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Albeto or any others, can you share with me some benefits of teens having sex? Or is it just more of a "of course it's going to happen, so we might as well educate them and provide them with protection?"

 

 It's a biological impulse, like eating, sleeping, and seeking friends and social bonds. Humans are social creatures, and relationships that include sexual behavior is perfectly natural. Like any behavior, there are certain skills that can offer advantages in any given society. But like any behavior, knowing, learning, and mastering these skills are easier said than done.

 

Edited to add, I like Laura's answer (better!). 

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Albeto or any others, can you share with me some benefits of teens having sex? Or is it just more of a "of course it's going to happen, so we might as well educate them and provide them with protection?"

 

I don't see anything wrong with (late) teens having sex if they are in a good situation - good relationship, etc.  So it's a bit like asking what the benefit is of... I don't know, a walk in the countryside with friends.  It's healthy, fun and there's no reason not to.  You teach your child not to stand under trees during thunderstorms and to stay out of fields where cows have calves.

 

I don't want to give the impression that I tell my children to have sex.  I'll be happy whatever choice they make.  But I am pleased to be able to guide them through the next few years through frequent and open conversation.

 

L

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LOL. I agreed that it was a problem with this discussion.

 

I don't think gang rape (did I use that word?) is a huge concern. But raping and social media fallouts from sexual encounters in general are concerns. STDs are a HUGE concern, especially with teens who, let's be honest, aren't very statistically reliable to use contraception properly and every, single time.

 

Every female in my family for many generations has gotten pregnant young and out of wedlock. Many on my dh's side have as well (as older women, these are well-respected, successful women, so they're not just uneducated and "low class," ftr) but it was difficult for all of us to have "underage" pregnancies out of wedlock. And yes, I do see that as a huge issue when we're talking about teens having sex. Who of us doesn't have a young girl in our families somewhere close to us that has gotten pregnant? Or a boy who has fathered a baby out of wedlock? Rarely do those stories turn out wonderfully.

 

Lol Really? Not only am I loose for going braless, apparently I'm a failure for my young and out of wedlock births. So are a good many of my friends and relatives. I'll make sure to let them know.

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LOL. I agreed that it was a problem with this discussion.

 

I don't think gang rape (did I use that word?) is a huge concern. But raping and social media fallouts from sexual encounters in general are concerns. STDs are a HUGE concern, especially with teens who, let's be honest, aren't very statistically reliable to use contraception properly and every, single time.

 

Every female in my family for many generations has gotten pregnant young and out of wedlock. Many on my dh's side have as well (as older women, these are well-respected, successful women, so they're not just uneducated and "low class," ftr) but it was difficult for all of us to have "underage" pregnancies out of wedlock. And yes, I do see that as a huge issue when we're talking about teens having sex. Who of us doesn't have a young girl in our families somewhere close to us that has gotten pregnant? Or a boy who has fathered a baby out of wedlock? Rarely do those stories turn out wonderfully.

 

 

My mom was the only "young girl" in our family that got pregnant.  She was 18, had me at 19.  She had been living on her own for 3 years, in fact had moved to this province when she first left home 3 years earilier on her own.  Was working and doing fine.  The father of that baby is my father.  They have been married 35 years.  I had my first at 21 so not a young girl imo, and no the marriage didn't last but that is not because of having a child at 21 but because he was an abusive drunk, even if we never had kids the marriage would have failed.

 

My sister had her first and only at 30.  My brother is 30 and he and his wife are waiting a few more years yet.  3 of my cousins have not started their families yet, 1 has, she had her 2 boys in her 20s after she was married, he turned out to have a whole secret life going on.  My other 2 cousins are younger than my kids (since my aunt didn't start her family until 35).  SO no I don't know a young girl in my family at all that got pregnant young or a boy that fathered a baby out of wedlock. 

 

Even in my highschool.  We had a grad class of around 350 people.  only 1 person in that class got pregnant in high school.  She was 16.  It was unheard of for that to be happening, even those of us that were sexually active by then we had enough brains to use protection.

 

I look at my kids and the kids their age they associate with, and I have never taught them that abstaining is the only right way, yet neither of mine and none of their friends are sexually active at 14-15. 

 

When it comes to my kids at least I have told them they will want tohave sex at some point, that sex feels good BUT these are the risks associated with it.  I actually don't focus on the STDs though I have discussed them. Or on the pregnancy itself, but on the lifestyle after the pregnancy.  My son knows if he were to father a child he would be spending 1/2 his income towards the care of said child, getting to see said child 4 days a month and having virtually no say in their upbringing.  He wants to be a father one day and that's not being a father.  My daughter knows having a child outside of marriage will guarantee she gets to live like this the rest of her life, in poverty, under high amounts of stress to do right by her kid, just like her mother (again I didn't have mine young, but single parenthood at any age is no cake walk).  She knows she would not be able to be in the military(her long term plan), will likely never go to college and if she does it will be that much harder to complete, etc. 

 

I want them to have the bigger picture in mind when they are in the heat of the moment and desire is high so they make the right choices.  Just teaching to abstain or "purity" isn't enough, imo

 

I have standards and boundaries.  My kids know I would be disappointed if I learned they were to become parents as teens, but they also know that I would be there for them without a doubt and would hold their hand every step of the way.  Being disappointed in the choices our kids make is one thing, shaming is another imo. 

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 It's a biological impulse, like eating, sleeping, and seeking friends and social bonds. Humans are social creatures, and relationships that include sexual behavior is perfectly natural. Like any behavior, there are certain skills that can offer advantages in any given society. But like any behavior, knowing, learning, and mastering these skills are easier said than done.

 

Edited to add, I like Laura's answer (better!). 

 

 

I don't see anything wrong with (late) teens having sex if they are in a good situation - good relationship, etc.  So it's a bit like asking what the benefit is of... I don't know, a walk in the countryside with friends.  It's healthy, fun and there's no reason not to.  You teach your child not to stand under trees during thunderstorms and to stay out of fields where cows have calves.

 

I don't want to give the impression that I tell my children to have sex.  I'll be happy whatever choice they make.  But I am pleased to be able to guide them through the next few years through frequent and open conversation.

 

L

 

Thanks, that helps me understand your POV better. :)

 

 

Lol Really? Not only am I loose for going braless, apparently I'm a failure for my young and out of wedlock births. So are a good many of my friends and relatives. I'll make sure to let them know.

 

I certainly did not say you were a failure. :confused1:  Jump to (false) conclusions, much?

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Thanks, that helps me understand your POV better. :)

 

 

 

I certainly did not say you were a failure. :confused1: Jump to (false) conclusions, much?

You said stories of out of wedlock children do not turn out wonderfully. I'm sorry, should I have said average? Or failure? Somewhere on that spectrum below average, though, right?

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You said stories of out of wedlock children do not turn out wonderfully.

 

Nope, that's not what I said.

 

If you want to be angry at me, that's certainly your right. But there's no use having a conversation if you are going twist my words to whatever meaning you want to assign to them, or completely change what I said to jump 50 steps ahead to a conclusion even I didn't make.

 

I said RARELY do situations where teens get pregnant out of wedlock turn out wonderfully. And I stand by that.

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Nope, that's not what I said.

 

If you want to be angry at me, that's certainly your right. But there's no use having a conversation if you are going twist my words to whatever meaning you want to assign to them, or completely change what I said to jump 50 steps ahead to a conclusion even I didn't make.

 

I said RARELY do situations where teens get pregnant out of wedlock turn out wonderfully. And I stand by that.

 

Which by default means the MAJORITY are not wonderful, or as others can take it failures.  She is not twisting your words at all, you are being offensive with that statement.  There was nothing to twist, you made it very clear that is what you were saying when you reposted the exact same thing.

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Which by default means the MAJORITY are not wonderful

 

Right.

 

You do realize that I was also a teen mom? So if you're intimating that I am lumping all teen moms into the "failure" category (something I didn't even come close to saying), I would be included in that?

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Is anybody else sad that they missed the beach photos? She revised the blog post due to criticism. :rolleyes:

albeto. ( with a period ) posted one of them.

 

So someone, somewhere, saved that picture and albeto. ( with a period ) used it to...prove a point.

 

Or seen what Miss Peregrine said...

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Is anybody else sad that they missed the beach photos? She revised the blog post due to criticism. :rolleyes:

They are still around in news articles.

 

Or, you can see her husband shirtless here, pouty look and all.

 

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache%3A6u-YjFVQpJ8J%3Agivenbreath.com%2F2011%2F12%2F08%2Fi-spy%2F+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us

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They are still around in news articles.

 

Or, you can see her husband shirtless here, pouty look and all.

 

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache%3A6u-YjFVQpJ8J%3Agivenbreath.com%2F2011%2F12%2F08%2Fi-spy%2F+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us

 

Oh my.  Her "heart gets a rush even still" over seeing him shirtless, and she posted multiple pictures of him shirtless? 

 

The irony astounds me.

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They are still around in news articles.

 

Or, you can see her husband shirtless here, pouty look and all.

 

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache%3A6u-YjFVQpJ8J%3Agivenbreath.com%2F2011%2F12%2F08%2Fi-spy%2F+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us

But when girls do that, it's BAD. :rolleyes:

 

I'm pretty sure that photo, even more than the beach picture, proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that Mrs. Hall has quite the double standard.

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albeto. ( with a period ) posted one of them.

 

So someone, somewhere, saved that picture and albeto. ( with a period ) used it to...prove a point?

 

Or seen what Miss Peregrine said...

Huh? Why do you keep saying that? Do you even know why there her name is ( with a period ) ?

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Oh my.  Her "heart gets a rush even still" over seeing him shirtless, and she posted multiple pictures of him shirtless? 

 

The irony astounds me.

 

Wow. No hypocrisy there. :lol:  What if one of those fb girls gives one of her boys a rush that he will still feel 20 years from now as they celebrate an anniversary? Sadly, I guess the poor boy will never find out, since he had to unfriend someone who could possibly have been a soul mate.

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Right.

 

You do realize that I was also a teen mom? So if you're intimating that I am lumping all teen moms into the "failure" category (something I didn't even come close to saying), I would be included in that?

So you are the rare exception? Because from some of what you've said on other threads, you don't seem to think you're the exception, either.

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"Why there her name is?"

 

Ummm...

 

Isn't her name albeto. (with a period)?

 

Her old name is albeto (no period).

I apologize for posting on a smartphone while being jostled on public transit. I hope it never happens to you. :)

 

I am guessing you don't know why ( with a period ) name exists. I don't see the need for snark about it.

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I apologize for posting on a smartphone while being jostled on public transit. I hope it never happens to you. :)

Let she who has never made a typo or been the victim of autocorrect cast the first stone. :)

 

 

I am guessing you don't know why ( with a period ) name exists. I don't see the need for snark about it.

I don't either. Some of us don't capitalize our user names. Some of us use all caps. Some of us use only intials. They're user names. <shrug> Out of curiosity, have you ever commented on I.Dup. with 2 periods?

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I apologize for posting on a smartphone while being jostled on public transit. I hope it never happens to you. :)

 

I am guessing you don't know why ( with a period ) name exists. I don't see the need for snark about it.

Let she who has never made a typo or been the victim of autocorrect cast the first stone. :)

 

 

 

I don't either. Some of us don't capitalize our user names. Some of us use all caps. Some of us use only intials. They're user names. <shrug> Out of curiosity, have you ever commented on I.Dup. with 2 periods?

Oooooh! I got 2 tickets from the Snark Police!

 

And a shrug...which is ironic...

 

*Snarking tickets! They're like parking tickets, but no fines!*

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I apologize for posting on a smartphone while being jostled on public transit. I hope it never happens to you. :)

 

I am guessing you don't know why ( with a period ) name exists. I don't see the need for snark about it.

You guessed wrong...she uses albeto. (with a period) because she couldn't open/access/use albeto (no period). But she had conveniently had albeto. (with a period) which it looks like was opened last year.

 

Cool beans.

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You guessed wrong...she uses albeto. (with a period) because she couldn't open/access/use albeto (no period). But she had conveniently had albeto. (with a period) which it looks like was opened last year.

 

Cool beans.

:D

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You guessed wrong...she uses albeto. (with a period) because she couldn't open/access/use albeto (no period). But she had conveniently had albeto. (with a period) which it looks like was opened last year.

 

Cool beans.

Yes it certainly is suspect when a Poster who likes to fuel drama has two accounts. I'm not sure why the no double accounts doesn't apply to her...considering she opened both of them quite some time ago.

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Oooooh! I got 2 tickets from the Snark Police!

 

And a shrug...which is ironic...

I've yet to perfect my IRL ironic shrug, but my 9yo nails it every time. She's precocious, that one . :D

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Yes it certainly is suspect when a Poster who likes to fuel drama has two accounts. I'm not sure why the no double accounts doesn't apply to her...considering she opened both of them quite some time ago.

Well, it's not like she could post from both accounts simultaneously. Though that would be amusing if they didn't agree.

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Need some Scope?

 

or brain bleach? hahaha

I'm not clear how prancing around campus in a "sassy white dress" is NOT the 1990s equivalent of posting a sultry selfie. So not only did her sons AND her dh do the exact same thing she so publicly criticized, but she also did it HERSELF!

You have to admire that much brazen hypocrisy.

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I'm not clear how prancing around campus in a "sassy white dress" is NOT the 1990s equivalent of posting a sultry selfie. So not only did her sons AND her dh do the exact same thing she so publicly criticized, but she also did it HERSELF!

You have to admire that much brazen hypocrisy.

 

 Let's hope she was wearing a bra!

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Happiest countries:

http://www.livescience.com/39490-the-happiest-country-in-the-world-is.html

 

Teen sex by country:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/health/daily/051606/teensex.html

 

States with a lack of sex ed have more teen pregnancies:

http://thinkprogress.org/health/2013/03/01/1640851/states-teen-pregnancy-rates/

 

Articles on the issue of teen sex in the US versus other countries (one statistical, one personal):

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/05/15/AR2006051500809.html

 

http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relationships/what-its-grow-country-doesnt-hate-sex

 

I think some posters should be aware that they are conversing with some people who are not in the US.

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Well, it's not like she could post from both accounts simultaneously. Though that would be amusing if they didn't agree.

It would be a nuisance, but she could just sign out of one account and sign back into the other one, or else be signed in on one computer as one username and another as her second username. That way, she could amuse herself for hours by arguing among herself.

 

It seems to have happened recently on the high school forum in the "Graduating high school late?" thread where the OP (a new member named lehnsherr) started the thread, but then came back and responded to one of the replies under a different username (levelopourdeux.) It was very confusing, but she never came back to explain herself. It sounded at first like maybe it was a mother and a daughter and the dd accidentally used the mom's computer to respond or something, but there were other odd posts where the "mom" was posting, yet she messed up and made a reference that would have meant she wasn't old enough to be the mom. It was very strange.

 

I don't think albeto. (or albeto, or possibly even aLBetO if she wants to get all clever about it) was trying to pull a fast one on anyone, because if she was going to try to pose as two different users, I think she would be smart enough to choose two totally different names. My guess is that she forgot her password and had changed her email account so she couldn't have it emailed to her, so she just re-joined with almost the same name. She should let the mods know to delete her second account, though, just to play by the rules.

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 My guess is that she forgot her password and had changed her email account so she couldn't have it emailed to her, so she just re-joined with almost the same name. She should let the mods know to delete her second account, though, just to play by the rules.

 

These are things unsinkable has already asked about and been answered. Your assessment of my using the same username to avoid any implication of trying to be deceptive is accurate. 

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I don't think albeto. (or albeto, or possibly even aLBetO if she wants to get all clever about it) was trying to pull a fast one on anyone, because if she was going to try to pose as two different users, I think she would be smart enough to choose two totally different names. My guess is that she forgot her password and had changed her email account so she couldn't have it emailed to her, so she just re-joined with almost the same name. She should let the mods know to delete her second account, though, just to play by the rules.

 

I can hardly wait for the post-password (at every site) Internet. It's coming...

 

My master list is ridiculously long.

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These are things unsinkable has already asked about and been answered. Your assessment of my using the same username to avoid any implication of trying to be deceptive is accurate. 

 

It's too bad in a way we couldn't really have "mirror" accounts. Bill could have a black spy or a white depending on his mood. I could be B&W or colour depending on mine...

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These are things unsinkable has already asked about and been answered. Your assessment of my using the same username to avoid any implication of trying to be deceptive is accurate.

you never explained how you were able to use albeto until July 2013, then couldn't but albeto. was created in 2012.

 

So you must have been having these problems for years, no?

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LOL. I agreed that it was a problem with this discussion.

 

I don't think gang rape (did I use that word?) is a huge concern. But raping and social media fallouts from sexual encounters in general are concerns. STDs are a HUGE concern, especially with teens who, let's be honest, aren't very statistically reliable to use contraception properly and every, single time.

 

Every female in my family for many generations has gotten pregnant young and out of wedlock. Many on my dh's side have as well (as older women, these are well-respected, successful women, so they're not just uneducated and "low class," ftr) but it was difficult for all of us to have "underage" pregnancies out of wedlock. And yes, I do see that as a huge issue when we're talking about teens having sex. Who of us doesn't have a young girl in our families somewhere close to us that has gotten pregnant? Or a boy who has fathered a baby out of wedlock? Rarely do those stories turn out wonderfully.

 

 

Actually, I was a teen mother, and I turned out pretty well (as did the son born to me at 17.)  My stepsister was pregnant at 15, and she is in college and a wonderful mother.  I could keep going - I know of plenty of others who managed to live a successful life after unplanned, unwed births.  I would prefer not to be a grandma now, but it wouldn't be the end of the world.

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