointed but if he did come home, I would worry about exactly that, and the upsottlingness of getting to sleep with the dog and go gaming with his best friend.  He's feeling fairly happy and ticking along nicely at the moment.  He's right that it would be stupid to risk destablizing himself.  We can go visit him without any of that happening.  It is nice to have him so unrestricted!

 

Nan

 

PS - I'm really really really enjoying hearing about what everyone is doing.  Jogging tours!  Computing for Compassion!  Bus to the beach!  Uke club!  I love hearing that the writing is turning out ok (similar phew! moment here for both my students) and tutoring being used (here, too).  The strange smell story is hilarious (because we've been there lol) and Nancy, what a rocky beginning - I'm so glad it turned out well.  Dot - we visited THREE stores to find flipflops that weren't priced like shoes and my son still was declaring he wasn't going to wear them when we dropped him off (fortunately he changed his mind about that).  And Asta - I like your story the best lol.

[Miss Marple]

 

 

Calc wasn't so easy - he ran out of time and now knows what he needs to do to study for the next one - drill for speed

This seems to be a common problem at the uni my sons attended(ing).  DS2 ended up with a 100% on his final exam for Calc 4.  He told me that there is no way that was the correct grade because he didn't get to one of the problems.  Apparently what he did do was all correct and he must have done more than anyone else LOL! Maybe your son will get the same treatment.  According to my oldest son he never completed a Calculus exam and he got A's in all 4 levels...odd, but apparently they prefer to give more than can possibly be completed. 

[Nan in Mass]

Our calc exams in school were all scaled.  We always had more problems than we could finish in math classes and in many other sorts of classes as well.  One definately had to select which problems one did carefully.  I always liked the system because if you didn't know how to do a few problems, it wasn't a disaster, provided you didn't spend the whole exam period struggling with them.  Obviously, the cc exams didn't work like that and we forgot to warn youngest that this might be the case.  He's always been slow solving his math problems, so I'm not sure whether he is just too slow or the exam was designed to give some choices rather than be completed in full.

[Lolly]

DD20-left home after CC for a 4 yr school. Is finding everything tremendously easy. She was afraid it would be harder than CC, but it is not. If anything, she says it is a little easier. 

 

Dd19B-Starting to relax a little. Is doing very well in her classes. Was disappointed in her middle B grade on her first paper-until her roommate (a soph.) told her that teacher absolutely ripped her papers to shreds. She is just really tough on those papers. Surprisingly, is doing extremely well in Spanish. It was probably her worst class at home! The swim coach is a little more than excited to have her....seems practices are going exceptionally well.

 

Dd19A-I am picking up tomorrow. She dropped everything middle of this week. She has managed to stay at a passing level in her classes, but the stress is just way too much. She does not feel she would be able to keep it up much longer. The school did not follow through with their promises for help for her (given before she decided on this school). She has ld's and they really dropped the ball on her. The swim coach is really upset with the school. The head of the Resource Dept. is upset with how they messed up. Even though it was a day past getting money back if you drop, the Resource head has worked it to where we will be receiving half of her money back. In her words, "the school has failed you." The president of the school saw her crying in the hall after talking to one of her teachers after she had dropped and asked what was wrong. She told her exactly what had occurred and that he needs to make sure to do something to help those who come after her. He let her know that if she ever wanted to return, to get in touch with him and he would make sure she was readmitted. I think she impressed him. I am very proud of her. She has come through this situation with great grace. She will start at the CC next semester after some decompression time (where she will regain the weight she has lost!) and some Grandmama/cousin time. I know it is an excellent school with excellent resources. DD20 worked in the tutor center for the last year and a half. She is going to get her set up with the best there. Dd19B is quite sad to be losing her twin. They have never been apart for long.

[Jen in NY]

Lolly, can I just say that your dd is so stinking lucky to have you to support her through this? You're my hero! :)

 

 

I am trying, trying, trying to go against my nature and listen, instead of grill. I want to be totally honest and not let my original post stand as the be-all-end-all because everything has not been entirely peachy keen in this adventure (for me as a parent, for my dd as the student...) and there have been things that we have had to talk about.

 

It is really interesting --- when I can detach myself from the situation long enough not to cry!--- watching her navigate in a parental vacuum. She left with a million plans about how she was going to be - what things she would *always* and *never* do - scholastically and socially. It turns out that real life is different than the imaginings we all had before she left. This has been hard for me to deal with and not run right down there and pick her up.

 

But, I think she's finding her footing. I think things are swinging back to center. This is how she will become an adult, by making the decisions herself, and by rescuing herself from poor choices. This is *not* a situation of the school letting her down.(Lolly, if my dd was in your dd's situation I *hope* I would handle it as well as you!) These are personal decisions on her part. And it's nothing terrible... just so stinking different from her old MO. The girl that was up at 6am to do her Calc every day last year is now the girl that stays up until 3 every night. The girl that worked two jobs for many years to save for school has yet to find a job on campus. The girl that swore she would not be dating in college has her first boyfriend. (Really?? You've been there three weeks... wow... ok.) and it's a lot of change for one mom in one month. It's a lot of change for one girl in one month!

 

I also hate the unknown... and so I worry. It is a very abrupt switch... from knowing anything and everything and where she is at almost every moment and who she's with and what her schedule is and what needs to get done... to knowing almost nothing. I mean, I know when her classes are... but that's not a lot of info in my world! WHO are her friends? Where is she studying? Is she eating well? Is she making it to class on time? Is she caught up with school????

 

Let's just say, I have taken up meditation.

 

I am not kidding! It may or may not be helping.

 

 

Anyway. I know this is nothing earth shattering. I just know now that there are things. Things I don't feel so comfortable with. Things I am going to have to deal with. Things I am not going to have the privilege of knowing. Things I didn't expect... and she feels so far away... disconnected from *us*... just by virtue of living away and having a totally different life. A HUGE amount of the experience is positive... but not all of it.

 

As is life, I suppose.

[creekland]

FWIW The late night vs early morning is fairly common among college students.  My guys also have stayed up late regularly, but they are often studying. ;)  They have a bit going on earlier in the evening (clubs, jobs, labs, hanging out with friends, etc).  I was always a morning person both before and after college.  In college I switched too.  I think one naturally does what fits their schedule.

[Miss Marple]

I also hate the unknown... and so I worry. It is a very abrupt switch... from knowing anything and everything and where she is at almost every moment and who she's with and what her schedule is and what needs to get done... to knowing almost nothing. I mean, I know when her classes are... but that's not a lot of info in my world! WHO are her friends? Where is she studying? Is she eating well? Is she making it to class on time? Is she caught up with school????

 

 

Jen, this totally sums up my life with the first 2 boys, esp. the first.  While mine weren't changing habits too much, I felt that they had been too sheltered and were too naive.  And if I didn't know that he had made it back to his room for the night, I worried endlessly that he had been taken for a ride and dumped on the side of the road.  He grew up in a small sweet town; I grew up in the middle of a metropolis.  My boys don't believe me when I tell them the "dangers" one can encounter in the big city or on a large university campus.  They thought I was just being over-protective.  I remember when the oldest went to a "study" session at his chem 1 lab partner's home. That home was full of freshmen!  And my son knew nothing about this boy.  I tried to tell him that if the home got raided and he was there, he would be included in the round-up (I told him the library was a better place to meet).  Drugs, underage drinking, etc. are all part of the university scene but my boys had NO idea just how much until they had been there a while.  Apparently one of my 2nd son's hall-mates (in the honors dorm) was dealing drugs and had over $10,000 hidden in his dorm room.  He eventually got busted...my ds thought it was all just a rumor because the fella was such a nice guy :p  

 

The worry at night....the prayers through the night....the waiting for a quick text....it's all part of the package.  Unfortunately our kids don't seem to realize the stress we live with :D  My boys were really good at letting me know what was going on, esp. #1 because he's a talker.  #2 isn't a talker and so I've been dealing with anxiety about him, esp. when I got a cryptic text that said "college sucks" from the kid that has no academic problems.  It took him 6 hours to finally answer my frantic calls (what could make him feel that way????) and the answer turned out to be, "I've only gotten about 3 hours of sleep a night this week because I have so many projects, tests, and career fair this week".  Well, that made me feel a LOT better LOL! And the time he texted me that he needed "cash really fast"....that one had his brothers thinking he had been kidnapped or had gotten in an accident and had to pay off the other party, etc.  No, he just needed money for dues for the engineering club that evening.  

 

Meditation is a good idea.  It will serve you well during this time :D

[nancy in nj]

Hey Jen.  First of all  :grouphug:

 

It sounds like your daughter is having the time of her life!  I know it is not easy for you as her mom, but would you really want her at a college where she was content to focus her life primarily around academics and a job?  College is so much more than that, and I think that is especially true for extremely intelligent kids that didn't necessarily have a large "peer" group at home.  For the first time, she is part of a large community where everyone is "like" her, she has found her place and she is taking full advantage of the social opportunities.  While the boyfriend thing happened really fast, at least it is likely that he is an intelligent, hard-working kid--he didn't get to that school by being a lazy, unmotivated slacker, right? I mean, you can be fairly confident that he was able to find at least 2 or 3 adults who were willing to write him outstanding recommendations--there are many young men (and woman) who would be hard-pressed to accomplish this.  From what you read about the social scene on most college campuses, it is far, far preferable for her to actually have a boyfriend than following one of the alternative models for male/female interaction!  She's just spreading her wings which is pretty typical for 1st semester.  Things will settle down to a new normal in the next few months and everything will be fine.  Just grab a margarita and hang in there!

 

BTW...I read your post as "medicate" rather than meditate, so I was initially more worried about you than your daughter!

[Nan in Mass]

Hugs, Lolly. That is so hard.

Hugs, Jen. Disconcerting as they are, I think aquiring a boyfriend within the first few weeks and switching to night owl are pretty normal. I did it and my sister did it and some of my children have done it, despite knowing the pitfalls. She will probably muddle through, same as the rest of us, as long as she is still studying.

Cynthia, I know what you mean about growing up in a small town. I grit my teeth when I heard youngest had taken a nap in a nearby park. Where was his backpack? Under his head, probably (he's banged around the world enough to do that) but... The whole underage thing is definately upsetting. And you know that even if they start out cautious, they will eventually probably be desensitized to the risk they are taking when they get in a car or go to a party or go visiting. I think the only answer to a lot of the problems is praying hard.

Hugs everyone else, too. I'm pretty used to the not knowing and the wondering and worrying. (Not that being used to it makes it any better, really, but at least youngest isn't on the other side of the world and we can use our cell phones.) What bothers me more is that I miss the daily closeness. Thank goodness for the dog and cat. Walking hard seems to be calming for me, more so than meditation. Sometimes I wonder if it is a fight-freeze-or-freeze thing and if walking is enough like flighting that it reduces the panic a bit.

Nan

[Jen in NY]

 

Step one: Medicate

Step Two: Margarita

Step Three: Power Walk

 

Do I have that in the right order ladies??

 

:)

 

Thanks for the reassuring words, all. It is a HUGE comfort to know that you have all gone down this road and lived to tell the tale!!

 

It will all be OK. It will all be OK. It will all be OK.

 

This has been the year of It will all be OK for me. It's a learning experience, I tell ya.

[Nan in Mass]

LOL - Well... my list goes more like breathe put on tea kettle hug dog hug cat hunt for ipod find book dive into book for a bit while drink tea then finally make myself get up and go find ipod and go for that walk. Asprin shows up in there someplace.

 

In my admittedly limited experience, in most cases even when it is not ok, it is ok, at least eventually.

 

Nan

[creekland]

My plan has always been:

 

1) Remember what I was like at that age.

2) Breathe a quick apology under my breath to my parents.

3) Continue along thinking about what I (or we since hubby is still part of it) want to do with the rest of my life knowing my boys are now making their own choices and this is what is supposed to be happening. 

 

I would have hated having my parents continue making my choices back then, so I opt to not do it for my boys (just offering suggestions if they ask for them).  I remind them (probably too much) that no matter what happens, as long as they don't opt to become a pimp, illegal drug dealer, or terrorist, I will always accept them (and love them).

 

Nonetheless, it is a hard adjustment.  I've very thankful mine (so far) have chosen to not follow the drug and alcohol nor the hooking up crowd.  Oldest never contacts us as much as I would like, but he's doing well (married now).  Middle is doing very well.  Youngest will still have me reminding myself of all 3 steps.  He's started with that now, actually! ;)

[regentrude]

Step one: Medicate

Step Two: Margarita

Step Three: Power Walk

 

Do I have that in the right order ladies??

 

:)

 

No. Don't drink and walk. Walk first, or skip it in favor of a second margarita ;-)

And I'm sure it is a Freudian slip and you were going to meditate, not medicate, right?

Best wishes

[texasmama]

It is good and reassuring and affirming to read of other people's experiences.

 

My dd has had some ups and downs but has not made any decisions which are terrible, so I am grateful.

 

She called me this past Monday morning crying convinced she needed to drop out, had made a huge mistake, etc.  It is a culture shock for her.  We talked a long time, and she felt better.  We are meeting her halfway for dinner tonight, and I think that will help to ground her in her roots, so to speak.

 

What has bothered me most is the pushy guys she is meeting and her inability to refuse to give out her phone number.  I am working on teaching her how to set firm boundaries because that is the only type that these people seem to "get". 

 

She listens to my advice, and I am very grateful for that.

 

 

[ereks mom]

Sorry to be late getting into the conversation!  I've been busy at home with my students, but EK seems to be adjusting well to college life.  She had roommate drama at first, but now has settled in with another roommate, and they seem to be adjusting well to being in the same room, although EK is a bit of a night owl and roomie likes to get up at 6:00 AM.  There was a bit of tension between them for a couple of days until they worked out a compromise--just one of those things college kids have to do.  They get along, but they don't hang out together because they have different  interests and different sets of friends.  EK and the other former homeschoolers have somehow gravitated toward each other--with most not even realizing at first that the others had been homeschooled!--and they have formed a rather large, comfortable peer group.  EK is really happy about that.  :)

 

As far as academics go, classes started one month ago today, and EK's favorite classes are her public speaking class (she got a perfect score on her first speech!), her American history class, and of course, choir (she's in 2 of them).  She likes her psychology class although she's already had to complete a project, an essay, and a 10 page research paper just for that one class!  But she made a perfect score on each of them, AND the prof said that reading EK's papers has been "a breath of fresh air" because unlike so many of her classmates, she knows how to write papers. Yea!!!  EK says her Apologetics class is boring--a repeat of everything she did at home and in church over the past several years--but she's made 100 on each quiz, so I told her to be glad of an easy A!  The only class that gives her grief is Physics.  She never had Physics before--only Apologia Physical Science--and didn't intend to sign up for Physics.  She registered for Physical Science, not realizing that at her school, Physical Science 1 = Physics and Physical Science 2 = Chemistry (which she did take at home). In Physics, she has several quizzes each week, and when she checked online to see her grades, as of yesterday she had 88.59 in the class (90=A). 

[ereks mom]

Forgot to add... one of the girls and one of the guys in EK's group paired off the very first week of school, and a couple of days ago they "broke up".  They each texted EK to let her know--not really sure why, except that she seems to be the voice of reason for her friends, and they always tell her their problems!  Anyway, the young man was so upset that he threatened suicide, and EK alerted the RAs, and then had to go help them look for the young man.  They found him safe, but EK was angry that he put people through that.  He did apologize, so I guess that helps, but the whole thing was rather ridiculous, actually.  :-/ 

[Kareni]

  Anyway, the young man was so upset that he threatened suicide, and EK alerted the RAs, and then had to go help them look for the young man.  They found him safe, ,,,,

 

It was good of her to alert the RAs and that they ultimately found him safe.  Had she ignored his threat and had the outcome been otherwise, I imagine she would be suffering now.

 

Regards,

Kareni

[Kareni]

Step one: Medicate

Step Two: Margarita

Step Three: Power Walk

 

Do I have that in the right order ladies??

 

:)

 

 

I think you may have forgotten

 

Step Zero: Chocolate

 

Regards,

Kareni

[Caroline]

My DS has done some things outside his box. I am beginning to wonder if we were suppressing the real him somehow.

 

He joined a fraternity. Now, I was in a sorority in college, so I do understand. However, this is a kid who never even went to a dance in high school. All he did was play soccer. (His job was playing soccer and coaching soccer and reffing soccer.) Now he has joined a fraternity and went on a retreat. (How scary is that?) But, we have seen him since then, and he is fine.

 

He is attending football games. He went to two games his entire high school career. Now he is going to all home games. And wearing a GT tie. Really, a tie? He had to look up on you tube how to tie it because he only ever wore one for baccalaureate and graduation before now.

 

He hasn't mentioned a girlfriend, but he is on a campus with twice as many men than women. (When I went there, I think there were 4 guys for every girl.)

 

So who is this kid? I guess he is the one we raised. However, I see that he is where he belongs now. Maybe he should have been there years ago.

[ThisIsTheDay]

My DS has done some things outside his box. I am beginning to wonder if we were suppressing the real him somehow.

 

 

 

This is EXACTLY what I've been wondering about with my dd.  She's done many things she never would have done at home.  I am SO glad for her and for your ds too! 

:coolgleamA: :coolgleamA:

 

[AngieW in Texas]

My freshman is enjoying dorm life. She is a little frustrated that both of her suitemates leave on Friday afternoon and don't get back until Sunday evening every week. The one that she especially likes is the youngest in her family and would like to be able to stay on campus for the weekend, but her mother comes to get her as soon as her last class is over on Friday and won't bring her back until Sunday evening. Her mom is really having a hard time with letting go. Both suitemates live just 45 minutes from school.

 

Her biggest issue is the randomness of grading for her calculus class. There is a homework set of 20-30 written problems due each week. The TAs randomly choose 4-6 of the problems to grade in each assignment and your entire grade is based off of those 4-6 problems. No solution set or answer key is provided for the rest of the problems, so you have no idea if those are correct or not. The digital homework offers immediate feedback. Some of the digital homework problems allow multiple attempts to get the answer and others don't.

 

She desperately misses dogginess and seeing wilder/more heavily treed areas.

 

She loves the food in the dining hall so far.

 

 

[creekland]

My DS has done some things outside his box. I am beginning to wonder if we were suppressing the real him somehow.

 

 

There is only so much one can be exposed to in the high school years and a bit of what exposure there is depends upon the likes/dislikes of the parents.  It isn't just homeschoolers.  It's the same with those in ps.

 

One of the reasons I REALLY want my kids to go to 4 year schools is to get exposure to the many opportunities out there (not always academic) and discover who they really are.  Some may just be experiences in college, others may be those they keep for a lifetime.  Who knows?  But they get a chance to see what is out there and experience it without a lot of pressure.

 

I know middle son is in a dance troupe and has really gotten into ASL.  They're both good, of course, but there's no way I'd have predicted interest in either when he was here.

 

[Nan in Mass]

We tried spelunking in college. Never again. Never ever again. It was one of the only things in my life that I was scared to do and turned out to be much worse than my worst imaginings. Not everything one tries or does in college is "the new you" lol.

 

Nan

[Miss Marple]

We tried spelunking in college. Never again. Never ever again. It was one of the only things in my life that I was scared to do and turned out to be much worse than my worst imaginings. Not everything one tries or does in college is "the new you" lol.

 

Nan

LOL!  I can totally relate...small spaces...I'm too claustrophobic.  However dh remembers his spelunking days with great fondness.  College was where I realized I would be a horrible nurse.  I tried nursing classes for one semester but quit due to the odors one would/did endure.  Pharmacy was much cleaner, neater, and smelled chemical-ly :)  Nursing was definitely not me.

[creekland]

We tried spelunking in college. Never again. Never ever again. It was one of the only things in my life that I was scared to do and turned out to be much worse than my worst imaginings. Not everything one tries or does in college is "the new you" lol.

 

Nan

 

I found out I love spelunking, but we don't get to do it often now.  I also found out that while I love the water, I hate sailing... hubby loves sailing.  It's the only "thing" we really are different in our feelings about... it doesn't help that the first time he took me out he swamped the boat in rather chilly water... but even since then, on larger boats... nah, I prefer those with a motor that don't keel over a bit.  Meanwhile, he's still watching the aftershow from the America's Cup.

 

Oh, and I like hiking, all sort of different games, taking off on a whim to go to Disney (hardly affordable now), and got to march in Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade...

 

Ah, the college days!

 

[Muttichen]

We skyped with ds and dd (who is a junior at the same school) for about two hours yesterday.  A lot of the conversation we missed because the audio was poor and they were laughing and talking to each other, but he is obviously very happy.  He said he's tired.  He joined ROTC (he's not on a scholarship or anything -- he's doing it for "fun") and he has PT every morning at 5:30.  Dh and I figure that anything that makes him get up early and exercise can only be good!  He also said his bike was stolen (life lesson -- lock it up!) and his fridge (hand-me-down from older brother) stopped working.  Small problems in the scheme of things, and it seems like he likes being a grown-up and handling them.  He loves his classes and is making friends.  We miss them, but I love to see them thriving in their new environment.  It makes me remember the thrill of being in college myself.

[Nan in Mass]

Muttichen said, "We miss them, but I love to see them thriving in their new environment. It makes me remember the thrill of being in college myself."

 

I love seeing mine thriving, taking things in stride. And yes, it makes me remember being in college myself, with such mixed feelings. Our older two's college experience was very different from mine, but youngest's is uncannily alike. We visited today and it dragged up such vivid memories, both good and bad. In some ways, I'd love to be doing what he is doing. I'd love to be taking his classes, with nothing to do but study for them. I'm green with envy over his CNC class. In other ways, I am deeply grateful not to be his age and going through all that growing and developing again. At least he's not homesick. It is all very muddling, especially on top of empty nestness.

 

He wants a foil for Christmas lol.

 

Nan

[creekland]

We miss them, but I love to see them thriving in their new environment.  It makes me remember the thrill of being in college myself.

Same here.  Sometimes on our visits I find myself getting a little jealous.  Almost always I am wistful and reminiscent.  Even though my guys are at different colleges, I'm still reminded of my days. 

 

As mentioned before, part of the reason I really want mine at 4 year schools is so they can have that enjoyment of new experiences of their choice from a multitude of choices.  It's not a good fit for everyone, but it's been a good fit for our family.  For us, partying, alcohol and trysts are not a part of it.  There is so much else though... for those who choose it.

 

Our trip to FL to visit schools with youngest is coming up relatively soon.  We joke with him that he might decide he doesn't like a school, but mom/dad might just sign up (esp since it's FL and winter is coming).  He is looking forward to seeing the schools and making his choice (pending finances) too.  So we tell him we'll see if we can get a suite for four... his roommate and him + mom and dad. ;)

 

I wouldn't make a student go if they weren't happy with it (more than basic homesickness) and we work hard to find good, affordable fits.  College is not for everyone and there's NO SHAME in that.  Different strokes for different folks.  Find the niche that fits.

[J-rap]

Getting in here late! My youngest left last week for school, by herself. It's the first time away from home for more than about 10 days, and she's off in Sweden! She's been great about keeping in touch every step of the way. I asked her to text me upon landing and making her various train and bus connections, which she did (all in the middle of the night, of course, since she is 7 hours ahead). She is also my quietest one, but is doing great! Very confident and happy, seemed to ease right into her school and environment. Already talks about her "friends." Haven't been able to Skype yet and texting is expensive, but she gives me quick email summaries. She is roommates with three other girls, one from Denmark, one from Germany, and one from Canada. Yesterday she sent a cryptic text asking if our health insurance covers extreme sports...

 

Anyway, it's fun to hear about everyone's children and how they're doing. :)

[texasmama]

Yesterday she sent a cryptic text asking if our health insurance covers extreme sports...

 

 

Oh wow, I think the answer to this is always "no", if you know what I mean.  ;)  lol

[Nan in Mass]

Extreme sports... lol... I've gotten a few intriguing messages like that over the years, although I don't think it has ever occured to any of mine that their insurance might not cover their activities. Or me, for that matter. Hmm... Please tell us what she has in mind when you find out! Very cool that she is settling in nicely after her big leap.

 

Nan

[J-rap]

I did find out! Apparently she and some friends were going to an "extreme rope course" high up in the trees, where you climb, swing, jump, etc. amidst the tree tops. She had been told that you have to sign a form saying that you have health insurance that covers that type of thing. Anyway, she did it, and had a great time. :)

[Nan in Mass]

Oh cool!  What fun!  MUCH better than spelunking lol.

 

[texasmama]

That is not quite as scary as I had imagined.  :)

[J-rap]

haha -- I thought the same thing!

 

 

That is not quite as scary as I had imagined.  :)