fairfarmhand Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Dd was painting the other day. She kept wiping her hands on my dishtowels. Me: "Hey, would you please stop doing that and get a rag? That will ruin my dishtowels." (not that they look all that great, but I don't want paint all over them.) Dd: "What's your problem? It's just acrylic. It will wash out." Me: "Ummmm.... sometimes it does, but it really does stain." Dd: "(sarcastically) "So I guess you're saying all the paint on my clothes isn't going to come out too?" Me: "Maybe. Maybe not. I just prefer that you use a rag instead of dishtowels. I don't want my towels stained." Dd: "Mmmmm Hmmmm. Sure. Whatever." The look on her face is what is so infuriating. It's totally disdainful. Like Mom is SUCH an idiot. Can't wait till she gets her clothes out of the dryer. (yes. That is totally spiteful. Some days, I really am like that!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Yikes! I'd feel the same way. And we'd be having a discussion about respect and attitudes and I think the next time she wanted something from me I'd be like "hmmm, I don't really feel like doing favors for people who treat me that way." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 If the paint didn't come out, somebody would be buying me nice new kitchen towels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 If the paint didn't come out, somebody would be buying me nice new kitchen towels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 "You know, honey, it's not really about the dish towels. Not anymore, anyway..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted May 31, 2013 Author Share Posted May 31, 2013 "You know, honey, it's not really about the dish towels. Not anymore, anyway..." Why can't I like this more than once. I must stash this quote back for future reference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flowing Brook Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 For that attitude somebody in my house would be losing their paints for a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Put on her favorite shirt and paint with her. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galatea Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 After the "What's your problem?" line I would explain to my child that I ask them things as a way to train them how to be polite, but that requests from me are not optional. And I probably would have taken the paints away for the night. But then, disrespect is really a line in the sand for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 That kid would be buying me new dishtowels regardless of what they looked like after a trip through the laundry. And, yeah, I'd be tempted to use one of her favorite shirts to dry the dishes in the meantime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ApronMama Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 I share your pain with des who is also becoming a master of attitude. Off topic--that calf in your signature is so cute!!!! Makes me smile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Maybe you should stash some crayons in her pocket before you wash her clothes.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted June 1, 2013 Author Share Posted June 1, 2013 I share your pain with des who is also becoming a master of attitude. Off topic--that calf in your signature is so cute!!!! Makes me smile. She is even sweeter than she is cute! Her name is Valentine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Maybe you should stash some crayons in her pocket before you wash her clothes.... :p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flowing Brook Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Maybe you should stash some crayons in her pocket before you wash her clothes.... wouldn't this be teaching her to be revengeful? This would not be teaching her, it is just passive aggressiveness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 wouldn't this be teaching her to be revengeful? This would not be teaching her, it is just passive aggressiveness. Of course. I'm not serious. Just trying to bring a smile to FFH. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flowing Brook Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Of course. I'm not serious. Just trying to bring a smile to FFH. I am sorry, I should have picked up on that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 NP! My sense of humor is a little wacko and sarcastic from time to time. :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Of course. I'm not serious. Just trying to bring a smile to FFH. Right. You think it but don't do it. (It might get on your dryer after all!) It is like microchiping the kids. Or hiding the sweater you asked them to pick up repeatedly. Or watching the dog chew up the toy you said to put away. You think it. Smile. And move on being the responsible adult. (Said the mom who taped her kid's door crime scene style when she left on an outing without cleaning up her mess. :p ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Right. You think it but don't do it. (It might get on your dryer after all!) It is like microchiping the kids. Or hiding the sweater you asked them to pick up repeatedly. Or watching the dog chew up the toy you said to put away. You think it. Smile. And move on being the responsible adult. (Said the mom who taped her kid's door crime scene style when she left on an outing without cleaning up her mess. :p ) Ha! Where can I get some of that crime scene tape?!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Ha! Where can I get some of that crime scene tape?!! Well I used packing tape, but then Sister told me the older sister of her friend has caution tape on her door. They must be selling it somewhere! My kids thought it was hilarious and the boys wanted thier room taped as well. Crazy kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khselee Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 http://www.amazon.com/Yellow-Caution-Barricade-Tape-1000/dp/B000X92M6I/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1370157034&sr=8-1&keywords=caution+tape I have a couple of rolls that I've used for things before. It's neat stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 Oh wow. If that were my dd, the paints would have been out the window 5 seconds after "What's your problem?" You're going to trash my things? I'm going to trash yours. Mad Face. Sadly, perhaps, my kids know that I have no qualms about throwing things out the window. Bonus points if they land in the creek. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillfarm Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 "My problem is that you are speaking very disrespectfully to me. That is not how we relate to each other in this family. Since you seem unable to maintain mature attitudes and behaviors while painting, you can put the paints away and launder my towels. You can earn your paints back when you have demonstrated that you are mature enough to handle the responsibility that comes with them." "But, blah, blah, blah, sputter, sputter..." "I treat those who act like toddlers in accordance with their behavior. When you can act like a teen, I will be very happy to treat you like one." Wow. I would show minimal mercy to a child who spoke to me in such a disrespectful way. I would then take the paints and put them away. You are not doing your dd any favors by tolerating such behavior. Because I can guarantee you that if I (or someone like me) happen to be her future boss, she would be out on the curb in a heartbeat if she tried to treat me this way. You can do the hard work of teaching her this lesson now, while nothing important is riding on it. If you wait, it may be her rent, or the food on her children's plates that is in jeopardy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 Wow. My big kids know that acrylic never washes out, to wear appropriate clothing, and to use it only in the dining room where there are wood floors. My little kids know they aren't allowed to touch acrylic paints. If they even thought of wiping acrylic paint on towels or anything else, they'd lose the privilege of using them for a long time and be stuck with only tempera and watercolors. Talking back like that gets big consequences as well. I hope you can get the paint out, but I've never seen acrylic come out of fabric once it has dried. If you get it rinsed out immediately before it has dried, there's some hope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 Ha! Where can I get some of that crime scene tape?!! Well I used packing tape, but then Sister told me the older sister of her friend has caution tape on her door. They must be selling it somewhere! My kids thought it was hilarious and the boys wanted thier room taped as well. Crazy kids. You can get caution tape at Home Depot, it's used on construction sites sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted June 3, 2013 Author Share Posted June 3, 2013 "My problem is that you are speaking very disrespectfully to me. That is not how we relate to each other in this family. Since you seem unable to maintain mature attitudes and behaviors while painting, you can put the paints away and launder my towels. You can earn your paints back when you have demonstrated that you are mature enough to handle the responsibility that comes with them." "But, blah, blah, blah, sputter, sputter..." "I treat those who act like toddlers in accordance with their behavior. When you can act like a teen, I will be very happy to treat you like one." Wow. I would show minimal mercy to a child who spoke to me in such a disrespectful way. I would then take the paints and put them away. You are not doing your dd any favors by tolerating such behavior. Because I can guarantee you that if I (or someone like me) happen to be her future boss, she would be out on the curb in a heartbeat if she tried to treat me this way. You can do the hard work of teaching her this lesson now, while nothing important is riding on it. If you wait, it may be her rent, or the food on her children's plates that is in jeopardy. I know this....really I do. These scenarios happen multiple times a day and have occurred for years. I SO get tired of consequences and discussion. Because any time that I address it, she claims that there's absolutely nothing wrong with speaking to me like that, She says that she has no idea what I mean when I say she's speaking disrespectfully. When consequences occur, it is not because she did something wrong. It is because mom or dad were in a bad mood . The circling around and around is exhausting. This not a one time thing, and I never come out of discussions feeling like anything was accomplished. That;s the frustrating part. What do you do when a kid insists that the way that they talk to you is always fine even when it's not? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 In my house the convo might start that way, but after the "what's your problem line" I wouldn't have been saying too much more. At that point is when I say "I simply asked to be polite, what I am saying is if you use my dish cloths again I am tossing out your paints, got it?" As for the sassiness, it would not have gotten past that first comment, a) because I shut it down with the above comment and b ) because if they tried it again generally speaking I just have to say "excuse me?" while taking a step towards them, and they start backpedalling right quick. followed by me saying "mmm hmmm, you will NOT speak to me in that way" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garddwr Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 Disrespect = automatic extra chores at my house. Used frequently at meal times when children say "Yuck! I don't like this!" Some opinions and attitudes just need to be kept to yourself--you can feel that way, but in our family we do our best to treat each other with kindness and respect. Now you all have heard my lecture :) I'm actually working through this list of social skills with my children (this page has them broken down into steps to teach explicitly). It might look awkward or scripted at first but I find having form to follow in a given situation helps kids to respond in an appropriate way in spite of the irritation or embarrassment they are feeling--that would otherwise lead them to respond with "attitude". (At least, I'm hoping it works out that way. So far I've only had to deal with the relatively minor attitude issues of kids under ten. I'm not super excited to see what teen hormones will add to the mix). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamaraby Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 Ha! Where can I get some of that crime scene tape?!! Not sure where you are, but I get my caution tape at Farm & Fleet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 <snip> Because any time that I address it, she claims that there's absolutely nothing wrong with speaking to me like that, She says that she has no idea what I mean when I say she's speaking disrespectfully. When consequences occur, it is not because she did something wrong. It is because mom or dad were in a bad mood . The circling around and around is exhausting. This not a one time thing, and I never come out of discussions feeling like anything was accomplished. That;s the frustrating part. What do you do when a kid insists that the way that they talk to you is always fine even when it's not? I quit arguing with them - oh, excuse me, I quit discussing it with them :laugh: I would tell her to knock it off, that she has been raised to know what disrespect is, and that I strongly advise her to not plead ignorance the next time. Then, when she pleads ignorance the next time, I would apologize for failing her so badly, "I am so sorry. Clearly, you don't know what I'm talking about. Let's address that right away! Get the dictionary and a notebook, and copy out the following fifty words in triplicate: respect, obedience, arrogance, disdain, grounded . . . " She is playing you. Stop explaining and persuading, and give a consequence every time she is disrespectful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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