Emotions of college-bound girls in their senior year

[Tiramisu]

I'm wondering if someone could comment on this. Do you remember feeling anxiety and stress at this point in your life? Or, did your dd feel it?

[Muttichen]

Oh my goodness, my dd1 was never as moody as the time when she had to make a decision about college. Once she decided and mailed in the card, she was back to her happy self!

[Erica in OR]

Yes, I remember this from my own senior year even now. The college I really wanted to get into required SAT II subject tests, and I remember the stress I had working through the prep books. I had brought one to school to work on between class times, and at one point I felt so overwhelmed I just started sobbing before a class started. In the end, I was wait listed at that college; I cried when the letter arrived. The upshot—I attended another college much nearer to my family, met my future husband in a close-by city, and developed a relationship with a professor who has served as a life-long mentor and was able to offer me a dream job position. My overall feeling—it's good to have goals and to prepare, but in the end there were even better adventures than I could have imagined. I shouldn't have stressed over it, but that's easy to say now.

 

Erica in OR

[UrbanSue]

I'm pretty sure I was absolutely miserable to live with my senior year of high school. There were some family circumstances outside my control, but still. I'm the oldest but, from what I gather, my two younger siblings were the same. Transitions are tough.

[Dmmetler]

One of my friends spent most of her last semester moaning that "They're kicking me out of high school", and I'm pretty convinced that she should have failed her senior English class, since she didn't do at least 2 papers that I know of. She really, really was reluctant to move on. It took about a year before she stopped coming to the high school regularly to hang out in the band room and going to high school football games (she went to a local school and lived at home).

 

Me, I wanted out, ASAP. However, I'd been dually enrolled and in college summer programs for 2 years prior, so it wasn't as abrupt of a transition.

[AndyJoy]

I was a wreck my senior year. I never went through a period of teenage rebellion, but by the end of my senior year we were all ready for me to go!

 

I was scared. I was a perfectionist and had been a top student in school, but would I be shocked by college? Everyone kept trying to prepare me for the concept of possibly getting my first B. I worried about whether I'd made the right choice in major. Every adult under the sun had to chip in their 2 cents about careers, debt, classes, schedules, etc and it was a lot to process. I've always been good at appearing confident, but I've always had a strong strain of self-doubt underneath.

 

I loved my parents. My mom was my closest friend and confidant, who understood me better than any friend at the time. I knew I would miss them and that I might never really live at home again if I had summer jobs, a boyfriend, etc. I was sad at the thought of losing that connection with my mom. I ended up with only 1 more summer at home.

 

I wanted to go! High school was not challenging, and the boredom I'd managed to push through was getting to me. I wanted to explore some new realms of information! My college classes did not disappoint.

 

I was excited! My mom assured me I'd find more fitting friends in a "bigger pond" but of course I had to face the prospect of finding them! I had some fears that my last 3 years of high school would be repeated and I wouldn't find that "bosom friend" (that I'd had in 8th/9th grade until she moved away)

 

I worried about my sister. My parents worked a lot and sometimes I felt I was the only one who was somewhat connecting with her at the time (as it turned out, my parents said she took a major downturn academically and behaviorally after I left due to me not being their to remind her what she should be doing--she was struggling with undiagnosed ADD we discovered later, and having so much unstructured time to herself turned out to be bad for her)

 

I cried a lot. I stressed a lot. My dad bawled like a baby when they dropped me off. Then I felt a sense of relief as my parents drove away and settled right in. College was an amazing time in my life.

 

ETA: It wasn't the college acceptance process that bothered me--that was simple and straightforward in comparison to my inner turmoil!

[GailV]

I have no memory of problems my own senior year. I had one school I wanted to go to (Purdue), and it didn't occur to me that I might not be accepted, so it was all easy-peasy.

 

We're in junior year here, and the angst has already begun. "Do you want to send your ACT scores somewhere this time?" "Sure!" ..... crickets chirping ....... "Um, well, honey, you need to decide where you're going to send them, then." SImilar situations in regard to campus visits -- every place is lame. And now you're telling me senior year will be even worse? :svengo:

[AK_Mom4]

DD19 is a freshman in college this year, but last year was a total rollercoaster. Fear of leaving home. Excitment at being accepted. Fear that she wouldn't be able to handle the classes. Excitment to be almost done. Fear of not being in high school anymore.

 

Up and Down. Back and Forth. Launching her was like riding a tidal wave. But we all survived the angst and the drama and the panic at the 11th hour. And she is doing well and really enjoying college.

[dangermom]

I had a good senior year, but I clearly remember many of my friends freaking out. One said that she felt like it was going to be the end of everything. One drifted for a while before figuring things out. And so on.

[Word Nerd]

I was involved in a lot of extracurricular activities my senior year and was the president of two different clubs. I remember one evening having a complete melt-down and sobbing on my mom's shoulder because I had overcommitted myself and didn't know how I would possibly get everything done and fulfill all my responsibilities. It all worked out, but it was incredibly stressful. I wasn't really worried about college but decided I would be more careful about trying to do too many things at once at my university.

[gardenmom5]

I've sent two girls to the other side of the country for college.

1dd - there were days . . . . (oh, she was bored her freshman year, but their college limits how many classes a student can take.)

2dd - she was just fine, and not much fazes her. she did have her sister with her her freshman year, and promptly made many friends (she's very outgoing). despite a two-year break to go to south america, she came back and made new friends as her other friends had graduated while she was gone.

 

alot will depend upon the personality of the girl.

[lavender's green]

I remember a ton of anxiety and stress, and I was utterly burnt out from school, work, and extracurricular commitments (took me years to recover, actually). There was crazy family stuff going on as well. I usually keep my emotions inside, so this all came out as a huge panic attack, complete with ambulance ride and ER visit!

[myfunnybunch]

I was excited about moving on to a new stage of my life.

 

My eldest dd struggles with "new" in general, and the high school--college transition was really overwhelming for her.

 

My dd with autism is all over the map emotionally this year. She's facing the very real gap between her dreams and her abilities. We all have no idea what she's going to do/be able to do. Poor sweet.

 

Cat

[Halftime Hope]

I thought I would die before we made it through senior year.

 

Dd is a perfectionsit and was in transition between the major everyone assumed she'd pursue and her heart being pulled in another direction. She applied to too many colleges since she didn't know what she wanted to do (she is now doing two full majors and an unrelated minor), then not only navigated the apps process, the honor programs interviews, the competitive scholarships process, but in the end had Doors 1, 2, and 3 to choose from. OMGoodness! At one point we told her, there is no wrong place, they're all just different and you have to pick one.

 

We lived, but it was pretty stressful for 5 months.

[BakersDozen]

From the student's point of view: The stress and emotions of that last year (spring semester and summer, mostly), pretty much destroyed my relationship with my mom. It strained other relationships. I was the first in the family to attend college and neither I nor my family knew how to handle the change and emotions that went with it. I wish someone had talked to both me and my parents/family. But most of all, I wish someone had told me, even as I was putting the last box in my car, that I didn't have to go. For me, that was the biggest issue. I was supposed to be excited about this new adventure that everyone else was going on, yet I wasn't ready - not by a long shot. I was so immature socially, I really needed to stay home, attend CC, and grow up a bit. That first college year almost killed me (seriously, I was suicidal).

 

I needed more open and honest communication. I needed my parents to not say/do what they thought should be said/done but what really needed to be said/done. I needed them to tell me that I could talk to them openly and truthfully; since I could not, I held things in and acted out. My mom didn't know how to handle her own emotions much less mine. It was a bad time and I am so, so, so glad my oldest is not college bound (CC, yes). If she was college bound, at least I would have my own experience to draw on so she wouldn't have to go through what I did. :(

[Tiramisu]

Thank you--all of you!--for sharing such tender stories.

 

I look forward to reading more.

[texasmama]

My oldest is a college-bound senior this year. She was moody and unbearable to live with for months until she decided on a college. Then, she suddenly believed that there was life beyond her small, private (read: stifling) school. She has been a lovely person to be around and seems truly excited and happy about her future. When I was that age, I couldn't wait to get out of my parent's house, but my family was not too functional at that point so I think that was a good move.

[Deb in NZ]

Dd was a bear to live with the last 3-4 months before she left for uni. Sept-Nov were very stressfull months during each of her uni years as well. This surprised us as this wasn't normal behaviour for her. We are all enjoying the lack of stress her cadetship has brought both her & the family.

 

Blessings,