If you came late to homeschooling, please tell me about it

[Miss Mousie]

If you pulled your child from public school in later elementary or middle school years, can you tell me about it?

 

Why did you decide to do it?

 

How did you and your DC handle the transition?

 

Did your child want to be homeschooled, or did you make the decision without his or her input?

 

Knowing what you know now, would you make the same choice again? What would you do differently?

 

Tell me some stories, ladies. :lurk5:

[regentrude]

I pulled my DD out from 6th grade ps, DS from 5th.

I started researching homeschooling when we were planning a semester abroad and had found out that the school here was a full year behind her same age German peers in math.

After we returned, we kept her home permanently.

 

Why did you decide to do it?

 

My DD was not challenged in ps. She had been reading books in class, with teacher permission, since 1st grade.

The academic level was simply not appropriate.

Add bullying to the mix, and there was no reason why she should have continued to go to school.

We have no school choices in our town.

 

How did you and your DC handle the transition?

 

Fabulous. It went absolutely great.

When I pulled minimalist DS from 5th grade a year later, I was apprehensive, but it surpassed my wildest dreams.

 

Did your child want to be homeschooled, or did you make the decision without his or her input?

 

I had started thinking about it and mentioned it. One day she came home from school and asked: "Mom, when you said you would hoemschool me, did you mean it?" We withdrew her two weeks later at the end of the quarter.

 

Knowing what you know now, would you make the same choice again? What would you do differently?

 

I would still send them to elementary school, because they did have a good experience, even though it was not academically challenging.

The one thing I would do differently: I would not send them to Middle school (5th grade) at all, but bring them home after 4th grade.

I still regret that i put my DD through the horrible 5th grade experience.

[Miss Mousie]

 

My DD was not challenged in ps. She had been reading books in class, with teacher permission, since 1st grade.

The academic level was simply not appropriate.

Add bullying to the mix, and there was no reason why she should have continued to go to school.

We have no school choices in our town.

 

 

This is our situation precisely. Sigh. Bullying doesn’t seem to be too bad, though (although DS might disagree with me – he can be quite sensitive and sometimes misinterprets things).

 

One of the sticking points for me is friendships. I don’t want DS to miss the experience/practice of “water cooler conversation,†and of course I want him to develop a couple of strong friendships; unfortunately, in his whole school experience so far, he really hasn’t found a solid friend. L So I guess he wouldn’t be missing much – but I am still afraid to close that door on him.

[regentrude]

One of the sticking points for me is friendships. I don’t want DS to miss the experience/practice of “water cooler conversation,†and of course I want him to develop a couple of strong friendships; unfortunately, in his whole school experience so far, he really hasn’t found a solid friend. L So I guess he wouldn’t be missing much – but I am still afraid to close that door on him.

 

My kids HAVE friends. They do not spend seven hours daily in a large group of same age kids, but they have friends.

We are part of a homeschool group that meets once a week for the kids to just get together and socialize at the park, gym, skating rink... Many of the kids have circles of friends who get together outside of these weekly meetings as well. My son sees some of his friends at the twice weekly TKD practice. They also have set up a server and are playing online games together, chat by computer every night, meet for parties or just to hang out at each other's houses.

 

Homeschoolers can find friends in sports, choir, orchestra, community theatre, chess club, outside classes, coops, scouts, robotics club.... Homeschooling does not mean that the kids spend all their time at home with mom.

 

ETA: My DD started taking college classes in 9th grade. She never had any problem interacting with the other students, working in groups, doing simple "watercooler" talk. She is now working as a tutor in the physics learning center of the university. She interacts normally -homeschooling has not made her socially "different".

[rdj2027]

We are a military family and the frequent moves have played a role in our decision to homeschool. We pulled our youngest son out of PS in 5th grade for academic reasons and his behavior "problems"

We simply had enough.

 

We pulled our 2nd oldest son out after 7th grade as none of the schools had accomodated his documented vision and executive function issues. He was denied any accelerated classes based on grades which were due to seating arrangements, other students rather than teachers grading work and lack of support from teachers (they told us since he was passing classes there was no problem, he could not sit up front because that's where the troublemakers sit. No, he could not have written notes of the class lectures because that would be unfair to other students, and no he cannot hand in typed work as this would be unfair to students who could not afford a computer at home. No, they cannot accommodate his documented dysgraphia. Again, we had enough.

 

Our oldest son we pulled out in 3rd grade due to academics (he is profoundly gifted) and sent him to school overseas and our daughter in 3rd grade as well due to academics.

 

For our two middle boys the transition was bumpy in some ways but overall I am very pleased. We have seen profound changes in our youngest son. He is once again, the happy and very inquisitive child we have known during the toddler years. He turned out to be a visual-spatial-kinesthetic learner and we will have him assessed because we would like to access certain programs that require that piece of paper. He is doing college level physics just fine, has a strong interest in chemistry and his hate of math has turned into seeing it as fun thanks to AoPS. For our daughter the change was easy, I reset the academic standard to a higher achievement level and she is loving it. I am happy because they are all doing so much better and I am actually enjoying the teaching experience. I also love the flexibility homeschooling gives us.

 

Until we made the decision homeschooling was not really an idea we entertained. It took a very acerbic meeting with our youngest son's principal that made us disenroll them on the way out of her office.

 

We would absolutely do it again in this situation and our only regret is not having done so earlier. All four of our children had experiences in PS they should not have had by a longshot, but it was really detrimental to our youngest son. He will repeat 6th grade because this year has mostly been spent in letting him de-stress and dealing with his depression. He simply wasn't ready to learn and I wasn't ready to teach a child who learns in a very different manner than the other three. We may let our 2nd oldest son repeat 8th grade because we had to correct or eradicate many bad routines/habits and instill new ones. For an Asperger's child that is a huge accomplishment but it meant we neglected some subjects (social studies, science, art/music). However, we think that the ability to organize his time, space and work, to set priorities and achievable goals will serve him well for the rest of his life. On the other hand has a vast knowledge thanks to his love of reading. We may just as well let him go on and add a 5th year of high school if necessary.

 

If there were other options (i.e. an affordable all boys school for gifted, spatial-visual-kinesthetic learners ) we probably would have gone that route. Our oldest and youngest son as well as our daughter are very competitive and social people, they [would] benefit from being with other likeminded children for prolonged periods of time and miss that group feeling. Our second oldest son is much happier by not having to be with other people all day long.

[Miss Mousie]

Oh my goodness, regentrude, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply that your kids don't have friends, or that homeschoolers generally do not! Far from it! :) I think I muddled that point in my post.

 

I was thinking only of *my* kid, who has not had much success in the friend department, mostly because of my and DH’s work schedules. If I were to homeschool and either not work or work from home, he'd have far more opportunities for extracurriculars or casual get-togethers than he has now at PS, because I'd be able to drive him hither and yon, which is not possible now.

 

As for my “watercooler†comment, I was thinking that, even with extracurriculars like a TKD class, the kids don’t really have that much time to chit-chat – they show up a few minutes before class begins and leave a few minutes after it ends. I don’t know of any homeschool group locally, but I’m sure that would give plenty of that kind of time.

[AMJ]

I am about to pull my two, currently in 5th and 3rd grades. Elder DD has some diagnosed issues, and they are very key to our decision. However, we also are quite underwhelmed with our local school choices. The public schools failed to teach eldest DD in 1st grade (she had a bad teacher and the school was so crowded they couldn't move her to a different teacher). The private schools are either very expensive, very strongly religiously oriented, or both. The exception are the local Catholic schools, but they only go through 8th grade, and eldest DD still won't fit the classroom schedule well.

 

Our current private school has become less "non-denominational" and more "fundamentalist" for our taste, and we don't like how to current administration is running things academically. I have written letters of recommendation for 3 outstanding teachers who are being let go for very poor reasons. The board and the administration have a real problem communicating good-to-know information to parents, and have said one thing and done something entirely different too many times to be trusted anymore.

 

As a result, we are starting home school once this school year ends. My kids weren't thrilled at the idea of leaving their friends behind. However, the friends that matter most also happen to be leaving the school as well, so they won't be there next year, either. We are already reaching out to firm up friendships and stay in touch. We are making plans with many for get-togethers.

 

After talking to our kids about why we want to home school the kids started seeing it more positively. After I suggested the schedule I'd prefer they were quite excited. We have decided together that we would home school year 'round, but 4 days per week. This would still leave us with 7 weeks (at least) to scatter around the year for breaks and vacation, and would eliminate the 2nd-half-of-summer boredom. The non-school day each week can be put to other purposes (some of them actually school): one day a month for field trips, one day a month for "home blessing" (catching up on housework), one day a month for shopping & errands (my eldest is all for this!), and one day a month for school catch-up and/or extra time for projects. A couple of times a year we can expect to have an extra non-school day per month -- these will be bonus days, and we will decide together what we want to do with them as they come up.

 

I've heard from so many different sources that in making a switch like this it is helpful to "deschool" -- have an extended time period in which the kids are no longer in brick & mortar (B&M) school, but not yet homeschooling. What I plan for this deschooling period might seem short to many (a few months, or summer, is a commonly suggested length), but I've been doing so much work with the kids after school to reteach and get homework done I don't think the change will be as dramatic for them as it otherwise might be. I plan on 2 weeks of no homeschool, followed by a summer of homeschool "lite".

 

During this light summer I will review math with them to firm up my understanding of where they are. I will also blitz through Story of the World (SOTW) Ancients -- I know they are written for younger kids, but they give me a spine I can build upon, and I want to cover Ancient History quickly this first time through (I have a degree in archaeology, so they already know more "old stuff" than most kids their age). We will start typing, Aikido, and piano lessons. And we will do "home blessing intensive" -- lots of instruction and practice in household cleaning, cooking, and home finances. (This last because they need it, and hands-on lessons need some time. I can cover them better when we don't have to worry about covering our academic subjects enough each day.

 

My only regret is that we did not have DD11 tested BY A NEUROPSYCHOLOGIST earlier. She was tested back in 1st grade by someone our current school strongly recommended, but that gal was useless (unprofessional, and testing beyond her qualifications). Had we known then what we know now school would have been a lot less frustrating for her. Or we would have started home school earlier.

[freesia]

Oh my goodness, regentrude, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply that your kids don't have friends, or that homeschoolers generally do not! Far from it! :) I think I muddled that point in my post.

 

I was thinking only of *my* kid, who has not had much success in the friend department, mostly because of my and DH’s work schedules. If I were to homeschool and either not work or work from home, he'd have far more opportunities for extracurriculars or casual get-togethers than he has now at PS, because I'd be able to drive him hither and yon, which is not possible now.

 

As for my “watercooler†comment, I was thinking that, even with extracurriculars like a TKD class, the kids don’t really have that much time to chit-chat – they show up a few minutes before class begins and leave a few minutes after it ends. I don’t know of any homeschool group locally, but I’m sure that would give plenty of that kind of time.

 

Gently: If the "watercooler" talk hasn't worked for your child yet, it is likely school is not the best place for your son to socialize. Some folks don't do well being thrown in the deep end and expected to pick it up. Homeschooling you will be able to control the socializing and help your son learn the skills to make friends. You will be able to observe what may be going "wrong", choose likely new friends, have the time to spend with those new friends. If navigating the large group experience is important to you I suggest you build up a small friend base for him and then get him involved in a large group like park days or co-op. You will be there to observe and coach. (Remember to smile when folks say hello, it makes them feel comfortable. Ask them what they like to do and if you don't like it, too, ask them to tell you about it. . .)

Tell me some stories, ladies. :lurk5:

 

 

If I had known how much work it is, I never would have started.

If I had known how rewarding it is, I would have started a lot earlier.

[regentrude]

As for my “watercooler†comment, I was thinking that, even with extracurriculars like a TKD class, the kids don’t really have that much time to chit-chat – they show up a few minutes before class begins and leave a few minutes after it ends.

 

But they really don't have that much time to chit-chat in school either.

Yes, they are together with twenty or thirty other kids all day, but most of the time they are expected to be quiet, listen to the teacher, work on their assignments, line up in the hall without talking, walk to lunch without talking in the hall. In our high school, they have cut the time between classes down to three minutes to prevent the kids from socializing and getting into trouble in the hallway - three minutes to change rooms, run to the bathroom, take a bite of snack if you're lucky. The kids socialize during afterschool activities, clubs, band, sports.

[Tarreymere]

If you pulled your child from public school in later elementary or middle school years, can you tell me about it? Pulled dd1 from ninth grade and dd2 from eighth grade

 

Why did you decide to do it? dd1 was severly bullied, due to interest in theater, wore glasses, liked reading. Dd2 became fascinated with the 'ghetto' subculture and started running away from home and shoplifting to be like her 'peers'. Dd2 actually encouraged her 'friends' to target dd1, just to be funny at first but what happened became more and more cruel.

Both were identified as gifted in elementary school. Both had been good students. Both loved to read. Dd2 had always been more assertive than dd1 but in a positive way. Neither was challenged in the least at school and there was no real gifted program, just 'enrichment'. Dd2 was later diagnosed with a sociopathic personality disorder. I can tell you that public school encouraged the progression of that disorder.

 

How did you and your DC handle the transition?

Had dd2 literally chained to me with padlocks and chain from the hardware store. She was in and out of placement. Had a short but spectacular career as a juvenile criminal. Did jail time as an adult. Still not right. Dd1 bloomed at home, took an EMT course and later joined the Army and served as a medic in Iraq. Today she is a couple months from finishing nursing school and is thinking of continuing on from there.

 

Did your child want to be homeschooled, or did you make the decision without his or her input? I did not give either of them input. I did not give either of them a choice. It was a situation in which I felt I needed to take immediate action as I became aware of what was going on.

 

Knowing what you know now, would you make the same choice again? What would you do differently? If I could do it again I would have homechooled them from kindergarten. In fact, that is exactly why their younger sibs are homeschooled.

 

Sorry, typing with a broken couple of fingers.

 

Tell me some stories, ladies. :lurk5:

 

[1Togo]

We began homeschooling when two of our children were in in 8th and 11th grades and used Robinson Curriculum with them for several years, so they could focus on core skills. Using RC made the transition from school to home smooth for them and for me. We eventually added everything necessary to complete a transcript with our oldest child doing a gap year. Their academic work far exceeded anything they did in p.s., and years later, we still think it was a good decision.

[kerenlynne]

If you pulled your child from public school in later elementary or middle school years, can you tell me about it?

 

Why did you decide to do it?

 

How did you and your DC handle the transition?

 

Did your child want to be homeschooled, or did you make the decision without his or her input?

 

Knowing what you know now, would you make the same choice again? What would you do differently?

 

Tell me some stories, ladies. :lurk5:

Pulled DS out of PS after 1st semester of HS. Probably should have pulled him from Middle School but because of some personal experience with some very annoying Homeschoolers, I was not going to be one of them. DS has an LD and was on IEP but was not surviving the increasing speed and pressures of HS. He failed some core classes 1st semester and was very depressed. We felt like the school was not responsive to the situation as a whole so we figured we couldn't do any worse. Transition was a relief for him-we spent the 1st few months just relaxing and learning without any pressure. He was very happy to come home and does not miss school at all. I wish we had a good homeschool group for him to participate in but we don't. I do absolutely think we made the correct choice, but I wish we had made it sooner. To pull out during HS is a lot of pressure to get stuff done when you are just learning how to teach your kids. At least if we had pulled him out during Middle School, we would have had more time for a learning curve. As it is, I feel like I have this giant countdown clock moving so quickly and every day off or every time an assignment doesn't get done, I get a little panicky.

[Brenda in MA]

If you pulled your child from public school in later elementary or middle school years, can you tell me about it?

Why did you decide to do it?

 

We pulled my oldest out of ps at the end of 4th grade. We made the decision primarily for academic reasons, and somewhat for social reasons. The school had switched to "new" math the year before, and it was becoming increasingly apparent that my son wasn't learning any math with this program. He was also reading well above grade level and wasn't challenged. I spent his 4th grade year afterschooling him in math, and I realized that he was learning math at home just fine. That gave us the confidence to try homeschooling, at least for a year. We figured that we'd try 5th grade at home, and if it didn't work out, he could just start at the local middle school in 6th without a problem.

 

How did you and your DC handle the transition?

 

The transition went just fine. At the same time, I decided to keep my then 5 yo home for K because it seemed unfair to send one way while bringing the other one home. My 10 yo son did feel a little awkward because he wasn't getting on the bus, etc. We were able to arrange for him to join a bowling league on Saturdays with a friend he had made in school. In the spring, I took him to a hs convention, and I think he felt a little relieved to see that there were so many other hsed kids. He didn't feel "odd" any more. He also kept up his involvement with cub scouts.

 

We met a few other hsing families that year, but I was very busy just trying to get into a grove that year. A good bit of the curriculum I chose didn't fit as well as I would have liked, so I spent a lot of time researching new things. I also had to spend a good bit of time teaching the K child how to read.

 

At the end of the year, we determined that hsing was a success, and we decided to do 1st/6th at home as well. My curriculum picks were much better, and we had more free time, so we joined a hsing group and its associated coop. We haven't looked back since. Oldest did hs through high school and will be graduating from college next month. Younger one is a Jr in high school, also still at home.

 

Did your child want to be homeschooled, or did you make the decision without his or her input?

 

The idea to homeschool was mine. My son definitely wanted out of school, but I don't think he understood what the options were, and what homeschooling would really be like (neither did I at that point either :tongue_smilie:). If private schools were cheaper, we may have considered that. He definitely knew he wanted out of that particular school, though, so there was some buy in to the change.

 

Knowing what you know now, would you make the same choice again? What would you do differently?

 

Absolutely, I'd make the same choice again in a heartbeat. Homeschooling was a great decision for our family. I wish we had never sent our oldest to school. When we started hsing with him in the 5th grade, we had so much ground to make up, and he did do fabulously. However, he spent a good part of his high school years in the logic stage just because he learned so little in ps. It took a while to catch up. I can see now, in contrast with the youngest, who started hs in K, that those first 5 years of school (K-4th) are so foundational, and they really do effect the work/attitudes, etc. that come after them.

 

The other thing I would have done differently is to get my oldest into an outside coop for at least a few of his high school courses. In our hs group, most kids go to public or parochial high schools after homeschooing through grade 8. So a couple of hs friends my son had essentially "went away" once high school started because they just weren't available any more. My son spent part of his high school years a bit lonely. I should have pursued a local hs high school coop for him. He did attend CC courses in 12th, and that was a good experience for him.

 

I learned something from that experience, and his younger brother is in the hs high school coop for one class which meets twice/wk, and it has made all the difference. He is much happier, and he feels more connected and has more friends.

 

Looking back on 12 yrs of homeschooling (which will come to an end next year when youngest graduates), I am so glad for the time I was able to spend with my kids. They are only young so long, and once they grow up, that time is gone. I'm so glad we were able to build great relationships that will hopefully keep us all close in the years to come. I can honestly say that my kids are nice, grounded people, and I attribute a lot of that to hsing because it allowed them to develop into the individuals they are without the huge peer pressure that I see on a lot of teens today.

 

So that's our "story" -- best wishes to your on your journey,

Brenda

[dbmamaz]

I had first heard of homeschooling (and read learning all the time) before I had kids, but decided i wasnt up for it - plus my first husband and mom didnt support me. years later i was remarried. my oldest child, my daughter, was doing fine in school, buy my son (also from 1st marriage) was miserable. they were both bright, but he had behavioral issues. I really wanted to homeschool, but my second husband didnt support the idea either.

 

eventually my daughter was miserable in high school. we considered homeschooling, but she and I were barely speaking. instead we worked with the school to get her to finish most of her last 2 years at the community school for dual credit. She did a lot better, which I think increased my husband's (and mother's) trust in my judgement.

 

that year, my youngest started kindergarten and my older son started 7th grade. he was in special ed due to emotional issues but they really couldnt handle him. halfway through the year it was really bad. The 5 yo crawled in to our bed every morning crying not to go back to school. My older son's IEP meetings focused on how to keep him away from the phone, so he couldnt call me to come get him. Finally dh said he wouldnt veto if i wanted to homeschool the next year, but i had to follow the state's curriculum standards - because he thought i'd fail and have to put them back in school.

 

instead, everything went really well. Both boys were THRILLED when I told them they would be homeschooling the next year, and told anyone who would stand still how excited they were! They sometimes complain about the work, but completely agree that its much better than school. my younger one, tho, will most likely go to high school - i really want to get back to earning money for our old age!!

[Luckymama]

If you pulled your child from public school in later elementary or middle school years, can you tell me about it?

 

We pulled dd from her very good private school after fourth grade.

 

Why did you decide to do it?

 

We made the decision due to academics. Dd needed to be accelerated in math and the school couldn't accommodate her needs. I had afterschooled her siblings in math during their middle school years and I could have continued to do the same with dd. I just couldn't see paying all that tuition to squeeze in an hour between school and extracurricular activities. I knew that dd would be better served by quality instructional time at home.

 

How did you and your DC handle the transition?

 

We had no problems at all with the transition. I used the summer to prepare.

 

Did your child want to be homeschooled, or did you make the decision without his or her input?

 

In January of her fourth grade year dd asked to switch to a different school where she wouldn't be bored waiting for the rest of the class to finish their work. We researched various options (we live in a land of many, many private and charter schools) and discovered that even the most rigorous private schools wouldn't serve her needs. We discussed the pros and cons of the options, including homeschooling, and dd decided she wanted to try it out :)

 

Knowing what you know now, would you make the same choice again? What would you do differently?

 

I should have listened to my gut and pulled her out in second grade. She cried almost every day about going to school :( But my mother was ill with ovarian cancer and eventually died during dd's fourth grade year. I had to spend that time with my parents, you know?

 

At first we were only going to homeschool the middle grades, fifth through eighth, and then send her to one of the many options for private or charter high school. At the rate she is going she would outpace the math options as a high school sophomore at all but one school in this area (dual enrollment at the community college is very rare here, plus the cc doesn't offer advanced math!). It looks like dd will be home all the way through high school graduation :)

[dbmamaz]

oh, as for transition - the first year was definitely rough. it felt like we didnt get anything done at all. in retrospect, they did learn some, but the most important lesson was about learning how to work together. our relationship has really deepened. i didnt believe that, reading other ppl saying it, because i'm not very touchy-feely, but it really has changed imo. this is our 4th year homeschooling and its almost easy . . lol

[Mom22ns]

If you pulled your child from public school in later elementary or middle school years, can you tell me about it?

We pulled ds at the beginning of 6th grade, dd at the beginning of 5th.

 

Why did you decide to do it?

Public school stopped working for ds on many levels. It was a bad place for him.

 

How did you and your DC handle the transition?

It was smooth. On a Friday we went in at the end of the day got our stuff, left a letter in the office. On Monday we started homeschooling. I used borrowed materials while I bought ours, but we were just happy to be out of a bad situation.

 

Did your child want to be homeschooled, or did you make the decision without his or her input?

Ds wasn't sure. He knew things were bad where he was and he agreed to try it. It didn't take long before we both knew it had been the right choice. Dd was jealous and really wanted to join us the following year. I wouldn't have done it without their agreement, not at that age.

 

Knowing what you know now, would you make the same choice again? What would you do differently?

In a heartbeat. In fact I would have done it one year sooner. That is the only thing I would have done differently. It took some time to find our groove, to get the best fit in curriculum, to know how to best work together, but I don't think any of us has ever regretted the decision for one single day (maybe a few minute here and there). I consider it my best parenting decision ever.

 

 

:thumbup:

[AMJ]

We pulled our 2nd oldest son out after 7th grade as none of the schools had accomodated his documented vision and executive function issues. He was denied any accelerated classes based on grades which were due to seating arrangements, other students rather than teachers grading work and lack of support from teachers (they told us since he was passing classes there was no problem, he could not sit up front because that's where the troublemakers sit. No, he could not have written notes of the class lectures because that would be unfair to other students, and no he cannot hand in typed work as this would be unfair to students who could not afford a computer at home. No, they cannot accommodate his documented dysgraphia. Again, we had enough.

 

 

When DD11 was in 1st grade (in a VERY expensive private school) we had her vision checked out, suspecting far-sightedness (despite her passing vision screenings at school). We found out that she was indeed far-sighted, and also had vision function problems. It would take 2 weeks for her new glasses to come in, and further evaluation to plan the course of vision therapy she would need.

 

In the meantime she had daily headaches from eye strain, and many other problems. We asked the school immediately if she could take her spelling quizzes orally instead of written, JUST UNTIL HER NEW GLASSES ARRIVED (one or two weeks tops). We told them this was a TEMPORARY request to ease her eye strain and headaches until her glasses would come in. They refused, saying that they have to hold all of the students to the same standard.

 

What?!? They would have let her take them orally if she had broken her writing hand. How is this any different? She still would have to know how to spell the words, and this was first grade. The words weren't complicated.

[AMJ]

 

But they really don't have that much time to chit-chat in school either.

Yes, they are together with twenty or thirty other kids all day, but most of the time they are expected to be quiet, listen to the teacher, work on their assignments, line up in the hall without talking, walk to lunch without talking in the hall. In our high school, they have cut the time between classes down to three minutes to prevent the kids from socializing and getting into trouble in the hallway - three minutes to change rooms, run to the bathroom, take a bite of snack if you're lucky. The kids socialize during afterschool activities, clubs, band, sports.

 

This is why I drop my kids off at the START of morning carline, 30 minutes before they go to class. It gives them some easy socializing time with their friends. Afternoon carline is not a good socializing time, since all of the students have to be quiet to listen for their names being called.

 

The extra time in the morning also gives them time to switch into "school" gears -- this is something I'll have to figure out how to do when we are home schooling, since we won't have the change of scene.

[AMJ]

Rainefox,

 

Couldn't figure out how to get your post to quote, so here's just my comment:

 

My brother used to encourage other kids (on our street, so no getting away from them long-term) to pick on me, and would join in. He was, like me, a prime target for the bullies, and thought this way would gain him acceptance. It might work in the wild, but not with kids. They'd let him join in, then pound him later anyway. That ended when we moved out of state.

[AMJ]

Hit post too soon. Rainefox, you are a real trooper. I am deeply impressed.

[Miss Mousie]

I don't think I would do anything differently. I had considered homeschooling before I put him into K, but I'm kind of glad I didn't. I think I would have worried he was missing something. Now I know he's not really. I'm even glad I gave the online charter a try when I did. I know it's something we can tolerate if we needed to, which we may when it comes to high school.

 

 

I agree about worrying about missing something – I’d have done that, too. And, in fact, that’s another of my sticking points that is keeping me from taking the plunge. If I could clone DS and homeschool one and PS the other, then “keep†the one that graduates most happily, I’d do that in a heartbeat! ;)

 

I like the online charter idea a lot! I don’t think I’d want that for everything, but I’d probably hunt around for an online class or two.

[Miss Mousie]

After talking to our kids about why we want to home school the kids started seeing it more positively. After I suggested the schedule I'd prefer they were quite excited. We have decided together that we would home school year 'round, but 4 days per week. This would still leave us with 7 weeks (at least) to scatter around the year for breaks and vacation, and would eliminate the 2nd-half-of-summer boredom. The non-school day each week can be put to other purposes (some of them actually school): one day a month for field trips, one day a month for "home blessing" (catching up on housework), one day a month for shopping & errands (my eldest is all for this!), and one day a month for school catch-up and/or extra time for projects. A couple of times a year we can expect to have an extra non-school day per month -- these will be bonus days, and we will decide together what we want to do with them as they come up.

 

What a great schedule! If I stay working in my office, this sort of schedule would be easier to implement all around.

 

[Miss Mousie]

If I had known how much work it is, I never would have started.

If I had known how rewarding it is, I would have started a lot earlier.

 

 

Beautifully succinct! :)

[Miss Mousie]

Pulled dd1 from ninth grade and dd2 from eighth grade

 

{{{Rainefox}}}

 

 

Sorry, typing with a broken couple of fingers.

 

Now I’m doubly grateful for your contribution! Thanks so much for chiming in, and I hope your fingers heal well and quickly.

[Miss Mousie]

To pull out during HS is a lot of pressure to get stuff done when you are just learning how to teach your kids. At least if we had pulled him out during Middle School, we would have had more time for a learning curve. As it is, I feel like I have this giant countdown clock moving so quickly and every day off or every time an assignment doesn't get done, I get a little panicky.

Yes, I worry about this too. I think that's why I'm feeling "now or never" so strongly (DS will finish 6th grade in June and then start Jr. High - our district does not have middle school).

[Miss Mousie]

I should have listened to my gut and pulled her out in second grade. She cried almost every day about going to school But my mother was ill with ovarian cancer and eventually died during dd's fourth grade year. I had to spend that time with my parents, you know?

 

 

Yeah, it’s really my gut that has me in this pickle. My gut won’t shut the heck up!

 

I’m so sorry about your mom. I lost mine two years ago; it’s still a raw wound sometimes. :grouphug:

[Miss Mousie]

oh, as for transition - the first year was definitely rough. it felt like we didnt get anything done at all. in retrospect, they did learn some, but the most important lesson was about learning how to work together. our relationship has really deepened. i didnt believe that, reading other ppl saying it, because i'm not very touchy-feely, but it really has changed imo. this is our 4th year homeschooling and its almost easy . . lol

 

Yes ... another reason why 7th grade feels like "now or never."

[StinkyDaddy]

If you pulled your child from public school in later elementary or middle school years, can you tell me about it?

We pulled DS14 out after 5th grade, which was the end of elementary here. DD10 left ps Oct of the 5th grade, which was last fall.

 

Why did you decide to do it?

DS had several friends from the Y swim team who were homeschoolers and we were able to see the benefits firsthand. Academics were our main issue. DS had very good grades, but we didn't feel he was learning the skills he would need later.

DD was not being challenged and had no academic peers, the only kid to have all A's throughout elementary until we pulled her out.

 

How did you and your DC handle the transition?

I've had to learn quite a bit, but that's a good thing. The kids have handled it very well. DS had to work to make the adjustment the first year, partly because his 5th grade year in ps was so miserable. We really wish now that we had taken him out earlier, also the reason we pulled DD out midyear. We saw some of the same frustrations emerging and didn't want to put her thru that.

 

Did your child want to be homeschooled, or did you make the decision without his or her input?

Yep, both wanted to and are very happy. In fact our son plays rec lacrosse and the team is going into the public schools next year. He thought about going back to PS so he could play for the high school... for about a day. (In VA you must be a PS student to play HS sports)

 

Knowing what you know now, would you make the same choice again? What would you do differently?

Yes. We might have done HS from the beginning, but I'm not sure. I think we're very certain of our choice because we have done PS.

 

Tell me some stories, ladies.

Hope you don't mind that I'm a dude.

[bobbeym]

If you pulled your child from public school in later elementary or middle school years, can you tell me about it?

 

Why did you decide to do it?

 

How did you and your DC handle the transition?

 

Did your child want to be homeschooled, or did you make the decision without his or her input?

 

Knowing what you know now, would you make the same choice again? What would you do differently?

 

Tell me some stories, ladies. :lurk5:

 

We pulled DS out at the beginning of 8th grade, 2nd semester. He had made a poor choice that strongly impacted our district's "zero-tolerance policy". The principal was new to the school that year, but knew DS very well from his 6th grade year, and her attitude towards him simply astonished us. We disagreed with her desire to send him to an alternative school and wanted to appeal, but were told that she had the final say in our appeal process, and she wasn't going to change her mind. We felt very strongly she was only using him and the situation to assert her authority at that level. :cursing:

 

We talked with DS about the situation, being open and honest about our feelings and laid out all the facts. DS felt that going to the alternative school would not have a good outcome and so we pulled him out, knowing we were in it through graduation.

 

The transition was very rough. DH is disabled and home all day, but wasn't use to being accountable for anything. DS has no time management skills whatsoever. I work full time and had no idea what I was doing, nor did I know how to plan for someone else to teach/oversee or even what to teach. It wasn't pretty. LOL We ended up picking up social studies where he'd left off in ps and made do with what I could piece together online. Science we dropped entirely and had him retake Earth Science this year. Algebra 1 took us 5 different curriculums before we found one that worked slightly better than better than okay.

 

The district administration tried to negotiate a deal to get him to return to ps this past fall, but after laying out the facts and making a pro/con list, DS chose not to return.

 

He did whine for the first few weeks/months about not having any friends b/c most of his ps friends no longer talked to him since he wasn't there to talk to. It only took a couple months for him to make friends with the teens from our homeschool group and his church youth group, and he has reconnected with a few friends from his ps days now that all of them are in high school and have a little more freedom. FWIW, I'm perfectly fine with him not talking to the kids that didn't want to talk to him when he left ps, b/c none of them were people he needed to be hanging out with anyway. :lol:

 

My only regret about the situation is that we didn't pull him out of school after 5th grade since that was when he really started having problems in school. But we didn't know what we didn't know, and I think if we'd tried to hs through middle school, it would not have been successful and the outcome might have been much worse in the long run.

[Miss Mousie]

Tell me some stories, ladies.

Hope you don't mind that I'm a dude.

 

:D Don't mind at all! I appreciate the input very much. And I love your name.

[Miss Mousie]

We pulled DS out at the beginning of 8th grade, 2nd semester.

 

Wow. Sounds like you've been walking a rough road. I hope you continue to see improvement. :grouphug:

[bobbeym]

Wow. Sounds like you've been walking a rough road. I hope you continue to see improvement. :grouphug:

 

Thanks. Very, very slowly we are seeing improvement in both attitude and behavior, although we still struggle with time management and focus. One of the best things that happened from hsing was his self-realization of how the food he eats impacts him physically, mentally, and emotionally. That alone makes all the struggles worth it!

[Wildcat]

. 

 

 

[flyingiguana]

4th grade -- should have done it way earlier.

 

My daughter couldn't wait to get out of that school. No complaints from her.

 

There was very little transition. We basically did what we HAD been doing while she was in school. Because I was teaching her all of her math and giving her books to read. She just had the time to do stuff once she stayed home.

 

We should have done it earlier.

 

It took a lot less time on my part having her OUT of school than IN. Picking up the pieces from all the school disasters was consuming my life.

[Julie in MN]

Interesting thread. I didn't realize how many of us there were.

 

If you pulled your child from public school in later elementary or middle school years, can you tell me about it?

Why did you decide to do it?

How did you and your DC handle the transition?

Did your child want to be homeschooled, or did you make the decision without his or her input?

I pulled my middle dd out after she failed 9th grade. She went from an A/B student to F's and no one bothered to tell me until November school conferences. From November until July, all efforts were made by me, school counselor, summer school, but my dd had completely shut down. I did NOT want to homeschool. And I especially did not want to homeschool THIS child. She did not want to homeschool, either, and cried a lot.

 

Then at the end of my first year, I went to a convention and wandered into a talk I didn't realize was for younger kids (MFW, which didn't have anything for over 6th grade at the time). I started to think about homeschooling my youngest, who was in 1st grade at the time. During his 2nd grade year in ps, I started asking folks, If your student doesn't have any problems, why would you homeschool? It felt very strange to bring a child home who was doing fine in ps, but I slowly realized it was what I wanted to do. It was how I wanted to PARENT him. It was the time to parent him and teach him what was important to us that I never had when my older kids were rushing to ps and doing what ps told them to do. I brought ds home for 3rd grade. At the time, he didn't have any opinion either way, but by middle school he really wanted to go back to ps.

 

Knowing what you know now, would you make the same choice again? What would you do differently?

Yes I'd do it again.

 

I would spend less time in my homeschool trying to duplicate the ps and trying to make my dd fit a certain mold/track.

I would pull my dd out BEFORE middle school, where I believe she lost her sense of self and became obsessed with image. I would probably keep her home from K, since she didn't want to go there, anyways.

 

 

One of the sticking points for me is friendships. I don’t want DS to miss the experience/practice of “water cooler conversation,†and of course I want him to develop a couple of strong friendships; unfortunately, in his whole school experience so far, he really hasn’t found a solid friend. L So I guess he wouldn’t be missing much – but I am still afraid to close that door on him.

As for my “watercooler†comment, I was thinking that, even with extracurriculars like a TKD class, the kids don’t really have that much time to chit-chat – they show up a few minutes before class begins and leave a few minutes after it ends. I don’t know of any homeschool group locally, but I’m sure that would give plenty of that kind of time.

This whole friendship issue is such a false belief in my eyes. Yes, kids sometimes meet friends at school. Sometimes they don't, and how does that feel to be in a mob of 200 kids and be alone? I think feeling alone is much more common than feeling like you have friends.

 

I was a Girl Scout leader for some 10 years and a trainer of new leaders, so I knew a lot of girls. Girl friendships are very difficult. I can't think of any right now that blossomed out of school hours. Boys a little moreso, since they are more content with just doing stuff together, making jokes together, jumping from one kid to the next according to availability and agreeableness, not really analyzing or critiquing. But really most of my kids' lasting friendships came out of the neighborhood, their activities, a babysitter's family, etc. Several close friends of my boys aren't even in the same grade, so they never benefited from being in school with them even if they were public schooled. My oldest son was public schooled K-12 and does still have a few "school friendships," but those came out of the gifted classes he was in over the years, which was a little mini-universe in our public schools and not the regular situation.

 

If your kids aren't meeting friends at TKD, then it doesn't seem likely they will meet while seated at a desk in an elementary classroom, or rushing from class-to-class in a high school. I would choose outside activities according to your priorities. Whether homeschooled or not, you might make a priority of activities which allow kids to interact, rather than activities that focus on being still and listening. And I do think you need to get kids out if you want them to make friends -- our world isn't what it used to be, and kids aren't all outside running around the neighborhood. But getting them out can range from going to the park or the McDonalds playground regularly, to organizing a group at your house every week, and everything in between.

 

Lots to think about, I remember those days.

Julie

[Miss Mousie]

This whole friendship issue is such a false belief in my eyes. Yes, kids sometimes meet friends at school. Sometimes they don't, and how does that feel to be in a mob of 200 kids and be alone? I think feeling alone is much more common than feeling like you have friends.

 

Oh, boy, do I wish you had told me this when I was a teen!

 

 

Lots to think about, I remember those days.

Julie

 

I am driving myself completely wacko. :willy_nilly:

 

[OnTheBrink]

If you pulled your child from public school in later elementary or middle school years, can you tell me about it?

 

Why did you decide to do it?

 

How did you and your DC handle the transition?

 

Did your child want to be homeschooled, or did you make the decision without his or her input?

 

Knowing what you know now, would you make the same choice again? What would you do differently?

 

Tell me some stories, ladies. :lurk5:

 

I pulled my son out of ps after 8th grade.

 

I decided to do it because the ps was successfully sucking the desire to learn right out of him. He was depressed, bored, had to deal with bullies (including the school bus driver!), and apathetic teachers.

 

The transition was fine. We knew others who were homeschooling high school and they helped us a lot.

 

To his friends, he acted like he was against it; but really, he was relieved.

 

Knowing what I know now, I wish I'd pulled him out much much sooner.

 

Here's a story:

 

In 8th grade, I was told he was ready for geometry as a freshman. When I took him out of ps and had him tested, using Saxon's placement test, he did horribly. I then took him to the local CC and had him take their placement test and he couldn't get past the arithmetic section. He could understand higher math concepts, but he couldn't add! We spent the next 4 years making up for the math education he DIDN'T get and by college, he placed into college algebra.

 

He was not doing well in English, primarily grammar. Making him learn Latin GREATLY improved his grammar skills and he finally got English grammar. No Latin offered in the ps here.

 

He didn't miss the prom--he wasn't a prom kind of kid. He didn't miss music because he auditioned for and made the local youth symphony. We could pic extra curricular activities based on what he really wanted to learn, because we had the time during the day to take him to those activities.

[Miss Mousie]

Thank you all so much for sharing your stories. I will probably dither around and make myself nuts for another month before really truly for sure making a decision, and then spend another month or two thinking I should have decided differently, but all these stories are definitely adding weight to the "Do It!" side of the balance. Thank you, again.

[christielee7278]

 

 

I agree about worrying about missing something – I’d have done that, too. And, in fact, that’s another of my sticking points that is keeping me from taking the plunge. If I could clone DS and homeschool one and PS the other, then “keep†the one that graduates most happily, I’d do that in a heartbeat! ;)

 

I like the online charter idea a lot! I don’t think I’d want that for everything, but I’d probably hunt around for an online class or two.

 

I pulled my oldest out after the 4th grade. He has ADHD and the school's *solution* was to put him in the principal's office to do his work...alone.

 

We had a rough time of it because he wanted to stay in public school, and I eventually agreed to put him back this year (9th). I, like you, was afraid about him missing something.

 

We talked after parent-teacher conferences and both realized what a waste this year has been. Two of his teachers admitted that they are holding him back educationally because their classes are dumbed down to give more students a chance to pass. He's bored and aggravated.

 

He sees now that he would have been better off if he had stayed home. He's going to work hard to play *catch up* (to where he wants to be so he can feel more prepared for college).

 

I'm thrilled that he is coming home but frustrated that the school did NOTHING for his education this year. However if anything, he learned for himself what a waste it was and is determined to homeschool for the duration now. :)

 

The only thing he missed was a year of *real* education.

[beckster]

We didn't pull our daughter out until the middle of 7th grade. One week, she was in public school. The next week, she was home for a 2 week break while I scrambled. Then we started. We have never looked back. We pulled our son out the middle of the following year (his 5th grade year).

 

Why did we pull them? Our daughter was not being challenged, even in the gifted program. They kept saying "Maybe next year". We got tired of waiting. For our son, we originally kept him in public school. He had the same issues (not being challenged), but he is more social and liked being in a classroom. Until his 5th grade year. Wow. Teacher was not able to control the class. Our son asked to come home.

 

We have not looked back, except to kick ourselves for not doing this earlier. Both kids are thriving. They both were involved in the decision. We joined an ISP through a local private Christian school, so they have access to sports and activities. The only thing I would do differently is to start sooner!!

[EMC]

We pulled our son out of private school after 1st semester 9th grade.

 

Why did you decide to do it?

He was diagnosed with ADHD finally in the 7th grade. We felt that the school was not well equipped to handle it. I was already researching homeschooling b/c we planned to homeschool his younger siblings. After much thought, discussion and research, we finally decided to take the plunge and just do it.

 

How did you and your DC handle the transition?

He is so much calmer and more relaxed. He loves homeschooling.

 

Did your child want to be homeschooled, or did you make the decision without his or her input?

We did take his input. He was very receptive to the idea of homeschooling.

 

Knowing what you know now, would you make the same choice again? What would you do differently?

Yes, absolutely. I wish we would have done it sooner. We are still adjusting and learning, but it has been a great experience so far.

[Miss Mousie]

I asked DH last night - rather point-blank - if he thought his parents would be on board. After some talk about that, DH said, "I don't know if *I'm* on board." :( He acknowledged that I've been reading and researching for the last five years, and he hasn't read or thought about it much at all, but until lately I have always resigned myself to the "we can't do it" position, so he had no reason to think my view was changing. Through the course of the conversation, DH was sounding more supportive, and of course I told him we don't have to decide tomorrow, but I wish I hadn't just blurted it out.

 

And, for all my gung-ho in the last few days, today I find the pendulum swinging back again. It would take many contortions to make this work, starting with my job, including what to do with DS while DH and I are working. Then there is Pubescent-Boy-Brain to deal with, and his social needs (which exceed those of DH and me put together), which I couldn’t tend to through the usual activities if I am working afternoons… sigh.

 

There are a thousand reasons to do it, and a thousand reasons not to do it.

 

And I suppose this round of yearning, just like the others, will end with maintaining the status quo.

 

Sorry to be a downer. :(

[FloridaLisa]

I asked DH last night - rather point-blank - if he thought his parents would be on board. After some talk about that, DH said, "I don't know if *I'm* on board." :( He acknowledged that I've been reading and researching for the last five years, and he hasn't read or thought about it much at all, but until lately I have always resigned myself to the "we can't do it" position, so he had no reason to think my view was changing. Through the course of the conversation, DH was sounding more supportive, and of course I told him we don't have to decide tomorrow, but I wish I hadn't just blurted it out.

 

And, for all my gung-ho in the last few days, today I find the pendulum swinging back again. It would take many contortions to make this work, starting with my job, including what to do with DS while DH and I are working. Then there is Pubescent-Boy-Brain to deal with, and his social needs (which exceed those of DH and me put together), which I couldn’t tend to through the usual activities if I am working afternoons… sigh.

 

There are a thousand reasons to do it, and a thousand reasons not to do it.

 

And I suppose this round of yearning, just like the others, will end with maintaining the status quo.

 

Sorry to be a downer. :(

 

 

I don't know. After reading through your post, I would be seriously asking myself whether I wanted to grow old and always wonder whether I should have homeschooled. Y'all are looking at the what if's of homeschooling. But I think the "what if we had" might always bother you if you never tried it. There are definite reasons that can give one pause in jumping into homeschooling (I had them), but once in, I realized there was so, so much more that we were gaining than I had imagined. The fear of the unknown is such a phantom fear sometimes. But I get the struggle in the decision!

 

Lisa

[Brenda in MA]

I don't know. After reading through your post, I would be seriously asking myself whether I wanted to grow old and always wonder whether I should have homeschooled. Y'all are looking at the what if's of homeschooling. But I think the "what if we had" might always bother you if you never tried it. There are definite reasons that can give one pause in jumping into homeschooling (I had them), but once in, I realized there was so, so much more that we were gaining than I had imagined. The fear of the unknown is such a phantom fear sometimes. But I get the struggle in the decision!

 

Lisa

 

 

:iagree:

The fear of the unknown is powerful. If it makes you feel better, you can make the decision to try hsing for a year and then reevaluate after that. If you send the kids back to school, they really won't have missed out on much.

 

I asked DH last night - rather point-blank - if he thought his parents would be on board. After some talk about that, DH said, "I don't know if *I'm* on board." :( He acknowledged that I've been reading and researching for the last five years, and he hasn't read or thought about it much at all, but until lately I have always resigned myself to the "we can't do it" position, so he had no reason to think my view was changing. Through the course of the conversation, DH was sounding more supportive, and of course I told him we don't have to decide tomorrow, but I wish I hadn't just blurted it out.

 

 

It sounds good to me that you are talking about it with your dh. What pushed mine over the edge is when I sent him into son's ps classroom for career day. Once he saw for himself what went on there, he figured that we couldn't do much worse at home. I also think he felt good about the fact that we decided to commit to one year and then re-evaluate. That meant the hs decision wasn't final and could be reversed if we didn't think hs was working.

 

As far as the grandparents go -- my in-laws were pretty shocked when we told them, and they offered to try and get the boy into various private schools. They were skeptical for a while, but that has definitely changed. I was able to have my MIL watch one of my kids on a weekly basis so I could take the other to a class. She saw that he had school work to do, and in the end, all the time they spent together meant that the two of them are very close now. Once they saw that the kids were thriving, all of their concerns went away. My mother was also somewhat surprised by the decision, but now that my kids are kind, well-adjusted teens that know how to converse with adults, she's a big fan, too.

 

Best wishes in your decision-making. I hope you can come to a peace with whatever you decide.

 

Brenda