Best breastfeeding stories

[Parrothead]

I had some crazy lactivist corner me in Walmart in Thomasville, GA while I was feeding dd. I had a cover and it was like this woman saw right through it. She went on and on about how wonderful it was that I wasn't hiding out and was nursing in public and on and on.

 

I was just kind of dumbfounded. I'd been holding dd for about 15 minutes. I knew she would be done soon. I just wanted to put her in her carrier so she could sleep and dh and I could go on with our shopping.

 

Usually we can extricate ourselves from strangers. We were just so gobsmacked neither of us could think through the situation for a few minutes.

[Hypatia.]

Last week we did a cross-country road trip from the Seattle area to NC.  Our main stops during the day were for meals or snack/potty breaks at little restaurants, my nurse-in-public 3000 mile tour.  In some of the places we stopped I could really tell that NIP wasn't as common as I felt like a bit of a sideshow, in others it wasn't noticed at all. 

[BlueTaelon]

Lots of funny stories but the one I think is the best is from older dd, she was sitting on my lap eating chocolate cake then decided she wanted some milk so she helped her self, bite of cake, sip of milkies, bite of cake, sip of milkies. I've seen and heard stories of a lot of nursing toddlers but that literally took the cake:)

[Terabith]

My oldest had just turned 2, and my youngest was six months old.  Younger dd was a nursing fanatic (nursed till 3.5, and we had many conversations about it), while older dd had never been able to figure out the nursing process (oral motor issues), so I had pumped and fed her from a bottle until I got pregnant with her sister.  Older dd was addicted to her bottle. 

 

We were just leaving Houston and were headed back to San Antonio, which is about a four hour drive away.  It was night time, and it's pretty empty out there. 

 

Neither child likes the car.  At all. 

 

2 year old starts crying.  "I WANT MILK!  I WANT MILK RIGHT NOW!  PLEASE, MILK?  PLEASE?  I WANT MILK!"  She is wailing.   Wakes up the baby, who starts wailing also.  I'm sitting in the front seat telling the toddler, "I'm sorry, but I don't have any milk here.  We're in the car."  She was not mollified.  Suddenly I realized that in fact we DID have milk, inside my b00ks.  So I grab a bottle and start hand expressing, while my husband flies down the dark interstate at 75 mph.  Hand expressing is not a, shall we say, neat experience.  My aim is not perfect.  B00kmilk is spraying all over the windshield, all over the dash board, all over the glove compartment and stereo.  Baby is wailing; toddler is wailing; husband is speeding, and it looks like we've been attacked by Caspar the friendly ghost or that we have crashed into a car made of ectoplasm. 

 

I do, however, get 8 oz of milk into the bottle.  Toddler drinks it and goes to sleep.  Baby falls back asleep, lulled by the soporific effects of the car, once the screaming sibling is again slumbering.  The adults, on the other hand, were still cleaning b00kmilk out of the heating/ air conditioning vents for years!

[AndyJoy]

When DS was about 18 mo. I often had to tandem nurse...him and his stuffed monkey!

[Jenn121]

My DD12 would not wake to nurse and after a failed 4 day induction, then a c-section and no BF support I gave up.

 

I have a cow reference but it is not a nice one.  My Dr. told me tand I quote, "There are meat cows and milk cows and you are a meat cow." NOT the best thing to say to a emotional first time mom at her 6 week appointment.

 

When DD5 was born I was bound and determined to nurse and it was a sweet time until she self weaned at about to. But I still laugh at think about the LC tell me,  "Tips up!" to help with latch. 

 

 

[Erin]

 

 

My Dr. told me tand I quote, "There are meat cows and milk cows and you are a meat cow." NOT the best thing to say to a emotional first time mom at her 6 week appointment.

Your doctor was a moron.
Aside from the obviously inappropriate comment to a new, struggling mom, what does he think meat cows feed their calves? :rolleyes:

[duckens]

Story #1:

Older dd asked me to bf her plastic giraffe.  Why can't I get a soft stuffed animal?

 

Story #2: We are a very scientific family, so we always try to use the proper term for bodily function -- including breastmilk.  When offering to nurse my daughters, I always ask, "Do you want some breastmilk?" 

 

Consequently, older dd's word for breastmilk was "bres."  And this is fine, until you are in line at the grocery store; you'll be in the car in 5 minutes and home in 10; but the toddler wants to nurse NOW.   And communicates this to you in a louder and louder voice because you may not be hearing her.

 

BREAST!!!!! BREAST!!!!!  BREAST!!!!!

 

Story #3:  Younger dd is very tuned into others being upset.  She is currently 2.5yo. 

When she hears babies cry, she pats her chest in comment that the baby needs breastmilk. 

When she sees older sister upset, she pats her chest in comment that older sister needs breastmilk.

When shes sees an adult character crying or upset or hurt on television, she pats her chest in comment that the character needs breastmilk.

 

These are great observations on her part, but I also know that younger dd is not fond of sharing her breastmilk.  I'm not sure that she has thought that far ahead. 

[hsmamainva]

I'm a former LLL leader and my co-leader had a story that just cracked me up -- and I've never forgotten it!

 

Her son was around 3 and very verbal and he loved his "nursing".  They had started to have little conversations about how, when he was older, he wouldn't have "nursing" anymore because he would be a big boy, etc.

 

So a few months later, it was Christmas time and the family got dressed and her son asked, "Where are we going?"  And his mom told him, "We're going to see Grandpa at the nursing home."

 

His entire face lit up joyously as he shouted, "You mean there's a HOME!?!"  :D

 

Where had this news been all his life?  ;)

[Erin]

Consequently, older dd's word for breastmilk was "bres."  And this is fine, until you are in line at the grocery store; you'll be in the car in 5 minutes and home in 10; but the toddler wants to nurse NOW.   And communicates this to you in a louder and louder voice because you may not be hearing her.

 

BREAST!!!!! BREAST!!!!!  BREAST!!!!!

Which is why so many of us have a code word.   ;)

Ours was "nigh nighs."  By the time he was old enough to speak coherently, when Buck wanted to nurse, it's because he was tired and cranky.   Nigh-nighs was perfect because anyone who heard it would say, "Oh.  He's tired and wants to go nigh nigh."  

Umm...yeah  lol

 

 

I often had to tandem nurse...him and his stuffed monkey!

Ya know, the stuffed animals, dolls, Barbies, etc. didn't really faze me. Bean just asked for other mammals.

What got me was when I'd be handed dump trucks, tractors, loaders and so on. Or Buck would just nurse them himself. :D

[AMJ]

I was pumping at work last year and at the time, had TWO clearly marked signs. I'd already been walked in on with my cutesy sign that said "Please come back later, the lactation station is in use" and now had an additional sign stating "DO NOT ENTER I AM PUMPING BREASTMILK FOR MY BABY"  with a big red stop sign above it, bold, underlined, biggest font Word had to offer. Unfortunately, I had to pump in a room with a sliding door and it didn't have a lock. So in walks the mail carrier while I am pumping. I am facing the corner, because that's my set up, and can't even turn all the way around to see him, but he's just hanging out talking about where to put the mail if the door is closed. I just kept saying "Please close the door. Please leave. Please close the door." while he starts trying to strike up a conversation. At some point he realized that wasn't going to happen and he left, leaving the door mostly open.  :glare:

 

My coworker said it probably looked like I was in timeout.

 

We did have a contractor almost walk in once but he must have read the sign as he was in the midst of sliding the door open and basically freaked out and ran off, and again, the guy left the door partly open.  :ohmy:

 

We had a salesperson that would also call and ask if she could speak to me, as long I was not too busy because she didn't want to bother me while I was pumping my breasts. She would work "pumping your breasts" or "doing your breast thing" into every conversation for months.

 

I hear ya.

 

I was one of the founding members of my company's Family Support Network, which contributed strongly to the installation of "Mother's Rooms" in our workplaces.  These did not come about in time for me to officially use, though I did "test" the very first one before it was opened.

 

In the office I was in during my first pregnancy/breastfeeding time we had glass walls on the interior walls, to allow ambient light to percolate through from the office windows to the interior spaces.  I asked my boss if, when I returned from having the baby, I could have miniblinds installed on my interior wall.  I could see him carefully forming a politic answer as to why this would not be fair to others, when I added, "...for when I'm pumping".  He turned beet-red, speechless (only time I EVER caught him at a loss for words), and choked out that he would see that something of the sort was in place for me when I returned.  I thanked him and stated that would prevent me from kicking him out of his own office 3-4 timers per day (his was the only office with opaque walls).  In return I only closed those blinds when in a state of undress, and only as long as was necessary.  Thankfully I did have a door with a lock, and enough clued-in coworkers that would run interference for me when people failed to understand the import of the sign on my door (such as housekeeping or maintenance).

 

But sometimes work crises simply won't wait.  I had been desperately trying to get a particular person 2 time zones away on the phone for one crisis, and when he was finally able to return my call I happened to be "occupied".  I simply couldn't let the call go to voicemail, and couldn't stop the flow, either -- serious repercussions for either of those options.  So I answered the phone, talked to him about the crisis and how we could avert it, all quite professional.  Until he just couldn't stand it anymore and asked what the odd noise on my end of the phone was.  I simply told him, "You don't want to know."  And like a pro, he left it at that, finished our discussion, and got on with helping to fix the crisis.

 

When the first Mother's Room was finally available I manned a booth with a young man at a health fair.  Among other things we had a sign and flyers advertising the new Mother's Room and how to sign up for access to it.  One older gentleman stared at our poster for a while, then finally got up the nerve to come ask us a question.  "Why," he wanted to know, "is there a special room for new mothers?  What about the new fathers?  Don't they deserve the same consideration?"  My male cohort looked at me, and I promptly replied, "When a new father contacts us about a need to express breastmilk while at work we will be quite happy to set him up with access to the Mother's Room, too.  And we will rename it, as well!"  The gentleman left all afluster, but came back just minutes later stating he had a new mother coworker who needed to know about this and picked up a flyer for her.

[SadieMarie]

I remember nursing my oldest once when she was probably close to two. She paused and looked up at me with that rosy cheeked, sated glow and I was so overcome with love that I said it, "I love you." She broke suction, smile and responded with, "I love num nums."

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

When the first Mother's Room was finally available I manned a booth with a young man at a health fair.  Among other things we had a sign and flyers advertising the new Mother's Room and how to sign up for access to it.  One older gentleman stared at our poster for a while, then finally got up the nerve to come ask us a question.  "Why," he wanted to know, "is there a special room for new mothers?  What about the new fathers?  Don't they deserve the same consideration?"  My male cohort looked at me, and I promptly replied, "When a new father contacts us about a need to express breastmilk while at work we will be quite happy to set him up with access to the Mother's Room, too.  And we will rename it, as well!"  The gentleman left all afluster, but came back just minutes later stating he had a new mother coworker who needed to know about this and picked up a flyer for her.

 

I'm absolutely dying to know what on earth he thought was going on in there that new fathers would need to do too! Did he think it was some kind of secret spa for new moms? 

 

 

I remember nursing my oldest once when she was probably close to two. She paused and looked up at me with that rosy cheeked, sated glow and I was so overcome with love that I said it, "I love you." She broke suction, smile and responded with, "I love num nums."

 

:lol: Of course. That's about how it was with eldest DD too. Youngest didn't really care that much--to her it was just a means to an end that involved her having to pause in her important work of conquering the world. But to oldest, her "cheche" was everything. 

[beaners]

 

When the first Mother's Room was finally available I manned a booth with a young man at a health fair.  Among other things we had a sign and flyers advertising the new Mother's Room and how to sign up for access to it.  One older gentleman stared at our poster for a while, then finally got up the nerve to come ask us a question.  "Why," he wanted to know, "is there a special room for new mothers?  What about the new fathers?  Don't they deserve the same consideration?"  My male cohort looked at me, and I promptly replied, "When a new father contacts us about a need to express breastmilk while at work we will be quite happy to set him up with access to the Mother's Room, too.  And we will rename it, as well!"  The gentleman left all afluster, but came back just minutes later stating he had a new mother coworker who needed to know about this and picked up a flyer for her.

 

 

Ah, but now we all know there may be many fathers out there with this very need! ;) This forum is so enlightening.

[Jerico]

My first and third didn't even notice when I weaned them!!! Makes me laugh. My second, on the other hand, would follow me around the house crying "mama" and signing "milk"- also makes me laugh. :)

[HS Mom in NC]

My maternal Grandmother (born in 1922) was living in Nebraska when she lost her first child just after birth because the baby's esophagus and heart were not formed properly-something modern medicine couldn't treat in the 1940s.  A day or two later the doctor came in sheepishly asking if she would be willing to pump her milk because there was another baby in the hospital whose mother couldn't nurse (who knows if that's medically accurate or not?) and couldn't handle anything other than breastmilk. Grandmother did and said it helped her start the healing process knowing that something good came out of those dark days.

[shanvan]

I have a not so good 'cow comment' story.  I was visiting a fellow new mother I met in birthing class about a month after we both gave birth.  She had about 8 other women there --none of them had any children except for her.  Ds wanted to nurse and began wailing.  They were all completely disgusted at the idea that I was going to nurse him so my host sent me upstairs away from all the other women.  When i came back they were all looking at me like I was some sort of freak.  My host's mom looked over at her daughter (who was bottle feeding) and blurted out at me.."but, don't you just feel like an old cow?"  I left shortly after that.   

[Melissa in Australia]

I have a not so good 'cow comment' story.  I was visiting a fellow new mother I met in birthing class about a month after we both gave birth.  She had about 8 other women there --none of them had any children except for her.  Ds wanted to nurse and began wailing.  They were all completely disgusted at the idea that I was going to nurse him so my host sent me upstairs away from all the other women.  When i came back they were all looking at me like I was some sort of freak.  My host's mom looked over at her daughter (who was bottle feeding) and blurted out at me.."but, don't you just feel like an old cow?"  I left shortly after that.   

My SIL said I was like an old pig when I was feeding my first child. it was about then that I decided we could not ever be friends

[melbotoast]

I weaned DD shortly after she turned 2. Several months later, I wasn't sure if she remembered nursing or not, until she found one of my bras. She said "Oh, this is for my drinks!"  :lol:

[Amber in SJ]

So many funny stories.  Let's see......

 

With dd #1 we discovered I have excess breast tissue under my arms.  When I would get engorged I couldn't put my arm down on that side.  If I had waited too long between feedings & there was a crying baby, I could flap my elbow on which ever side was most full and shoot breastmilk across the room like a rainbird sprinkler.  Talk about an underrated super power! 

 

Dd #1 was born in June and I was just getting the hang of nursing by the big Thanksgiving family reunion.  We were arriving just in time for the big family photo shoot so we stopped at the top of my in-law's very long dirt driveway to nurse so everyone would be happy for the pictures.  Only after everyone received their framed picture for Christmas did I discover that I had neglected to button the horizontal nursing opening on my shirt so there I am in a picture with thirty other people, flashing a half circle of underboob and part of my post-partum belly.  That dd is 19 & I still get to see that picture framed in every relative's house every holiday.

 

While I was "interviewing" pediatricians (we were very serious about that first kid) one Doctor told me I wouldn't be able to breastfeed because I am too fair skinned.  He said the lighter your skin is, the more painful nursing is.  He said nursing works best for "dark and swarthy women."  So basically no one in Denmark (where my ancestors are from) were ever breastfed.  Needless to say, we did not choose that ped.

 

Dh has 9 women cousins that are all about the same age as we are so we were all having babies at the same time, but I was the only one who breastfed longer than six weeks.  Everyone was freaked out that I nursed until they were two.  They staged an intervention where they invited me out to lunch and told me things like I was never going to get my old breasts back (they were right,)  that my children would be mentally ill, fat or spoiled (they were wrong,) or, my favorite, that breastfeeding so long violated my "sexual contract" with my husband and I was essentially committing adultery.  I breastfed my toddler at the table after that.

 

Amber in SJ

 

 

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

So many funny stories.  Let's see......

 

With dd #1 we discovered I have excess breast tissue under my arms.  When I would get engorged I couldn't put my arm down on that side.  If I had waited too long between feedings & there was a crying baby, I could flap my elbow on which ever side was most full and shoot breastmilk across the room like a rainbird sprinkler.  Talk about an underrated super power! 

 

Dd #1 was born in June and I was just getting the hang of nursing by the big Thanksgiving family reunion.  We were arriving just in time for the big family photo shoot so we stopped at the top of my in-law's very long dirt driveway to nurse so everyone would be happy for the pictures.  Only after everyone received their framed picture for Christmas did I discover that I had neglected to button the horizontal nursing opening on my shirt so there I am in a picture with thirty other people, flashing a half circle of underboob and part of my post-partum belly.  That dd is 19 & I still get to see that picture framed in every relative's house every holiday.

 

While I was "interviewing" pediatricians (we were very serious about that first kid) one Doctor told me I wouldn't be able to breastfeed because I am too fair skinned.  He said the lighter your skin is, the more painful nursing is.  He said nursing works best for "dark and swarthy women."  So basically no one in Denmark (where my ancestors are from) were ever breastfed.  Needless to say, we did not choose that ped.

 

Dh has 9 women cousins that are all about the same age as we are so we were all having babies at the same time, but I was the only one who breastfed longer than six weeks.  Everyone was freaked out that I nursed until they were two.  They staged an intervention where they invited me out to lunch and told me things like I was never going to get my old breasts back (they were right,)  that my children would be mentally ill, fat or spoiled (they were wrong,) or, my favorite, that breastfeeding so long violated my "sexual contract" with my husband and I was essentially committing adultery.  I breastfed my toddler at the table after that.

 

Amber in SJ

 

OMW. You win!

[kentuckymom]

I let DS self wean and he nursed until he was 4. DD is still going strong at 2.5. Neither kid has taken to trying to nurse their own dolls or toys, but they've been quite happy to bring them to me. My favorite was when DS brought up Thomas the Tank Engine and said Thomas wanted to nurse. DD usually has me tandem nursing one of her dolls or stuffed animals at bedtime. The other night she lay down in my spot on the bed, pulled up her shirt, and told me she was going to nurse me. That was the best yet.

 

Worst nursing story..... when DD was just over a month old, I decided to try volunteering at DS's school again. I'd been a regular volunteer until she was born. I wore her in a wrap and was able to nurse her in the wrap without anything showing. However, after a couple days the assistant principal called me in to her office and told she'd heard that I was breastfeeding while volunteering. She said that wasn't appropriate (even though the kids probably had no clue) because not all families support breastfeeding. She gave me access to a conference room if I needed to breastfeed while volunteering. That would have been a slightly weird end to the story if it hadn't been that the principal was away at a conference when I was granted access to said room. The assistant principal mentioned it upon her return and the principal told her that I shouldn't be coming in with the baby at all because it might "distract from the learning process." Apparently some parents had been bringing toddlers in while volunteering and that really had caused some problems, so the principal had decided to start a strict "no siblings while volunteering" rule. Because, you know, a sleeping newborn is really going to distract kids, especially when what the parent is doing is shelving books in the school library. Um, yeah, that principal still kind of annoys me. 

[Mary in VA]

I love this thread! I've laughed so hard that I've cried.

 

When my youngest dd was 18 months she was down to nursing first thing in the morning, right before bed, and sometimes at nap time. One afternoon I sat down in the rocking chair and offered her my breast at nap time. She looked at it, blew a raspberry at me and laughed. I laughed and put her down for her nap. That evening I offered her my breast at bed time and she did the same thing! She never nursed again; she had decided she was done. I was extremely disappointed that we ended with no warning. I have told her that it was okay she decided to quit, but she didn't have to be so rude about it.

 

Mary

[LivingHope]

Have you ever looked for your glasses and discovered you were wearing them the entire time?

Well, I did something like that once. My husband thought I was kidding (I was serious) when I asked him where our toddler was...while I was breastfeeding that child.

[Aubrey]

So we were selling our house & expecting #3. She was born in the wee hours of the morning, & when we got home later in the AM (birth center), I called & left a message for our realtor that we wouldn't be having any showings for a few days, then went to bed w/ new baby.

 

The first day or two w/ a new baby, I tend to sleep topless--it's just easier that way. Or I did when I only had 1-3, & wasn't expecting anyone in my room...

 

The realtor did not get the message. When I got up, there were various subtle indications that someone might possibly have been in the house. So I checked online, & sure enough--we'd had a "showing" that morning. o.O

 

ETA: I should mention--I'm one of those women who covers up w/ a HUGE blanket, even at home, went to another room/the bathroom w/ #1, etc. I don't even talk about booKshelves in mixed company. :p

[AMJ]

I'm absolutely dying to know what on earth he thought was going on in there that new fathers would need to do too! Did he think it was some kind of secret spa for new moms? 

 

Given the pictures showing a comfy reclining chair in each he probably thought it was a neat, company-sanctioned naptime place for the sleep-deprived new Mommies.  It was easy to overlook the multi-user breast pump supplied in one of them, or easy to not realize what it was, and to not care why we had emphasized the proximity of chair to tables and outlets in each.  We tried to be suitably discreet in our language on the poster and flyer, but there were a few (not just this guy) who needed it spelled out explicitly for them just what these rooms were for and why users would have to petition for access.

 

Please understand -- once he got past his surprise and embarrassment he thought it was a great idea.  It just happened at a time when the company had gone to many extremes to make the workplace more enticing to women, to the point of giving them certain advantages that really were needed by men as well.  He probably wondered if this was going to be another such thing.  That is why we created the FAMILY support network there -- to advocate not just for new mothers, but new fathers, eldercare givers, and anyone else having work & life balance issues that could be addressed. 

 

BTW, in my time there the company also (before we could ask for it) started giving new adoptive parents the same parental leave (minus the medical leave part) that other new parents were receiving.  Never discount what a grass-roots effort can do when politely determined people get involved.

[MollyAnn]

It was a weekend morning and DH was letting me sleep in while he made breakfast for the 2 older kids.

I wasn't completely asleep but I was far from awake when I felt the 18month old snuggling in wanting breakfast. So I lifted my shirt and pulled him in. Next thing I know 6yo DS is running from the room screaming "mommy tried to nurse me"

Apparently the 18month old wanted pancakes for breakfast and was downstairs with DH.

[Melissa in Australia]

^:lol: 

[Melissa in Australia]

^:lol: 

[ChristusG]

Not a funny one, but a strange one. I had a drs appointment with my family practice dr when dd#1 was about 14 months old. I ended up seeing the nurse practitioner that day. While she was prescribing me a medication, I mentioned that we'll need to check and see if it is safe to take while breastfeeding. She said "Congrats, how old is your baby?" (Baby was in the waiting room with my mom). I told her 14 months. She gave me a blank look and said "You are still nursing? I thought the milk dried up when the baby turned a year old."

 

I was COMPLETELY speechless....this was a medical professional!!!

[Erin]

Yeah...that was something I learned early on; medical professionals tend to be nearly as clueless about breastfeeding as the general public.  :rolleyes:
I never would have made it past three weeks if I only had "medical professionals" to rely on.

 

[dirty ethel rackham]

Yeah...that was something I learned early on; medical professionals tend to be nearly as clueless about breastfeeding as the general public.   :rolleyes:

I never would have made it past three weeks if I only had "medical professionals" to rely on.

 

Often, even more so.  I had a dad who was a med student show me a section in one of his textbooks that talked about breastfeeding.  It was full of misinformation (4 hour scheduling, roughing up nipples, no nutritional value after six months, supplement if baby loses more than 5% birth weight in the first 24 hours, yada yada yada).  Yet, he had the gall to tell me that LLL leaders were terribly uneducated, thus unqualified to give any advice about newborns. 

 

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

Just saw this positive breastfeeding in public blurb on Yahoo and wanted to share.

 

[AndyJoy]

I have a new one.

 

DS (newly 4) was watching me breastfeed his baby sister yesterday and asked, "Why does she eat both ways?"  I told him, "Because both sides have milk."  His eyes lit up and he said,  "You could feed TWO babies at the same time!  You should feed Baby Sister and Best Friend's Baby at the same time!"  I explained to him that mommies generally like to breastfeed their own babies.  It would be an interesting concept, though.  We could alternate days and maybe get more housework done.  Maybe I'll propose it to my friend... :)