Why is this?

[Jean in Newcastle]

This is what I wrote for my Sparkspeople blog.

 

"Please supervise your children at the gym. When you don't, it affects everyone.

 

Letting your child use equipment that too heavy and designed for adult bodies puts your child at risk. And it wrecks very expensive equipment driving up costs for everyone.

 

Letting your child run around unsupervised and bored, disrupts classes and puts people in danger. Kids don't think about the ramifications of letting a basketball loose in a gym of dancers. Kids don't think about what might happen when they run in the hall and barrel into people walking the opposite way. Kids don't think about how uncomfortable taking cell phone pictures makes people who want to protect their privacy.

 

Taking your child into a class that is not designed for children (and has a posted age range) is disruptive. It is disruptive to the class to leave your baby crying in the back of the room. I know that you've learned to tune it out but others haven't and really it isn't fair to the baby. Taking a young child into a class where he doesn't have the coordination to keep up puts your child and others in danger. It disrupts our workout to have to worry about where a child is before we put our feet down.

 

All of these are situations that I've had to deal with in the last couple of months as an assistant at the gym. It is uncomfortable to me to have to confront people - if I can even find the parent. And every single time the experience of others has already been disrupted by the time I hear about it and can do something about it. We have excellent childcare provided as part of membership. Please use it."

 

I just do not get why people would not use childcare that is free and available. And they look so surprised when I have to go talk to them. Or they get abusive.

[Anne in CA]

We have had a few threads lately about people who don't want to supervise their children, but I am guessing these people fall under another category. The, "I worked all day and feel guilty about spending an hour and a half at the gym so I will let my little pumpkin do whatever they want for that hour and a half." category might work for them. Maybe I am an wrong. There should be an actual policy about children under 12 being in child care though. I have never belonged to a gym that didn't have such a policy.

[Jean in Newcastle]

There is an actual policy. I kicked a mom and her baby out of a class today and cited the policy as I did it. I kicked out a mom and 3 kids on Friday and again, cited the policy. I hate doing it but it isn't fair to all the other people who are following the policy (or counting on it being enforced) if I don't.

[Rosie_0801]

I guess their mums didn't tell them they aren't the only ones in the world.

[VeganCupcake]

Are gym employees not enforcing the policy? Or are you a gym employee? I can't even imagine a child running around or even using the equipment in the exercise area of my gym. That would never be permitted. And I don't think any parent would dare try it at my gym--it's just not done.

[wingedradical]

Would you want to leave your child in this child care facility?

 

I only ask because I once joined a gym that had childcare. My child enjoyed it. But as the gym grew, so did the number of children yet the gym didn't take this into account in allowing for space and workers. When this happened, I just left my son home with his dad (I often did, anyway) but not everyone has the option.

[Seasider]

There is an actual policy. I kicked a mom and her baby out of a class today and cited the policy as I did it. I kicked out a mom and 3 kids on Friday and again, cited the policy. I hate doing it but it isn't fair to all the other people who are following the policy (or counting on it being enforced) if I don't.

 

Every gym I have ever been/belonged to had a zero tolerance policy for underage kids. It likely had a lot to do with insurance and liability.

 

Sorry you have to be the bouncer. But you can keep pointing them back to the rules.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I am a volunteer at the Y. I am asked to handle problems and to appeal to gym policy when I talk to people. If I need backup, I am to get a staff member. I do not like this part of my job. I much preferred helping a disabled person get set up for the class tonight and other tasks of that sort.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Would you want to leave your child in this child care facility?

 

I only ask because I once joined a gym that had childcare. My child enjoyed it. But as the gym grew, so did the number of children yet the gym didn't take this into account in allowing for space and workers. When this happened, I just left my son home with his dad (I often did, anyway) but not everyone has the option.

 

Yes. They have very good childcare with a lot of staff supervising the kids. My dd volunteers in the childcare area so I know the kind of care the kids get.

[Samiam]

I don't leave my children in the child care room. I don't leave them with strangers, overcrowded rooms, nothing to do. I don't take them into class though. I do take them on the indoor track, they run laps or sit quietly on the side with iPods. I'd take offense if you approached me waving policy in my face. They generally are not acting as you've described nonetheless I'll not be leaving them in a small room with many other children , understaffed by underpaid employees no matter policy.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I don't leave my children in the child care room. I don't leave them with strangers, overcrowded rooms, nothing to do. I don't take them into class though. I do take them on the indoor track, they run laps or sit quietly on the side with iPods. I'd take offense if you approached me waving policy in my face. They generally are not acting as you've described nonetheless I'll not be leaving them in a small room with many other children , understaffed by underpaid employees no matter policy.

 

 

Policy does not state that you have to leave them in a small understaffed room. Though the rooms at our Y are spacious, have a staff:child ratio of 1:4 and are staffed with mostly very conscientious college students pursuing degrees in education so I don't think your description quite fits this particular situation. Policy does state that children must be supervised by parents and that they not be brought into certain classes for safety reasons. These parents are ignoring those rules. Many other parents follow the rules - some by taking advantage of the childcare, some by actually parenting. I really don't care if someone takes offense or not. I was asked to do this job when instructors were threatening to quit because of how bad it had gotten. I do get weary of it because these rules are based on common sense safety rules and courtesy.

[Dolphin]

We are lucky at our gym, they have a great kids program. The kids 10-14 can take a class to get certified to use some parts of the gym, and roam around outside childcare. They earn a bracelet with the program that they must wear at the gym to say they are certified. They make a big deal in the class about how this is a privilege and that if they don't respect it, their bracelet can be taken back. They also have family classes, yoga, zumba etc... So we have kids around, but it isn't a problem as they have been planned for. Also, everyone who joins knows that kids will be around. DS loves this as he is so proud of his bracelet.

 

That being said, before this one was around we were at a less family orientated gym, and I respected the rules as those were the rules. Then when the opportunity came I moved to a better place for us.

 

If so many people are breaking the rules, and as you are a volunteer is there someone you can talk to about maybe doing some family fitness programing at the times that seem to have the most rule breakers? If there is a time and place for it, then maybe people will use that. Another thought, new signs. If the signs have been up along time, people start to just zone them out. Nice bright pink or yellow signs stating the child policy of the gym might cut some of the problem out.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Dolphin, I've been working with two of the directors (basically managers) to try and address some of the reasons behind the problems. One problem was parents dropping off tweens and teens at times when there was nothing there for them to do. That actually has been successfully resolved and what was a very ugly situation has turned into a good one with cooperative kids who will joke with me and ask me to help them with their problems. A new problem that has been cropping up has been the parent who is right there but is not supervising their child. Part of the problem might be cultural as there has been a language barrier at times in explaining the policies at the gym. I've asked for signs before but it is probably time to ask again. In fact, now that I think about it, it would probably be a good idea to have the signs in a couple of different languages. We have a large immigrant population from many different countries. Of course, these problems can crop up with people from all sorts of cultures and backgrounds but it is hard when sometimes you have to have the child in question translate for the mom.

[Mrs Mungo]

Most gyms, even family gyms like the Y have their policies in their membership forms. You agree to those when you sign up. If you don't like a policy, then you should work with management to change it or find a different gym. Liability insurance is a big deal. In scouting groups you need a plethora of paperwork to put a kid on a horse, in a body of water or in other risky situations. Gym equipment is not a place for kids to be playing. If they know about it, do nothing and a kid gets hurt, *that* is when they will get in big trouble.

 

Sorry you are dealing with this, Jean. :(

[bettyandbob]

People are selfish. People don't think the rules apply to them.

 

It does not matter if the gym has a decent childcare area or not. The quality of childcare is not the question here. The question is are children permitted in classes, in the free weight area, on the floor where the machines are located, and yes are they permitted on the track. If the policy is no to those places it doesn't matter what you think of childcare, your dc do not belong in any of those places.

 

I believe our Y allows children on the track if running with a guardian. In other words do not put your dc on the track and then go do weights or run on the eliptical even if you can see them from where you are working out.

 

If you have a problem with the child care offered then you need to adjust your gym attendance times so that you don't need childcare. Many gyms open at 5 am and close at 11 pm. Get up early, workout and get home before dh goes to work. Go after the kids are in bed. Trade childcare with the neighbor. Do not make your problem, the problem of other patrons at the gym (no matter how well behaved you think they are and how you can really see them). When I belonged to the Y I used to like to find a quiet corner just off the track to stretch after I finished with the eliiptical. I would have been really annoyed in the space was taken by a couple of kids with ipods and no parent next to them. I paid for a membership, made sure I followed the rules regarding children, I expected fellow patrons to do the same.

 

So, Jean I do not why people insist on doing this. It is just another example of how rules are for other people.

[JNW]

I used to work at a gym and I had to kick the same kids out of the room with the equipment in it all the time. I talked to the same parents all the time. I'm not sure what their problem was. I always cited the "very strict insurance policy" and they seemed to get that.

 

Our policies were very clearly stated on the walls of the gym and on the membership agreement. People simply ignored them to fit their own desires.

 

I would talk to the owner/manager about making sure whoever sets up the memberships to very clearly state the policy to the new members, and let them know that their child will be asked to leave if they don't adhere to the rules. Maybe there should be a policy where the people get written up with warnings, and then have their membership suspended after a certain number of "strikes," or something.

[Cera]

At our Y the instructor will ask anyone who brings a child into class to leave. It is certainly their responsibility to maintain order in their classes and there is no reason other patrons should have to suffer because of a few parents who don't want to follow gym policy.

[momofkhm]

I haven't belonged to our Y in a long time but ours must be set up differently. The childcare areas were downstairs. The adult only spaces were upstairs. I'm sure a staff member would question anyone with a child on the second floor. Well, I take that back. Infants in car seats were welcome in the pre-post natal exercise class. But everyone expected them in there.

 

I'm sorry you have to deal with that Jean.

[JNW]

Could you find her membership agreement and show it to to her? "You signed off on this rule on 6/2/2011." Then you could keep documentation by writing the date of the conversation on the back of the agreement. So if it gets out of hand the person can't deny that they've broken the rules. Talk about embarrassing!

[Butter]

I don't leave my children in the child care room. I don't leave them with strangers, overcrowded rooms, nothing to do. I don't take them into class though. I do take them on the indoor track, they run laps or sit quietly on the side with iPods. I'd take offense if you approached me waving policy in my face. They generally are not acting as you've described nonetheless I'll not be leaving them in a small room with many other children , understaffed by underpaid employees no matter policy.

 

As a teenager I worked in a Kids' Club (childcare) part of a gym. Our location was actually around the corner from the regular gym. No kids could go through the front doors of the actually gym. There are insurance reasons for this.Fact is, if you have signed an agreement saying you will not have your kids in certain areas, then taking offense to someone telling you you have to remove them because of policy makes zero sense. If you don't like the policy, don't sign the agreement and figure out something else for working out. I really don't understand the mindset of rules people agreed to when they signed up not applying to them.

[hillfarm]

For goodness sake! Gym use is a privilege, not a right. Observe the rules or STAY HOME. Or better yet, if someone has kids and no one they could leave them with, then they should take the kids and go to the park or take a hike, ride bikes, whatever. It is actually an act of selfishness for them to choose an activity in which the children under their care cannot participate, not to mention the selfishness of expecting others to watch/watch out for/put up with their little darlings. Jean, I imagine a lot of your paying customers are secretly applauding your actions. I know I would be.

 

Rules are rules. Just be fair, consistent, follow stated policies and let the chips fall where they may. For the first infraction, I would kindly speak to the person. "I'm sorry, but we have a 'No one under 14' policy. You need to take your children out of the gym now." Second infraction, I would hand them a copy of the agreement with the pertinent section highlighted, and tell them that you would hate to see their membership revolked for ignoring the rules. Subsequent infraction, formal letter stating that the next time they bring their children to the gym, their membership will automatically be terminated.

 

This has to apply to anyone bringing children, not just the unruly ones. Even though some children may sit obediently, that causes the others to think the rules have changed or no longer are being enforced, and back come the brats. I just don't comprehend why some people think they are so special that they should be allowed to disregard the rules that apply to everyone.

[Hikin' Mama]

I'm sure your efforts are appreciated, Jean! We don't have a huge problem with this at our gym, but I have been irritated on more than one occassion when children are in the weight area goofing around with equipment or just sitting on a bench doing nothing. Ours is a small gym, so if a child is monopolizing something, that's less equipment available for the PAYING adults who are actually trying to get a workout in, often with a limited time frame. I have no problem, though, approaching said children and sweetly saying, "Excuse me, I need to use this machine/bench now." They always move. :)

[Jean in Newcastle]

I just woke up and can't quote everyone but I chose a small representative sample to respond to:

 

I used to work at a gym and I had to kick the same kids out of the room with the equipment in it all the time. I talked to the same parents all the time. I'm not sure what their problem was. I always cited the "very strict insurance policy" and they seemed to get that.

 

Our policies were very clearly stated on the walls of the gym and on the membership agreement. People simply ignored them to fit their own desires.

 

I would talk to the owner/manager about making sure whoever sets up the memberships to very clearly state the policy to the new members, and let them know that their child will be asked to leave if they don't adhere to the rules. Maybe there should be a policy where the people get written up with warnings, and then have their membership suspended after a certain number of "strikes," or something.

 

 

One of the problems is that the Y is specifically set up to reach whole families - including kids from dysfunctional families. It doesn't say it exactly like that in their mission statement but that is a more blunt way of putting it. So the directors have been slow to enforce the rules in the past. I had to point out to them what a dangerous situation this was allowing. It was only when the director suspended the worst teens for a time that the teen situation got better. And the thing is, of course, that having strict but fair rules is really what these kids need to grow. The same kids who were screaming profanities at me (and yes, it was that bad) are now telling new kids what the rules are and are giving me thumbs up to show me that they've got things under control!

 

At our Y the instructor will ask anyone who brings a child into class to leave. It is certainly their responsibility to maintain order in their classes and there is no reason other patrons should have to suffer because of a few parents who don't want to follow gym policy.

 

 

Yeah. The only reason I was asked to get involved was because the instructors were having to repeatedly stop the class to take care of these problems. And they were threatening to quit over it.

 

 

Could you find her membership agreement and show it to to her? "You signed off on this rule on 6/2/2011." Then you could keep documentation by writing the date of the conversation on the back of the agreement. So if it gets out of hand the person can't deny that they've broken the rules. Talk about embarrassing!

 

 

I'm allowed to politely ask someone to stop a behavior and to give a reason for it. If there is a problem beyond that, I am supposed to get a staff member. The only problem is that the staff desk is down the hall and around the corner and by the time I've walked down there, gotten a staff member's attention, waited for them to be free to come and then we walk down the hall again, some time has passed. If there is an immediate problem, the situation has been continuing all of this time.

[JNW]

Seems your hands are kinda tied, and it is not convenient to get help from anyone else.

 

I wonder if you could ask for their name, then notify the front desk. Where I worked there was a computer option to deliver a "check-in message" to the member when they checked in. The front desk staff would relay a message like, "This is a friendly reminder to please keep your children off of the equipment."

 

Or you could start documenting at how many times it happens each time you work, and pass it on to your boss. Even if you don't have their names, it would get the point across to the person that should be concerned about the insurance policy.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Seems your hands are kinda tied, and it is not convenient to get help from anyone else.

 

I wonder if you could ask for their name, then notify the front desk. Where I worked there was a computer option to deliver a "check-in message" to the member when they checked in. The front desk staff would relay a message like, "This is a friendly reminder to please keep your children off of the equipment."

 

Or you could start documenting at how many times it happens each time you work, and pass it on to your boss. Even if you don't have their names, it would get the point across to the person that should be concerned about the insurance policy.

 

 

The only reason the directors started to take notice in the first place is because I e-mailed them every single time there was a problem with my report. They got tired of being inundated with e-mails.

 

Yes, my hands are tied a bit. It is not a comfortable situation to be in because I am a volunteer and not a staff member and yet I'm being asked to take care of something that the staff was not taking care of. Part of the problem is that 90% of the staff members are college age and these kids are just not mature enough to handle a problem like this. Back when things were really bad, I would ask a staff member to come and these kids would tell me that they were scared to come and help me out. But I couldn't do anything without them. The directors are adults my age but they work a more typical 9 to 5 and are gone when the bulk of the problem starts in the evenings when kids and families are done with work and school. But like I said, the teen problems are so much better.

 

I was a bit blindsided by the problems we are now having with parents. I understood the teen problems because these kids were dropped off and were bored. I actually didn't blame the kids so much because of it. On my advice, the directors actually talked to the parents of the teens involved who had been clueless about the problem and that was part of the solution. But these parents now are at the Y with their kids. They aren't just dropping them off and the kids involved are younger than 8 years old and are not old enough for the bracelets they give to tweens who have completed a gym training class. All I can figure is that the parents don't want to take the five minutes it takes to sign their kids into the program.

[Anne in CA]

It does sound to me like you have done everything you can and acted with maturity and grace. Some things are just hard. Our culture today has problems with many people who just do not mind if their children are a nuisance. My cousin who taught 5th grade had horror stories.

[ElizabethB]

:grouphug:

 

It sounds like the directors need to take a week and schedule to cover the problem times and see for themselves the problems and help solve them. If they shifted their schedules later and alternated days, it would not be one person working 24 hour days. I would suggest they do something like that--or if it is a few problem nights, just those nights for a few weeks.

[Luanne]

It does sound to me like you have done everything you can and acted with maturity and grace. Some things are just hard. Our culture today has problems with many people who just do not mind if their children are a nuisance. My cousin who taught 5th grade had horror stories.

 

This is totally true. Today's society is very hands-off in childrearing. They just want the child to be "happy" and don't care about anything else. The safety of the child and the other people around them means nothing to them. This is exactly why I got out of childcare. I was tired of the "whatever Katie wants, Katie gets" mentality. And yes, I actually had a parent of a child I was taking care of say that to me.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Good idea, Elizabeth. Two directors did come for a meeting for me and a "tour of the problems" of sorts. I did point out to them that the nights we had the teen problems were the times we didn't have a gym open for them. One of the staff was a genius (I mean this genuinely and not sarcastically!) and suggested we lock up the basketballs on those nights since they had no place for the teens to actually use them without getting into trouble. I need to discuss this new problem with them to see if we can trouble-shoot what the problems might be. The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of bilingual signs as one solution. It's a bit weird because I shouldn't be the one having to organize all this but I'm johnny-on-the-spot at the Y every single day and our whole family is very involved.

[goldberry]

I don't leave my children in the child care room. I don't leave them with strangers, overcrowded rooms, nothing to do. I don't take them into class though. I do take them on the indoor track, they run laps or sit quietly on the side with iPods. I'd take offense if you approached me waving policy in my face. They generally are not acting as you've described nonetheless I'll not be leaving them in a small room with many other children , understaffed by underpaid employees no matter policy.

 

If your children are allowed on the indoor track or other areas, that's fine. If they are not, and you are not happy with the child care room, you have the choice of leaving them home, with a sitter, or not attending that particular club.

 

If you would "take offense" over a policy, you shouldn't be at a club with that policy. Simple as that.

[ElizabethB]

Good idea, Elizabeth. Two directors did come for a meeting for me and a "tour of the problems" of sorts. I did point out to them that the nights we had the teen problems were the times we didn't have a gym open for them. One of the staff was a genius (I mean this genuinely and not sarcastically!) and suggested we lock up the basketballs on those nights since they had no place for the teens to actually use them without getting into trouble. I need to discuss this new problem with them to see if we can trouble-shoot what the problems might be. The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of bilingual signs as one solution. It's a bit weird because I shouldn't be the one having to organize all this but I'm johnny-on-the-spot at the Y every single day and our whole family is very involved.

 

Sounds like a good plan!

 

If you can't find translations locally, I'm sure the hive could generate a list of phrases and rules in several languages to help!!

 

The possible thread titles make me want to laugh and cry at the same time:

 

Please help me translate "Don't do X" into Spanish, Russian, Japanese and Chinese. You could run around with a little phrasebook or laminated rule guide in several languages.

[Jean in Newcastle]

 

Please help me translate "Don't do X" into Spanish, Russian, Japanese and Chinese. You could run around with a little phrasebook or laminated rule guide in several languages.

 

I can do the Japanese myself. ;) In fact it was rather hilarious trying to interpret a charity event one night in Japanese when I was asked. I finally gave up and said "They want you to give them money." They did.

 

Really, now that the teen situation is better, we have whole weeks go by where I don't have to speak to anyone about a problem. My volunteering then is confined to pointing out the bathrooms, the locker rooms, getting fans and chairs for instructors and things of that sort. When we do have problems they tend to come in clumps for some reason. We're just in a clump right now.